第 10 节
作者:童舟      更新:2021-02-20 15:23      字数:9322
  GOD; THE EVERLASTING  FATHER; THE PRINCE OF PEACE; etc。  Isa。 ix。 6。
  123。  Also besides these teachings of God in His word; the Lord  made use of two things to confirm me in this truth; the one was the  errors of the Quakers and the other was the guilt of sin; for as  the Quakers did oppose this truth; so God did the more confirm me  in it; by leading me into the scripture that did wonderfully  maintain it。
  124。 The errors that this people then maintained; were:…
  '1。  That the holy scriptures were not the word of God。
  '2。  That every man in the world had the spirit of Christ; grace;  faith; etc。
  '3。  That Christ Jesus; as crucified; and dying sixteen hundred  years ago; did not satisfy divine justice for the sins of the  people。
  '4。  That Christ's flesh and blood were within the saints。
  '5。  That the bodies of the good and bad that are buried in the  church…yard; shall not arise again。
  '6。  That the resurrection is past with good men already。
  '7。  That that man Jesus; that was crucified between two thieves;  on mount CALVARY; in the land of CANAAN; by JERUSALEM; was not  ascended above the starry heavens。
  '8。  That He should not; even the same Jesus that died by the hands  of the Jews; come again at the last day; and as man; judge all  nations;' etc。
  125。  Many more vile and abominable things were in those days  fomented by them; by which I was driven to a more narrow search of  the scriptures; and was through their light and testimony; not only  enlightened; but greatly confirmed and comforted in the truth:   And; as I said; the guilt of sin did help me much; for still as  that would come upon me; the blood of Christ did take it off again;  and again; and again; and that too sweetly; according to the  scripture。  O FRIENDS! CRY TO GOD TO REVEAL JESUS CHRIST UNTO YOU;  THERE IS NONE TEACHETH LIKE HIM。
  126。  It would be too long here to stay; to tell you in particular;  how God did set me down in all the things of Christ; and how He  did; that He might so do; lead me into His words; yea; and also how  He did open them unto me; and make them shine before me; and cause  them to dwell with me; talk with me; and comfort me over and over;  both of His own being; and the being of His Son; and Spirit; and  word; and gospel。
  127。  Only this; as I said before; I will say unto you again; that  in general; He was pleased to take this course with me; first; to  suffer me to be afflicted with temptations concerning them; and  then reveal them unto me; as sometimes I should lie under great  guilt for sin; even crushed to the ground therewith; and then the  Lord would show me the death of Christ; yea; so sprinkle my  conscience with His blood; that I should find; and that before I  was aware; that in that conscience; where but just now did reign  and rage the law; even there would rest and abide the peace and  love of God; through Christ。
  128。  Now I had an evidence; as I thought; of my salvation; from  heaven; with many golden seals thereon; all hanging in my sight。   Now could I remember this manifestation; and the other discovery of  grace; with comfort; and should often long and desire that the last  day were come; that I might be for ever inflamed with the sight;  and joy; and communion of Him; Whose head was crowned with thorns;  Whose face was spit upon; and body broken; and soul made an  offering for my sins。  For whereas before I lay continually  trembling at the mouth of hell; now methought I was got so far  therefrom; that I could not; when I looked back; scarce discern it!   And oh! thought I; that I were fourscore years old now; that I  might die quickly; that my soul might be gone to rest。
  129。  But before I had got thus far out of these my temptations; I  did greatly long to see some ancient godly man's experience; who  had writ some hundreds of years before I was born; for those who  had writ in our days; I thought (but I desire them now to pardon  me) that they had writ only that which others felt; or else had;  through the strength of their wits and parts; studied to answer  such objections as they perceived others were perplexed with;  without going down themselves into the deep。  Well; after many such  longings in my mind; the God; in Whose hands are all our days and  ways; did cast into my hand (one day) a book OF MARTIN LUTHER'S; it  was his Comment on the GALATIANS; it also was so old; that it was  ready to fall piece from piece if I did but turn it over。  Now I  was pleased much that such an old book had fallen into my hand; the  which when I had but a little way perused; I found my condition in  his experience so largely and profoundly handled; as if his book  had been written out of my heart。  This made me marvel:  for thus  thought I; THIS MAN COULD NOT KNOW ANY THING OF THE STATE OF  CHRISTIANS NOW; BUT MUST NEEDS WRITE AND SPEAK THE EXPERIENCE OF  FORMER DAYS。
  130。  Besides; he doth most gravely also in that book; debate of  the rise of these temptations; namely; blasphemy; desperation; and  the like; showing that the law of MOSES; as well as the devil;  death; and hell; hath a very great hand therein:  the which; at  first; was very strange to me; but considering and watching; I  found it so indeed。  But of particulars here; I intend nothing;  only this methinks I must let fall before all men … I do prefer  this book of MARTIN LUTHER upon the GALATIANS (excepting the Holy  Bible) before all the books that ever I had seen; as most fit for a  wounded conscience。
  131。  And now I found; as I thought; that I loved Christ dearly:   Oh! methought my soul cleaved unto Him; my affections cleaved unto  Him; I felt love to Him as hot as fire; and now; as JOB said; I  THOUGHT I SHOULD DIE IN MY NEST; but I did quickly find; that my  great love was but little; and that I; who had; as I thought; such  burning love to Jesus Christ; could let Him go again for a very  trifle; … God can tell how to abase us; and can hide pride from  man。  Quickly after this my love was tried to purpose。
  132。  For after the Lord had; in this manner; thus graciously  delivered me from this great and sore temptation; and had set me  down so sweetly in the faith of His holy gospel; and had given me  such strong consolation and blessed evidence from heaven; touching  my interest in His love through Christ; the tempter came upon me  again; and that with a more grievous and dreadful temptation than  before。
  133。 And that was; TO SELL AND PART WITH THIS MOST BLESSED CHRIST;  TO EXCHANGE HIM FOR THE THINGS OF THIS LIFE; FOR ANY THING。  The  temptation lay upon me for the space of a year; and did follow me  so continually; that I was not rid of it one day in a month:  no;  not sometimes one hour in many days together; unless when I was  asleep。
  134。  And though; in my judgment; I was persuaded; that those who  were once effectually in Christ (as I hoped; through His grace; I  had seen myself) could never lose Him for ever; THE LAND SHALL NOT  BE SOLD FOR EVER; FOR THE LAND IS MINE; saith God。  Lev。 xxv。 23。   Yet it was a continual vexation to me; to think that I should have  so much as one such thought within me against a Christ; a Jesus;  that had done for me as He had done; and yet then I had almost none  others; but such blasphemous ones。
  135。  But it was neither my dislike of the thought; nor yet any  desire and endeavour to resist; that in the least did shake or  abate the continuation or force and strength thereof; for it did  always; in almost whatever I thought; intermix itself therewith; in  such sort; that I could neither eat my food; stoop for a pin; chop  a stick; or cast mine eye to look on this or that; but still the  temptation would come; SELL CHRIST FOR THIS; OR SELL CHRIST FOR  THAT; SELL HIM; sELL HIM。
  136。  Sometimes it would run in my thoughts; not so little as a  hundred times together; SELL HIM; SELL HIM; SELL HIM:  against  which; I may say; for whole hours together; I have been forced to  stand as continually leaning and forcing my spirit against it; lest  haply; before I were aware; some wicked thought might arise in my  heart; that might consent thereto; and sometimes the tempter would  make me believe I had consented to it; but then I should be; as  tortured upon a rack for whole days together。
  137。  This temptation did put me to such scares; lest I should at  some times; I say; consent thereto; and be overcome therewith; that  by the very force of my mind; in labouring to gainsay and resist  this wickedness; my very body would be put into action or motion;  by way of pushing or thrusting with my hands or elbows; still  answering; as fast as the destroyer said; SELL HIM; I WILL NOT; I  WILL NOT; I WILL NOT; I WILL NOT; NO; NOT FOR THOUSANDS; THOUSANDS;  THOUSANDS OF WORLDS:  thus reckoning; lest I should; in the midst  of these assaults; set too low a value on Him; even until I scarce  well knew where I was; or how to be composed again。
  138。  At these seasons he would not let me eat my food at quiet;  but; forsooth; when I was set at the table at my meat; I must go  hence to pray; I must leave my food now; just now; so counterfeit  holy also would this devil be。  When I was thus tempted; I would  say in myself; NOW I AM AT MEAT; LET ME MAKE AN END。  NO; said he;  YOU M