A　paleontologist　can　find　lifetime　fascination　with　a　fossil　a　child　might　ignore；
  kick；　or　toss　into　the　lake　just　to　hear　the　splash。　Likewise；　the　grammar　of　various
  languages　throws　off　some　laughs　and　insights　nonlinguists　never　get　a　chance　to　marvel
  at。
  In　German；　for　example；　a　woman　doesn’t　achieve　feminine　gender　until　she　gets
  married。　The　word　for　“girl”　（M。dchen）　and　“miss”　（Fr。ulein）　are　both　neuter　gender。　In
  Russian；　the　past　tense　of　verbs　acts　like　an　adjective；　it　doesn’t　shift　forms　according　to
  person　and　number　as　verbs　normally　do；　but　shift　according　to　gender　and　number　as
  adjectives　do。　In　Norwegian；　Danish；　and　Swedish　the　definite　article　（“the”）　follows　the
  noun　and　is　attached　to　it。　Therefore；　“a　field”　in　Norwegian　is　en　mark。　“The　field；”；
  however；　is　marken。　Romanian　and　Albanian；　completely　unrelated　to　the　Scandinavian
  languages；　do　the　same　thing。
  In　Finnish；　the　word　for　“not”　is　a　verb。　（At　least　it　behaves　like　a　verb。）　Finnish；
  alone　in　all　the　world；　has　an　inflecting　negative。　In　every　other　language　in　which　verbs
  conjugate；　the　form　of　the　verb　changes　according　to　person　and　number；　whether　the
  verb　is　positive　or　negative。　Thus；　in　Spanish　the　verb　meaning　“to　want”　goes　yo　quiero；
  tu　quieres；　el　quiere。　If　you　wish　to　say　“I　don’t　want”；　you　keep　the　verb　forms　the　same
  and　throw　the　word　for　“not”；　no；　in　front　of　it　（yo　no　quiero；　tu　no　quieres；　el　no　quiere）。
  In　Finnish；　and　this　is　pure　believe…it…or…not　to　anyone　who’s　looked　at　a　lot　of
  different　languages；　it’s　the　word　for　not　that　does　the　changing！　Thus；　“I　want；”　“you
  want；”　“he　wants”　in　Finnish　goes；　（min。）　haluan；　（sin。）　haluat；　（h。n）　halua。　In　the
  negative；　however；　the　verb　for　“want”　becomes　halua　in　all　persons　and　the　word　for
  “not”　changes　from　person　to　person。　Thus；　“I　don’t　want；”　“you　don’t　want；”　“he
  doesn’t　want”　becomes　（min。）　en　halua；　（sin。）　et　halua；　（h。n）　ei　halua。
  I　think　my　most　impossible　to　top　discovery　is　the　fact　that　in　Hindi　and　Urdu
  “tomorrow”　and　“yesterday”　are　translated　by　the　same　word。　Once；　a　Pakistani　cab
  driver　actually　seemed　irked　that　I　found　that　to　be　at　all　strange。　“We　have　verb　tenses　to
  tell　us　which　is　which”　was　his　testy　explanation。
  American　feminists　have　mounted　crusades　to　convert　sexist　terms　that　have　over
  the　years　insinuated　themselves　deep　into　the　language。　We’ve　all　abandoned　chairman；
  for　example；　for　the　cumbersome　but　less　provocative　chairperson；　manhole　for
  maintenance　hole；　and　so　on。
  It’s　strange　that　the　most　blazing　example　of　language　sexism　has　gone　unreformed；
  even　though　it　occurs　in　some　countries　with　active　and　successful　feminist　movements。
  Maybe　it’s　because；　unlike　manhole；　this　sexism　is　more　than　just　a　word　or　a　term。　It’s
  gone　through　the　bone　into　the　marrow；　through　the　words　of　the　language　into　the
  grammar。
  You　may　remember　it　from　Spanish　1。　You　may　have　gotten　it　right　on　the　tests　and
  not　thought　of　it　since。　I　refer　to　the　Romance　language　“gender　surrender”　from
  feminine　to　masculine。
  Let’s　say　two　women　are　having　lunch。　If　you　want　to　refer　to　them　in　Spanish；　the
  word　is　ellas；　the　feminine　“they”　or　“them。”　If　they　should　be　joined　by　a　man；　however；
  the　ellas　becomes　ellos；　masculine　for　“they”　or　“them。”　And　no　matter　how　many　more
  women　show　up　and　crowd　around　the　table；　the　Spanish　language　can　never　put　that
  humpty　dumpty　ellas　back　into　play　–　unless　the　lone　man　leaves！
  Theoretically；　a　million　women　can　be　rallying　in　the　main　square　of　the　capital。
  The　newspapers　will　report　that　ellas　rallied；　made　demands；　did　thus　and　so。　If；　however；
  one　man　wanders　into　the　square　to　join　in；　the　proper　pronoun　is　ellos！　And　that　same
  rule　goes　for　French；　Italian；　Portugese；　Romanian；　and　a　few　other　languages。
  You　may　never　come　to　love　grammar；　but　work　with　it。　Although　sometimes
  annoying　and　thick　in　disguise；　it’s　your　friend。
  French　or　Tagalog：
  Choosing　a　Language
  What　are　your　language　objectives？
  This　is　not　merely　one　of　those　abstract　questions　universities　and　fitness　centres
  like　to　annoy　you　with　before　they　accept　your　application。
  Are　you　planning　to　marry　a　German　and　live　in　Germany？　Then　the　language　you
  want　to　learn　in　German。　You　should　stick　to　German　and　learn　it　well。　Do　you　own　a
  hardware　store　in　a　neighbourhood　of　a　growing　American　city　where　your　customers
  represent　eighteen　different　language　groups；　including　Tagalog　and　Punjabi？　Then　you
  want　to　learn　greetings；　key　business　expressions　like　“invoice”　and　“charge　account；”
  and　the　names　of　as　many　items　in　your　inventory　as　you　can　in　eighteen　different
  languages；　including　Tagalog　and　Punjabi。
  The　way　you’re　going　to　spend　your　language　learning　hours　depends　on　your
  objectives。
  We’re　going　to　presume　here　that　whatever　language　you　choose　to　learn；　you　want
  to　learn　well。　If　you　merely　want　to　learn　a　smattering　of　greetings　and　phrases　in　a　lot　of
  languages；　great。　You’re　in　for　a　lot　of　fun；　particularly　when　you　see；　if　you　haven’t
  already；　how　far　even　a　few　words　can　carry　you。　In　that　case；　the　departure　from　the
  method　outlined　here　is　obvious。　You　don’t　need　mastery　of　the　grammar。　Most　big
  bookstores　offer　racks　of　phrase　books　for　travellers　in　up　to　twenty…five　different
  languages。　Buy　all　you　want　and　study　your　favourite　ten　or　fifteen　of　the　first　hundred
  phrases　in　each。
  Don’t　feel　frivolous　if　you　feel　you　want　to　learn　a　language　but　don’t　know　which
  one。　You’re　part　of　a　movement　to　correct　a　weakness　that　has　bedevilled　America　since
  the　founding　of　our　nation。　Do　you　like　opera？　Try　Italian。　Diamonds？　Try　Dutch。
  Commercial　advantage？　German　or　Japanese。　Cutting　edge　positioning　for　the　world
  down　the　road？　Chinese　or　Arabic。　East…West　barrier　breaking　and　door　opening？
  Russian。
  French　is　second　only　to　English　as　an　international　language；　spoken　far　beyond
  the　borders　of　France　itself。　Spanish　enables　Americans　to　become　more　complete
  citizens　of　the　Western　Hemisphere；　while　a　resurgent　Spain　itself　becomes　an
  increasingly　important　part　of　Europe。
  If　willingness　of　subject　peoples　to　learn　the　language　of　the　conqueror　is　any
  indication　of　the　conqueror’s　popularity；　then　the　winning　conqueror　is　England　and　the
  loser　is　Russia。　Those　forced　into　Moscow’s　postwar　empire　had　an　aversion　to　learning
  Russian；　but　in　spite　of　Communism’s　failure；　the　Russian　language　remains　the　most
  widely　spoken　of　the　Slavic　languages。　It　can　be　your　key　to　the　dozen　or　so　related
  languages　（Polish；　Czech；　etc。）。
  Maybe　you　want　to　learn　a　difficult　language；　like　Finnish；　an　easy　language；　like
  Indonesian；　a　useful　language；　like　French；　or　an　obscure　language；　like　Albanian。
  My　motives　for　learning　various　languages　have　ranged　from　chance　and　youthful
  energy　（Norwegian）　to　wanting　a　vital　tool　for　my　work　（Spanish）　to　processing　refugees
  （Hungarian）　to　getting　dates　with　women　whose　looks　I　liked　（Swedish）　to　proving　I
  wasn’t　an　idiot　for　almost　flunking　Latin　（Chinese）。
  Nobody　who　sells　language　learning　books　and　devices　will　ever　frown　in
  disappointment　at　your　choice　of　a　language。　Don’t　feel　you　have　to　apologise　or　explain
  that　you　want　to　learn　Czech　–　or　Catalan　or　Yoruba　or　Urdu　or　Kurdish　–　for　no　other
  reason　than　you’re　tired　of　walking　around　a　world　as　exciting　as　this　one　speaking　only
  one　language！
  Gathering　Your　Tools
  You’ve　decided　which　language　you’re　going　to　learn；　and　you’ve　made　a　deal　with　the
  grammar　of　that　language：　you　agree　to　learn　it；　and　in　return　it　agrees　not　to　rush　you；
  bore　you；　discourage　you；　or　hurt　you。
  Now　it’s　time　to　go　shopping。　Find　a　bookstore　that　offers　a　broad　selection　of
  language　learning　materials。　Don’t　settle　for　one　where　the　clerk　is　not　sure　but　says；
  “We　might　have　something　in　French　and　Spanish　over　in　‘Language。’”
  BASIC　TEXTBOOK
  Find　a　basic　book　（textbook；　workbook）　that　gives　you　a　good　grounding　in　the　grammar
  of　the　language。　Never　mind　if　it　seems　to　give　you　grammar　and　little　else。　Never　mind
  if　it　reminds　you　of　the　books　that　depressed　you　back　in　high　school　and　college。　We’ll
  find　all　the　excitement　–　reading　and　conversation　–　elsewhere。　Grammar　is　all　you　need
  from　this　one。
  DICTIONARY
  Most　language　dictionaries　are　two　way：　English…French　（or　whatever）　and　French…
  English。　Make　sure　the　dictionary　you　buy　at　least　lives　up　to　that。　（I　have　walked　out　of
  bookstores　with　dictionaries　I　assumed　were　two　way　that　turned　out　to　be　only　one　way；
  and　the　way　I　wasn’t　looking　for！）
  A　lot　of　dictionaries　are　infuriatingly　inadequate。　They　don’t　even　have　words　like
  negotiate　and　proprietor。　Spend　a　little　time　making　sure　you’re　getting　something
  subs