第 37 节
作者:打死也不说      更新:2021-12-13 08:41      字数:9322
  erstood through her; of which I should never have had any idea。 Even now when we go to the Louvre with papa; or to the exhibition of the 1st of May; that special feeling I have about a beautiful piece of sculpture; a good picture; carries me back immediately to Felicia。 In my early girlhood she represented art to me; and it corresponded with her beauty。 Her nature was a little vague; but so kind; I always felt she was something superior to myself; that bore me to great heights without frightening me。 Suddenly she stopped coming to see me。 I wrote to her; no reply。 Later on; fame came to her; to me great sorrows; absorbing duties。 And of all that friendship; which was very deep; however; since I cannot speak of it without'three; four; five'nothing now remains except old memories like dead ashes。〃
  Bending over her work; the brave girl made haste to count her stitches; to imprison her regret in the capricious designs of her tapestry; while de Gery; moved as he heard the testimony of those pure lips against the calumnies of rejected young dandies or of jealous comrades; felt himself raised; restored to the proud dignity of his love。 This sensation was so sweet to him that he returned in search of it very often; not only on the evenings of the lessons; but on other evenings; too; and almost forgot to go to see Felicia for the pleasure of hearing Aline talk about her。
  One evening; as he was leaving the Joyeuses' home; Paul met the neighbour; M。 Andre; on the landing; who was waiting for him and took his arm feverishly。
  〃Monsieur de Gery;〃 he said in a trembling voice; with eyes that glittered behind their spectacles; the one feature of his face that was visible in the darkness。 〃I have an explanation to ask from you。 Will you come up to my rooms for a moment?〃
  There had only been between this young man and himself the banal relations of two persons accustomed to frequent the same house; whom no tie unites; who seem ever separated by a certain antipathy of nature; of manner of life。 What explanation could there be called for between them? He followed him with much perplexed curiosity。
  The aspect of the little studio; chilly under its top…light; the empty fireplace; the wind blowing as though they were out of doors and making the candle flicker; the solitary light on the scene of the night's labour of a poor and lonely man; reflected on sheets of paper scribbled over and scattered about; in short; this atmosphere of habitations wherein the soul of the inhabitants lives on its own aspirations; caused de Gery to understand the visionary air of Andre Maranne; his long hair thrown back and streaming loose; that somewhat excessive appearance; very excusable when it is paid for by a life of sufferings and privations; and his sympathy immediately went out to this courageous fellow whose intrepidity of spirit he guessed at a glance。 But the other was too deeply moved by emotion to notice the progress of these reflections。 As soon as the door was closed upon them; he said; with the accent of a stage hero addressing the perfidious seducer; 〃M。 de Gery; I am not yet a Cassandra。〃
  And seeing the stupefaction of de Gery:
  〃Yes; yes;〃 he went on; 〃we understand each other。 I have known perfectly well what it is that draws you to M。 Joyeuse's house; and the eager welcome with which you are received there has not escaped my notice either。 You are rich; you are of noble birth; there can be no hesitation between you and the poor poet who follows a ridiculous trade in order to give himself full time to reach a success which perhaps will never come。 But I shall not allow my happiness to be stolen from me。 We must fight; monsieur; we must fight;〃 he repeated; excited by the peaceful calm of his rival。 〃For long I have loved Mlle。 Joyeuse。 That love is the end; the joy; and the strength of an existence which is very hard; in many respects painful。 I have only it in the world; and I would rather die than give it up。〃
  Strangeness of the human soul! Paul did not love the charming Aline。 His whole heart belonged to the other。 He thought of her simply as a friend; the most adorable of friends。 But the idea that Maranne was interested in her; that she no doubt returned this regard; gave him the jealous shiver of an annoyance; and it was with some considerable sharpness that he inquired whether Mlle。 Joyeuse was aware of this sentiment of Andre's and had in any way authorized him thus to proclaim his rights。
  〃Yes; monsieur; Mlle。 Elise knows that I love her; and before your frequent visits〃
  〃Elise? It is of Elise you are speaking?〃
  〃And of whom; then; should I be speaking? The two others are too young。〃
  He fully entered into the traditions of the family; this Andre。 For him; Bonne Maman's age of twenty years; her triumphant grace; were obscured by a surname full of respect and the attributes of a Providence which seemed to cling to her。
  A very brief explanation having calmed Andre Maranne's mind; he offered his apologies to de Gery; begged him to sit down in the arm… chair of carved wood which was used by his sitters; and their conversation quickly assumed an intimate and sympathetic character; brought about by the so abrupt avowal at its opening。 Paul confessed that he; too; was in love; and that he came so often to M。 Joyeuse's only in order to speak of her whom he loved with Bonne Maman; who had known her formerly。
  〃That is my case; too;〃 said Andre。 〃Bonne Maman knows all my secrets; but we have not yet ventured to say anything to the father。 My position is too unsatisfactory。 Ah; when I shall have got /Revolt/ produced!〃
  Then they talked of that famous drama; /Revolt/; upon which he had been at work for six months; day and night; which had kept him warm all the winter; a very severe winter; but whose rigours the magic of composition had tempered in the little studio; which it transformed。 It was there; within that narrow space; that all the heroes of his piece had appeared to his poet's vision like familiar gnomes dropped from the roof or riding moon…beams; and with them the gorgeous tapestries; the glittering chandeliers; the park scenes with their gleaming flights of steps; all the luxurious circumstance expected in stage effects; as well as the glorious tumult of his first night; the applause of which was represented for him by the rain beating on the glass roof and the boards rattling in the door; while the wind; driving below over the murky timber…yard with a noise as of far…off voices; borne near and anew carried off into the distance; resembled the murmurs from the boxes opened on the corridor to let the news of his success circulate among the gossip and wonderment of the crowd。 It was not only fame and money that it was destined to procure him; this thrice…blessed play; but something also more precious still。 With what care accordingly did he not turn over the leaves of the manuscript in five thick books; all bound in blue; books like those that the Levantine was accustomed to strew about on the divan where she took her siestas; and that she marked with her managerial pencil。
  Paul; having in his turn approached the table in order to examine the masterpiece had his glance attracted by a richly framed portrait of a woman; which; placed so near to the artist's work; seemed to be there to preside over it。 Elise; doubtless? Oh; no; Andre had not yet the right to bring out from its protecting case the portrait of his little friend。 This was a woman of about forty; gentle of aspect; fair; and extremely elegant。 As he perceived her; de Gery could not suppress an exclamation。
  〃You know her?〃 asked Andre Maranne。
  〃Why; yes。 Mme。 Jenkins; the wife of the Irish doctor。 I have had supper at their house this winter。〃
  〃She is my mother。〃 And the young man added in a lower tone:
  〃Mme。 Maranne made a second marriage with Dr。 Jenkins。 You are surprised; are you not; to see me in these poor surroundings; while my relatives are living in the midst of luxury? But; you know; the chances of family life sometimes group together natures that differ very widely。 My stepfather and I have never been able to understand each other。 He wished to make me a doctor; whereas my only taste was for writing。 So at last; in order to avoid the continual discussions which were painful to my mother; I preferred to leave the house and plough my furrow alone; without the help of anybody。 A rough business。 Funds were wanting。 The whole fortune has gone to thatto M。 Jenkins。 The question was to earn a livelihood; and you are aware what a difficult thing that is for people like ourselves; supposed to be well brought…up。 To think that among all the accomplishments gained from what we are accustomed to call a complete education; this child's play was the only thing I could find by which I could hope to earn my bread。 A few savings; my own purse; slender like that of most young men; served to buy my first outfit and I installed myself here far away; in the remotest region of Paris; in order not to embarrass my relatives。 Between ourselves; I don't expect to make a fortune out of photography。 The first days especially were very difficult。 Nobody came; or if by chance some unfortunate wight did mount; I made a failure of him; got on my plate only an image