第 16 节
作者:寻找山吹      更新:2022-04-27 10:15      字数:9322
  me!  God; deliver me!  Let me be free!  Is there any
  God?  Why am I a slave?  I will run away。  I will not
  stand it。  Get caught; or get clear; I'll try it。  I had
  as well die with ague as the fever。  I have only one
  life to lose。  I had as well be killed running as die
  standing。  Only think of it; one hundred miles
  straight north; and I am free!  Try it?  Yes!  God
  helping me; I will。  It cannot be that I shall live
  and die a slave。  I will take to the water。  This very
  bay shall yet bear me into freedom。  The steam…
  boats steered in a north…east course from North
  Point。  I will do the same; and when I get to the
  head of the bay; I will turn my canoe adrift; and
  walk straight through Delaware into Pennsylvania。
  When I get there; I shall not be required to have a
  pass; I can travel without being disturbed。  Let but
  the first opportunity offer; and; come what will; I
  am off。  Meanwhile; I will try to bear up under the
  yoke。  I am not the only slave in the world。  Why
  should I fret?  I can bear as much as any of them。
  Besides; I am but a boy; and all boys are bound to
  some one。  It may be that my misery in slavery will
  only increase my happiness when I get free。  There
  is a better day coming。〃
  Thus I used to think; and thus I used to speak
  to myself; goaded almost to madness at one mo…
  ment; and at the next reconciling myself to my
  wretched lot。
  I have already intimated that my condition was
  much worse; during the first six months of my stay
  at Mr。 Covey's; than in the last six。  The circum…
  stances leading to the change in Mr。 Covey's course
  toward me form an epoch in my humble history。
  You have seen how a man was made a slave; you
  shall see how a slave was made a man。  On one of
  the hottest days of the month of August; 1833; Bill
  Smith; William Hughes; a slave named Eli; and
  myself; were engaged in fanning wheat。  Hughes was
  clearing the fanned wheat from before the fan。  Eli
  was turning; Smith was feeding; and I was carrying
  wheat to the fan。  The work was simple; requiring
  strength rather than intellect; yet; to one entirely
  unused to such work; it came very hard。  About three
  o'clock of that day; I broke down; my strength failed
  me; I was seized with a violent aching of the head;
  attended with extreme dizziness; I trembled in every
  limb。  Finding what was coming; I nerved myself
  up; feeling it would never do to stop work。  I stood
  as long as I could stagger to the hopper with grain。
  When I could stand no longer; I fell; and felt as
  if held down by an immense weight。  The fan of
  course stopped; every one had his own work to do;
  and no one could do the work of the other; and
  have his own go on at the same time。
  Mr。 Covey was at the house; about one hundred
  yards from the treading…yard where we were fanning。
  On hearing the fan stop; he left immediately; and
  came to the spot where we were。  He hastily in…
  quired what the matter was。  Bill answered that I
  was sick; and there was no one to bring wheat to the
  fan。  I had by this time crawled away under the
  side of the post and rail…fence by which the yard
  was enclosed; hoping to find relief by getting out
  of the sun。  He then asked where I was。  He was
  told by one of the hands。  He came to the spot; and;
  after looking at me awhile; asked me what was
  the matter。  I told him as well as I could; for I scarce
  had strength to speak。  He then gave me a savage
  kick in the side; and told me to get up。  I tried to
  do so; but fell back in the attempt。  He gave me
  another kick; and again told me to rise。  I again
  tried; and succeeded in gaining my feet; but; stoop…
  ing to get the tub with which I was feeding the
  fan; I again staggered and fell。  While down in this
  situation; Mr。 Covey took up the hickory slat with
  which Hughes had been striking off the half…bushel
  measure; and with it gave me a heavy blow upon
  the head; making a large wound; and the blood ran
  freely; and with this again told me to get up。  I made
  no effort to comply; having now made up my mind
  to let him do his worst。  In a short time after re…
  ceiving this blow; my head grew better。  Mr。 Covey
  had now left me to my fate。  At this moment I re…
  solved; for the first time; to go to my master; enter
  a complaint; and ask his protection。  In order to do
  this; I must that afternoon walk seven miles; and
  this; under the circumstances; was truly a severe
  undertaking。  I was exceedingly feeble; made so as
  much by the kicks and blows which I received; as
  by the severe fit of sickness to which I had been
  subjected。  I; however; watched my chance; while
  Covey was looking in an opposite direction; and
  started for St。 Michael's。  I succeeded in getting a
  considerable distance on my way to the woods; when
  Covey discovered me; and called after me to come
  back; threatening what he would do if I did not
  come。  I disregarded both his calls and his threats;
  and made my way to the woods as fast as my feeble
  state would allow; and thinking I might be over…
  hauled by him if I kept the road; I walked through
  the woods; keeping far enough from the road to
  avoid detection; and near enough to prevent losing
  my way。  I had not gone far before my little strength
  again failed me。  I could go no farther。  I fell down;
  and lay for a considerable time。  The blood was yet
  oozing from the wound on my head。  For a time I
  thought I should bleed to death; and think now that
  I should have done so; but that the blood so matted
  my hair as to stop the wound。  After lying there
  about three quarters of an hour; I nerved myself
  up again; and started on my way; through bogs and
  briers; barefooted and bareheaded; tearing my feet
  sometimes at nearly every step; and after a journey
  of about seven miles; occupying some five hours to
  perform it; I arrived at master's store。  I then pre…
  sented an appearance enough to affect any but a
  heart of iron。  From the crown of my head to my
  feet; I was covered with blood。  My hair was all
  clotted with dust and blood; my shirt was stiff with
  blood。  I suppose I looked like a man who had es…
  caped a den of wild beasts; and barely escaped them。
  In this state I appeared before my master; humbly
  entreating him to interpose his authority for my
  protection。  I told him all the circumstances as well
  as I could; and it seemed; as I spoke; at times to
  affect him。  He would then walk the floor; and seek
  to justify Covey by saying he expected I deserved
  it。  He asked me what I wanted。  I told him; to let
  me get a new home; that as sure as I lived with Mr。
  Covey again; I should live with but to die with
  him; that Covey would surely kill me; he was in a
  fair way for it。  Master Thomas ridiculed the idea
  that there was any danger of Mr。 Covey's killing
  me; and said that he knew Mr。 Covey; that he was
  a good man; and that he could not think of taking
  me from him; that; should he do so; he would lose
  the whole year's wages; that I belonged to Mr。 Covey
  for one year; and that I must go back to him; come
  what might; and that I must not trouble him with
  any more stories; or that he would himself GET HOLD
  OF ME。  After threatening me thus; he gave me a very
  large dose of salts; telling me that I might remain
  in St。 Michael's that night; (it being quite late;)
  but that I must be off back to Mr。 Covey's early
  in the morning; and that if I did not; he would
  ~get hold of me;~ which meant that he would whip
  me。  I remained all night; and; according to his or…
  ders; I started off to Covey's in the morning; (Sat…
  urday morning;) wearied in body and broken in
  spirit。  I got no supper that night; or breakfast that
  morning。  I reached Covey's about nine o'clock; and
  just as I was getting over the fence that divided
  Mrs。 Kemp's fields from ours; out ran Covey with
  his cowskin; to give me another whipping。  Before
  he could reach me; I succeeded in getting to the
  cornfield; and as the corn was very high; it afforded
  me the means of hiding。  He seemed very angry; and
  searched for me a long time。  My behavior was al…
  together unaccountable。  He finally gave up the
  chase; thinking; I suppose; that I must come home
  for something to eat; he would give himself no fur…
  ther trouble in looking for me。  I spent that day
  mostly in the woods; having the alternative before
  me;to go home and be whipped to death; or stay
  in the woods and be starved to death。  That night;
  I fell in with Sandy Jenkins; a slave with whom
  I was somewhat acquainted。  Sandy had a free wife
  who lived about four miles from Mr。 Covey's; and
  it being Saturday; he was on his way to see her。  I
  told him my circumstances; and he very kindly in…
  vited me to go home with him。  I went home with
  him; and talked this whole matter over; and got his
  advice as to what course it was best for me to pursue。
  I found Sandy an old adviser。  He told me; with
  great solemnity; I must go back to Covey; but