第 4 节
作者:点绛唇      更新:2021-02-20 16:44      字数:9322
  been the fast…flying messen… ger of a mistake。              There was much scoffing
  at the latter by those who had yesterday been firm adherents of his views;
  and there was even a lit… tle sneering by men who had never believed the
  rumor。     The tall one fought with a man from Chatfield Corners and beat
  him severely。
  The youth felt; however; that his problem was in no wise lifted from
  him。     There   was;   on   the   contrary;   an   irritating   prolongation。   The   tale
  had   created   in   him   a   great   concern   for   himself。   Now;   with   the   newborn
  question in his mind; he was compelled to sink back into his old place as
  part of a blue demonstration。
  For days he made ceaseless calculations; but they were all wondrously
  unsatisfactory。      He   found   that   he   could   establish   nothing。   He   final…   ly
  concluded that the only way to prove himself was to go into the blaze; and
  then figuratively to
  18   watch   his   legs   to   discover   their   merits   and   faults。   He   reluctantly
  admitted that he could not sit still and with a mental slate and pencil derive
  an answer。      To gain it; he must have blaze; blood; and danger; even as a
  chemist      requires    this;  that;   and   the   other。    So     he   fretted   for   an
  opportunity。
  Meanwhile he continually tried to measure himself by his   comrades。
  The tall soldier; for one; gave him some assurance。                This man's se… rene
  unconcern   dealt   him   a   measure   of   con…   fidence;   for   he   had   known   him
  since childhood; and from his intimate knowledge he did not see how he
  could be capable of anything that was beyond him; the youth。                      Still; he
  thought   that   his   comrade   might   be   mistaken   about   himself。   Or;   on   the
  other hand; he might be a man here… tofore doomed to peace and obscurity;
  but; in reality; made to shine in war。
  The    youth    would     have   liked   to   have   discov…    ered   another    who
  suspected   himself。      A  sympa…   thetic   comparison   of   mental   notes   would
  have been a joy to him。
  He occasionally tried to fathom  a comrade with seductive   sentences。
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  He looked about to find men in the proper mood。                   All attempts failed to
  bring   forth   any  statement   which   looked   in   any  way  like   a   confession   to
  those doubts which he privately acknowledged in himself。 He was afraid
  to make an open declaration of his concern; because he dreaded to place
  some unscrupulous confidant upon the high plane of the unconfessed from
  which elevation he could be derided。
  In regard to his companions his mind wa… vered between two opinions;
  according   to   his   mood。      Sometimes   he   inclined   to   believing        them   all
  heroes。     In fact; he usually admitted in secret the superior development of
  the   higher   qualities   in   others。   He   could   conceive   of   men   going   very
  insignificantly   about   the   world   bearing   a   load   of   courage   unseen;   and
  although   he   had   known   many   of   his   comrades   through   boyhood;   he   be…
  gan   to   fear   that   his   judgment   of   them   had   been   blind。  Then;   in   other
  moments; he   flouted these theories;  and   assured   himself   that   his   fellows
  were all privately wondering and quaking。
  His emotions made him feel strange in the presence of men who talked
  excitedly of a pro… spective battle as of a drama they were about to witness;
  with nothing but eagerness and curiosity apparent in their faces。                     It was
  often that he sus… pected them to be liars。
  He did not pass such thoughts without severe condemnation of himself。
  He   dinned   reproaches   at   times。      He   was   convicted   by   himself   of   many
  shameful crimes against the gods of traditions。
  In   his   great   anxiety   his   heart   was   continually   clamoring   at   what   he
  considered       the   intolerable    slowness     of   the   generals。     They     seemed
  content to perch tranquilly on the river bank; and leave him bowed down
  by the weight of a great prob… lem。             He wanted it settled forthwith。           He
  could   not   long   bear   such   a   load;   he   said。 Sometimes   his   anger   at   the
  commanders reached an acute stage; and he grumbled about the camp like
  a veteran。
  One morning; however; he found himself in the ranks of his prepared
  regiment。      The men were whispering speculations and recounting the old
  rumors。      In the gloom before the break of the day their uniforms glowed
  a deep purple hue。         From across the river the red eyes were still peering。
  In the eastern sky there was a yel… low patch like a rug laid for the feet of
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  the com… ing sun; and against it; black and patternlike; loomed the gigantic
  figure of the colonel on a gigantic horse。
  From off in the darkness came the trampling of feet。              The youth could
  occasionally see dark shadows that moved like monsters。                  The regi… ment
  stood at rest for what seemed a long time。 The youth grew impatient。                     It
  was   unendurable   the   way   these   affairs   were   managed。       He   won…   dered
  how long they were to be kept waiting。
  As he looked all about him and pondered upon the mystic gloom; he
  began to believe that at any moment the ominous distance might be aflare;
  and the rolling crashes of an engagement come to his ears。                  Staring once
  at the red eyes across the river; he conceived them to be grow… ing larger;
  as   the   orbs   of   a   row   of   dragons   ad…   vancing。 He   turned   toward   the
  colonel and saw him lift his gigantic arm and calmly stroke his mustache。
  At last he heard from along the road at the foot of the hill the clatter of
  a   horse's   galloping   hoofs。    It   must   be   the   coming   of   orders。 He   bent
  forward; scarce breathing。         The exciting clickety…click; as it grew louder
  and   louder;   seemed   to   be   beating   upon   his   soul。 Presently   a   horseman
  with   jangling   equipment   drew   rein   be…   fore   the   colonel   of   the   regiment。
  The     two   held   a  short;   sharp…worded      conversation。      The    men    in  the
  foremost ranks craned their necks。
  As the horseman wheeled his animal and gal… loped away he turned to
  shout over his shoulder; 〃Don't forget that box of cigars!〃                 The  colonel
  mumbled in reply。         The youth wondered what a box of cigars had to do
  with war。
  A moment later the regiment went swinging off into the darkness。                    It
  was now like one of those moving monsters wending with many feet。 The
  air was heavy; and cold with dew。             A mass of wet grass; marched upon;
  rustled like silk。
  There was an occasional flash and glimmer of steel from the backs of
  all   these   huge   crawl…   ing   reptiles。 From   the   road   came   creakings   and
  grumblings as some surly guns were dragged away。
  The men stumbled along still muttering specu… lations。                 There was a
  subdued debate。        Once a man fell down; and as he reached for his rifle a
  comrade; unseeing; trod upon his hand。              He of the injured fingers swore
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  bitterly and aloud。       A low; tittering laugh went among his fellows。
  Presently they passed into a roadway and marched forward with easy
  strides。    A dark regiment moved before them; and from behind also came
  the tinkle of equipments on the bodies of marching men。
  The rushing yellow of the developing day went on behind their backs。
  When the sunrays at last struck full and mellowingly upon the earth; the
  youth   saw   that   the   landscape   was   streaked   with   two   long;   thin;   black
  columns   which   disappeared   on   the   brow   of   a   hill   in   front   and   rearward
  vanished   in   a   wood。      They   were   like   two   serpents   crawling   from   the
  cavern of the night。
  The river was not in view。          The tall soldier burst into praises of what
  he thought to be his powers of perception。
  Some of the tall one's companions cried with emphasis that they; too;
  had   evolved   the   same   thing;   and   they   congratulated   themselves   upon   it。
  But there were others who said that the tall one's plan was not the true one
  at   all。  They     per…   sist