him　with；　to　herself）　　Is　that　all；　I　wonder？
  CINESIAS　　（misunderstanding）
  Surely。　there's　nothing　else。　Come；　my　treasure。
  MYRRHINE
  I　am　just　unfastening　my　girdle。　But　remember　what　you　promised　me
  about　making　peace；　mind　you　keep　your　word。
  CINESIAS
  Yes；　yes；　upon　my　life　I　will。
  MYRRHINE
  Why；　you　have　no　blanket！
  CINESIAS
  My　god；　what　difference　does　that　make？　What　I　want　is　to　make
  love！
  MYRRHINE　　（going　out　again）
  Never　fear…directly；　directly！　I'll　be　back　in　no　time。
  CINESIAS
  The　woman　will　kill　me　with　her　blankets！
  MYRRHINE　　（coming　back　with　a　blanket）
  Now；　get　yourself　up。
  CINESIAS　　（pointing）
  I've　got　this　up！
  MYRRHINE
  Wouldn't　you　like　me　to　scent　you？
  CINESIAS
  No；　by　Apollo；　no；　please　don't！
  MYRRHINE
  Yes；　by　Aphrodite；　but　I　will；　whether　you　like　it　or　not。
  （She　goes　out　again。）
  CINESIAS
  God；　I　wish　she'd　hurry　up　and　get　through　with　all　this！
  MYRRHINE　　（coming　back　with　a　flask　of　perfume）
  Hold　out　your　hand；　now　rub　it　in。
  CINESIAS
  Oh！　in　Apollo's　name；　I　don't　much　like　the　smell　of　it；　but
  perhaps　it　will　improve　when　it's　well　rubbed　in。　It　does　not
  somehow　smack　of　the　marriage　bed！
  MYRRHINE
  Oh　dear！　what　a　scatterbrain　I　am；　if　I　haven't　gone　and　brought
  Rhodian　perfumes！
  CINESIAS
  Never　mind；　dearest；　let　it　go　now。
  MYRRHINE
  You　don't　really　mean　that。
  （She　goes。）
  CINESIAS
  Damn　the　man　who　invented　perfumes！
  MYRRHINE　　（coming　back　with　another　flask）
  Here；　take　this　bottle。
  CINESIAS
  I　have　a　better　one　allready　for　you；　darling。　Come；　you　provoking
  creature；　to　bed　with　you；　and　don't　bring　another　thing。
  MYRRHINE
  Coming；　coming；　I'm　just　slipping　off　my　shoes。　Dear　boy；　will　you
  vote　for　peace？
  CINESIAS
  I'll　think　about　it。　　（MYRRHINE　runs　away。）　　I'm　a　dead　man；　she
  is　killing　me！　She　has　gone；　and　left　me　in　torment！　　（in　tragic
  style）　　I　must　have　someone　to　lay；　I　must！　Ah　me！　the　loveliest　of
  women　has　choused　and　cheated　me。　Poor　little　lad；　how　am　I　to　give
  you　what　you　want　so　badly？　Where　is　Cynalopex？　quick；　man；　get　him
  a　nurse；　do！
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  Poor；　miserable　wretch；　baulked　in　your　amorousness！　what　tortures
  are　yours！　Ah！　you　fill　me　with　pity。　Could　any　man's　back　and　loins
  stand　such　a　strain。　He　stands　stiff　and　rigid；　and　there's　never　a
  wench　to　help　him！
  CINESIAS
  Ye　gods　in　heaven；　what　pains　I　suffer！
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  Well；　there　it　is；　it's　her　doing；　that　abandoned　hussy！
  CINESIAS
  No；　no！　rather　say　that　sweetest；　dearest　darling。
  （He　departs。）
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  That　dearest　darling？　no；　no；　that　hussy；　say　I！　Zeus；　thou　god　of
  the　skies；　canst　not　let　loose　a　hurricane；　to　sweep　them　all　up
  into　the　air；　and　whirl　them　round；　then　drop　them　down　crash！　and
  impale　them　on　the　point　of　this　man's　tool！
  （A　Spartan　HERALD　enters；　he　shows　signs　of　being　in　the　same
  condition　as　CINESIAS。）
  HERALD
  Say；　where　shall　I　find　the　Senate　and　the　Prytanes？　I　am　bearer
  of　despatches。
  （An　Athenian　MAGISTRATE　enters。）
  MAGISTRATE
  Are　you　a　man　or　a　Priapus？
  HERALD　　（with　an　effort　at　officiousness）
  Don't　be　stupid！　I　am　a　herald；　of　course；　I　swear　I　am；　and　I
  come　from　Sparta　about　making　peace。
  MAGISTRATE　　（pointing）
  But　look；　you　are　hiding　a　lance　under　your　clothes；　surely。
  HERALD　　（embarrassed）
  No；　nothing　of　the　sort。
  MAGISTRATE
  Then　why　do　you　turn　away　like　that；　and　hold　your　cloak　out
  from　your　body？　Have　you　got　swellings　in　the　groin　from　your　journey？
  HERALD
  By　the　twin　brethren！　the　man's　an　old　maniac。
  MAGISTRATE
  But　you've　got　an　erection！　You　lewd　fellow！
  HERALD
  I　tell　you　no！　but　enough　of　this　foolery。
  MAGISTRATE　　（pointing）
  Well；　what　is　it　you　have　there　then？
  HERALD
  A　Lacedaemonian　'skytale。'
  MAGISTRATE
  Oh；　indeed；　a　'skytale；'　is　it？　Well；　well；　speak　out　frankly；　I
  know　all　about　these　matters。　How　are　things　going　at　Sparta　now？
  HERALD
  Why；　everything　is　turned　upside　down　at　Sparta；　and　all　the
  allies　have　erections。　We　simply　must　have　Pellene。
  MAGISTRATE
  What　is　the　reason　of　it　all？　Is　it　the　god　Pan's　doing？
  HERALD
  No；　it's　all　the　work　of　Lampito　and　the　women　who　are　acting　at
  her　instigation；　they　have　kicked　the　men　out　from　between　their
  thighs。
  MAGISTRATE
  But　what　are　you　doing　about　it？
  HERALD
  We　are　at　our　wits'　end；　we　walk　bent　double；　just　as　if　we　were
  carrying　lanterns　in　a　wind。　The　jades　have　sworn　we　shall　not　so　much
  as　touch　them　till　we　have　all　agreed　to　conclude　peace。
  MAGISTRATE
  Ah！　I　see　now；　it's　a　general　conspiracy　embracing　all　Greece。
  Go　back　to　Sparta　and　bid　them　send　envoys　plenipotentiary　to　treat
  for　peace。　I　will　urge　our　Senators　myself　to　name　plenipotentiaries
  from　us；　and　to　persuade　them；　why；　I　will　show　them　my　own　tool。
  HERALD
  What　could　be　better？　I　fly　at　your　command。
  （They　go　out　in　opposite　directions。）
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  No　wild　beast　is　there；　no　flame　of　fire；　more　fierce　and
  untamable　than　woman；　the　leopard　is　less　savage　and　shameless。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　WOMEN
  And　yet　you　dare　to　make　war　upon　me；　wretch；　when　you　might
  have　me　for　your　most　faithful　friend　and　ally。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  Never；　never　can　my　hatred　cease　towards　women。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　WOMEN
  Well；　suit　yourself。　Still　I　cannot　bear　to　leave　you　all　naked　as
  you　are；　folks　would　laugh　at　you。　Come；　I　am　going　to　put　this
  tunic　on　you。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  You　are　right；　upon　my　word！　it　was　only　in　my　confounded　fit　of
  rage　that　I　took　it　off。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　WOMEN
  Now　at　any　rate　you　look　like　a　man；　and　they　won't　make　fun　of
  you。　Ah！　if　you　had　not　offended　me　so　badly；　I　would　take　out　that
  nasty　insect　you　have　in　your　eye　for　you。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  Ah！　so　that's　what　was　annoying　me　so　Look；　here's　a　ring；　just
  remove　the　insect；　and　show　it　to　me。　By　Zeus！　it　has　been　hurting
  my　eye　for　a　long　time　now。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　WOMEN
  Well；　I　agree；　though　your　manners　are　not　over　and　above
  pleasant。　Oh　I　what　a　huge　great　gnat！　just　look！　It's　from
  Tricorythus；　for　sure。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  A　thousand　thanks！　the　creature　was　digging　a　regular　well　in　my
  eye；　now　that　it's　gone；　my　tears　can　flow　freely。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　WOMEN
  I　will　wipe　them　for　you…bad；　naughty　man　though　you　are。　Now；
  just　one　kiss。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  A　kiss？　certainly　not
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　WOMEN
  Just　one；　whether　you　like　it　or　not。
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  Oh！　those　confounded　women！　how　they　do　cajole　us！　How　true　the
  saying：　〃　'Tis　impossible　to　live　with　the　baggages；　impossible　to
  live　without　'em！〃　Come；　let　us　agree　for　the　future　not　to　regard
  each　other　any　more　as　enemies；　and　to　clinch　the　bargain；　let　us　sing
  a　choric　song。
  COMBINED　CHORUS　OF　WOMEN　AND　OLD　MEN　　（singing）
  We　desire；　Athenians；　to　speak　ill　of　no　man；　but　on　the
  contrary　to　say　much　good　of　everyone；　and　to　do　the　like。　We　have　had
  enough　of　misfortunes　and　calamities。　If　there　is　any　man　or　woman　who
  wants　a　bit　of　money…two　or　three　minas　or　so；　well；　our　purse　is
  full。　If　only　peace　is　concluded；　the　borrower　will　not　have　to　pay
  back。　Also　I'm　inviting　to　supper　a　few　Carystian　friends；　who　are
  excellently　well　qualified。　I　have　still　a　drop　of　good　soup　left；　and
  a　young　porker　I'm　going　to　kill；　and　the　flesh　will　be　sweet　and
  tender。　I　shall　expect　you　at　my　house　to…day；　but　first　away　to　the
  baths　with　you；　you　and　your　children；　then　come　all　of　you；　ask　no
  one's　leave；　but　walk　straight　up；　as　if　you　were　at　home；　never　fear；
  the　door　will　be。。。　shut　in　your　faces！
  LEADER　OF　CHORUS　OF　OLD　MEN
  Ah！　here　come　the　envoys　from　Sparta　with　their　long　flowing
  beards；　why；　you　would　think　they　wore　pigstyes　between　their　thighs。
  （Enter　the　LACONIAN　ENVOYS　afflicted　like　their　herald。）　　Hail　to　you；
  first　of　all；　Laconians；　then　tell　us　how　you　fare。