eated；　I　consented　　to　their　request；　and　did　twice　at　two　several　assemblies　（but　in　　private）；　though　with　much　weakness　and　infirmity；　discover　my　gift　　amongst　them；　at　which　they　not　only　seemed　to　be；　but　did　solemnly　　protest；　as　in　the　sight　of　the　great　God；　they　were　both　affected　　and　comforted；　and　gave　thanks　to　the　Father　of　mercies；　for　the　　grace　bestowed　on　me。
  267。　　After　this；　sometimes；　when　some　of　them　did　go　into　the　　country　to　teach；　they　would　also　that　I　should　go　with　them；　　where；　though　as　yet；　I　did　not　nor　durst　not；　make　use　of　my　gift　　in　an　open　way；　yet　more　privately；　still；　as　I　came　amongst　the　　good　people　in　those　places；　I　did　sometimes　speak　a　word　of　　admonition　unto　them　also；　the　which　they；　as　the　other；　received　　with　rejoicing　at　the　mercy　of　God　to　me…ward；　professing　their　　souls　were　edified　thereby。
  268。　　Wherefore；　to　be　brief；　at　last；　being　still　desired　by　the　　church；　after　some　solemn　prayer　to　the　Lord；　with　fasting；　I　was　　more　particularly　called　forth；　and　appointed　to　a　more　ordinary　　and　public　preaching　of　the　word；　not　only　to　and　amongst　them　that　　believed；　but　also　to　offer　the　gospel　to　those　who　had　not　yet　　received　the　faith　thereof；　about　which　time　I　did　evidently　find　　in　my　mind　a　secret　pricking　forward　thereto；　though　I　bless　God；　　not　for　desire　of　vain…glory；　for　at　that　time　I　was　most　sorely　　afflicted　with　the　fiery　darts　of　the　devil；　concerning　my　eternal　　state。
  269。　　But　yet　could　not　be　content；　unless　I　was　found　in　the　　exercise　of　my　gift；　unto　which　also　I　was　greatly　animated；　not　　only　by　the　continual　desires　of　the　godly；　but　also　by　that　saying　　of　PAUL　to　the　CORINTHIANS：　　I　BESEECH　YOU；　BRETHREN　（YE　KNOW　THE　　HOUSEHOLD　OF　STEPHANAS；　THAT　IT　IS　THE　FIRST　FRUITS　OF　ACHAIA；　AND　　THAT　THEY　HAVE　ADDICTED　THEMSELVES　TO　THE　MINISTRY　OF　THE　SAINTS）　　THAT　YE　SUBMIT　YOURSELVES　UNTO　SUCH；　AND　TO　EVERY　ONE　THAT　HELPETH　　WITH　US；　AND　LABOURETH。　　1　Cor。　xvi。　15；　16。
  270。　　　By　this　text　I　was　made　to　see　that　the　Holy　Ghost　never　　intended　that　men　who　have　gifts　and　abilities；　should　bury　them　in　　the　earth；　but　rather　did　command　and　stir　up　such　to　the　exercise　　of　their　gift；　and　also　did　commend　those　that　were　apt　and　ready　　so　to　do。　　THEY　HAVE　ADDICTED　THEMSELVES　TO　THE　MINISTRY　OF　THE　　SAINTS。　　This　scripture；　in　these　days；　did　continually　run　in　my　　mind；　to　encourage　me；　and　strengthen　me　in　this　my　work　for　God；　I　　have　also　been　encouraged　from　several　other　scriptures　and　　examples　of　the　godly；　both　specified　in　the　word；　and　other　　ancient　histories：　　ACTS　viii。　4　and　xviii。　24；　25；　etc。；　1　PET。　　iv。　10；　ROM。　xii。　6；　FOX'S　ACTS　and　MON。
  271。　　Wherefore；　though　of　myself　of　all　the　saints　the　most　　unworthy；　yet　I；　but　with　great　fear　and　trembling　at　the　sight　of　　my　own　weakness；　did　set　upon　the　work；　and　did　according　to　my　　gift；　and　the　proportion　of　my　faith；　preach　that　blessed　gospel　　that　God　had　showed　me　in　the　holy　word　of　truth：　　which　when　the　　country　understood；　they　came　in　to　hear　the　word　by　hundreds；　and　　that　from　all　parts；　though　upon　sundry　and　divers　accounts。
  272。　　And　I　thank　God；　He　gave　unto　me　some　measure　of　bowels　and　　pity　for　their　souls；　which　also　did　put　me　forward　to　labour；　with　　great　diligence　and　earnestness；　to　find　out　such　a　word　as　might；　　if　God　would　bless；　lay　hold　of；　and　awaken　the　conscience；　in　　which　also　the　good　Lord　had　respect　to　the　desire　of　His　servant；　　for　I　had　not　preached　long；　before　some　began　to　be　touched；　and　　be　greatly　afflicted　in　their　minds　at　the　apprehension　of　the　　greatness　of　their　sin；　and　of　their　need　of　Jesus　Christ。
  273。　　But　I　first　could　not　believe　that　God　should　speak　by　me　to　　the　heart　of　any　man；　still　counting　myself　unworthy；　yet　those　who　　thus　were　touched；　would　love　me　and　have　a　particular　respect　for　　me；　and　though　I　did　put　it　from　me；　that　they　should　be　awakened　　by　me；　still　they　would　confess　it；　and　affirm　it　before　the　saints　　of　God：　　they　would　also　bless　God　for　me　（unworthy　wretch　that　I　　am！）　and　count　me　God's　instrument　that　showed　to　them　the　way　of　　salvation。
  274。　　Wherefore　seeing　them　in　both　their　words　and　deeds　to　be　so　　constant；　and　also　in　their　hearts　so　earnestly　pressing　after　the　　knowledge　of　Jesus　Christ；　rejoicing　that　ever　God　did　send　me　　where　they　were；　then　I　began　to　conclude　it　might　be　so；　that　God　　had　owned　in　His　work　such　a　foolish　one　as　I；　and　then　came　that　　word　of　God　to　my　heart；　with　much　sweet　refreshment；　THE　BLESSING　　OF　HIM　THAT　WAS　READY　TO　PERISH；　IS　COME　UPON　ME；　AND　I　CAUSED　THE　　WIDOW'S　HEART　TO　SING　FOR　JOY。　　Job　xxix。　13。
  275。　　At　this　therefore　I　rejoiced；　yea；　the　tears　of　those　whom　　God　did　awaken　by　my　preaching；　would　be　both　solace　and　　encouragement　to　me：　　for　I　thought　on　those　sayings；　WHO　IS　HE　　THEN　THAT　MAKETH　ME　GLAD；　BUT　THE　SAME　WHICH　IS　MADE　SORRY　BY　ME？　　　2　Cor。　ii。　2。　　And　again；　IF　I　BE　NOT　AN　APOSTLE　TO　OTHERS；　YET　　DOUBTLESS；　I　AM　UNTO　YOU：　　FOR　THE　SEAL　OF　MINE　APOSTLESHIP　ARE　YE　　IN　THE　LORD。　　1　Cor。　ix。　2。　　These　things；　therefore；　were　as　　another　argument　unto　me；　that　God　had　called　me　to；　and　stood　by　　me　in　this　work。
  276。　　In　my　preaching　of　the　word；　I　took　special　notice　of　this　　one　thing；　namely；　that　the　Lord　did　lead　me　to　begin　where　His　　word　begins　with　sinners；　that　is；　to　condemn　all　flesh；　and　to　　open　and　allege；　that　the　curse　of　God　by　the　law；　doth　belong　to；　　and　lay　hold　on　all　men　as　they　come　into　the　world；　because　of　　sin。　　Now　this　part　of　my　work　I　fulfilled　with　great　sense；　for　　the　terrors　of　the　law；　and　guilt　for　my　transgressions；　lay　heavy　　on　my　conscience：　　I　preached　what　I　felt；　what　I　smartingly　did　　feel；　even　that　under　which　my　poor　soul　did　groan　and　tremble　to　　astonishment。
  277。　　Indeed；　I　have　been　as　one　sent　to　them　from　the　dead；　I　went　　myself　in　chains；　to　preach　to　them　in　chains；　and　carried　that　　fire　in　my　own　conscience；　that　I　persuaded　them　to　be　aware　of。　　I　　can　truly　say；　and　that　without　dissembling；　that　when　I　have　been　　to　preach；　I　have　gone　full　of　guilt　and　terror；　even　to　the　pulpit　　door；　and　there　it　hath　been　taken　off；　and　I　have　been　at　liberty　　in　my　mind　until　I　have　done　my　work；　and　then　immediately；　even　　before　I　could　get　down　the　pulpit　stairs；　I　have　been　as　bad　as　I　　was　before；　yet　God　carried　me　on；　but　surely　with　a　strong　hand；　　for　neither　guilt　nor　hell　could　take　me　off　my　work。
  278。　　Thus　I　went　on　for　the　space　of　two　years；　crying　out　against　　men's　sins；　and　their　fearful　state　because　of　them。　　After　which；　　the　Lord　came　in　upon　my　own　soul；　with　some　staid　peace　and　　comfort　through　Christ；　for　He　did　give　me　many　sweet　discoveries　　of　His　blessed　grace　through　Him；　wherefore　now　I　altered　in　my　　preaching　（for　still　I　preached　what　I　saw　and　felt）；　now　therefore　　I　did　much　labour　to　hold　forth　Jesus　Christ　in　all　His　offices；　　relations；　and　benefits　unto　the　world；　and　did　strive　also　to　　discover；　to　condemn；　and　remove　those　false　supports　and　props　on　　which　the　world　doth　both　lean；　and　by　them　fall　and　perish。　　On　　these　things　also　I　staid　as　long　as　on　the　other。
  279。　　After　this；　God　led　me　into　something　of　the　mystery　of　the　　union　of　Christ；　wherefore　that　I　discovered　and　showed　to　them　　also。　　And；　when　I　had　travelled　through　these　three　chief　points　　of　the　word　of　God；　about　the　space　of　five　years　or　more；　I　was　　caught　in　my　present　practice；　and　cast　into　prison；　where　I　have　　lain　above　as　long　again　to　confirm　the　truth　by　way　of　suffering；　　as　I　was　before　in　testifying　of　it　according　to　the　scriptures；　in　　a　way　of　preaching。
  280。　　When　I　have　been　in　preaching；　I　thank　God　my　heart　hath　　often　all　the　time　of　this　and　the　other　exercise；　with　great　　earnestness　cried　to　God　that　He　would　make　the　word　effectual　to　　the　salvation　of　the　soul；　still　being　grieved　lest　the　enemy　　should　take　the　word　away　from　the　conscience；　and　so　it　should　　become　unfruitful：　　wherefore　I　should　labour　to　speak　the　word；　as　　that　thereby；　if　it　were　possible；　the　sin　and　person　guilty　might　　be　particularized　by　it。
  281。　　And　when　I　have　done　the　exercise；　it　hath　gone　to　my　heart；　　to　think　the　word　should　now　fall　as　rain　on　stony　places；　still　　wishing　from　my　heart；　Oh！　that　they　who　have　heard　me　speak　this　　day；　did　but　see　as　I　do；　what　sin；　death；　hell；　and　the　curse　of　　God　is；　and　also　what　the　grace；　and　love；　and　mercy　of　God　is；　　through　Christ；　to　men　in　such　a　case　as　they　are；　who　are　yet　　estranged　from　Him。　　And　indeed；　I　did　often　say　in　my　heart　before　　the　Lord；　THAT　IF　TO　BE　HANGED　UP　PRESENTLY　BEFORE　THEIR　EYES；　　WOULD　BE　A　MEANS　TO　AWAKEN　THEM；　AND　CONFIRM　THEM　IN　THE　TRUTH；　I　　GLADLY　SHOULD　BE　CONTENTED。
  282。　　For　I　have　been　in　my　preaching；　especially　when　I　have　been　　engaged　in　the　doctrine　of　life　by　Christ；　without　works；　as　if　an　　angel　of　God　had　stood　by　at　my　back　to　encourage　me：　　Oh！　it　hath　　been　with　such　power　and　heavenly　evidence　upon　my　own　soul；　while　　I　have　been　labouring　to　unfold　it；　to　demonstrate　it；　and　to　　fasten　it　upon　the　conscience　of　others；　that　I　could　not　be　　contented　with　saying；　I　BELIEVE；　AND　AM　SURE；　methought　I　was　more　　than　su