第 6 节
作者:天马行空      更新:2021-02-21 14:56      字数:9320
  tremble a little!
  And     then;   at  the   Theatre    at  night;   when     the  performances       are   by
  command of Colonel Fitz…Sordust and the officers of the garrison … what a
  splendid   sight   it   is!   How   sternly   the   defenders   of   their   country   look
  round   the   house   as   if   in   mute   assurance   to   the   audience;   that   they   may
  make themselves comfortable regarding any foreign invasion; for they (the
  military young gentlemen) are keeping a sharp look…out; and are ready for
  anything。      And what a contrast between them; and that stage…box full of
  grey…headed   officers   with   tokens   of   many  battles   about   them;   who   have
  nothing at all in common with the military young gentlemen; and who …
  but for an old…fashioned kind of manly dignity in their looks and bearing …
  might be common hard…working soldiers for anything they take the pains
  to announce to the contrary!
  Ah!   here   is   a   family   just   come   in   who   recognise   the   flaxen…headed
  young      gentleman;      and   the   flaxen…headed       young    gentleman      recognises
  them too; only he doesn't care to show it just now。                Very well done indeed!
  He   talks   louder   to the   little   group of   military   young gentlemen   who   are
  standing by him; and coughs to induce some ladies in the next box but one
  to look   round; in   order   that   their   faces   may  undergo   the   same   ordeal   of
  criticism to which they have subjected; in not a wholly inaudible tone; the
  majority of the female portion of the audience。                  Oh! a gentleman in the
  same      box   looks    round    as   if  he   were    disposed     to   resent   this   as  an
  impertinence; and the flaxen…headed young gentleman sees his friends at
  21
  … Page 22…
  SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
  once; and hurries away to them with the most charming cordiality。
  Three   young   ladies;   one   young   man;   and   the   mamma   of   the   party;
  receive   the   military   young   gentleman   with   great   warmth   and   politeness;
  and in five   minutes afterwards the   military young gentleman;  stimulated
  by the   mamma; introduces the two other military  young gentlemen   with
  whom   he   was   walking   in   the   morning;   who   take   their   seats   behind   the
  young ladies and commence conversation; whereat the mamma bestows a
  triumphant bow upon a rival mamma; who has not succeeded in decoying
  any military young gentlemen; and prepares to consider her visitors from
  that   moment   three of   the   most   elegant   and superior   young   gentlemen   in
  the whole world。
  22
  … Page 23…
  SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
  THE POLITICAL YOUNG
  GENTLEMAN
  Once upon a time … NOT in the days when pigs drank wine; but in a
  more   recent   period   of   our   history   …   it   was   customary   to   banish   politics
  when ladies   were present。         If   this   usage   still prevailed;   we   should   have
  had    no   chapter   for   political  young     gentlemen;     for  ladies   would    have
  neither known nor cared what kind of monster a political young gentleman
  was。     But   as   this   good   custom   in   common   with   many   others   has   'gone
  out;' and left no word when it is likely to be home again; as political young
  ladies    are  by   no  means     rare;  and   political   young    gentlemen     the  very
  reverse     of  scarce;   we   are   bound    in  the   strict  discharge    of  our   most
  responsible duty not to neglect this natural division of our subject。
  If   the   political   young   gentleman   be   resident   in   a   country   town   (and
  there ARE political young gentlemen in country towns sometimes); he is
  wholly absorbed in his politics; as a pair of purple spectacles communicate
  the   same   uniform   tint   to   all   objects   near   and   remote;   so   the   political
  glasses; with which the young gentleman assists his mental vision; give to
  everything      the  hue    and   tinge   of  party   feeling。    The    political   young
  gentleman would as soon think of being struck with the beauty of a young
  lady in the opposite interest; as he would dream of marrying his sister to
  the opposite member。
  If   the   political   young   gentleman   be   a   Conservative;   he   has   usually
  some vague ideas about Ireland and the Pope which he cannot very clearly
  explain; but which he knows are the right sort of thing; and not to be very
  easily   got   over   by   the   other   side。 He   has   also   some   choice   sentences
  regarding   church   and   state;   culled   from   the   banners   in   use   at   the   last
  election;   with    which   he   intersperses   his   conversation      at   intervals   with
  surprising effect。      But his great topic is the constitution; upon which he
  will declaim; by the hour together; with much heat and fury; not that he
  has any particular information on the subject; but because he knows that
  the    constitution    is  somehow      church    and   state;   and   church    and   state
  23
  … Page 24…
  SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
  somehow the constitution; and that the fellows on the other side say it isn't;
  which is quite a sufficient reason for him to say it is; and to stick to it。
  Perhaps his greatest topic of all; though; is the people。               If a fight takes
  place   in   a   populous   town;   in   which   many   noses   are   broken;   and   a   few
  windows;       the   young     gentleman      throws     down     the   newspaper       with   a
  triumphant   air;   and   exclaims;   'Here's   your   precious   people!'          If   half…a…
  dozen boys run across the course at race time; when it ought to be kept
  clear;   the   young     gentleman      looks   indignantly   round;      and   begs    you   to
  observe      the  conduct     of  the   people;    if  the  gallery    demand     a  hornpipe
  between the play and the afterpiece; the same young gentleman cries 'No'
  and 'Shame' till he is hoarse; and then inquires with a sneer what you think
  of   popular   moderation   NOW;   in   short;   the   people   form   a   never…failing
  theme for him; and when the attorney; on the side of his candidate; dwells
  upon it with great power of eloquence at election time; as he never fails to
  do; the   young   gentleman   and   his   friends; and the   body  they  head;   cheer
  with great violence against THE OTHER PEOPLE; with whom; of course;
  they have no possible connexion。              In much the same manner the audience
  at a theatre never fail to be highly amused with any jokes at the expense of
  the public  …   always   laughing   heartily  at   some   other  public;   and never   at
  themselves。
  If   the   political   young   gentleman   be   a   Radical;   he   is   usually   a   very
  profound person indeed; having great store of theoretical questions to put
  to   you;   with   an   infinite   variety   of   possible   cases   and   logical   deductions
  therefrom。       If   he   be   of   the   utilitarian   school;   too;   which   is   more   than
  probable;   he     is  particularly   pleasant     company;      having     many   ingenious
  remarks      to   offer   upon    the   voluntary      principle    and    various    cheerful
  disquisitions connected with the population of the country; the position of
  Great Britain in the scale of nations; and the balance of power。                     Then he
  is   exceedingly   well   versed   in   all   doctrines   of   political   economy   as   laid
  down in the newspapers; and knows a great many parliamentary speeches
  by heart; nay; he has a small stock of aphorisms; none of them exceeding a
  couple of lines in length; which will settle the toughest question and leave
  you   nothing   to   say。    He   gives   all   the   young   ladies   to   understand;   that
  Miss   Martineau   is   the   greatest   woman   that   ever   lived;   and   when   they
  24
  … Page 25…
  SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
  praise the good looks of Mr。 Hawkins the new member; says he's very well
  for a representative; all things considered; but he wants a little calling to
  account; and he is more than half afraid it will be necessary to bring him
  down on his knees for that vote on the miscellaneous estimates。                     At this;
  the young ladies express much wonderment; and say surely a Member of
  Parliament is not to be brought upon his knees so easily; in reply to which