Peter　Halberg　of　New　York　refuses　to　consider　that　he　speaks　a　language　unless　and　until
  he　can　conduct　a　medical　lecture　in　the　language　and　then　take　hostile　questioning　from
  his　peers。　By　his　standards；　he　only　speaks　five　languages！
  My　standards　are　less　exacting。　I’ll　confess　to　“speaking　a　language”　if；　after
  engaging　in　deep　conversation　with　a　charming　woman　from　a　country　whose　language
  I’m　studying；　I　have　difficulty　the　next　morning　recalling　which　language　it　was　we　were
  speaking。
  The　Language　Club；　about　which　I　will　say　more　later；　has　a　valuable　guideline。
  When　anybody　asks　a　Language　Clubber；　“How　many　languages　do　you　speak？”　he
  gives　the　only　safe　answer；　“One。　I　speak　my　native　language。”　He　lets　a　breath　go　by　to
  let　that　“one”　sink　in；　after　which　he　may　then　add；　“However；　I　am　a　student　of…”　and
  mentions　as　many　languages　as　he　likes。
  To　the　question；　“Do　you　speak　such　and　such　a　language？”　the　all　class　response　is
  a　James　Bond　smile　and　three　words：　“Yes；　a　little。”　It’s　much　better　to　let　people
  gradually　realise　that　your　“little”　is　really　quite　a　bit　than　to　have　them　realise　that　your
  “Yes；　I　speak　such　and　such”　is　a　fraud。
  Say　you’ve　been　studying　Indonesian；　far　from　a　commonplace　language；　and　to
  your　amazement　（and　delight）　one　of　the　other　guests　for　dinner　is　from　Indonesia。
  Repress　the　instinct　to　yelp　at　your　good　fortune。　Act　at　first　as　though　you　know　nothing
  of　Indonesian。　Don’t　even　say　“Pleased　to　meet　you”　in　Indonesian。　There　will　be　time。
  At　the　right　point；　much　later　in　the　proceedings；　you’ll　have　the　opening　to　remark；
  “That’s　what　the　merchants　of　Djakarta　would　call…”　and　then　let　go　your　best　burst　of
  wit　–　in　Indonesian。
  For　you　to　actually　speak　Indonesian　and　allow　so　much　time　to　elapse　before
  claiming　your　applause　is　downright　noble。　Beware　flying　socks　when　you　lean　over　to
  your　new　Indonesian　friend　and；　lowering　your　voice　so　as　not　to　appear　to　be　calling
  attention　to　yourself；　finally　unleash　your　evening’s　first　volley　of　Indonesian。
  Psych　Up
  Americans　have　grown　up　believing　learning　languages　is　hard。　It　is　not　hard！　It　merely
  seems　hard　because　language　instruction　in　American　schools　and　colleges　has　until
  lately　been　so　exasperatingly　dull　and　unrewarding。
  Grammar；　I　again　protest；　is　usually　presented　in　American　classrooms　as　a　kind　of
  obstacle　course　designed　to　leave　you　gasping　face　down　on　the　Astroturf　somewhere
  between　the　pluperfect　and　the　subjunctive。　Grammar　can　do　that　to　you　if　you　insist　on
  attacking　it　the　old　way：　frontally；　rule　by　rule；　exception　by　exception；　with　no　fun　en
  route　and　never　feeling　the　joy　of　progress。
  You’re　going　to　learn　grammar；　all　right；　but　the　conquest　will　never　give　you　pain。
  You　will　waft　through　the　thickest　walls　of　grammar　like　a　cartoon　ghost　and　continue
  your　journey　onward　through　the　language。　Every　time　you　look　backward　that　wall　will
  be　lower；　thinner；　full　of　increasingly　wider　openings；　and　eventually　it　will　disappear
  entirely。　Contrary　to　centuries　of　American　superstition；　you　don’t　have　to　conquer　the
  grammar　to　possess　the　language。　Conquer　the　language　and　you’ll　possess　the　grammar！
  I’ve　long　entertained　the　fantasy　of　putting　the　old　orthodox　grammarians　on　trial
  for　war　crimes；　the　specific　charge　being　assassination　of　the　fun　that　flows　from　gaining
  command　of　another　language。　Their　defense　will　predictably　be　“Bah；　humbug。　You
  can’t　immerse；　converse；　rehearse；　or　even　play　around　with　a　foreign　language　without　a
  good　foundation　in　the　grammar！”
  They’re　right　in　insisting　on　the　importance　of　grammar；　but　who　says　you’ve　got　to
  have　it　first；　as　some　kind　of　brutal　initiation？　Where　is　it　written　that　you　must　wrap
  cold；　wet　blankets　of　grammar　around　your　eagerness　to　learn　another　language　until　it
  disappears？　（Your　eagerness；　that　is。　The　grammar　never　does。）
  A　six　year　old　in　America　doesn’t　know　what　the　word　grammar　means；　but　he
  knows　to　say　“he　does”　and　not　“he　do。”　How　does　he　know？　“He　do”　just　doesn’t　sound
  right。
  That’s　all！　And　that’s　enough！
  Years　later　he　will　be　taught　that　the　English　verb　in　the　third　person　singular　of　the
  present　tense　adds　an　s　or　es　to　the　infinitive　form；　which　serves　uninflected　for　all　other
  persons　singular　and　plural。
  You　don’t　have　to　know　grammar　to　obey　grammar。　If　you　obey　grammar　from　the
  outset；　when　you　turn　around　later　and　learn　why　you　should　say　things　the　way　you’re
  already　saying　them；　each　grammatical　rule　will　then　become　not　an　instrument　of
  abstract　torture　disconnected　from　anything　you’ve　experienced　but　rather　an　old　friend
  who　now　wants　you　to　have　his　home　address　and　private　phone　number。
  When　the　grammatical　rule　come　first；　followed　by　its　pitiful　two　or　three　examples
  in　the　textbook；　it　seems　to　the　student　like　an　artificially　confected　bit　of　perversity
  rolled　down　upon　his　head　like　a　boulder。
  When　the　grammatical　rule　comes　after　you’ve　got　some　of　the　language　in　you；　it
  becomes　a　gift　flashlight　that　makes　you　smile　and　say；　“Now　I　understand　why　they　say
  it　that　way！”
  So；　you　are　right　now　and　forevermore　warned　not　to　bridle　or　to　question；　“Why　is
  the　word　for　‘go’　in　this　French　sentence　vais　and　in　the　very　next　sentence　aller？”
  Simply　embrace　the　faith　that　both　sentences　are　correct　and　learn　them　like　Catholic
  children　in　strict　parochial　schools　learn　the　Baltimore　Catechism。
  The　more　shaken　you　become　by　grammatical　storms；　the　more　tightly　you　must
  hug　the　faith。　I　vow　it　will　all　become　clear。　And　in　this　world。　You　won’t　have　to　wait
  for　any　other。
  It’s　easy　to　reason；　“Who　am　I　trying　to　kid？　They’ll　always　know　I’m　a　foreigner。
  They’ll　excuse　my　mistakes。　So　forget　about　all　those　rules。　I　just　want　to　get　by。　Gimme
  some　words　and　phrases　and　get　out　of　my　way。　As　long　as　they　understand！”
  That’s　an　attitude　to　be　resisted。　When　you　learn　another　language；　you　will　be
  accepted　as　an　honoured　volunteer　into　the　culture　of　another　people。　Do　you　want　to　be
  accorded　a　low　rank　or　a　high　rank？　Learn　the　language　properly；　which　means
  （eventual）　conquest　of　the　grammar。　Don’t　be　a　buck　private　when；　for　a　few　minutes　of
  extra　concentration；　you　can　be　a　general。
  Look　at　it　this　way。　Grammar　is　not　a　marathon　run　in　which；　if　you　tire；　falter；　or
  fall；　you　fail。　Grammar　is　an　edifice　you　must　build　on　your　property。　But　it　doesn’t　have
  to　be　done　all　at　once。　At　the　appointed　moment　in　your　studies；　I　will　advise　you　to
  master　the　first　five　lessons　in　your　grammar　book。　（Some　call　it　a　textbook　or　a
  workbook　–　it’s　the　book　they’ll　give　you　at　the　bookstore　if　you　ask；　“Have　you　got
  anything　that　teaches　you　French？”）　After　that；　you　will　advance　through　reading；
  conversation；　comprehension；　and　real　world　contact　with　the　languages　in　addition　to　the
  grammar。
  As　I　grappled　with　the　complexities　of　grammar　in　Russian；　Finnish；　Hungarian；
  and；　to　a　lesser　extent；　German；　I　had　visions　of　those　people　way　back　when　they　were
  wandering　tribes。　I　imagined　the　tribal　elders　squatting　around　campfires　consulting　with
  soothsayers　who　warned　them；　“In　the　mid　twentieth　century　a　child　will　be　born　to　the
  Farber　family　in　a　place　they’ll　call　America。　He　will　try　to　learn　our　language。　At
  present　it’s　too　simple。　Get　back　to　work　and　come　up　with　some　more　grammar。　Let　our
  noun　endings　mire　him　up　to　his　hips。　Let　the　felsh　of　his　face　feel　the　thorns　of　our
  verbs。　Flay　his　back　with　exceptions　to　our　rules　and　let　his　hair　get　caught　in　our
  inflecting　negatives　and　perfective　aspects。
  “Hurry！”　the　soothsayer　concludes。　“We　haven’t　got　a　century　to　waste。　Get　in　there
  right　now　and　mess　our　language　up　so　that　poor　guy　will　never　get　it！”
  Now　let　the　adult　mind　enter　and　make　peace。　Obviously；　no　language　tries　to　be
  hard　just　to　keep　you　out。　Whatever　rules　you　find　perplexing　in　your　target　language；
  that　language　came　by　them　naturally　and　organically。　Grammar　does　change；　but　so
  slowly　you’ll　never　have　to　worry　about　it。　Approach　the　grammar　with　a　smile　and　your
  hand　extended。　That　which　you　understand；　take　and　keep。　That　which　is　confusing；
  return　to　again　and　again。　That　which　seems　impossible；　return　to　again　and　again　and
  again；　until　it　becomes　merely　confusing。　It　will　ultimately　become　clear。　Meanwhile；
  however；　you　will　be　speeding　ahead　in　your　command　of　the　language　as　you　keep
  returning　to　those　stubborn　fortresses　of　grammatical　resistance。
  I　can　honestly　say　I　came　to　like　the　study　of　grammar。　Once　you　finally　approach
  grammar　with　the　right　attitude；　it　becomes　both　a　map　that　shows　you　the　pathways
  through　a　language　and　a　rocket　that　takes　you　there　faster。
  A　paleontologist　can　find　lifetime　fascination　with　a　fossil　a　child　might　ignore；
  kick；　or　toss　into　the　la