第 10 节
作者:天马行空      更新:2021-02-21 14:56      字数:9322
  followed      it  were    all  over;   and   we   were    going    down     to  supper;    the
  inexhaustible  Mr。  Griggins   produced   a   small   sprig of   mistletoe  from  his
  waistcoat   pocket;      and   commenced        a  general    kissing   of  the   assembled
  females; which occasioned great commotion and much excitement。                            We
  observed that   several   young gentlemen …   including the   young   gentleman
  with   the   pale   countenance   …   were   greatly   scandalised   at   this   indecorous
  proceeding;   and   talked   very   big   among   themselves   in   corners;   and   we
  observed   too;   that   several   young   ladies   when   remonstrated   with   by   the
  aforesaid   young   gentlemen;   called   each   other   to   witness   how   they   had
  struggled;  and   protested vehemently  that   it   was   very  rude;  and that   they
  were surprised at Mrs。 Brown's allowing it; and that they couldn't bear it;
  and had no patience with such impertinence。                 But such is the gentle and
  forgiving nature of woman; that although we looked very narrowly for it;
  we could not detect the slightest harshness in the subsequent treatment of
  Mr。 Griggins。       Indeed; upon the whole; it struck us that among the ladies
  he seemed rather more popular than before!
  To recount all the drollery of Mr。 Griggins at supper; would fill such a
  tiny   volume   as   this;   to   the   very   bottom   of   the   outside   cover。 How   he
  drank out of other people's glasses; and ate of other people's bread; how he
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  frightened into screaming   convulsions a little  boy who was   sitting up   to
  supper     in   a  high    chair;   by   sinking    below     the  table   and    suddenly
  reappearing   with   a   mask   on;   how   the   hostess   was   really   surprised   that
  anybody  could   find   a   pleasure  in   tormenting  children;   and   how  the   host
  frowned at the hostess; and felt convinced that Mr。 Griggins had done it
  with    the   very   best  intentions;    how    Mr。   Griggins    explained;    and    how
  everybody's good…humour was restored but the child's; … to tell these and a
  hundred other things ever so briefly; would occupy more of our room and
  our    readers'   patience;   than   either   they   or  we   can   conveniently      spare。
  Therefore we change the subject; merely observing that we have offered
  no    description    of   the  funny    young     gentleman's     personal    appearance;
  believing that almost every society has a Griggins of its own; and leaving
  all    readers    to   supply    the    deficiency;    according      to   the   particular
  circumstances of their particular case。
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  SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
  THE THEATRICAL YOUNG
  GENTLEMAN
  All gentlemen who love the drama … and there are few gentlemen who
  are not attached to the most intellectual and rational of all our amusements
  …   do   not   come   within   this   definition。 As   we   have   no   mean   relish   for
  theatrical   entertainments   ourself;   we   are  disinterestedly  anxious   that   this
  should be perfectly understood。
  The   theatrical   young   gentleman   has   early   and   important   information
  on all theatrical topics。      'Well;' says he; abruptly; when you meet him in
  the street; 'here's a pretty to…do。       Flimkins has thrown up his part in the
  melodrama at the Surrey。' … 'And what's to be done?' you inquire with as
  much   gravity   as   you   can   counterfeit。   'Ah;   that's   the   point;'   replies   the
  theatrical    young    gentleman;     looking   very   serious;   'Boozle    declines   it;
  positively declines it。 From all I am told; I should say it was decidedly in
  Boozle's line; and that he would be very likely to make a great hit in it; but
  he objects on the ground of Flimkins having been put up in the part first;
  and says no earthly power shall induce him to take the character。                   It's a
  fine part; too … excellent business; I'm told。 He has to kill six people in the
  course of the piece; and to fight over a bridge in red fire; which is as safe a
  card; you know; as can be。         Don't mention it; but I hear that the last scene;
  when     he   is  first  poisoned;    and    then   stabbed;   by   Mrs。    Flimkins    as
  Vengedora; will be the greatest thing that has been done these many years。'
  With this piece of news; and laying his finger on his lips as a caution for
  you not to excite the town with it; the theatrical young gentleman hurries
  away。
  The  theatrical   young   gentleman;  from  often   frequenting the  different
  theatrical establishments; has pet and familiar names for them all。                 Thus
  Covent…Garden   is   the   garden;   Drury…Lane   the   lane;   the   Victoria   the   vic;
  and the Olympic the pic。          Actresses; too; are always designated by their
  surnames only; as Taylor; Nisbett; Faucit; Honey; that talented and lady…
  like girl Sheriff; that clever little creature Horton; and so on。           In the same
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  manner he prefixes Christian names when he mentions actors; as Charley
  Young; Jemmy Buckstone; Fred。 Yates; Paul  Bedford。                     When he is at   a
  loss for a Christian name; the word 'old' applied indiscriminately answers
  quite as well:      as old Charley Matthews at Vestris's; old Harley; and old
  Braham。       He     has   a  great   knowledge       of  the   private   proceedings      of
  actresses; especially of their getting married; and can tell you in a breath
  half…a…dozen       who     have    changed      their   names     without     avowing      it。
  Whenever an alteration of this kind is made in the playbills; he will remind
  you that he let you into the secret six months ago。
  The   theatrical   young   gentleman   has   a   great   reverence   for   all   that   is
  connected with the stage department of the different theatres。 He would; at
  any time; prefer going a street or two out of his way; to omitting to pass a
  stage…entrance; into which he always looks with a curious and searching
  eye。    If he can only identify a popular actor in the street; he is in a perfect
  transport of delight; and no sooner meets him; than he hurries back; and
  walks a few paces in front of him; so that he can turn round from time to
  time; and have a good stare at his features。              He looks upon a theatrical…
  fund   dinner   as   one   of   the   most   enchanting   festivities   ever   known;   and
  thinks that to be a member of the Garrick Club; and see so many actors in
  their plain clothes; must be one of the highest gratifications the world can
  bestow。
  The theatrical young gentleman is a constant half…price visitor at one
  or   other   of   the   theatres;   and   has   an   infinite   relish   for   all   pieces   which
  display the fullest resources of the establishment。 He likes to place implicit
  reliance upon the play…bills when he goes to see a show…piece; and works
  himself up to such a pitch of enthusiasm; as not only to believe (if the bills
  say so) that there are three hundred and seventy…five people on the stage at
  one   time   in   the   last   scene;   but   is   highly   indignant   with   you;   unless   you
  believe it also。      He considers that if the stage be opened from the foot…
  lights to the back wall; in any new play; the piece is a triumph of dramatic
  writing;   and   applauds   accordingly。       He   has   a   great   notion   of   trap…doors
  too; and thinks any character going down or coming up a trap (no matter
  whether he be an angel or a demon … they both do it occasionally) one of
  the most interesting feats in the whole range of scenic illusion。
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  Besides      these   acquirements;       he  has   several    veracious     accounts     to
  communicate         of  the   private    manners     and   customs     of   different   actors;
  which;  during   the pauses   of  a  quadrille;  he   usually  communicates   to his
  partner; or imparts to his neighbour at a supper table。                Thus he is advised;
  that   Mr。   Liston   always   had   a   footman   in   gorgeous   livery   waiting   at   the
  side…scene with a brandy bottle and tumbler; to administer half a pint or so
  of spirit to him every time he came off; without which assistance he must
  infallibly have fainted。         He knows for a