第 12 节
作者:天马行空      更新:2021-02-21 14:56      字数:9322
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  storm;   and   when   these   gloomy   objects   fail   to   afford   him   inspiration;   he
  pours forth his soul in a touching address to a violet; or a plaintive lament
  that he is no longer a child; but has gradually grown up。
  The   poetical   young   gentleman   is   fond   of   quoting   passages   from   his
  favourite authors; who are all of the gloomy and desponding school。 He
  has a great deal to say too about the world; and is much given to opining;
  especially if he has taken anything strong to drink; that there is nothing in
  it   worth   living   for。  He   gives   you   to   understand;   however;   that   for   the
  sake of society; he means to bear his part in the tiresome play; manfully
  resisting   the   gratification   of   his   own   strong   desire   to   make   a   premature
  exit; and consoles himself with the reflection; that immortality has some
  chosen nook for himself and the other great spirits whom earth has chafed
  and wearied。
  When the poetical young gentleman makes use of adjectives; they are
  all    superlatives。       Everything       is   of   the   grandest;     greatest;    noblest;
  mightiest;     loftiest;   or  the   lowest;   meanest;     obscurest;     vilest;  and    most
  pitiful。    He knows no medium:             for enthusiasm is the soul of poetry; and
  who so enthusiastic as a poetical young gentleman?                   'Mr。 Milkwash;' says
  a young lady as she unlocks her album to receive the young gentleman's
  original   impromptu   contribution;   'how   very  silent   you   are!          I   think   you
  must   be   in   love。'   'Love!'   cries   the   poetical   young   gentleman;   starting
  from  his   seat   by  the   fire   and   terrifying the   cat   who   scampers   off   at   full
  speed; 'Love! that burning; consuming passion; that ardour of the soul; that
  fierce  glowing   of  the   heart。      Love!      The  withering;  blighting   influence
  of   hope   misplaced   and   affection   slighted。       Love   did   you   say!     Ha!   ha!
  ha!'
  With this; the poetical young gentleman laughs a laugh belonging only
  to poets and Mr。 O。 Smith of the Adelphi Theatre; and sits down; pen in
  hand;   to   throw   off   a   page   or   two   of   verse   in   the   biting;   semi…atheistical
  demoniac style; which; like the poetical young gentleman himself; is full
  of sound and fury; signifying nothing。
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  SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
  THE 'THROWING…OFF' YOUNG
  GENTLEMAN
  There   is   a   certain   kind   of   impostor   …   a   bragging;   vaunting;   puffing
  young gentleman … against whom we are desirous to warn that fairer part
  of   the   creation;   to   whom   we   more   peculiarly   devote   these   our   labours。
  And we are particularly induced to lay especial stress upon this division of
  our   subject;   by   a   little   dialogue   we   held   some   short   time   ago;   with   an
  esteemed young lady of our acquaintance; touching a most gross specimen
  of this class of men。 We had been urging all the absurdities of his conduct
  and    conversation;     and   dwelling    upon    the  impossibilities    he   constantly
  recounted … to which indeed we had not scrupled to prefix a certain hard
  little word of one syllable and three letters … when our fair friend; unable to
  maintain the contest any longer; reluctantly cried; 'Well; he certainly has a
  habit of throwing…off; but then … '         What then?       Throw him off yourself;
  said    we。   And     so  she   did;  but  not   at  our  instance;   for  other   reasons
  appeared; and it might have been better if she had done so at first。
  The throwing…off young gentleman has so often a father possessed of
  vast property in some remote district of Ireland; that we look with some
  suspicion   upon   all   young   gentlemen   who   volunteer   this   description   of
  themselves。        The     deceased     grandfather     of   the   throwing…off     young
  gentleman   was   a   man   of   immense   possessions;   and   untold   wealth;   the
  throwing…off      young    gentleman     remembers;      as  well   as  if  it  were   only
  yesterday; the deceased baronet's library; with its long rows of scarce and
  valuable books in superbly embossed bindings; arranged in cases; reaching
  from the lofty ceiling to the oaken floor; and the fine antique chairs and
  tables;   and   the   noble   old  castle   of  Ballykillbabaloo;     with   its  splendid
  prospect   of hill   and   dale;  and   wood;  and   rich  wild scenery;  and   the   fine
  hunting stables and the spacious court…yards; 'and … and … everything upon
  the   same    magnificent      scale;'  says   the  throwing…off     young    gentleman;
  'princely;   quite   princely。    Ah!'    And   he   sighs   as   if   mourning   over   the
  fallen fortunes of his noble house。
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  The throwing…off young gentleman is a universal genius; at walking;
  running; rowing; swimming; and skating; he is unrivalled; at all games of
  chance or   skill;  at   hunting; shooting;   fishing;  riding;   driving; or   amateur
  theatricals; no one can touch him … that is COULD not; because he gives
  you carefully to understand; lest there should be any opportunity of testing
  his skill; that he is quite out of practice just now; and has been for some
  years。    If you mention any beautiful girl of your common acquaintance in
  his hearing; the throwing…off young gentleman starts; smiles; and begs you
  not to mind him; for it was quite involuntary:               people do say indeed that
  they were once engaged; but no … although she is a very fine girl; he was
  so situated at that time that he couldn't possibly encourage the … 'but it's of
  no use talking about it!' he adds; interrupting himself。               'She has got over
  it  now;    and   I  firmly   hope    and   trust  is  happy。'    With    this  benevolent
  aspiration he nods his head in a mysterious manner; and whistling the first
  part   of   some   popular   air;   thinks   perhaps   it   will   be   better   to   change   the
  subject。
  There     is  another     great   characteristic     of  the   throwing…off      young
  gentleman;      which     is;  that  he  'happens    to  be   acquainted'     with   a  most
  extraordinary   variety   of   people   in   all   parts   of   the   world。  Thus   in   all
  disputed      questions;    when     the  throwing…off      young     gentleman      has   no
  argument   to   bring   forward;  he   invariably  happens   to   be   acquainted   with
  some      distant   person;    intimately     connected      with   the   subject;    whose
  testimony decides the point against you; to the great … may we say it … to
  the great admiration of three young ladies out of every four; who consider
  the   throwing…off   young   gentleman   a   very   highly…connected   young   man;
  and a most charming person。
  Sometimes the throwing…off young gentleman happens to look in upon
  a little family circle of young ladies who are quietly spending the evening
  together; and then indeed is he at the very height and summit of his glory;
  for it is to be observed that he by no means shines to equal advantage in
  the   presence   of   men   as   in   the   society   of   over…credulous   young   ladies;
  which is his proper element。           It is delightful to hear the number of pretty
  things   the   throwing…off   young   gentleman   gives   utterance   to;   during   tea;
  and still more so to observe the ease with which; from long practice and
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  study; he delicately blends one compliment to a lady with two for himself。
  'Did you ever see a more lovely blue than this flower; Mr。 Caveton?' asks a
  young lady who; truth to tell; is rather smitten with the throwing…off young
  gentleman。       'Never;'   he   replies;   bending   over   the   object   of   admiration;
  'never but in your eyes。' 'Oh; Mr。 Caveton;' cries the young lady; blushing
  of    course。   'Indeed    I  speak    the   truth;'  replies   the  throwing…off      young
  gentleman;       'I  never  saw    any   approach     to  them。     I  used    to  think   my
  cousin's blue eyes lovely; but they grow dim and colourless beside yours。'
  'Oh!   a   beautiful   cousin;   Mr。   Caveton!'   replies   the   young   lady;   with   that
  perfect artlessness which is the distinguishing characteristic of all young
  ladies; 'an affair; o