or　four　poor　women　sitting　at　a　　door；　in　the　sun；　talking　about　the　things　of　God；　and　being　now　　willing　to　hear　them　discourse；　I　drew　near　to　hear　what　they　said；　　for　I　was　now　a　brisk　talker　also　myself；　in　the　matters　of　　religion；　but　I　may　say；　I　HEARD　BUT　UNDERSTOOD　NOT；　for　they　were　　far　above；　out　of　my　reach。　　Their　talk　was　about　a　new　birth；　the　　work　of　God　on　their　hearts；　also　how　they　were　convinced　of　their　　miserable　state　by　nature；　they　talked　how　God　had　visited　their　　souls　with　His　love　in　the　Lord　Jesus；　and　with　what　words　and　　promises　they　had　been　refreshed；　comforted；　and　supported；　against　　the　temptations　of　the　devil：　　moreover；　they　reasoned　of　the　　suggestions　and　temptations　of　Satan　in　particular；　and　told　to　　each　other；　by　which　they　had　been　afflicted　and　how　they　were　　borne　up　under　his　assaults。　　They　also　discoursed　of　their　own　　wretchedness　of　heart；　and　of　their　unbelief；　and　did　contemn；　　slight　and　abhor　their　own　righteousness；　as　filthy；　and　　insufficient　to　do　them　any　good。
  38。　　And；　methought；　they　spake　as　if　joy　did　make　them　speak；　they　　spake　with　such　pleasantness　of　scripture　language；　and　with　such　　appearance　of　grace　in　all　they　said；　that　they　were　to　me；　as　if　　they　had　found　a　new　world；　as　if　they　were　PEOPLE　THAT　DWELT　　ALONE；　AND　WERE　NOT　TO　BE　RECKONED　AMONG　THEIR　NEIGHBOURS。　　Numb。　　xxiii。　9。
  39。　　At　this　I　felt　my　own　heart　began　to　shake；　and　mistrust　my　　condition　to　be　naught；　for　I　saw　that　in　all　my　thoughts　about　　religion　and　salvation；　the　new…birth　did　never　enter　into　my　mind；　　neither　knew　I　the　comfort　of　the　word　and　promise；　nor　the　　deceitfulness　and　treachery　of　my　own　wicked　heart。　　As　for　secret　　thoughts；　I　took　no　notice　of　them；　neither　did　I　understand　what　　Satan's　temptations　were；　nor　how　they　were　to　be　withstood；　and　　resisted；　etc。
  40。　　Thus；　therefore；　when　I　had　heard　and　considered　what　they　　said；　I　left　them；　and　went　about　my　employment　again；　but　their　　talk　and　discourse　went　with　me；　also　my　heart　would　tarry　with　　them；　for　I　was　greatly　affected　with　their　words；　both　because　by　　them　I　was　convinced　that　I　wanted　the　true　tokens　of　a　truly　godly　　man；　and　also　because　by　them　I　was　convinced　of　the　happy　and　　blessed　condition　of　him　that　was　such　a　one。
  41。　　Therefore　I　should　often　make　it　my　business　to　be　going　again　　and　again　into　the　company　of　these　poor　people；　for　I　could　not　　stay　away；　and　the　more　I　went　amongst　them；　the　more　I　did　　question　my　condition；　and　as　I　still　do　remember；　presently　I　　found　two　things　within　me；　at　which　I　did　sometimes　marvel　　（especially　considering　what　a　blind；　ignorant；　sordid　and　ungodly　　wretch　but　just　before　I　was）。　　The　one　was　a　very　great　softness　　and　tenderness　of　heart；　which　caused　me　to　fall　under　the　　conviction　of　what　by　scripture　they　asserted；　and　the　other　was　a　　great　bending　in　my　mind；　to　a　continual　meditating　on　it；　and　on　　all　other　good　things；　which　at　any　time　I　heard　or　read　of。
  42。　　By　these　things　my　mind　was　now　so　turned；　that　it　lay　like　an　　horse…leech　at　the　vein；　still　crying　out；　GIVE；　GIVE；　Prov。　xxx。　　15；　yea；　it　was　so　fixed　on　eternity；　and　on　the　things　about　the　　kingdom　of　heaven　（that　is；　so　far　as　I　knew；　though　as　yet；　God　　knows；　I　knew　but　little）；　that　neither　pleasures；　nor　profits；　nor　　persuasions；　nor　threats；　could　loose　it；　or　make　it　let　go　its　　hold；　and　though　I　may　speak　it　with　shame；　yet　it　is　in　very　deed；　　a　certain　truth；　it　would　then　have　been　as　difficult　for　me　to　　have　taken　my　mind　from　heaven　to　earth；　as　I　have　found　it　often　　since；　to　get　again　from　earth　to　heaven。
  43。　　One　thing　I　may　not　omit：　　There　was　a　young　man　in　our　town；　　to　whom　my　heart　before　was　knit；　more　than　to　any　other；　but　he　　being　a　most　wicked　creature　for　cursing；　and　swearing；　and　　whoreing；　I　now　shook　him　off；　and　forsook　his　company；　but　about　a　　quarter　of　a　year　after　I　had　left　him；　I　met　him　in　a　certain　　lane；　and　asked　him　how　he　did：　　he；　after　his　old　swearing　and　mad　　way；　answered；　he　was　well。　　But；　Harry；　said　I；　WHY　DO　YOU　CURSE　　AND　SWEAR　THUS？　　WHAT　WILL　BECOME　OF　YOU；　IF　YOU　DIE　IN　THIS　　CONDITION？　　He　answered　me　in　a　great　chafe；　WHAT　WOULD　THE　DEVIL　　DO　FOR　COMPANY；　IF　IT　WERE　NOT　FOR　SUCH　AS　I　AM？
  44。　　About　this　time　I　met　with　some　Ranters'　books；　that　were　put　　forth　by　some　of　our　countrymen；　which　books　were　also　highly　in　　esteem　by　several　old　professors；　some　of　these　I　read；　but　was　not　　able　to　make　any　judgment　about　them；　wherefore　as　I　read　in　them；　　and　thought　upon　them　（seeing　myself　unable　to　judge）；　I　would　　betake　myself　to　hearty　prayer　in　this　manner。　　O　LORD；　I　AM　A　　FOOL；　AND　NOT　ABLE　TO　KNOW　THE　TRUTH　FROM　ERROR：　　LORD；　LEAVE　ME　　NOT　TO　MY　OWN　BLINDNESS；　EITHER　TO　APPROVE　OF　OR　CONDEMN　THIS　　DOCTRINE；　IF　IT　BE　OF　GOD；　LET　ME　NOT　DESPISE　IT；　IF　IT　BE　OF　THE　　DEVIL；　LET　ME　NOT　EMBRACE　IT。　　LORD；　I　LAY　MY　SOUL　IN　THIS　MATTER　　ONLY　AT　THY　FOOT；　LET　ME　NOT　BE　DECEIVED；　I　HUMBLY　BESEECH　THEE。　　I　　had　one　religious　intimate　companion　all　this　while；　and　that　was　　the　poor　man　I　spoke　of　before；　but　about　this　time；　he　also　turned　　a　most　devilish　Ranter；　and　gave　himself　up　to　all　manner　of　　filthiness；　especially　uncleanness：　　he　would　also　deny　that　there　　was　a　God；　angel；　or　spirit；　and　would　laugh　at　all　exhortations　to　　sobriety；　when　I　laboured　to　rebuke　his　wickedness　he　would　laugh　　the　more；　and　pretend　that　he　had　gone　through　all　religions；　and　　could　never　light　on　the　right　till　now。　　He　told　me　also；　that　in　　a　little　time　I　should　see　all　professors　turn　to　the　ways　of　the　　Ranters。　　Wherefore；　abominating　those　cursed　principles；　I　left　　his　company　forthwith；　and　became　to　him　as　great　a　stranger；　as　I　　had　been　before　a　familiar。
  45。　　Neither　was　this　man　only　a　temptation　to　me；　but　my　calling　　lying　in　the　country；　I　happened　to　light　into　several　people's　　company；　who　though　strict　in　religion　formerly；　yet　were　also　　swept　away　by　these　Ranters。　　These　would　also　talk　with　me　of　　their　ways；　and　condemn　me　as　legal　and　dark；　pretending　that　they　　only　had　attained　to　perfection；　that　could　do　what　they　would　and　　not　sin。　　Oh！　these　temptations　were　suitable　to　my　flesh；　I　being　　but　a　young　man　and　my　nature　in　its　prime；　but　God；　who　had；　as　I　　hoped；　designed　me　for　better　things；　kept　me　in　the　fear　of　His　　name；　and　did　not　suffer　me　to　accept　such　cursed　principles。　　And　　blessed　be　God；　Who　put　it　into　my　heart　to　cry　to　Him　to　be　kept　　and　directed；　still　distrusting　my　own　wisdom；　for　I　have　since　　seen　even　the　effects　of　that　prayer；　in　His　preserving　me；　not　　only　from　Ranting　errors；　but　from　those　also　that　have　sprung　up　　since。　　The　Bible　was　precious　to　me　in　those　days。
  46。　　And　now　methought；　I　began　to　look　into　the　Bible　with　new　　eyes；　and　read　as　I　never　did　before；　and　especially　the　epistles　　of　the　apostle　St　Paul　were　sweet　and　pleasant　to　me；　and　indeed　I　　was　then　never　out　of　the　Bible；　either　by　reading　or　meditation；　　still　crying　out　to　God；　that　I　might　know　the　truth；　and　way　to　　heaven　and　glory。
  47。　　And　as　I　went　on　and　read；　I　lighted　upon　that　passage；　TO　ONE　　IS　GIVEN；　BY　THE　SPIRIT；　THE　WORD　OF　WISDOM；　TO　ANOTHER　THE　WORD　　KNOWLEDGE　BY　THE　SAME　SPIRIT；　AND　TO　ANOTHER　FAITH；　etc。　　1　Cor。　　xii。　　And　though；　as　I　have　since　seen；　that　by　this　scripture　the　　Holy　Ghost　intends；　in　special；　things　extraordinary；　yet　on　me　it　　did　then　fasten　with　conviction；　that　I　did　want　things　ordinary；　　even　that　understanding　and　wisdom　that　other　Christians　had。　　On　　this　word　I　mused；　and　could　not　tell　what　to　do；　especially　this　　word　'Faith'　put　me　to　it；　for　I　could　not　help　it；　but　sometimes　　must　question；　whether　I　had　any　faith；　or　no；　but　I　was　loath　to　　conclude；　I　had　no　faith；　for　if　I　do　so；　thought　I；　then　I　shall　　count　myself　a　very　cast…away　indeed。
  48。　　No；　said　I；　with　myself；　though　I　am　convinced　that　I　am　an　　ignorant　sot；　and　that　I　want　those　blessed　gifts　of　knowledge　and　　understanding　that　other　people　have；　yet　at　a　venture　I　will　　conclude；　I　am　not　altogether　faithless；　though　I　know　not　what　　faith　is；　for　it　was　shewn　me；　and　that　too　（as　I　have　seen　since）　　by　Satan；　that　those　who　conclude　themselves　in　a　faithless　state；　　have　neither　rest　nor　quiet　in　their　souls；　and　I　was　loath　to　fall　　quite　into　despair。
  49。　　Wherefore　by　this　suggestion　I　was；　for　a　while；　made　afraid　　to　see　my　want　of　faith；　but　God　would　not　suffer　me　thus　to　undo　　and　destroy　my　soul；　but　did　continually；　against　this　my　sad　and　　blind　conclusion；　create　still　within　me　such　suppositions；　　insomuch　that　I　could　not　rest　content；　until　I　did　now　come　to　　some　certain　knowledge；　whether　I　had　faith　or　no；　this　always　　running　in　my　mind；　BUT　HOW　IF　YOU　WANT　FAITH　INDEED？　　BUT　HOW　CAN　　YOU　TELL　YOU　HAVE　FAITH？　　And　besides；　I　saw　for　certain；　if　I　had　　not；　I　was　sure　to　perish　for　ever。
  50。　　So　that　though　I　endeavoured　at　the　first　to　look　over　the　　business　of　Faith；　yet　in　a　little　time；　I　better　considering　the　　matter；　was　willing　to　put　myself　upon　the　trial　whether　I　had　　faith　or　no。　　But　alas；　poor　wretch！　so　ignorant　and　brutish　was　I；　　that　I　knew　not　to　this　day　no　more　how　to　do