第 72 节
作者:不受约束      更新:2021-05-04 17:23      字数:9243
  likely to meet him。 To say ‘How do you do; Mr。 Larkins? Are the
  young ladies and all the family quite well?’ seems so pointed; that I
  blush。
  I think continually about my age。 Say I am seventeen; and say
  that seventeen is young for the eldest Miss Larkins; what of that?
  Besides; I shall be one…and…twenty in no time almost。 I regularly
  take walks outside Mr。 Larkins’s house in the evening; though it
  cuts me to the heart to see the officers go in; or to hear them up in
  the drawing…room; where the eldest Miss Larkins plays the harp。 I
  even walk; on two or three occasions; in a sickly; spoony manner;
  round and round the house after the family are gone to bed;
  wondering which is the eldest Miss Larkins’s chamber (and
  pitching; I dare say now; on Mr。 Larkins’s instead); wishing that a
  fire would burst out; that the assembled crowd would stand
  appalled; that I; dashing through them with a ladder; might rear it
  against her window; save her in my arms; go back for something
  she had left behind; and perish in the flames。 For I am generally
  disinterested in my love; and think I could be content to make a
  figure before Miss Larkins; and expire。
  Generally; but not always。 Sometimes brighter visions rise
  before me。 When I dress (the occupation of two hours); for a great
  ball given at the Larkins’s (the anticipation of three weeks); I
  indulge my fancy with pleasing images。 I picture myself taking
  courage to make a declaration to Miss Larkins。 I picture Miss
  Larkins sinking her head upon my shoulder; and saying; ‘Oh; Mr。
  Copperfield; can I believe my ears!’ I picture Mr。 Larkins waiting
  on me next morning; and saying; ‘My dear Copperfield; my
  daughter has told me all。 Youth is no objection。 Here are twenty
  Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
  David Copperfield
  thousand pounds。 Be happy!’ I picture my aunt relenting; and
  blessing us; and Mr。 Dick and Doctor Strong being present at the
  marriage ceremony。 I am a sensible fellow; I believe—I believe; on
  looking back; I mean—and modest I am sure; but all this goes on
  notwithstanding。 I repair to the enchanted house; where there are
  lights; chattering; music; flowers; officers (I am sorry to see); and
  the eldest Miss Larkins; a blaze of beauty。 She is dressed in blue;
  with blue flowers in her hair—forget…me…nots—as if SHE had any
  need to wear forget…me…nots。 It is the first really grown…up party
  that I have ever been invited to; and I am a little uncomfortable;
  for I appear not to belong to anybody; and nobody appears to have
  anything to say to me; except Mr。 Larkins; who asks me how my
  schoolfellows are; which he needn’t do; as I have not come there to
  be insulted。
  But after I have stood in the doorway for some time; and
  feasted my eyes upon the goddess of my heart; she approaches
  me—she; the eldest Miss Larkins!—and asks me pleasantly; if I
  dance?
  I stammer; with a bow; ‘With you; Miss Larkins。’
  ‘With no one else?’ inquires Miss Larkins。
  ‘I should have no pleasure in dancing with anyone else。’
  Miss Larkins laughs and blushes (or I think she blushes); and
  says; ‘Next time but one; I shall be very glad。’
  The time arrives。 ‘It is a waltz; I think;’ Miss Larkins doubtfully
  observes; when I present myself。 ‘Do you waltz? If not; Captain
  Bailey—’
  But I do waltz (pretty well; too; as it happens); and I take Miss
  Larkins out。 I take her sternly from the side of Captain Bailey。 He
  is wretched; I have no doubt; but he is nothing to me。 I have been
  Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
  David Copperfield
  wretched; too。 I waltz with the eldest Miss Larkins! I don’t know
  where; among whom; or how long。 I only know that I swim about
  in space; with a blue angel; in a state of blissful delirium; until I
  find myself alone with her in a little room; resting on a sofa。 She
  admires a flower (pink camellia japonica; price half…a…crown); in
  my button…hole。 I give it her; and say:
  ‘I ask an inestimable price for it; Miss Larkins。’
  ‘Indeed! What is that?’ returns Miss Larkins。
  ‘A flower of yours; that I may treasure it as a miser does gold。’
  ‘You’re a bold boy;’ says Miss Larkins。 ‘There。’
  She gives it me; not displeased; and I put it to my lips; and then
  into my breast。 Miss Larkins; laughing; draws her hand through
  my arm; and says; ‘Now take me back to Captain Bailey。’
  I am lost in the recollection of this delicious interview; and the
  waltz; when she comes to me again; with a plain elderly gentleman
  who has been playing whist all night; upon her arm; and says: ‘Oh!
  here is my bold friend! Mr。 Chestle wants to know you; Mr。
  Copperfield。’
  I feel at once that he is a friend of the family; and am much
  gratified。
  ‘I admire your taste; sir;’ says Mr。 Chestle。 ‘It does you credit。 I
  suppose you don’t take much interest in hops; but I am a pretty
  large grower myself; and if you ever like to come over to our
  neighbourhood—neighbourhood of Ashford—and take a run
  about our place;—we shall be glad for you to stop as long as you
  like。’
  I thank Mr。 Chestle warmly; and shake hands。 I think I am in a
  happy dream。 I waltz with the eldest Miss Larkins once again。 She
  says I waltz so well! I go home in a state of unspeakable bliss; and
  Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
  David Copperfield
  waltz in imagination; all night long; with my arm round the blue
  waist of my dear divinity。 For some days afterwards; I am lost in
  rapturous reflections; but I neither see her in the street; nor when
  I call。 I am imperfectly consoled for this disappointment by the
  sacred pledge; the perished flower。
  ‘Trotwood;’ says Agnes; one day after dinner。 ‘Who do you think
  is going to be married tomorrow? Someone you admire。’
  ‘Not you; I suppose; Agnes?’
  ‘Not me!’ raising her cheerful face from the music she is
  copying。 ‘Do you hear him; Papa?—The eldest Miss Larkins。’
  ‘To—to Captain Bailey?’ I have just enough power to ask。
  ‘No; to no Captain。 To Mr。 Chestle; a hop…grower。’
  I am terribly dejected for about a week or two。 I take off my
  ring; I wear my worst clothes; I use no bear’s grease; and I
  frequently lament over the late Miss Larkins’s faded flower。 Being;
  by that time; rather tired of this kind of life; and having received
  new provocation from the butcher; I throw the flower away; go out
  with the butcher; and gloriously defeat him。
  This; and the resumption of my ring; as well as of the bear’s
  grease in moderation; are the last marks I can discern; now; in my
  progress to seventeen。
  Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
  David Copperfield
  Chapter 19
  I LOOK ABOUT ME; AND MAKE A DISCOVERY
  Iam doubtful whether I was at heart glad or sorry; when my
  school…days drew to an end; and the time came for my leaving
  Doctor Strong’s。 I had been very happy there; I had a great
  attachment for the Doctor; and I was eminent and distinguished in
  that little world。 For these reasons I was sorry to go; but for other
  reasons; unsubstantial enough; I was glad。 Misty ideas of being a
  young man at my own disposal; of the importance attaching to a
  young man at his own disposal; of the wonderful things to be seen
  and done by that magnificent animal; and the wonderful effects he
  could not fail to make upon society; lured me away。 So powerful
  were these visionary considerations in my boyish mind; that I
  seem; according to my present way of thinking; to have left school
  without natural regret。 The separation has not made the
  impression on me; that other separations have。 I try in vain to
  recall how I felt about it; and what its circumstances were; but it is
  not momentous in my recollection。 I suppose the opening prospect
  confused me。 I know that my juvenile experiences went for little or
  nothing then; and that life was more like a great fairy story; which
  I was just about to begin to read; than anything else。
  My aunt and I had held many grave deliberations on the calling
  to which I should be devoted。 For a year or more I had
  endeavoured to find a satisfactory answer to her often…repeated
  question; ‘What I would like to be?’ But I had no particular liking;
  that I could discover; for anything。 If I could have been inspired
  Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
  David Copperfield
  with a knowledge of the science of navigation; taken the command
  of a fast…sailing expedition; and gone round the world on a
  triumphant voyage of discovery; I think I might have considered
  myself completely suited。 But; in the absence of any such
  miraculous provision; my desire was to apply myself to some
  pursuit that would not lie too heavily upon her purse; and to do
  my duty in it; whatever it might be。
  Mr。 Dick had regularly assisted at our councils; with a
  meditative and sage demeanour。 He never made a suggestion but
  once; and on that occasion (I don’t know what put it in his head);
  he suddenly proposed that I should be ‘a Brazier’。 My aunt
  received this proposal so very ungraciously; that he never
  ventured on a second; but ever afterwards confined himself to