Phoebus！　Hail！　thou　blessed　son　of　Leto。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Oh！　ye　venerable　Genetyllides；　what　tender　and　voluptuous　songs！
  They　surpass　the　most　lascivious　kisses　in　sweetness；　I　feel　a
  thrill　of　delight　pass　up　me　as　I　listen　to　them。　（To　EURIPIDES）　Young
  man；　if　you　are　one；　answer　my　questions；　which　I　am　borrowing　from
  Aeschylus'　〃Lycurgeia。〃　Whence　comes　this　androgyne？　What　is　his
  country？　his　dress？　What　contradictions　his　life　shows！　A　lyre　and　a
  hair…net！　A　wrestling　school　oil　flask　and　a　girdle！　What　could　be
  more　contradictory？　What　relation　has　a　mirror　to　a　sword？　（To
  AGATHON）　And　you　yourself；　who　are　you？　Do　you　pretend　to　be　a　man？
  Where　is　your　tool；　pray？　Where　is　the　cloak；　the　footgear　that　belong
  to　that　sex？　Are　you　a　woman？　Then　where　are　your　breasts？　Answer
  me。　But　you　keep　silent。　Oh！　just　as　you　choose；　your　songs　display
  your　character　quite　sufficiently。
  AGATHON
  Old　man；　old　man；　I　hear　the　shafts　of　jealousy　whistling　by　my
  ears；　but　they　do　not　hit　me。　My　dress　is　in　harmony　with　my　thoughts。
  A　poet　must　adopt　the　nature　of　his　characters。　Thus；　if　he　is　placing
  women　on　the　stage；　he　must　contract　all　their　habits　in　his　own
  person。
  MNESILOCHUS　（aside）
  Then　you　make　love　horse…fashion　when　you　are　composing　a　Phaedra。
  AGATHON
  If　the　heroes　are　men；　everything　in　him　will　be　manly。　What　we
  don't　possess　by　nature；　we　must　acquire　by　imitation。
  MNESILOCHUS　（aside）
  When　you　are　staging　Satyrs；　call　me；　I　will　do　my　best　to　help
  you　from　behind；　if　I　can　get　my　tool　up。
  AGATHON
  Besides；　it　is　bad　taste　for　a　poet　to　be　coarse　and　hairy。　Look
  at　the　famous　Ibycus；　at　Anacreon　of　Teos；　and　at　Alcaeus；　who　handled
  music　so　well；　they　wore　head…bands　and　found　pleasure　in　the
  lascivious　dances　of　Ionia。　And　have　you　not　heard　what　a　dandy
  Phrynichus　was　and　how　careful　in　his　dress？　For　this　reason　his
  pieces　were　also　beautiful；　for　the　works　of　a　poet　are　copied　from
  himself。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Ah！　so　it　is　for　this　reason　that　Philocles；　who　is　so　hideous；
  writes　hideous　pieces；　Xenocles；　who　is　malicious；　malicious　ones；　and
  Theognis；　who　is　cold；　such　cold　ones？
  AGATHON
  Yes；　necessarily　and　unavoidably；　and　it　is　because　I　knew　this
  that　I　have　so　well　cared　for　my　person。
  MNESILOCHUS
  How；　in　the　gods'　name？
  EURIPIDES
  Come；　leave　off　badgering　him；　I　was　just　the　same　at　his　age；
  when　I　began　to　write。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Ah！　then；　by　Zeus！　I　don't　envy　you　your　fine　manners。
  EURIPIDES　（to　AGATHON）
  But　listen　to　the　cause　that　brings　me　here。
  AGATHON
  Say　on。
  EURIPIDES
  Agathon；　wise　is　he　who　can　compress　many　thoughts　into　few　words。
  Struck　by　a　most　cruel　misfortune；　I　come　to　you　as　a　suppliant。
  AGATHON
  What　are　you　asking？
  EURIPIDES
  The　women　purpose　killing　me　to…day　during　the　Thesmophoria；
  because　I　have　dared　to　speak　ill　of　them。
  AGATHON
  And　what　can　I　do　for　you　in　the　matter？
  EURIPIDES
  Everything。　Mingle　secretly　with　the　women　by　making　yourself　pass
  as　one　of　themselves；　then　do　you　plead　my　cause　with　your　own　lips；
  and　I　am　saved。　You；　and　you　alone；　are　capable　of　speaking　of　me
  worthily。
  AGATHON
  But　why　not　go　and　defend　yourself？
  EURIPIDES
  Impossible。　First　of　all；　I　am　known；　further；　I　have　white　hair
  and　a　long　beard；　whereas　you；　you　are　good…looking；　charming；　and　are
  close…shaven；　you　are　fair；　delicate；　and　have　a　woman's　voice。
  AGATHON
  Euripides！
  EURIPIDES
  Well？
  AGATHON
  Have　you　not　said　in　one　of　your　pieces；　〃You　love　to　see　the
  light；　and　don't　you　believe　your　father　loves　it　too？〃
  EURIPIDES
  Yes。
  AGATHON
  Then　never　you　think　I　am　going　to　expose　myself　in　your　stead；　it
  would　be　madness。　It's　up　to　you　to　submit　to　the　fate　that
  overtakes　you；　one　must　not　try　to　trick　misfortune；　but　resign
  oneself　to　it　with　good　grace。
  MNESILOCHUS
  You　fairy！　That's　why　your　arse　is　so　accessible　to　lovers。
  EURIPIDES
  But　what　prevents　your　going　there？
  AGATHON
  I　should　run　more　risk　than　you　would。
  EURIPIDES
  Why？
  AGATHON
  Why？　I　should　look　as　if　I　were　wanting　to　trespass　on　secret
  nightly　pleasures　of　the　women　and　to　rape　their　Aphrodite。
  MNESILOCHUS　（aside）
  Wanting　to　rape　indeed！　you　mean　wanting　to　be　raped。　Ah！　great
  gods！　a　fine　excuse　truly！
  EURIPIDES
  Well　then；　do　you　agree？
  AGATHON
  Don't　count　upon　it。
  EURIPIDES
  Oh！　I　am　unfortunate　indeed！　I　am　undone！
  MNESILOCHUS
  Euripides；　my　friend；　my　son…in…law；　never　despair。
  EURIPIDES
  What　can　be　done？
  MNESILOCHUS
  Send　him　to　the　devil　and　do　with　me　as　you　like。
  EURIPIDES
  Very　well　then；　since　you　devote　yourself　to　my　safety；　take　off
  your　cloak　first。
  MNESILOCHUS
  There；　it　lies　on　the　ground。　But　what　do　you　want　to　do　with　me？
  EURIPIDES
  To　shave　off　this　beard　of　yours；　and　to　remove　all　your　other
  hair　as　well。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Do　what　you　think　fit；　I　yield　myself　entirely　to　you。
  EURIPIDES
  Agathon；　you　always　have　razors　about　you；　lend　me　one。
  AGATHON
  Take　it　yourself；　there；　out　of　that　case。
  EURIPIDES
  Thanks。　（To　MNESILOCHUS）　Now　sit　down　and　puff　out　your　right
  cheek。
  MNESILOCHUS　（as　he　is　being　shaved）
  Ow！　Ow！　Ow！
  EURIPIDES
  What　are　you　houting　for？　I'll　cram　a　spit　down　your　gullet；　if
  you're　not　quiet。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Ow！　Ow！　Ow！　Ow！　Ow！　（He　jumps　up　and　starts　running　away。）
  EURIPIDES
  Where　are　you　running　to　now？
  MNESILOCHUS
  To　the　temple　of　the　Eumenides。　No；　by　Demeter！　I　won't　let　myself
  be　gashed　like　that。
  EURIPIDES
  But　you　will　get　laughed　at；　with　your　face　half…shaven　like　that。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Little　care　I。
  EURIPIDES
  In　the　gods'　names；　don't　leave　me　in　the　lurch。　Come　here。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Oh！　by　the　gods！　（He　turns　reluctantly　and　resumes　his　seat。）
  EURIPIDES
  Keep　still　and　hold　up　your　head。　Why　do　you　want　to　fidget
  about　like　this？
  MNESILOCHUS
  Mm；　mm。
  EURIPIDES
  Well！　why　mm；　mm？　There！　it's　done　and　well　done　too！
  MNESILOCHUS
  Alas；　I　shall　fight　without　armour。
  EURIPIDES
  Don't　worry；　you　look　charming。　Do　you　want　to　see　yourself？
  MNESILOCHUS
  Yes；　I　do；　hand　the　mirror　here。
  EURIPIDES
  Do　you　see　yourself？
  MNESILOCHUS
  But　this　is　not　I；　it　is　Clisthenes！
  EURIPIDES
  Stand　up；　I　am　now　going　to　remove　your　hair。　Bend　down。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Alas！　alas！　they　are　going　to　grill　me　like　a　pig。
  EURIPIDES
  Come　now；　a　torch　or　a　lamp！　Bend　down　and　watch　out　for　the
  tender　end　of　your　tool！
  MNESILOCHUS
  Aye；　aye！　but　I'm　afire！　oh！　oh！　Water；　water；　neighbour；　or　my
  perineum　will　be　alight！
  EURIPIDES
  Keep　up　your　courage！
  MNESILOCHUS
  Keep　my　courage；　when　I'm　being　burnt　up？
  EURIPIDES
  Come；　cease　your　whining；　the　worst　is　over。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Oh！　it's　quite　black；　all　burnt　down　there！
  EURIPIDES
  Don't　worry！　Satyrus　will　wash　it。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Woe　to　him　who　dares　to　wash　me！
  EURIPIDES
  Agathon；　you　refuse　to　devote　yourself　to　helping　me；　but　at　any
  rate　lend　me　a　tunic　and　a　belt。　You　cannot　say　you　have　not　got　them。
  AGATHON
  Take　them　and　use　them　as　you　like；　I　consent。
  MNESILOCHUS
  What　shall　I　take？
  EURIPIDES
  First　put　on　this　long　saffron…coloured　robe。
  MNESILOCHUS
  By　Aphrodite！　what　a　sweet　odour！　how　it　smells　of　young　male
  tools　Hand　it　to　me　quickly。　And　the　belt？
  EURIPIDES
  Here　it　is。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Now　some　rings　for　my　legs。
  EURIPIDES
  You　still　want　a　hair…net　and　a　head…dress。
  AGATHON
  Here　is　my　night　cap。
  EURIPIDES
  Ah！　that's　fine。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Does　it　suit　me？
  AGATHON
  It　could　not　be　better。
  EURIPIDES
  And　a　short　mantle？
  AGATHON
  There's　one　on　the　couch；　take　it。
  EURIPIDES
  He　needs　slippers。
  AGATHON
  Here　are　mine。
  MNESILOCHUS
  Will　they　fit　me？　（To　AGATHON）　You　don't　like　a　loose　fit。
  AGATHON
  Try　them　on。　Now　that　you　have　all　you　need；　let　me　be　taken
  inside。
  （The　eccyclema　turns　and　AGATHON　disappears。）
  EURIPIDES
  You　look　for　all　the　world　like　a　woman。　But　when　you　talk；　take
  good　care　to　give　your　voice　a　woman's　tone。
  MNESILOCHUS　（falsetto）
  I'll　try　my　best。
  EURIPIDES
  Come；　get　yourself　to　the　temple。
  MNESILOCHUS
  No；　by　Apollo；　not　unless　you　swear　to　me。。。。
  EURIPIDES
  What？
  MNESILOCHUS
  。。。。that；　if　anything　untoward　happen　to　me；　you　will　leave
  nothing　undone　to　save　me。
  EURIPIDES
  Very　well！　I　swear　it　by　the　Aether；　the　dwelling…place　of