第 18 节
作者:绝对601      更新:2022-04-16 12:12      字数:9262
  state could no longer supply his aunt with a pretence for absenting
  herself; and this was but the beginning of other dinings and other
  meetings。
  Whether former feelings were to be renewed   must  be brought
  to   the   proof;   former   times   must   undoubtedly   be   brought   to   the
  recollection of each; they could not but be reverted to; the year of
  their   engagement   could   not   but   be   named   by   him;   in   the   little
  narratives      or  descriptions     which    conversation      called   forth。   His
  profession      qualified   him;   his   disposition    lead   him;   to  talk;  and
  “That was in the year six;” “That happened before I went to sea in
  the year six;” occurred in the course of the first evening they spent
  together: and though his voice did not falter; and though she had
  no   reason   to   suppose   his   eye   wandering   towards         her   while   he
  spoke; Anne felt the utter impossibility; from her knowledge of his
  mind; that he could be unvisited by remembrance any more than
  herself。 There must be the same immediate association of thought;
  though she was very far from conceiving it to be of equal pain。
  They had no conversation together; no intercourse but what the
  commonest   civility   required。   Once   so   much   to   each   other!   Now
  nothing! There had been a  time;   when  of   all   the   large   party  now
  filling the drawing…room at Uppercross; they would have found it
  most difficult to cease to speak to one another。 With the exception;
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  perhaps;     of  Admiral     and   Mrs。   Croft;   who    seemed    particularly
  attached and happy; (Anne could allow no  other  exceptions   even
  among the married couples) there could have been no two hearts
  so    open;   no   tastes   so   similar;   no   feelings   so   in  unison;    no
  countenances so beloved。 Now they were as strangers; nay; worse
  than strangers; for they could never become acquainted。 It was a
  perpetual estrangement。
  When   he   talked;   she   heard   the   same   voice;   and   discerned   the
  same     mind。    There    was   a  very   general    ignorance     of  all  naval
  matters throughout the party; and he was very much questioned;
  and especially by the two Miss Musgroves; who seemed hardly to
  have   any   eyes   but   for   him;   as   to   the   manner   of   living   on   board;
  daily    regulations;    food;   hours;   &c。;   and    their  surprise    at  his
  accounts;      at   learning     the    degree     of   accommodation         and
  arrangement which was practicable; drew from him some pleasant
  ridicule; which reminded Anne of the early days when she too had
  been ignorant; and she too had been accused of supposing sailors
  to be living on board without anything to eat; or any cook to dress
  it if there were; or any servant to wait; or any knife and fork to use。
  From thus listening and thinking; she was roused by a whisper
  of Mrs。 Musgrove’s who; overcome by fond regrets; could not help
  saying;
  “Ah! Miss Anne; if it had pleased Heaven to spare my poor son;
  I dare say he would have been just such another by this time。”
  Anne      suppressed     a   smile;   and   listened   kindly;    while   Mrs。
  Musgrove relieved her heart a little more; and for a few minutes;
  therefore;     could   not   keep    pace   with    the  conversation      of  the
  others。—When she could let her attention take   its   natural course
  again; she found the Miss Musgroves just fetching the navy…list—
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  (their  own   navy  list;   the  first   that   had   ever   been   at   Uppercross);
  and sitting down together to pore over it; with the professed view
  of finding out the ships that Captain Wentworth had commanded。
  “Your first was the Asp; I remember; we will look for the Asp。”
  “You will not find her there。—Quite worn out and broken up。 I
  was   the    last   man  who   commanded         her。—Hardly   fit   for   service
  then。—Reported   fit   for   home   service   for   a   year   or   two;   and   so   I
  was sent off to the West Indies。”
  The girls looked all amazement。
  “The Admiralty;” he continued; “entertain themselves now and
  then; with sending a few hundred men to sea; in a ship not fit to be
  employed。 But they have a great many to provide for; and among
  the thousands that may just as well go to the   bottom   as   not; it  is
  impossible for them to distinguish the very  set  who  may  be   least
  missed。”
  “Phoo!     phoo!”    cried   the   Admiral;     “what    stuff   these   young
  fellows talk! Never was a better sloop than the Asp in her  day。—
  For an old built sloop; you would not see her equal。 Lucky fellow
  to  get   her!—He   knows   there   must   have   been   twenty   better   men
  than himself applying for her at the same time。 Lucky fellow to get
  anything so soon; with no more interest than his。”
  “I   felt  my    luck;   Admiral;     I  assure    you;”    replied    Captain
  Wentworth;         seriously。—“I       was    as    well   satisfied     with    my
  appointment  as   you   can   desire。   It   was   a   great   object   with   me   at
  that time to be at sea;—a very great object; I wanted to be doing
  something。”
  “To be sure you did。—What should a young fellow like you do
  ashore for half a year together?—If a man had not a wife; he soon
  wants to be afloat again。”
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  “But; Captain Wentworth;” cried Louisa; “how vexed you must
  have   been   when   you   came   to   the   Asp;   to   see   what   an   old   thing
  they had given you。”
  “I   knew   pretty   well   what   she   was   before   that   day;”   said   he;
  smiling。 “I had no more discoveries to make than you would have
  as   to  the   fashion   and strength   of   any   old   pelisse;   which   you   had
  seen    lent   about    among     half   your   acquaintance       ever   since   you
  could remember; and which at last; on some very wet day; is lent
  to yourself。—Ah! she was a dear old Asp to me。 She did all that I
  wanted。 I knew she would。—I knew that we should either go to the
  bottom   together;   or   that   she   would   be   the   making   of   me;   and   I
  never had two days of foul weather all the time I was at sea in her;
  and after taking privateers enough to be very entertaining; I   had
  the good luck in my passage home the next autumn; to fall in with
  the   very  French  frigate   I   wanted。—I   brought   her   into   Plymouth;
  and here another instance of luck。 We had not  been   six  hours   in
  the    Sound;    when   a    gale   came    on;  which   lasted     four   days   and
  nights;   and   which   would   have   done   for   poor   old   Asp   in   half   the
  time; our touch with the Great Nation not having much improved
  our    condition。    Four…and…twenty         hours    later;  and    I  should   only
  have   been a   gallant  Captain Wentworth;   in a   small   paragraph   at
  one    corner   of   the   newspapers;      and    being   lost   in  only  a  sloop;
  nobody would have thought about me。” Anne’s shudderings were
  to herself alone; but the Miss Musgroves could be as open as they
  were sincere; in their exclamations of pity and horror。
  “And so then; I suppose;” said Mrs。 Musgrove; in a low voice; as
  if thinking aloud; “so then he went away to the Laconia; and there
  he met with our poor boy。—Charles; my dear;” (beckoning him to
  her);   “do   ask   Captain   Wentworth   where   it   was   he   first   met   with
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  your poor brother。 I always forgot。”
  “It   was   at   Gibraltar;   mother;   I   know。   Dick   had   been   left   ill   at
  Gibraltar;      with   a  recommendation          from    his  former     captain    to
  Captain Wentworth。”
  “Oh!—but;   Charles;   tell       Captain   Wentworth;         he  need   not   be
  afraid of mentioning poor Dick before me; for it would be rather a
  pleasure to hear him talked of by such a good friend。”
  Charles;   being   somewhat  more   mindful   of   the   probabilities   of
  the case; only nodded in reply; and walked awa