第 24 节
作者:童舟      更新:2021-02-20 15:23      字数:9322
  317。  Now as Satan laboured by reproaches and slanders; to make me  vile among my countrymen; that; if possible; my preaching might be  made of none effect; so there was added hereto; a long and tedious  imprisonment; that thereby I might be frightened from my service  for Christ; and the world terrified; and made afraid to hear me  preach; of which I shall in the next place give you a brief  account。
  A BRIEF ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR'S IMPRISONMENT
  318。  Having made profession of the glorious gospel of Christ a  long time; and preached the same about five years; I was  apprehended at a meeting of good people in the country (among whom;  had they let me alone; I should have preached that day; but they  took me away from amongst them); and had me before a justice; who;  after I had offered security for my appearing at the next sessions;  yet committed me; because my sureties would not consent to be bound  that I should preach no more to the people。
  319。  At the sessions after I was indicted for an upholder and  maintainer of unlawful assemblies and conventicles; and for not  conforming to the national worship of the church of ENGLAND; and  after some conference there with the justices; they taking my plain  dealing with them for a confession; as they termed it; OF THE  INDICTMENT; DID SENTENCE ME TO A PERPETUAL BANISHMENT; BECAUSE I  REFUSED TO CONFORM。  So being again delivered up to the jailer's  hands; I was had home to prison; and there have lain now complete  twelve years; waiting to see what God would suffer these men to do  with me。
  320。  In which condition I have continued with much content;  through grace; but have met with many turnings and goings upon my  heart; both from the Lord; Satan; and my own corruptions; by all  which (glory be to Jesus Christ) I have also received among many  things; much conviction; instruction; and understanding; of which  at large I shall not here discourse; only give you a hint or two; a  word that may stir up the godly to bless God; and to pray for me;  and also to take encouragement; should the case be their own … NOT  TO FEAR WHAT MAN CAN DO UNTO THEM。
  321。  I never had in all my life so great an inlet into the word of  God as now:  those scriptures that I saw nothing in before; are  made in this place and state to shine upon me; Jesus Christ also  was never more real and apparent than now; here I have seen and  felt Him indeed:  Oh! that word; WE HAVE NOT PREACHED UNTO YOU  CUNNINGLY DEVISED FABLES; 2 Pet。 i。 16; and that; GOD RAISED CHRIST  FROM THE DEAD; AND GAVE HIM GLORY; THAT OUR FAITH AND HOPE MIGHT BE  IN GOD 1 Pet。 i。 21; were blessed words unto me in this my  imprisoned condition。
  322。  These three or four scriptures also have been great  refreshments in this condition to me:  John xiv。 1…4; John xvi。 33;  Col。 iii。 3; 4; Heb。 xii。 22…24。  So that sometimes when I have  been in the savour of them; I have been able to laugh at  destruction; AND TO FEAR NEITHER THE HORSE NOR HIS RIDER。  I have  had sweet sights of the forgiveness of my sins in this place; and  of my being with Jesus in another world:  OH! THE MOUNT SION; THE  HEAVENLY JERUSALEM; THE INNUMERABLE COMPANY OF ANGELS; AND GOD THE  JUDGE OF ALL; AND THE SPIRITS OF JUST MEN MADE PERFECT; AND JESUS;  have been sweet unto me in this place:  I have seen that here; that  I am persuaded I shall never; while in this world; be able to  express:  I have seen a truth in this scripture; WHOM HAVING NOT  SEEN; YE LOVE; IN WHOM; THOUGH NOW YOU SEE HIM NOT; YET BELIEVING;  YE REJOICE WITH JOY UNSPEAKABLE; AND FULL OF GLORY。  1 Pet。 i。 8。
  323。  I never knew what it was for God to stand by me at all turns;  and at every offer of Satan to afflict me; etc。; as I have found  Him since I came in hither:  for look how fears have presented  themselves; so have supports and encouragements; yea; when I have  started; even as it were; at nothing else but my shadow; yet God;  as being very tender of me; hath not suffered me to be molested;  but would with one scripture or another; strengthen me against all;  insomuch that I have often said; WERE IT LAWFUL; I COULD PRAY FOR  GREATER TROUBLE; FOR THE GREATER COMFORT'S SAKE。  Eccl。 vii。 14; 2  Cor。 i。 5。
  324。  Before I came to prison; I saw what was coming; and had  especially two considerations warm upon my heart; the first was;  how to be able to encounter death; should that be here my portion。   For the first of these; that scripture; Col。 i。 11; was great  information to me; namely; to pray to God TO BE STRENGTHENED WITH  ALL MIGHT; ACCORDING TO HIS GLORIOUS POWER; UNTO ALL PATIENCE AND  LONG…SUFFERING WITH JOYFULNESS。  I could seldom go to prayer before  I was imprisoned; but for not so little as a year together; this  sentence; or sweet petition would; as it were; thrust itself into  my mind; and persuade me; that if ever I would go through long… suffering; I must have all patience; especially if I would endure  it joyfully。
  325。  As to the second consideration; that saying  (2 Cor。 i。 9)  was of great use to me; BUT WE HAD THE SENTENCE OF DEATH IN  OURSELVES; THAT WE SHOULD NOT TRUST IN OURSELVES; BUT IN GOD; WHICH  RAISETH THE DEAD。  By this scripture I was made to see; That if  ever I would suffer rightly; I must first pass a sentence of death  upon every thing that can properly be called a thing of this life;  even to reckon myself; my wife; my children; my health; my  enjoyments; and all as dead to me; and myself as dead to them。
  326。  The second was to live upon God that is invisible; as Paul  said in another place; the way not to faint is; TO LOOK NOT ON THE  THINGS THAT ARE SEEN; BUT AT THE THINGS THAT ARE NOT SEEN; FOR THE  THINGS THAT ARE SEEN ARE TEMPORAL; BUT THE THINGS THAT ARE NOT SEEN  ARE ETERNAL。  And thus I reasoned with myself; if I provide only  for a prison; then the whip comes at unawares; and so doth also the  pillory:  Again; if I only provide for these; then I am not fit for  banishment。  Further; if I conclude that banishment is the worst;  then if death comes; I am surprised:  so that I see; the best way  to go through sufferings; is to trust in God through Christ; as  touching the world to come; and as touching this world; TO COUNT  THE GRAVE MY HOUSE; TO MAKE MY BED IN DARKNESS; TO SAY TO  CORRUPTION; THOU ART MY FATHER; AND TO THE WORM; THOU ART MY MOTHER  AND SISTER:  that is; to familiarize these things to me。
  327。  But notwithstanding these helps; I found myself a man and  compassed with infirmities; the parting with my wife and poor  children; hath often been to me in this place; as the pulling the  flesh from the bones; and that not only because I am somewhat too  fond of these great mercies; but also because I should have often  brought to my mind the many hardships; miseries; and wants that my  poor family was like to meet with; should I be taken from them;  especially my poor blind child; who lay nearer my heart than all  besides:  Oh! the thoughts of the hardship I thought my poor blind  one might go under; would break my heart to pieces。
  328。  Poor child! thought I; what sorrow art thou like to have for  thy portion in this world!  Thou must be beaten; must beg; suffer  hunger; cold; nakedness; and a thousand calamities; though I cannot  now endure the wind should blow upon thee。  But yet recalling  myself; thought I; I must venture you all with God; though it goeth  to the quick to leave you:  Oh! I saw in this condition I was as a  man who was pulling down his house upon the head of his wife and  children; yet; thought I; I must do it; I must do it:  and now I  thought on those TWO MILCH KINE THAT WERE TO CARRY THE ARK OF GOD  INTO ANOTHER COUNTRY; AND TO LEAVE THEIR CALVES BEHIND THEM。  1  Sam。 vi。 10…12。
  329。  But that which helped me in this temptation; was divers  considerations; of which; three in special here I will name; the  first was the consideration of these two scriptures; LEAVE THY  FATHERLESS CHILDREN; I WILL PRESERVE THEM ALIVE; AND LET THY WIDOWS  TRUST IN ME:  and again; THE LORD SAID; VERILY IT SHALL BE WELL  WITH THY REMNANT; VERILY; I WILL CAUSE THE ENEMY TO ENTREAT THEE  WELL IN THE TIME OF EVIL; AND IN TIME OF AFFLICTION。  Jer。 xlix。  11; xv。 11。
  330。  I had also this consideration; that if I should not venture  all for God; I engaged God to take care of my concernments:  but if  I forsook Him and His ways; for fear of any trouble that should  come to me or mine; then I should not only falsify my profession;  but should count also that my concernments were not so sure; if  left at God's feet; whilst I stood to and for His name; as they  would be if they were under my own care; though with the denial of  the way of God。  This was a smarting consideration; and as spurs  unto my flesh。  That scripture also greatly helped it to fasten the  more upon me; where Christ prays against Judas; that God would  disappoint him in his selfish thoughts; which moved him to sell his  Master。  Pray read it soberly:  Psalm cix。 6…8; etc。
  331。  I had also another consideration; and that was; the dread of  the torments of hell; which I was sure they must partake of that  for fear of the cross; do shrink from their profession of Christ;  His words and laws before the sons of men:  I thought also of the  glory that