第 106 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9178
  brotherly   affection      and   confidence      with   Seth。   That    was   a  rare
  impulse      in  him;   much     as  the   brothers    loved    each   other。   They
  hardly   ever   spoke   of   personal   matters;   or   uttered   more   than   an
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      428
  allusion to their family troubles。 Adam was by nature reserved in
  all matters of feeling; and Seth felt a certain timidity towards his
  more practical brother。
  “Seth;     lad;”   Adam     said;   putting     his  arm    on    his  brother’s
  shoulder; “hast heard anything from Dinah Morris since she went
  away?”
  “Yes;”   said  Seth。   “She   told   me   I   might  write   her  word   after   a
  while;     how   we    went    on;  and    how    mother     bore   up   under     her
  trouble。 So I wrote to her a fortnight ago; and told her about thee
  having a new employment; and how Mother was more contented;
  and   last   Wednesday;   when   I   called   at   the   post   at   Treddles’on;   I
  found a letter from her。 I think thee ’dst perhaps like to read it; but
  I didna say anything about  it  because   thee   ’dst  seemed  so  full   of
  other   things。   It’s   quite   easy   t’   read—she   writes   wonderful   for   a
  woman。”
  Seth   had   drawn   the   letter   from   his   pocket   and   held   it   out   to
  Adam; who said; as he took it; “Aye; lad;   I’ve  got  a   tough  load   to
  carry   just   now—thee   mustna   take   it   ill   if   I’m   a   bit   silenter   and
  crustier nor usual。 Trouble doesna make me care the less for thee。
  I know we shall stick together to the last。”
  “I   take   nought   ill   o’   thee;   Adam。   I   know   well   enough   what   it
  means if thee ’t a bit short wi’ me now and then。”
  “There’s     Mother     opening     the   door   to  look   out   for  us;”   said
  Adam; as they mounted the slope。 “She’s been sitting i’ the dark as
  usual。 Well; Gyp; well; art glad to see me?”
  Lisbeth went in again quickly and lighted a candle; for she had
  heard the welcome rustling of footsteps on the grass; before Gyp’s
  joyful bark。
  “Eh;   my   lads!   Th’   hours   war   ne’er   so   long   sin’   I   war   born   as
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      429
  they’n been this blessed Sunday night。 What can ye both ha’ been
  doin’ till this time?”
  “Thee   shouldstna       sit   i’  the  dark;  Mother;”    said   Adam;     “that
  makes the time seem longer。”
  “Eh;   what   am   I   to   do   wi’   burnin’   candle   of   a   Sunday;   when
  there’s   on’y   me   an’   it’s   sin   to   do  a   bit   o’   knittin’?   The   daylight’s
  long enough for me to stare i’ the booke as I canna read。 It ’ud be a
  fine way o’ shortenin’ the time; to make it waste the good candle。
  But which on you’s for ha’in’ supper? Ye mun ayther be clemmed
  or full; I should think; seein’ what time o’ night it is。”
  “I’m   hungry;   Mother;”   said   Seth;   seating   himself   at   the   little
  table; which had been spread ever since it was light。
  “I’ve   had    my   supper;”     said   Adam。     “Here;    Gyp;”    he  added;
  taking some cold potato from the table and rubbing the rough grey
  head that looked up towards him。
  “Thee   needstna   be   gi’in’   th’   dog;”   said   Lisbeth;   “I’n   fed   him
  well a’ready。 I’m not like to forget him; I reckon; when he’s all o’
  thee I can get sight on。”
  “Come;   then;   Gyp;”   said   Adam;   “we’ll   go   to   bed。   Good…night;
  Mother; I’m very tired。”
  “What ails him; dost know?” Lisbeth said to Seth; when Adam
  was gone upstairs。 “He’s like as if he was struck for death this day
  or two—he’s so cast down。 I found him i’ the shop this forenoon;
  arter thee wast gone; a…sittin’ an’ doin’ nothin’—not so much as a
  booke afore him。”
  “He’s   a   deal   o’   work   upon   him   just   now;   Mother;”   said   Seth;
  “and I think he’s a bit troubled in his mind。 Don’t you take notice
  of it; because it hurts him when you do。 Be as kind to him as you
  can; Mother; and don’t say anything to vex him。”
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      430
  “Eh; what dost talk o’ my vexin’ him? An’ what am I like to be
  but kind? I’ll ma’ him a kettle…cake for breakfast i’ the mornin’。”
  Adam; meanwhile; was reading Dinah’s letter by the light of his
  dip candle。
  DEAR   BROTHER  SETH—Your  letter  lay  three   days   beyond   my
  knowing of it at the post; for I had not money enough by me to pay
  the   carriage;   this   being   a   time   of   great   need   and   sickness   here;
  with the rains that have fallen; as if the windows of heaven   were
  opened   again;   and   to   lay   by   money;   from   day   to   day;   in   such   a
  time; when there are so many in present need of all things; would
  be a want of trust like the laying up of the manna。 I speak of this;
  because I would not have you think me slow to answer; or  that  I
  had     small   joy  in   your   rejoicing    at  the   worldly    good    that   has
  befallen your brother Adam。 The honour and love you bear him is
  nothing but meet; for God has given him great gifts; and he   uses
  them as the patriarch Joseph did; who; when he was exalted to a
  place of power and trust; yet yearned with tenderness towards his
  parent and his younger brother。
  “My heart is knit to your aged mother since it was granted me
  to be near her in the day of trouble。 Speak to her of me; and tell
  her  I   often   bear  her  in   my  thoughts   at   evening   time;   when   I   am
  sitting in the dim light as I did with her; and we held one another’s
  hands;   and   I   spoke   the   words   of   comfort   that   were   given   to   me。
  Ah; that is a blessed time; isn’t it; Seth; when the outward light is
  fading; and the body is a little wearied with its work and its labour。
  Then the inward light shines the brighter; and we have a deeper
  sense   of   resting   on   the   Divine   strength。   I   sit   on   my   chair   in   the
  dark room and close my eyes; and it is as if I was out of the body
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      431
  and could feel no want for evermore。 For then; the very hardship;
  and the sorrow; and the blindness; and the sin I have beheld and
  been   ready  to  weep   over—yea;   all   the   anguish   of   the   children   of
  men; which  sometimes   wraps   me   round like  sudden darkness—I
  can  bear  with  a   willing   pain;   as   if   I   was   sharing   the   Redeemer’s
  cross。 For I feel it;   I  feel it—infinite love   is   suffering  too—yea;   in
  the fulness of knowledge it suffers; it yearns; it mourns; and that is
  a   blind   self…seeking     which    wants     to  be  freed    from   the   sorrow
  wherewith the whole creation groaneth and travaileth。 Surely it is
  not true blessedness to be free from sorrow; while there is sorrow
  and sin in the world: sorrow is then a part of love; and love does
  not seek to throw it off。 It is not the spirit only that tells me this—I
  see   it   in   the   whole   work   and   word   of   the   Gospel。   Is   there   not
  pleading      in  heaven?     Is  not   the  Man     of  Sorrows     there    in  that
  crucified   body   wherewith   he   ascended?   And   is   He   not   one   with
  the Infinite Love itself—as our love is one with our sorrow?
  “These thoughts have been much borne in on me of late; and I
  have seen with new clearness the meaning of those words; ‘If any
  man love me; let him take up my cross。’ I have heard this enlarged
  on    as  if  it  meant    the   troubles    and    persecutions      we   bring    on
  ourselves by confessing Jesus。 But surely that is a narrow thought。
  The   true   cross   of   the   Redeemer   was   the   sin   and   sorrow   of   this
  world—that was what lay heavy on his heart—and that is the cross
  we shall share with him; that is the cup we must drink of with him;
  if we would have any part in that Divine   Love   which  is   one  with
  his sorrow。
  “In my outward lot; which you ask about; I have all things and
  abound。 I have had constant work in the mill; though some of the
  other   hands      have   been