第 9 节
作者:童舟      更新:2021-02-20 15:23      字数:9322
  e audience of the holy angels; THIS POOR SIMPLE WRETCH  DOTH HANKER AFTER ME; AS IF I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MERCY; BUT  TO BESTOW IT ON SUCH AS HE。  ALAS; POOR SOUL! HOW ART THOU  DECEIVED!  IT IS NOT FOR SUCH AS THEE TO HAVE FAVOUR WITH THE  HIGHEST。
  110。  Then hath the tempter come upon me; also; with such  discouragements as these:  YOU ARE VERY HOT FOR MERCY; BUT I WILL  COOL YOU; THIS FRAME SHALL NOT LAST ALWAYS:  MANY HAVE BEEN AS HOT  AS YOU FOR A SPURT; BUT I HAVE QUENCHED THEIR ZEAL (and with this;  such and such; who were fallen off; would be set before mine eyes)。   Then I should be afraid that I should do so too:  But; thought I; I  am glad this comes into my mind:  well; I will watch; and take what  care I can。  THOUGH YOU DO; said Satan; I SHALL BE TOO HARD FOR  YOU; I WILL COOL YOU INSENSIBLY; BY DEGREES; BY LITTLE AND LITTLE。   WHAT CARE I; saith he; THOUGH I BE SEVEN YEARS IN CHILLING YOUR  HEART; IF I CAN DO IT AT LAST?  CONTINUAL ROCKING WILL LULL A  CRYING CHILD ASLEEP:  I WILL PLY IT CLOSE; BUT I WILL HAVE MY END  ACCOMPLISHED。  THOUGH YOU BE BURNING HOT AT PRESENT; I CAN PULL YOU  FROM THIS FIRE; I SHALL HAVE YOU COLD BEFORE IT BE LONG。
  111。  These things brought me into great straits; for as I at  present could not find myself fit for present death; so I thought;  to live long; would make me yet more unfit; for time would make me  forget all; and wear even the remembrance of the evil of sin; the  worth of heaven; and the need I had of the blood of Christ to wash  me; both out of mind and thought:  but I thank Christ Jesus; these  things did not at present make me slack my crying; but rather did  put me more upon it (LIKE HER WHO MET WITH ADULTERER; Deut。 xxii。  26); in which days that was a good word to me; after I had suffered  these things a while:… I AM PERSUADED THAT NEITHER DEATH; NOR LIFE;  ETC。; SHALL BE ABLE TO SEPARATE US FROM THE LOVE OF GOD WHICH IS IN  CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD。  Rom。 viii。 38; 39。  And now I hoped long  life would not destroy me; nor make me miss of heaven。
  112。  Yet I had some supports in this temptation; though they were  then all questioned by me; that in JER。 III。 at the first was  something to me; and so was the consideration of verse 5 of that  chapter; that though we have spoken and done as evil things as we  could; yet we should cry unto God; MY FATHER; THOU ART THE GUIDE OF  MY YOUTH; and shall return unto Him。
  113。  I had; also; once a sweet glance from that in 2 Cor。 v。 21:   FOR HE HATH MADE HIM TO BE SIN FOR US; WHO KNEW NO SIN; THAT WE  MIGHT BE MADE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD IN HIM。  I remember that one  day; as I was sitting in a neighbour's house; and there very sad at  the consideration of my many blasphemies; and as I was saying in my  mind; WHAT GROUND HAVE I TO SAY THAT; WHO HAVE BEEN SO VILE AND  ABOMINABLE; SHOULD EVER INHERIT ETERNAL LIFE?  That word came  suddenly upon me; WHAT SHALL WE SAY TO THESE THINGS?  IF GOD BE FOR  US; WHO CAN BE AGAINST US? Rom。 viii。 31。  That also was an help  unto me; BECAUSE I LIVE; YE SHALL LIVE ALSO。  John xiv。 19。  But  these words were but hints; touches; and short visits; though very  sweet when present; only they lasted not; but; LIKE TO Peter's  SHEET; OF A SUDDEN WERE CAUGHT UP FROM ME; TO HEAVEN AGAIN。  Acts  x。 16。
  114。  But afterwards the Lord did more fully and graciously  discover Himself unto me; and indeed; did quite; not only deliver  me from the guilt that; by these things was laid upon my  conscience; but also from the very filth thereof; for the  temptation was removed; and I was put into my right mind again; as  other Christians were。
  115。  I remember that one day; as I was travelling into the  country; and musing on the wickedness and blasphemy of my heart;  and considering the enmity that was in me to God; that scripture  came into my mind; HAVING MADE PEACE THROUGH THE BLOOD OF HIS  CROSS。  Col。 i。 20。  By which I was made to see; both again and  again; that God and my soul were friends by His blood; yea; I saw  that the justice of God; and my sinful soul could embrace and kiss  each other; through His blood。  This was a good day to me; I hope I  shall never forget it。
  116。  At another time; as I sat by the fire in my house; and was  musing on my wretchedness; the Lord made that also a precious word  unto me; FORASMUCH THEN AS THE CHILDREN ARE PARTAKERS OF FLESH AND  BLOOD; HE ALSO HIMSELF LIKEWISE TOOK PART OF THE SAME; THAT THROUGH  DEATH HE MIGHT DESTROY HIM THAT HAD THE POWER OF DEATH; THAT IS THE  DEVIL; AND DELIVER THOSE WHO THROUGH FEAR OF DEATH; WERE ALL THEIR  LIFETIME SUBJECT TO BONDAGE。  Heb。 ii。 14; 15。  I thought that the  glory of these words was then so weighty on me; that I was both  once and twice ready to swoon as I sate; yet not with grief and  trouble; but with solid joy and peace。
  117。  At this time also I sate under of holy Mr GIFFORD; whose  doctrine; by God's grace; was much for my stability。  This man made  it much his business to deliver the people of God from all those  false and unsound tests; that by nature we are prone to。  He would  bid us take special heed; that we took not up any truth upon trust;  as from this; or that; or any other man or men; but to cry mightily  to God; that He would convince us of the reality thereof; and set  us down therein by His own Spirit in the holy word; FOR; said he;  IF YOU DO OTHERWISE; WHEN TEMPTATIONS COME; IF STRONGLY; YOU NOT  HAVING RECEIVED THEM WITH EVIDENCE FROM HEAVEN; WILL FIND YOU WANT  THAT HELP AND STRENGTH NOW TO RESIST; THAT ONCE YOU THOUGHT YOU  HAD。
  118。  This was as seasonable to my soul; as the former and latter  rains in their season (for I had found; and that by sad experience;  the truth of these his words:  for I had felt NO MAN CAN SAY;  especially when tempted by the devil; THAT JESUS CHRIST IS LORD;  BUT BY THE HOLY GHOST)。  Wherefore I found my soul; through grace;  very apt to drink in this doctrine; and to incline to pray to God;  that in nothing that pertained to God's glory; and my own eternal  happiness; He would suffer me to be without the confirmation  thereof from heaven; for now I saw clearly; there was an exceeding  difference betwixt the notion of the flesh and blood; and the  revelations of God in heaven:  also a great difference betwixt that  faith that is feigned; and according to man's wisdom; and that  which comes by a man's being born thereto of God。  Matt。 xvi。 15; 1  John v。 1。
  119。  But; oh! now; how was my soul led from truth to truth by God!   Even from the birth and cradle of the Son of God; to His accession;  and second coming from heaven to judge the world!
  120。  Truly; I then found; upon this account; the great God was  very good unto me; for; to my remembrance; there was not any thing  that I then cried unto God to make known; and reveal unto me; but  He was pleased to do it for me; I mean; not one part of the gospel  of the Lord Jesus; but I was orderly led into it:  methought I saw  with great evidence; from the relation of the four evangelists; the  wonderful work of God; in giving Jesus Christ to save us; from His  conception and birth; even to His second coming to judgment:   methought I was as if I had seen Him born; as if I had seen Him  grow up; as if I had seen Him walk through this world; from the  cradle to the cross; to which also; when He came; I saw how gently  He gave Himself to be hanged; and nailed on it for my sins and  wicked doings。  Also as I was musing on this His progress; that  dropped on my spirit; HE WAS ORDAINED FOR THE SLAUGHTER。  1 Peter  i。 12; 20。
  121。  When I have considered also the truth of His resurrection;  and have remembered that word; TOUCH ME NOT; MARY; etc。; I have  seen as if He had leaped out of the grave's mouth; for joy that He  was risen again; and had got the conquest over our dreadful foes。   John xx。 17。  I have also in the spirit; seen Him a man; on the  right hand of God the Father for me; and have seen the manner of  His coming from heaven; to judge the world with glory; and have  been confirmed in these things by these scriptures following; Acts  i。 9; 10; and vii。 56; and x。 42; Heb。 vii。 24 and ix。 28; Rev。 i。  18; 1 Thess。 iv。 17; 18。
  112。  Once I was troubled to know whether the Lord Jesus was man as  well as God; and God as well as man:  and truly; in those days; let  men say what they would; unless I had it with evidence from heaven;  all was nothing to me; I counted myself not set down in any truth  of God。  Well; I was much troubled about this point; and could not  tell how to be resolved; at last; that in Rev。 v。 6 came into my  mind:  AND I BEHELD; AND; TO; IN THE MIDST OF THE THRONE; AND OF  THE FOUR BEASTS; AND IN THE MIDST OF THE ELDERS; STOOD A LAMB; AS  IT HAD BEEN SLAIN。  In the midst of the throne; thought I; there is  the Godhead; in the midst of the elders; there is His manhood; but;  oh! methought this did glister!  It was a goodly touch; and gave me  sweet satisfaction。  That other scripture also did help me much in  this; FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN; UNTO US A SON IS GIVEN; AND THE  GOVERNMENT SHALL BE UPON HIS SHOULDER:  AND HIS NAME SHALL BE  CALLED WONDERFUL; COUNSELLOR; THE MIGHTY GOD; THE EVERLASTING  FATHER; THE PRINCE OF PEACE; etc。  Isa。 ix。 6。
  123。  Also besides these te