第 150 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9226
  socket;     there   was    the   chair   in   the   same    place    where    Adam
  remembered         sitting;   there   was    the  waste…paper       basket    full  of
  scraps;   and deep down   in   it; Arthur   felt   in   an   instant;   there   was
  the   little   pink   silk   handkerchief。   It   would   have   been   painful   to
  enter this place if their previous thoughts had been less painful。
  They sat down opposite each other in the old places; and Arthur
  said; “I’m going away; Adam; I’m going into the army。”
  Poor     Arthur    felt  that   Adam      ought    to  be   affected    by   this
  announcement—ought to have a movement of  sympathy  towards
  him。 But Adam’s lips remained firmly closed; and the   expression
  of his face unchanged。
  “What I want to say to you;” Arthur continued; “is this: one of
  my     reasons     for  going    away     is  that   no   one    else   may    leave
  Hayslope—may           leave   their   home     on  my    account。    I  would     do
  anything;   there   is   no   sacrifice   I   would   not   make;   to   prevent   any
  further      injury    to    others    through       my—through         what      has
  happened。”
  Arthur’s words had precisely the opposite effect to that he had
  anticipated。   Adam   thought   he   perceived   in   them   that   notion   of
  compensation   for   irretrievable   wrong;   that   self…soothing   attempt
  to make evil bear the same fruits as good; which most of all roused
  his indignation。 He was as strongly impelled to look painful   facts
  right in the face as Arthur was to turn away his   eyes   from   them。
  Moreover;   he   had   the   wakeful   suspicious   pride  of  a   poor   man   in
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      614
  the presence of a rich man。 He felt his old severity returning as he
  said; “The time’s past for that; sir。 A man should make sacrifices to
  keep   clear   of   doing   a   wrong;   sacrifices   won’t   undo   it   when   it’s
  done。 When people’s feelings have got a deadly wound; they can’t
  be cured with favours。”
  “Favours!” said Arthur; passionately; “no; how can you suppose
  I   meant   that?   But   the   Poysers—Mr。   Irwine   tells   me   the   Poysers
  mean to leave the place where they have lived so many years—for
  generations。 Don’t you see; as Mr。 Irwine does; that if they  could
  be   persuaded   to   overcome   the   feeling   that   drives   them   away;   it
  would   be   much  better   for   them   in   the   end   to   remain   on   the   old
  spot; among the friends and neighbours who know them?”
  “That’s true;” said Adam coldly。 “But then; sir; folks’s   feelings
  are not so easily overcome。 It’ll be hard for Martin Poyser to go to
  a strange place; among strange faces; when he’s been bred up on
  the Hall Farm; and his father before him; but then it ’ud be harder
  for a man with his feelings to stay。 I don’t see how the thing’s to be
  made any other than hard。 There’s a sort o’ damage; sir; that can’t
  be made up for。”
  Arthur     was   silent   some    moments。      In  spite   of  other   feelings
  dominant   in   him      this   evening;   his   pride   winced    under   Adam’s
  mode of treating him。 Wasn’t he himself suffering? Was not he too
  obliged   to   renounce   his   most   cherished   hopes?   It   was   now   as   it
  had    been    eight   months     ago—Adam        was    forcing   Arthur    to  feel
  more   intensely   the   irrevocableness   of   his   own   wrong…doing。   He
  was presenting the sort of resistance that was the most irritating to
  Arthur’s   eager  ardent  nature。   But  his anger  was   subdued by  the
  same      influence     that   had    subdued       Adam’s      when     they    first
  confronted       each    other—by      the   marks     of  suffering     in  a  long
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                         615
  familiar face。 The momentary struggle ended in the feeling that he
  could   bear   a   great   deal   from   Adam;   to   whom   he   had   been   the
  occasion   of bearing   so   much;   but   there   was   a   touch   of   pleading;
  boyish   vexation   in   his   tone   as   he   said;   “But   people   may   make
  injuries worse by  unreasonable   conduct—by  giving  way  to  anger
  and satisfying that for the   moment;   instead  of  thinking  what  will
  be the effect in the future。
  “If   I   were   going   to   stay   here   and   act   as   landlord;”   he   added
  presently;      with    still  more    eagerness—“if        I  were    careless    about
  what I’ve done—what I’ve been the cause of; you would have some
  excuse; Adam; for going away and encouraging others to go。 You
  would   have   some   excuse   then   for   trying   to   make   the   evil   worse。
  But   when   I   tell   you   I’m   going   away   for   years—when   you   know
  what  that  means   for  me;   how   it   cuts   off   every   plan   of   happiness
  I’ve   ever   formed—it   is   impossible   for   a   sensible   man   like   you   to
  believe   that   there   is   any   real   ground   for   the   Poysers   refusing   to
  remain。 I know their feeling  about  disgrace—Mr。   Irwine  has   told
  me   all; but  he   is   of   opinion   that   they   might   be   persuaded   out   of
  this   idea  that  they  are   disgraced   in   the   eyes   of   their   neighbours;
  and that they can’t remain on my estate; if you would join him in
  his efforts—if you would stay yourself and go on managing the old
  woods。”
  Arthur   paused   a       moment   and       then    added;    pleadingly;      “You
  know that’s a good work to do for the sake of other people; besides
  the   owner。   And  you  don’t  know  but  that  they   may   have   a   better
  owner   soon;   whom   you   will   like   to   work   for。   If   I   die;   my   cousin
  Tradgett   will   have   the   estate   and   take   my   name。   He   is   a   good
  fellow。”
  Adam   could   not   help   being   moved:   it   was   impossible   for   him
  George Eliot                                                             ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      616
  not   to   feel   that   this   was   the   voice   of   the  honest   warm…hearted
  Arthur   whom   he   had   loved   and   been   proud   of   in   old   days;   but
  nearer   memories   would   not   be   thrust   away。   He   was   silent;   yet
  Arthur saw an answer in his face that induced him to go on; with
  growing earnestness。
  “And then; if you would talk to the Poysers—if you would talk
  the    matter     over   with   Mr。    Irwine—he       means     to   see   you   to…
  morrow—and   then   if        you   would     join   your   arguments     to   his  to
  prevail on them not to go 。 。 。 I know; of course; that they would not
  accept any favour from me—I mean nothing of that kind—but I’m
  sure they would suffer less in   the   end。   Irwine   thinks so  too。   And
  Mr。   Irwine   is   to   have   the   chief   authority   on   the   estate—he   has
  consented to undertake that。 They will really be under no man but
  one whom   they  respect  and like。   It  would be   the   same   with  you;
  Adam; and it could be nothing but a desire to give me worse pain
  that could incline you to go。”
  Arthur   was   silent   again   for   a   little   while;   and   then   said;   with
  some agitation in his voice; “I wouldn’t act so towards you; I know。
  If you were in my place and I in yours; I should try to help you to
  do the best。”
  Adam made a hasty movement on his chair and looked on the
  ground。   Arthur   went   on;   “Perhaps   you’ve   never   done   anything
  you’ve had bitterly to repent of in your life; Adam; if you had; you
  would be more generous。 You would know then that it’s worse for
  me than for you。”
  Arthur rose from his seat with the last words; and went to one
  of the windows; looking out and turning his back on Adam; as he
  continued; passionately;
  “Haven’t I loved her too? Didn’t  I see   her  yesterday?  Shan’t  I
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  Adam Bede                                      617
  carry the thought of her about with me as much as you will? And
  don’t you think you would suffer more if you’d been in fault?”
  There     was    silence    for  several    minutes;     for  the   struggle