第 72 节
作者:吹嘻      更新:2021-11-05 20:37      字数:9322
  of sight when he is here。  It is very tiresome。  I know that it is
  the fashion to say that George has got the temper of the family;
  but I assure you that Alan's nervous moods and fancies are much
  more difficult to live with。〃
  That was on the morninga Friday it wasof the last day which we
  were to spend alone。  The guests were to arrive soon after tea; and
  I think that with the knowledge of their approach Alan and I
  prolonged our ride that afternoon beyond its usual limits。  We were
  on our way home; and it was already dusk; when a turn of the path
  brought us face to face with the old ruined tower; of which I have
  already spoken as standing at the head of the valley。  I had not
  been close up to it yet during this visit at Mervyn。  It had been a
  very favorite haunt of ours as children; and partly on that
  account; partly perhaps in order to defer the dreaded close of our
  ride to the last possible moment; I proposed an inspection of it。
  The only portion of the old building left standing in any kind of
  entirety was two rooms; one above the other。  The tower room; level
  with the bottom of the moat; was dark and damp; and it was the
  upper one; reached by a little outside staircase; which had been
  our rendezvous of old。  Alan showed no disposition to enter; and
  said that he would stay outside and hold my horse; so I dismounted
  and ran up alone。
  The room seemed in no way changed。  A mere stone shell; littered
  with fragments of wood and mortar。  There was the rough wooden
  block on which Alan used to sit while he first frightened us with
  bogey…stories; and then calmed our excited nerves by rapid sallies
  of wild nonsense。  There was the plank from behind which; erected
  as a barrier across the doorway; he would defend the castle against
  our united assault; pelting us with fir…cones and sods of earth。
  This and many a bygone scene thronged on me as I stood there; and
  the room filled again with the memories of childish mirth。  And
  following close came those of childish terrors。  Horrors which had
  oppressed me then; wholly imagined or dimly apprehended from half…
  heard traditions; and never thought of since; flitted around me in
  the gathering dusk。  And with them it seemed to me as if there came
  other memories too;memories which had never been my own; of
  scenes whose actors had long been with the dead; but which;
  immortal as the spirit before whose eyes they had dwelt; still
  lingered in the spot where their victim had first learnt to shudder
  at their presence。  Once the ghastly notion came to me; it seized
  on my imagination with irresistible force。  It seemed as if from
  the darkened corners of the room vague; ill…defined shapes were
  actually peering out at me。  When night came they would show
  themselves in that form; livid and terrible; in which they had been
  burnt into the brain and heart of the long ago dead。
  I turned and glanced towards where I had left Alan。  I could see
  his figure framed in by the window; a black shadow against the gray
  twilight of the sky behind。  Erect and perfectly motionless he sat;
  so motionless as to look almost lifeless; gazing before him down
  the valley into the illimitable distance beyond。  There was
  something in that stern immobility of look and attitude which
  struck me with a curious sense of congruity。  It was right that he
  should be thusright that he should be no longer the laughing boy
  who a moment before had been in my memory。  The haunting horrors of
  that place seemed to demand it; and for the first time I felt that
  I understood the change。  With an effort I shook myself free from
  these fancies; and turned to go。  As I did so; my eye fell upon a
  queer…shaped painted board; leaning up against the wall; which I
  well recollected in old times。  Many a discussion had we had about
  the legend inscribed upon it; which in our wisdom we had finally
  pronounced to be German; chiefly because it was illegible。  Though
  I had loudly professed my faith in this theory at the time; I had
  always had uneasy doubts on the subject; and now half smiling I
  bent down to verify or remove them。  The language was English; not
  German; but the badly painted; faded Gothic letters in which it was
  written made the mistake excusable。  In the dim light I had
  difficulty even now in deciphering the words; and felt when I had
  done so that neither the information conveyed nor the style of the
  composition was sufficient reward for the trouble I had taken。
  This is what I read:
  〃Where the woman sinned the maid shall win;
  But God help the maid that sleeps within。〃
  What the lines could refer to I neither had any notion nor did I
  pause then even in my own mind to inquire。  I only remember vaguely
  wondering whether they were intended for a tombstone or for a
  doorway。  Then; continuing my way; I rapidly descended the steps
  and remounted my horse; glad to find myself once again in the open
  air and by my cousin's side。
  The train of thought into which he had sunk during my absence was
  apparently an absorbing one; for to my first question as to the
  painted board he could hardly rouse himself to answer。
  〃A board with a legend written on it?  Yes; he remembered something
  of the kind there。  It had always been there; he thought。  He knew
  nothing about it;〃and so the subject was not continued。
  The weird feelings which had haunted me in the tower still
  oppressed me; and I proceeded to ask Alan about that old Dame Alice
  whom the traditions of my childhood represented as the last
  occupant of the ruined building。  Alan roused himself now; but did
  not seem anxious to impart information on the subject。  She had
  lived there; he admitted; and no one had lived there since。  〃Had
  she not;〃 I inquired; 〃something to do with the mysterious cabinet
  at the house?  I remember hearing it spoken of as 'Dame Alice's
  cabinet。'
  〃So they say;〃 he assented; 〃she and an Italian artificer who was
  in her service; and who; chiefly I imagine on account of his skill;
  shared with her the honor of reputed witchcraft。〃
  〃She was the mother of Hugh Mervyn; the man who was murdered by his
  wife; was she not?〃 I asked。
  〃Yes;〃 said Alan; briefly。
  〃And had she not something to do with the curse?〃  I inquired after
  a short pause; and nervously I remembered my father's experience on
  that subject; and I had never before dared to allude to it in the
  presence of any member of the family。  My nervousness was fully
  warranted。  The gloom on Alan's brow deepened; and after a very
  short 〃They say so〃 he turned full upon me; and inquired with some
  asperity why on earth I had developed this sudden curiosity about
  his ancestress。
  I hesitated a moment; for I was a little ashamed of my fancies; but
  the darkness gave me courage; and besides I was not afraid of
  telling Alanhe would understand。  I told him of the strange
  sensations I had had while in the towersensations which had
  struck me with all that force and clearness which we usually
  associate with a direct experience of fact。  〃Of course it was a
  trick of imagination;〃 I commented; 〃but I could not get rid of the
  feeling that the person who had dwelt there last must have had
  terrible thoughts for the companions of her life。〃
  Alan listened in silence; and the silence continued for some time
  after I had ceased speaking。
  〃It is strange;〃 he said at last; 〃instincts which we do not
  understand form the motive…power of most of our life's actions; and
  yet we refuse to admit them as evidence of any external truth。  I
  suppose it is because we MUST act somehow; rightly or wrongly; and
  there are a great many things which we need not believe unless we
  choose。  As for this old lady; she lived longlong enough; like
  most of us; to do evil; unlike most of us; long enough to witness
  some of the results of that evil。  To say that; is to say that the
  last years of her life must have been weighted heavily enough with
  tragic thought。〃
  I gave a little shudder of repulsion。
  〃That is a depressing view of life; Alan;〃 I said。  〃Does our peace
  of mind depend only upon death coming early enough to hide from us
  the truth?  And; after all; can it?  Our spirits do not die。  From
  another world they may witness the fruits of our lives in this
  one。〃
  〃If they do;〃 he answered with sudden violence; 〃it is absurd to
  doubt the existence of a purgatory。  There must in such a case be a
  terrible one in store for the best among us。〃
  I was silent。  The shadow that lay on his soul did not penetrate to
  mine; but it hung round me nevertheless; a cloud which I felt
  powerless to disperse。
  After a moment he went on;〃Provided that they are distant enough;
  how little; after all; do we think of the results of our actions!
  There are few men who would deliberately instill into a child a
  love of drink; or wilfully deprive him of his reason; and yet a man
  with drunkenness or madness in his blood thinks n