第 8 节
作者:九米      更新:2021-02-21 15:33      字数:9320
  him with; to herself)  Is that all; I wonder?
  CINESIAS  (misunderstanding)
  Surely。 there's nothing else。 Come; my treasure。
  MYRRHINE
  I am just unfastening my girdle。 But remember what you promised me
  about making peace; mind you keep your word。
  CINESIAS
  Yes; yes; upon my life I will。
  MYRRHINE
  Why; you have no blanket!
  CINESIAS
  My god; what difference does that make? What I want is to make
  love!
  MYRRHINE  (going out again)
  Never fear…directly; directly! I'll be back in no time。
  CINESIAS
  The woman will kill me with her blankets!
  MYRRHINE  (coming back with a blanket)
  Now; get yourself up。
  CINESIAS  (pointing)
  I've got this up!
  MYRRHINE
  Wouldn't you like me to scent you?
  CINESIAS
  No; by Apollo; no; please don't!
  MYRRHINE
  Yes; by Aphrodite; but I will; whether you like it or not。
  (She goes out again。)
  CINESIAS
  God; I wish she'd hurry up and get through with all this!
  MYRRHINE  (coming back with a flask of perfume)
  Hold out your hand; now rub it in。
  CINESIAS
  Oh! in Apollo's name; I don't much like the smell of it; but
  perhaps it will improve when it's well rubbed in。 It does not
  somehow smack of the marriage bed!
  MYRRHINE
  Oh dear! what a scatterbrain I am; if I haven't gone and brought
  Rhodian perfumes!
  CINESIAS
  Never mind; dearest; let it go now。
  MYRRHINE
  You don't really mean that。
  (She goes。)
  CINESIAS
  Damn the man who invented perfumes!
  MYRRHINE  (coming back with another flask)
  Here; take this bottle。
  CINESIAS
  I have a better one allready for you; darling。 Come; you provoking
  creature; to bed with you; and don't bring another thing。
  MYRRHINE
  Coming; coming; I'm just slipping off my shoes。 Dear boy; will you
  vote for peace?
  CINESIAS
  I'll think about it。  (MYRRHINE runs away。)  I'm a dead man; she
  is killing me! She has gone; and left me in torment!  (in tragic
  style)  I must have someone to lay; I must! Ah me! the loveliest of
  women has choused and cheated me。 Poor little lad; how am I to give
  you what you want so badly? Where is Cynalopex? quick; man; get him
  a nurse; do!
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  Poor; miserable wretch; baulked in your amorousness! what tortures
  are yours! Ah! you fill me with pity。 Could any man's back and loins
  stand such a strain。 He stands stiff and rigid; and there's never a
  wench to help him!
  CINESIAS
  Ye gods in heaven; what pains I suffer!
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  Well; there it is; it's her doing; that abandoned hussy!
  CINESIAS
  No; no! rather say that sweetest; dearest darling。
  (He departs。)
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  That dearest darling? no; no; that hussy; say I! Zeus; thou god of
  the skies; canst not let loose a hurricane; to sweep them all up
  into the air; and whirl them round; then drop them down crash! and
  impale them on the point of this man's tool!
  (A Spartan HERALD enters; he shows signs of being in the same
  condition as CINESIAS。)
  HERALD
  Say; where shall I find the Senate and the Prytanes? I am bearer
  of despatches。
  (An Athenian MAGISTRATE enters。)
  MAGISTRATE
  Are you a man or a Priapus?
  HERALD  (with an effort at officiousness)
  Don't be stupid! I am a herald; of course; I swear I am; and I
  come from Sparta about making peace。
  MAGISTRATE  (pointing)
  But look; you are hiding a lance under your clothes; surely。
  HERALD  (embarrassed)
  No; nothing of the sort。
  MAGISTRATE
  Then why do you turn away like that; and hold your cloak out
  from your body? Have you got swellings in the groin from your journey?
  HERALD
  By the twin brethren! the man's an old maniac。
  MAGISTRATE
  But you've got an erection! You lewd fellow!
  HERALD
  I tell you no! but enough of this foolery。
  MAGISTRATE  (pointing)
  Well; what is it you have there then?
  HERALD
  A Lacedaemonian 'skytale。'
  MAGISTRATE
  Oh; indeed; a 'skytale;' is it? Well; well; speak out frankly; I
  know all about these matters。 How are things going at Sparta now?
  HERALD
  Why; everything is turned upside down at Sparta; and all the
  allies have erections。 We simply must have Pellene。
  MAGISTRATE
  What is the reason of it all? Is it the god Pan's doing?
  HERALD
  No; it's all the work of Lampito and the women who are acting at
  her instigation; they have kicked the men out from between their
  thighs。
  MAGISTRATE
  But what are you doing about it?
  HERALD
  We are at our wits' end; we walk bent double; just as if we were
  carrying lanterns in a wind。 The jades have sworn we shall not so much
  as touch them till we have all agreed to conclude peace。
  MAGISTRATE
  Ah! I see now; it's a general conspiracy embracing all Greece。
  Go back to Sparta and bid them send envoys plenipotentiary to treat
  for peace。 I will urge our Senators myself to name plenipotentiaries
  from us; and to persuade them; why; I will show them my own tool。
  HERALD
  What could be better? I fly at your command。
  (They go out in opposite directions。)
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  No wild beast is there; no flame of fire; more fierce and
  untamable than woman; the leopard is less savage and shameless。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
  And yet you dare to make war upon me; wretch; when you might
  have me for your most faithful friend and ally。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  Never; never can my hatred cease towards women。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
  Well; suit yourself。 Still I cannot bear to leave you all naked as
  you are; folks would laugh at you。 Come; I am going to put this
  tunic on you。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  You are right; upon my word! it was only in my confounded fit of
  rage that I took it off。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
  Now at any rate you look like a man; and they won't make fun of
  you。 Ah! if you had not offended me so badly; I would take out that
  nasty insect you have in your eye for you。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  Ah! so that's what was annoying me so Look; here's a ring; just
  remove the insect; and show it to me。 By Zeus! it has been hurting
  my eye for a long time now。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
  Well; I agree; though your manners are not over and above
  pleasant。 Oh I what a huge great gnat! just look! It's from
  Tricorythus; for sure。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  A thousand thanks! the creature was digging a regular well in my
  eye; now that it's gone; my tears can flow freely。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
  I will wipe them for you…bad; naughty man though you are。 Now;
  just one kiss。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  A kiss? certainly not
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
  Just one; whether you like it or not。
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  Oh! those confounded women! how they do cajole us! How true the
  saying: 〃 'Tis impossible to live with the baggages; impossible to
  live without 'em!〃 Come; let us agree for the future not to regard
  each other any more as enemies; and to clinch the bargain; let us sing
  a choric song。
  COMBINED CHORUS OF WOMEN AND OLD MEN  (singing)
  We desire; Athenians; to speak ill of no man; but on the
  contrary to say much good of everyone; and to do the like。 We have had
  enough of misfortunes and calamities。 If there is any man or woman who
  wants a bit of money…two or three minas or so; well; our purse is
  full。 If only peace is concluded; the borrower will not have to pay
  back。 Also I'm inviting to supper a few Carystian friends; who are
  excellently well qualified。 I have still a drop of good soup left; and
  a young porker I'm going to kill; and the flesh will be sweet and
  tender。 I shall expect you at my house to…day; but first away to the
  baths with you; you and your children; then come all of you; ask no
  one's leave; but walk straight up; as if you were at home; never fear;
  the door will be。。。 shut in your faces!
  LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
  Ah! here come the envoys from Sparta with their long flowing
  beards; why; you would think they wore pigstyes between their thighs。
  (Enter the LACONIAN ENVOYS afflicted like their herald。)  Hail to you;
  first of all; Laconians; then tell us how you fare。