第 11 节
作者:天马行空      更新:2021-02-21 14:56      字数:9322
  of spirit to him every time he came off; without which assistance he must
  infallibly have fainted。         He knows for a fact; that; after an arduous part;
  Mr。    George      Bennett    is  put   between      two   feather    beds;   to   absorb    the
  perspiration; and is credibly informed; that Mr。 Baker has; for many years;
  submitted   to   a   course     of   lukewarm   toast…and…water;         to  qualify   him   to
  sustain     his  favourite    characters。     He    looks    upon    Mr。   Fitz   Ball   as  the
  principal   dramatic   genius   and   poet   of   the   day;   but   holds   that   there   are
  great   writers   extant   besides   him;   …   in   proof   whereof   he   refers   you   to
  various dramas and melodramas recently produced; of which he takes in
  all the sixpenny and three…penny editions as fast as they appear。
  The   theatrical   young   gentleman   is   a   great   advocate   for   violence   of
  emotion and redundancy of action。                If a father has to curse a child upon
  the   stage;   he   likes   to   see   it   done   in   the   thorough…going   style;   with   no
  mistake about it:        to which end it is essential that the child should follow
  the father on her knees; and be knocked violently over on her face by the
  old gentleman as he goes into a small cottage; and shuts the door behind
  him。     He likes to see a blessing invoked upon the young lady; when the
  old   gentleman   repents;   with   equal   earnestness;   and   accompanied   by   the
  usual   conventional   forms;   which   consist   of   the   old   gentleman   looking
  anxiously   up      into   the  clouds;    as  if  to  see   whether     it  rains;  and   then
  spreading an imaginary tablecloth in the air over the young lady's head …
  soft    music    playing    all  the  while。     Upon     these;   and    other   points   of   a
  similar kind; the theatrical young gentleman is a great critic indeed。                      He
  is   likewise   very   acute   in   judging   of   natural   expressions   of   the   passions;
  and knows precisely the frown; wink; nod; or leer; which stands for any
  one of them; or the means by which it may be converted into any other:
  as   jealousy;    with    a  good    stamp    of   the  right   foot;   becomes      anger;   or
  wildness; with the hands clasped before the throat; instead of tearing the
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  wig; is passionate love。        If you venture to express a doubt of the accuracy
  of any of these   portraitures; the theatrical   young gentleman assures   you;
  with   a   haughty   smile;   that   it   always   has   been   done   in   that   way;   and   he
  supposes they are not going to change it at this time of day to please you;
  to which; of course; you meekly reply that you suppose not。
  There     are  innumerable      disquisitions     of  this  nature;    in  which    the
  theatrical young gentleman is very profound; especially to ladies whom he
  is most in the habit of entertaining with them; but as we have no space to
  recapitulate them at greater length; we must rest content with calling the
  attention of the young ladies in general to the theatrical young gentlemen
  of their own acquaintance。
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  SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
  THE POETICAL YOUNG
  GENTLEMAN
  Time   was;   and   not   very   long   ago   either;   when   a   singular   epidemic
  raged   among   the   young   gentlemen;   vast   numbers   of   whom;   under   the
  influence of the malady; tore off their neckerchiefs; turned down their shirt
  collars; and exhibited themselves in the open streets with bare throats and
  dejected   countenances;   before   the   eyes   of   an   astonished   public。     These
  were poetical young gentlemen。             The custom was gradually found to be
  inconvenient; as involving the necessity of too much clean linen and too
  large    washing     bills;  and   these   outward    symptoms      have    consequently
  passed     away;   but   we   are  disposed     to  think;  notwithstanding;      that  the
  number of poetical young gentlemen is considerably on the increase。
  We     know    a   poetical   young     gentleman     …  a  very    poetical   young
  gentleman。       We   do   not   mean   to   say  that he   is   troubled   with the gift   of
  poesy in any remarkable degree; but his countenance is of a plaintive and
  melancholy cast; his manner is abstracted and bespeaks affliction of soul:
  he   seldom   has   his   hair   cut;   and   often   talks   about   being   an   outcast   and
  wanting     a  kindred    spirit;  from   which;    as  well   as  from    many    general
  observations      in  which    he   is  wont    to  indulge;   concerning      mysterious
  impulses;     and   yearnings     of  the  heart;   and   the  supremacy      of  intellect
  gilding all earthly things with the glowing magic of immortal verse; it is
  clear to all his friends that he has been stricken poetical。
  The favourite attitude of the poetical young gentleman is lounging on a
  sofa with his eyes fixed upon the ceiling; or sitting bolt upright in a high…
  backed chair; staring with very round eyes at the opposite wall。                When he
  is in one of these positions; his mother; who is a worthy; affectionate old
  soul; will give you a nudge to bespeak your attention without disturbing
  the   abstracted   one;   and   whisper   with   a   shake   of   the   head;   that   John's
  imagination   is   at   some   extraordinary   work   or   other;   you   may   take   her
  word for it。 Hereupon John looks more fiercely intent upon vacancy than
  before; and suddenly snatching a pencil from his pocket; puts down three
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  words; and a cross on the back of a card; sighs deeply; paces once or twice
  across the room; inflicts a most unmerciful slap upon his head; and walks
  moodily up to his dormitory。
  The   poetical   young   gentleman   is   apt   to   acquire   peculiar   notions   of
  things     too;   which     plain   ordinary     people;     unblessed     with    a   poetical
  obliquity of vision; would suppose to be rather distorted。                     For instance;
  when      the  sickening     murder     and   mangling      of  a  wretched      woman      was
  affording   delicious   food   wherewithal   to   gorge   the  insatiable   curiosity  of
  the public; our friend the poetical young gentleman was in ecstasies … not
  of disgust; but admiration。 'Heavens!' cried the poetical young gentleman;
  'how grand; how great!'           We ventured deferentially to inquire upon whom
  these epithets were bestowed:             our humble thoughts oscillating between
  the police officer who found the criminal; and the lock…keeper who found
  the   head。    'Upon   whom!'   exclaimed   the   poetical   young   gentleman   in   a
  frenzy   of   poetry;   'Upon   whom   should   they   be   bestowed   but   upon   the
  murderer!' … and thereupon it came out; in a fine torrent of eloquence; that
  the murderer was a great spirit; a bold creature full of daring and nerve; a
  man of dauntless heart and determined courage; and withal a great casuist
  and     able    reasoner;    as   was    fully    demonstrated       in   his   philosophical
  colloquies with the great and noble of the land。                 We held our peace; and
  meekly   signified   our   indisposition   to   controvert   these   opinions   …   firstly;
  because we were no match at quotation for the poetical young gentleman;
  and secondly; because we felt it would be of little use our entering into any
  disputation;   if   we   were:     being   perfectly   convinced   that   the   respectable
  and   immoral   hero   in   question   is   not   the   first   and   will   not   be   the   last
  hanged gentleman   upon   whom false sympathy  or diseased curiosity  will
  be plentifully expended。
  This was a stern mystic flight of the poetical young gentleman。                     In his
  milder and softer moments he occasionally lays down his neckcloth; and
  pens stanzas; which sometimes find their way into a Lady's Magazine; or
  the   'Poets'   Corner'   of   some   country   newspaper;   or   which;   in   default   of
  either   vent   for   his   genius;   adorn   the   rainbow   leaves   of   a   lady's   album。
  These   are   generally  written   upon   some   such   occasions   as   contemplating
  the   Bank   of   England   by   midnight;   or   beholding   Saint   Paul's   in   a   snow…
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