第 157 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9238
  rough      men     had     often    trembled      a   little;  into   a   convenient
  household       slave—though   Dinah          herself    was   rather    ashamed      of
  this weakness; and had some inward conflict as   to  her  departure
  from the precepts of Solomon。 Yes; there was one thing that might
  have   been   better;   she   might   have   loved   Seth   and   consented   to
  marry   him。   He   felt   a   little   vexed;   for   his   brother’s   sake;   and   he
  could     not   help   thinking     regretfully    how    Dinah;     as  Seth’s    wife;
  would have made their home as happy as it could be for them all—
  how she was the one being that would have soothed their mother’s
  last days into peacefulness and rest。
  “It’s   wonderful       she   doesn’t     love   th’   lad;”   Adam      had    said
  sometimes to himself; “for anybody ’ud think he was   just cut  out
  for her。 But her heart’s so taken up with other things。 She’s one o’
  those women that feel no drawing towards having a husband and
  children o’ their own。 She thinks she should be filled up with her
  own   life   then;   and   she’s   been   used   so   to   living   in   other   folks’s
  cares; she can’t bear the thought of her heart being shut up from
  ’em。   I   see   how   it   is;   well   enough。   She’s   cut   out   o’   different   stuff
  from most women: I saw that long ago。 She’s never easy but when
  she’s    helping     somebody;       and    marriage      ’ud   interfere    with   her
  ways—that’s true。 I’ve no right to be contriving and thinking it ’ud
  be better if she’d have Seth; as if I was wiser than she is—or than
  God   either;   for   He   made   her   what   she   is;   and   that’s   one   o’   the
  greatest     blessings     I’ve   ever    had   from     His   hands;     and   others
  George Eliot                                                           ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      643
  besides me。”
  This   self…reproof  had   recurred   strongly   to   Adam’s   mind   when
  he    gathered     from    Dinah’s     face   that   he  had    wounded       her   by
  referring   to   his   wish   that   she   had   accepted   Seth;   and   so   he   had
  endeavoured to put into the strongest words his confidence in her
  decision   as   right—his   resignation   even   to   her   going   away   from
  them   and   ceasing   to   make   part   of   their   life   otherwise     than   by
  living in their thoughts; if that separation were chosen by herself。
  He felt sure she knew quite well enough how much he cared to see
  her  continually—to  talk   to  her  with  the   silent  consciousness   of   a
  mutual   great   remembrance。   It   was   not   possible   she   should   hear
  anything       but    self…renouncing        affection     and    respect     in   his
  assurance that he was contented for her to go away; and yet there
  remained an uneasy feeling in his mind that he had not said quite
  the right thing—that; somehow; Dinah had not understood him。
  Dinah must have risen a little before the sun the next morning;
  for   she    was   downstairs      about    five   o’clock。   So   was    Seth;    for;
  through  Lisbeth’s obstinate refusal to  have any  woman…helper in
  the  house;   he   had   learned   to   make   himself;   as   Adam   said;   “very
  handy in the housework;” that he might save his mother from too
  great  weariness;  on   which  ground  I   hope   you   will   not   think   him
  unmanly; any more than you can have thought the gallant Colonel
  Bath     unmanly      when     he  made     the   gruel   for  his   invalid   sister。
  Adam; who had sat up late at his writing; was still asleep; and was
  not likely; Seth said; to be down till breakfast…time。 Often as Dinah
  had visited Lisbeth during the last eighteen months; she had never
  slept in the cottage since that night after Thias’s death; when; you
  remember; Lisbeth praised   her  deft  movements   and even   gave   a
  modified approval to her porridge。 But in that long interval Dinah
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                    644
  had     made    great   advances      in  household     cleverness;     and   this
  morning; since Seth was there to help; she   was   bent  on  bringing
  everything   to   a   pitch   of   cleanliness   and   order   that   would   have
  satisfied her Aunt Poyser。 The cottage was far from that standard
  at present; for Lisbeth’s rheumatism had forced her to give up her
  old habits of dilettante scouring and polishing。 When the kitchen
  was to her mind; Dinah went into the new room; where Adam had
  been writing  the   night  before;   to  see   what  sweeping and   dusting
  were   needed   there。   She   opened   the   window   and   let   in   the   fresh
  morning air; and the smell of the sweet…brier; and the bright low…
  slanting rays of the early sun; which made a glory about her pale
  face and pale auburn hair as she held the long brush; and swept;
  singing     to  herself   in  a  very   low    tone—like     a  sweet    summer
  murmur   that   you   have   to   listen   for   very   closely—one   of   Charles
  Wesley’s hymns:
  “Eternal Beam of Light Divine;
  Fountain of unexhausted love;
  In whom the Father’s glories shine;
  Through earth beneath and heaven above;
  Jesus! the weary wanderer’s rest;
  Give me thy easy yoke to bear;
  With steadfast patience arm my breast;
  With spotless love and holy fear。
  Speak to my warring passions; “Peace!”
  Say to my trembling heart; “Be still!”
  Thy power my strength and fortress is;
  George Eliot                                                      ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      645
  For all things serve thy sovereign will。
  She  laid by  the  brush  and   took   up   the   duster;   and  if   you   had
  ever   lived   in   Mrs。   Poyser’s   household;   you   would   know   how   the
  duster   behaved   in   Dinah’s   hand—how   it   went   into   every   small
  corner; and on every ledge in and out of sight—how it went again
  and again round every bar of the chairs; and every leg; and under
  and   over   everything   that   lay   on   the   table;   till   it   came   to   Adam’s
  papers and rulers and the open desk near them。 Dinah dusted up
  to the very edge of these and then hesitated; looking at them with
  a longing but timid eye。 It was painful to see how much dust there
  was among them。 As she was looking in this way; she heard Seth’s
  step    just  outside    the   open   door;    towards    which     her  back    was
  turned; and said; raising her clear treble;
  “Seth; is your brother wrathful when his papers are stirred?”
  “Yes; very; when they are not put back in the right places;” said
  a deep strong voice; not Seth’s。
  It was as if Dinah had put her  hands   unawares   on  a   vibrating
  chord。 She was shaken with an intense thrill;   and   for  the   instant
  felt   nothing   else;   then   she   knew   her   cheeks   were   glowing;   and
  dared not look round; but stood still; distressed because she could
  not   say   good…morning   in   a   friendly   way。   Adam;   finding   that   she
  did not look round so as to see the smile on his face; was afraid she
  had   thought  him   serious   about  his   wrathfulness; and   went   up   to
  her; so that she was obliged to look at him。
  “What! You think I’m a cross fellow at home; Dinah?” he said;
  smilingly。
  “Nay;” said Dinah; looking up with timid eyes; “not so。 But you
  might be put about by finding things meddled with; and even the
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  Adam Bede                                      646
  man Moses; the meekest of men; was wrathful sometimes。”
  “Come;      then;”   said   Adam;   looking     at  her   affectionately;    “I’ll
  help you move the things; and put ’em back again; and then they
  can’t get wrong。 You’re getting to be your aunt’s own niece; I see;
  for particularness。”
  They     began     their   little  task   together;    but   Dinah     had    not
  recovered   herself   sufficiently   to   think   of   any   remark;   and   Adam
  looked      at  her    uneasily。    Dinah;     he   thought;     had    seemed     to
  disapprove   him