第 12 节
作者:
一米八 更新:2021-04-30 16:59 字数:9322
er hands were clasped round her knees。 It was evident that she was some one in hopeless trouble; and as such it was my duty to stop and speak。 I naturally addressed her first in Flemish; believing her to be one of the lower class of inhabitants。 She shook her head; but did not look up。 Then I tried French; and she replied in that language; but speaking it so indifferently; that I was sure she was either English or Irish; and consequently spoke to her in my own native tongue。 She recognized my voice; and; starting up; caught at my robes; dragging me before the blessed shrine; and throwing herself down; and forcing me; as much by her evident desire as by her action; to kneel beside her; she exclaimed:
〃'O Holy Virgin! you will never hearken to me again; but hear him; for you know him of old; that he does your bidding; and strives to heal broken hearts。 Hear him!'
〃She turned to me。
〃'She will hear you; if you will only pray。 She never hears ME: she and all the saints in heaven cannot hear my prayers; for the Evil One carries them off; as he carried that first away。 O; Father Bernard; pray for me!'
〃I prayed for one in sore distress; of what nature I could not say; but the Holy Virgin would know。 Bridget held me fast; gasping with eagerness at the sound of my words。 When I had ended; I rose; and; making the sign of the Cross over her; I was going to bless her in the name of the Holy Church; when she shrank away like some terrified creature; and said …
〃'I am guilty of deadly sin; and am not shriven。'
〃'Arise; my daughter;' said I; 'and come with me。' And I led the way into one of the confessionals of St。 Jaques。
〃She knelt; I listened。 No words came。 The evil powers had stricken her dumb; as I heard afterwards they had many a time before; when she approached confession。
〃She was too poor to pay for the necessary forms of exorcism; and hitherto those priests to whom she had addressed herself were either so ignorant of the meaning of her broken French; or her Irish… English; or else esteemed her to be one crazedas; indeed; her wild and excited manner might easily have led any one to thinkthat they had neglected the sole means of loosening her tongue; so that she might confess her deadly sin; and; after due penance; obtain absolution。 But I knew Bridget of old; and felt that she was a penitent sent to me。 I went through those holy offices appointed by our Church for the relief of such a case。 I was the more bound to do this; as I found that she had come to Antwerp for the sole purpose of discovering me; and making confession to me。 Of the nature of that fearful confession I am forbidden to speak。 Much of it you know; possibly all。
〃It now remains for her to free herself from mortal guilt; and to set others free from the consequences thereof。 No prayers; no masses; will ever do it; although they may strengthen her with that strength by which alone acts of deepest love and purest self…devotion may be performed。 Her words of passion; and cries for revengeher unholy prayers could never reach the ears of the holy saints! Other powers intercepted them; and wrought so that the curses thrown up to heaven have fallen on her own flesh and blood; and so; through her very strength of love; have brused and crushed her heart。 Henceforward her former self must be buried;yea; buried quick; if need be;but never more to make sign; or utter cry on earth! She has become a Poor Clare; in order that; by perpetual penance and constant service of others; she may at length so act as to obtain final absolution and rest for her soul。 Until then; the innocent must suffer。 It is to plead for the innocent that I come to you; not in the name of the witch; Bridget Fitzgerald; but of the penitent and servant of all men; the Poor Clare; Sister Magdalen。〃
〃Sir;〃 said I; 〃I listen to your request with respect; only I may tell you it is not needed to urge me to do all that I can on behalf of one; love for whom is part of my very life。 If for a time I have absented myself from her; it is to think and work for her redemption。 I; a member of the English Churchmy uncle; a Puritanpray morning and night for her by name: the congregations of London; on the next Sabbath; will pray for one unknown; that she may be set free from the Powers of Darkness。 Moreover; I must tell you; sir; that those evil ones touch not the great calm of her soul。 She lives her own pure and loving life; unharmed and untainted; though all men fall off from her。 I would I could have her faith!〃
My uncle now spoke。
〃Nephew;〃 said he; 〃it seems to me that this gentleman; although professing what I consider an erroneous creed; has touched upon the right point in exhorting Bridget to acts of love and mercy; whereby to wipe out her sin of hate and vengeance。 Let us strive after our fashion; by almsgiving and visiting of the needy and fatherless; to make our prayers acceptable。 Meanwhile; I myself will go down into the north; and take charge of the maiden。 I am too old to be daunted by man or demon。 I will bring her to this house as to a home; and let the Double come if it will! A company of godly divines shall give it the meeting; and we will try issue。〃
The kindly; brave old man! But Father Bernard sat on musing。
〃All hate;〃 said he; 〃cannot be quenched in her heart; all Christian forgiveness cannot have entered into her soul; or the demon would have lost its power。 You said; I think; that her grandchild was still tormented?〃
〃Still tormented!〃 I replied; sadly; thinking of Mistress Clarke's last letterHe rose to go。 We afterwards heard that the occasion of his coming to London was a secret political mission on behalf of the Jacobites。 Nevertheless; he was a good and a wise man。
Months and months passed away without any change。 Lucy entreated my uncle to leave her where she was;dreading; as I learnt; lest if she came; with her fearful companion; to dwell in the same house with me; that my love could not stand the repeated shocks to which I should be doomed。 And this she thought from no distrust of the strength of my affection; but from a kind of pitying sympathy for the terror to the nerves which she clearly observed that the demoniac visitation caused in all。
I was restless and miserable。 I devoted myself to good works; but I performed them from no spirit of love; but solely from the hope of reward and payment; and so the reward was never granted。 At length; I asked my uncle's leave to travel; and I went forth; a wanderer; with no distincter end than that of many another wandererto get away from myself。 A strange impulse led me to Antwerp; in spite of the wars and commotions then raging in the Low Countriesor rather; perhaps; the very craving to become interested in something external; led me into the thick of the struggle then going on with the Austrians。 The cities of Flanders were all full at that time of civil disturbances and rebellions; only kept down by force; and the presence of an Austrian garrison in every place。
I arrived in Antwerp; and made inquiry for Father Bernard。 He was away in the country for a day or two。 Then I asked my way to the Convent of Poor Clares; but; being healthy and prosperous; I could only see the dim; pent…up; gray walls; shut closely in by narrow streets; in the lowest part of the town。 My landlord told me; that had I been stricken by some loathsome disease; or in desperate case of any kind; the Poor Clares would have taken me; and tended me。 He spoke of them as an order of mercy of the strictest kind; dressing scantily in the coarsest materials; going barefoot; living on what the inhabitants of Antwerp chose to bestow; and sharing even those fragments and crumbs with the poor and helpless that swarmed all around; receiving no letters or communication with the outer world; utterly dead to everything but the alleviation of suffering。 He smiled at my inquiring whether I could get speech of one of them; and told me that they were even forbidden to speak for the purposes of begging their daily food; while yet they lived; and fed others upon what was given in charity。
〃But;〃 exclaimed I; 〃supposing all men forgot them! Would they quietly lie down and die; without making sign of their extremity?〃
〃If such were the rule the Poor Clares would willingly do it; but their founder appointed a remedy for such extreme cases as you suggest。 They have a bell'tis but a small one; as I have heard; and has yet never been rung in the memory man: when the Poor Clares have been without food for twenty…four hours; they may ring this bell; and then trust to our good people of Antwerp for rushing to the rescue of the Poor Clares; who have taken such blessed care of us in all our straits。〃
It seemed to me that such rescue would be late in the day; but I did not say what I thought。 I rather turned the conversation; by asking my landlord if he knew; or had ever heard; anything of a certain Sister Magdalen。
〃Yes;〃 said he; rather under his breath; 〃news will creep out; even from a convent of Poor Clares。 Sister Magdalen is either a great sinner or a great saint。 She does more; as I have heard; than all the other nuns put together; yet; when last month they would fain have made her mother…su