第 23 节
作者:童舟      更新:2021-02-20 15:23      字数:9322
  298。  A tinkling cymbal is an instrument of music; with which a  skilful player can make such melodious and heart…inflaming music;  that all who hear him play; can scarcely hold from dancing; and yet  behold the cymbal hath not life; neither comes the music from it;  but because of the art of him that plays therewith; so then the  instrument at last may come to nought and perish; though in times  past such music hath been made upon it。
  299。  Just thus I saw it was; and will be; with them who have  gifts; but want saving grace; they are in the hand of Christ; as  the cymbal in the hand of DAVID:  and as DAVID could with the  cymbal make that mirth in the service of God; as to elevate the  hearts of the worshippers; so Christ can use these gifted men; as  with them to affect the souls of His people in His church; yet when  He hath done all; hang them by; as lifeless; though sounding  cymbals。
  300。  This consideration therefore; together with some others; were  for the most part; as a maul on the head of pride; and desire of  vain…glory。  What; thought I; shall I be proud because I am a  sounding brass?  Is it so much to be a fiddle? hath not the least  creature that hath life; more of God in it than these?  Besides; I  knew 'twas love should never die; but these must cease and vanish:   so I concluded; a  little grace; a little love; a little of the  true fear of God; is better than all the gifts:  yea; and I am  fully convinced of it; that it is possible for souls that can  scarce give a man an answer; but with great confusion as to method;  I say; it is possible for them to have a thousand times more grace;  and so to be more in the love and favour of the Lord; than some who  by the virtue of the gift of knowledge; can deliver themselves like  angels。
  301。  Thus therefore I came to perceive that; though gifts in  themselves were good; to the thing for which they are designed; to  wit; the edification of others; yet empty; and without power to  save the soul of him that hath them; if they be ALONE:  neither are  they; as so; any sign of a man's state to be happy; being only a  dispensation of God to some; of whose improvement; or non… improvement; they must when a little love more is over; give an  account to Him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead。
  302。  This showed me too; that gifts being alone; were dangerous;  not in themselves; but because of those evils that attend them that  have them; to wit; pride; desire of vain glory; self…conceit; etc。;  all which were easily blown up at the applause and commendation of  every unadvised Christian; to the endangering of a poor creature to  fall into the condemnation of the devil。
  303。  I saw therefore that he that hath gifts; had need be let into  a sight of the nature of them; to wit; that they come short of  making of him to be in a truly saved condition; lest he rest in  them; and so fall short of the grace of God。
  304。  He hath cause also to walk humbly with God and be little in  his own eyes; and to remember withal; that his gifts are not his  own; but the churches; and that by them he is made a servant to the  church; and he must also give at last an account of his stewardship  unto the Lord Jesus; and to give a good account will be a blessed  thing。
  305。  Let all men therefore prize a little with the fear of the  Lord (gifts indeed are desirable); but yet great grace and small  gifts are better than great gifts and no grace。  It doth not say;  the Lord gives gifts and glory; but the Lord gives grace and glory;  and blessed is such an one; to whom the Lord gives grace; true  grace; for that is a certain forerunner of glory。
  306。  But when Satan perceived that his thus tempting and  assaulting of me; would not answer his design; to wit; to overthrow  the ministry; and make it ineffectual; as to the ends thereof:   then he tried another way; which was; to stir up the minds of the  ignorant and malicious to load me with slanders and reproaches:   now therefore I may say; that what the devil could devise; and his  instruments invent; was whirled up and down the country against me;  thinking; as I said; that by that means they should make my  ministry to be abandoned。
  307。  It began therefore to be rumoured up and down among the  people; that I was a witch; a Jesuit; a highwayman; and the like。
  308。  To all which; I shall only say; God knows that I am  innocent。  But as for mine accusers; let them provide themselves to  meet me before the tribunal of the Son of God; there to answer for  all these things (with all the rest of their iniquities) unless God  shall give them repentance for them; for the which I pray with all  my heart。
  309。  But that which was reported with the boldest confidence; was;  that I had my MISSES; my WHORES; my BASTARDS; yea; TWO WIVES at  once; and the like。   Now these slanders (with the others) I glory  in; because but slanders; foolish or knavish lies; and falsehoods  cast upon me by the devil and his seed; and; should I not be dealt  with thus wickedly by the world; I should want one sign of a saint;  and a child of God。  BLESSED ARE YE (said the Lord Jesus) WHEN MEN  SHALL REVILE YOU AND PERSECUTE YOU; AND SHALL SAY ALL MANNER OF  EVIL AGAINST YOU FALSELY FOR MY SAKE; REJOICE AND BE EXCEEDING  GLAD; FOR GREAT IS YOUR REWARD IN HEAVEN; FOR SO PERSECUTED THEY  THE PROPHETS WHICH WERE BEFORE YOU。  Matt。 iv。 11。
  310。  These things therefore; upon mine own account; trouble me  not; no; though they were twenty times more than they are。  I have  a good conscience; and whereas they speak evil of me; as an evil… doer; they shall be ashamed that falsely accuse my good  conversation in Christ。
  311。  So then; what shall I say to those who have thus bespattered  me?  Shall I threaten them?  Shall I chide them?  Shall I flatter  them?  Shall I entreat them to hold their tongues?  No; not I。   Were it not for that these things make them ripe for damnation;  that are the authors and abettors; I would say unto them; REPORT  IT; because 'twill increase my glory。
  312。  Therefore I bind these lies and slanders to me as an  ornament; it belongs to my Christian profession to be vilified;  slandered; reproached and reviled; and since all this is nothing  else; as my God and my conscience do bear me witness; I rejoice in  reproaches for Christ's sake。
  313。  I also call all these fools or knaves; that have thus made it  any thing of their business to affirm any of the things afore…named  of me; namely; That I have been naught with other women; or the  like。  When they have used the utmost of their endeavours; and made  the fullest inquiry that they can; to prove against me truly; that  there is any woman in heaven; or earth; or hell; that can say; I  have at any time; in any place; by day or night; so much as  attempted to be naught with them; and speak I thus to beg my  enemies into a good esteem of me?  No; not I:  I will in this beg  belief of no man:  believe or disbelieve me in this; all is a…case  to me。
  314。  My foes have missed their mark in this shooting at me:  I am  not the man:  I wish that they themselves be guiltless。  If all the  fornicators and adulterers in ENGLAND were hanged up by the neck  till they be dead; JOHN BUNYAN; the object of their envy; would be  still alive and well。  I know not whether there be such a thing as  a woman breathing under the copes of the whole heaven; but by their  apparel; their children; or by common fame; except my wife。
  315。  And in this I admire the wisdom of God; that He made me shy  of women from my first conversion until now。  Those shy of women  know; and can also bear me witness; with whom I have been most  intimately concerned; that it is a rare thing to see me carry it  pleasant towards a woman:  the common salutation of women I abhor;  'tis odious to me in whomsoever I see it。  Their company alone; I  cannot away with; I seldom so much as touch a woman's hand; for I  think these things are not so becoming me。  When I have seen good  men salute those women that they have visited; or that have visited  them; I have at times made my objection against it; and when they  have answered; that it was but a piece of civility; I have told  them; it is not a comely sight。  Some indeed have urged the holy  kiss; but then I have asked why they made baulks? why they did  salute the most handsome; and let the ill…favoured go?  Thus; how  laudable soever such things have been in the eyes of others; they  have been unseemly in my sight。
  316。  And now for a wind…up in this matter; I calling not only men;  but angels; to prove me guilty of having carnally to do with any  woman save my wife:  nor am I afraid to do it a second time;  knowing that it cannot offend the Lord in such a case; to call God  for a record upon my soul; that in these things I am innocent。  Not  that I have been thus kept; because of any goodness in me; more  than any other; but God has been merciful to me; and has kept me;  to whom I pray that He will keep me still; not only from this; but  every evil way and work; and preserve me to His heavenly kingdom。   AMEN。
  317。  Now as Satan laboured by reproaches and slanders; to make me  vile among my countrymen; that; if possible; my preaching might be  made of none