第 3 节
作者:疯狂热线      更新:2021-02-21 14:15      字数:9322
  England; who may keep and maintain it in peace。 By the Council it
  was with one consent entrusted; as I think; to Count Engres of
  Windsor; for till then they deemed no baron more loyal in all the
  king's land。 When this man had the land in his power; King Arthur
  and the queen and her ladies set out on the morrow。 In Brittany
  folk hear tell that the king and his barons are coming: the
  Bretons rejoice greatly thereat。
  Into the ship in which the king crossed entered neither youth nor
  maiden save Alexander alone; and the queen of a truth brought
  thither Soredamors; a lady who scorned Love。 Never had she heard
  tell of a man whom she could deign to love however much beauty
  prowess dominion or high rank he had。 And yet the damsel was so
  winsome and fair that she might well have known Love if it had
  pleased her to turn her mind to it; but never had she willed to
  bend her mind thereto。 Now will Love make her sorrowful; and Love
  thinks to avenge himself right well for the great pride and
  resistance which she has always shown to him。 Right well has Love
  aimed; for he has stricken her in the heart with his arrow。 Oft
  she grows pale; oft the beads of sweat break out; and in spite of
  herself she must love。 Scarce can she refrain from looking
  towards Alexander; but she must needs guard herself against my
  Lord Gawain her brother。 Dearly does she buy and pay for her
  great pride and her disdain。 Love has heated for her a bath which
  mightily inflames and enkindles her。 Now is he kind to her; now
  cruel; now she wants him; and now she rejects him。 She accuses
  her eyes of treachery and says: 〃Eyes; you have betrayed me。
  Through you has my heart which was wont to be faithful conceived
  hatred for me。 Now does what I see bring grief。 Grief? Nay; in
  truth; but rather pleasure。 And if I see aught that grieves me;
  still have I not my eyes under my own sway? My strength must
  indeed have failed me; and I must esteem myself but lightly if I
  cannot control my eyes and make them look elsewhere。 By so doing
  I shall be able to guard myself right well from Love; who wishes
  to be my master。 What the eye sees not the heart does not lament。
  If I do not see him there will be no pain。 He does not entreat or
  seek me: if he had loved me he would have sought me。 And since he
  neither loves nor esteems me; shall I love him if he loves me
  not? If his beauty draws my eyes; and my eyes obey the spell;
  shall I for that say I love him? Nay; for that would be a lie。 By
  drawing my eyes he has done me no wrong of which I can complain;
  and I can bring no charge at all against him。 One cannot love
  with the eyes。 And what wrong; then; have my eyes done to me if
  they gaze on what I will to look at? What fault and wrong do they
  commit? Ought I to blame them? Nay。 Whom; then? Myself; who have
  them in my keeping? My eye looks on nought unless it pleases and
  delights my heart。 My heart could not wish for aught that would
  make me sorrowful。 It is my heart's will that makes me sorrow。
  Sorrow? Faith; then; am I mad? since through my heart I desire
  that which makes me mad。 I ought ; indeed; if I can to rid myself
  of a will whence grief may come to me。 If I can? Fool; what have
  I said? Then were I weak indeed if I had no power over myself。
  Does Love think to put me in the way which is wont to mislead
  other folk? Thus may he lead others; but I am not his at all。
  Never shall I be so; never was I so; never shall I desire his
  further acquaintance。〃 Thus she disputes with herself; one hour
  loves and another hates。 She is in such doubt that she does not
  know which side to take。 She thinks she is defending herself
  against Love; but she is in no need of defence。 God! Why does she
  not know that the thoughts of Alexander; on his side; are
  directed towards her? Love deals out to them impartially such a
  portion as is meet for each。 He gives to them many a reason and
  ground that the one should love and desire the other。 This love
  would have been loyal and right if the one had known what was the
  will of the other; but he does not know what she desires; nor
  she; for what he is lamenting。 The queen watches them and sees
  the one and the other often lose colour and grow pale and sigh
  and shudder; but she knows not why they do it unless it be on
  account of the sea on which they are sailing。 Perhaps; indeed;
  she would have perceived it if the sea had not misled her; but it
  is the sea which baffles and deceives her so that amid the
  sea…sickness she sees not the heart…sickness。 For they are at
  sea; and heart…sickness is the cause of their plight; and
  heart…bitterness is the cause of the malady that grips them; but
  of these three the queen can only blame the sea; for
  heart…sickness and heart…bitterness lay the blame on the
  sea…sickness; and because of the third the two who are guilty get
  off scot…free。 He who is guiltless of fault or wrong often pays
  dear for the sin of another。 Thus the queen violently accuses the
  sea and blames it; but wrongly is the blame laid on the sea; for
  the sea has done therein no wrong。 Much sorrow has Soredamors
  borne ere the ship has come to port。 The king's coming is noised
  abroad; for the Bretons had great joy thereof and served him
  right willingly as their lawful lord。 I seek not to speak more at
  length of King Arthur at this time: rather shall ye hear me tell
  how Love torments the two lovers against whom he has taken the
  field。
  Alexander loves and desires her who is sighing for his love; but
  he knows not; and will not know aught of this until he shall have
  suffered many an ill and many a grief。 For love of her he serves
  the queen and the ladies of her chamber; but he does not dare to
  speak to or address her who is most in his mind。 If she had dared
  to maintain against him the right which she thinks is hers in the
  matter; willingly would he have told him of it; but she neither
  dares nor ought to do so。 And the fact that the one sees the
  other; and that they dare not speak or act; turns to great
  adversity for them; and love grows thereby and burns。 But it is
  the custom of all lovers that they willingly feed their eyes on
  looks if they can do no better; and think that because the source
  whence their love buds and grows delights them therefore it must
  help their case; whereas it injures them: just as the man who
  approaches and comes close to the fire burns himself more than
  the man who draws back from it。 Their love grows and increases
  continually; but the one feels shame before the other; and each
  conceals and hides this love so that neither flame nor smoke is
  seen from the gleed beneath the ashes。 But the heat is none the
  less for that; rather the heat lasts longer below the gleed than
  above it。 Both the lovers are in very great anguish; for in order
  that their complaint may not be known or perceived; each must
  deceive all men by false pretence; but in the night great is the
  plaint which each makes in solitude。
  First will I tell you of Alexander: how he complains and laments。
  Love brings before his mind the lady for whose sake he feels such
  Sorrow; for she has robbed him of his heart; and will not let him
  rest in his bed; so much it delights him to recall the beauty and
  the mien of her as to whom he dare not hope that ever joy of her
  may fall to his lot。 〃I may hold myself a fool;〃 quoth he。 〃A
  fool? Truly am I a fool; since I do not dare to say what I think;
  for quickly would it turn to my bane。 I have set my thought on
  folly。 Then is it not better for me to meditate in silence than
  to get myself dubbed a fool? Never shall my desire be known。 And
  shall I hide the cause of my grief; and not dare to seek help or
  succour for my sorrows? He who is conscious of weakness is a fool
  if he does not seek that by which he may have health if he can
  find it anywhere; but many a one thinks to gain his own advantage
  and to win what he desires; who pursues that whereof he sorrows
  later。 And why should he go to seek advice when he does not
  expect to find health? That were a vain toil! I feel my own ill
  so heavy a burden that never shall I find healing for it by
  medicine or by potion or by herb or by root。 There is not a
  remedy for every ill: mine is so rooted that it cannot be cured。
  Cannot? Methinks I have lied。 As soon as I first felt this evil;
  if I had dared to reveal and to tell it; I could have spoken to a
  leech; who could have helped me in the whole matter; but it is
  very grievous for me to speak out。 Perhaps they would not deign
  to listen and would refuse to accept a fee。 No wonder is it then
  if I am dismayed; for I have a great ill; and yet I do not know
  what ill it is which sways me nor do I know whence comes this
  pain。 I do not know? Yes; indeed; I think I know; Love makes me
  feel this evil。 How? Does Love; then; know how to do evil? Is he
  not kind and debonair? I thought that there would have been
  nought in Love which was not good; but I have found him very
  malicious。 He who has not put him to the test knows not with what
  games Love meddles。 He is a fool who goes to meet him; for always
  he wishes to burden his subjects。 Faith! his game is not at all a
  good one。 It is ill playing with him; for his sport will cause me
  sorrow。 What shall I do; then? Shall I