第 51 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9253
  estimate      of   what   might   be   expected     from    Hetty    in  the   way   of
  feeling; and in moments of indignation she had sometimes spoken
  with great openness on the subject to her husband。
  “She’s no better than a peacock; as ’ud strut about on the wall
  and spread its tail when the sun shone if all the folks i’ the parish
  was   dying:   there’s   nothing   seems   to   give   her   a   turn   i’   th’   inside;
  not   even   when   we   thought   Totty   had   tumbled   into   the   pit。        To
  think   o’   that   dear   cherub!  And   we   found   her   wi’   her  little   shoes
  stuck i’ the mud an’ crying fit to break her heart by the far horse…
  pit。 But Hetty never minded it;   I could  see;   though  she’s been at
  the nussin’ o’ the child ever since it was a babby。 It’s my belief her
  heart’s as hard as a pebble。”
  “Nay;     nay;”   said   Mr。   Poyser;    “thee    mustn’t    judge    Hetty    too
  hard。   Them   young   gells   are   like   the   unripe   grain;   they’ll   make
  good meal by and by; but they’re squashy as yet。 Thee ’t see Hetty
  ’ll be all right when she’s got a good husband and children of her
  own。”
  “I don’t want to be hard upo’ the gell。 She’s got cliver fingers of
  her  own;   and   can be   useful   enough  when   she  likes   and   I   should
  miss her wi’ the butter; for she’s got a cool hand。 An’ let be what
  may;   I’d   strive   to   do   my   part   by   a   niece   o’   yours—an’   that   I’ve
  done; for I’ve taught her everything as belongs to a house; an’ I’ve
  told her her duty often enough; though; God knows; I’ve no breath
  to   spare;   an’   that   catchin’   pain   comes   on   dreadful   by   times。   Wi’
  them three gells in the house I’d need have twice the strength to
  keep ’em up to their work。 It’s like having roast meat at three fires;
  as soon as you’ve basted one; another’s burnin’。”
  Hetty   stood   sufficiently   in   awe   of   her   aunt   to   be   anxious    to
  conceal from her so much of her vanity as could be hidden without
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  too great a sacrifice。 She could not resist  spending  her  money in
  bits of finery which Mrs。 Poyser disapproved; but she would have
  been ready to die with shame; vexation; and fright if her aunt had
  this moment opened the door; and seen her with her bits of candle
  lighted; and strutting about decked in her scarf and ear…rings。 To
  prevent such a surprise; she always bolted her door; and she had
  not forgotten to do so to…night。 It was well: for there now came a
  light tap; and Hetty; with a leaping heart; rushed to blow out the
  candles   and   throw   them   into   the   drawer。   She   dared   not   stay   to
  take out her ear…rings; but she threw off her scarf; and let it fall on
  the   floor;   before   the   light   tap   came   again。   We   shall   know   how   it
  was that the light tap came; if we leave Hetty for a short time and
  return to Dinah; at the moment when she had   delivered   Totty  to
  her    mother’s     arms;    and    was    come    upstairs    to   her   bedroom;
  adjoining Hetty’s。
  Dinah delighted in her bedroom window。 Being on the second
  story of that tall house; it gave her a wide view over the fields。 The
  thickness of the wall formed a broad step about a yard below the
  window; where she could place her chair。 And now the first thing
  she did on entering her room was to seat herself in this chair and
  look out on the peaceful fields beyond which the large moon was
  rising;   just above   the   hedgerow   elms。   She   liked   the   pasture   best
  where   the   milch   cows   were   lying;   and   next   to   that   the   meadow
  where the grass was half…mown; and lay in silvered sweeping lines。
  Her heart was very full; for there was to be only one more night on
  which she would look out on those fields for a long time to come;
  but she thought little of leaving the mere scene; for; to her; bleak
  Snowfield   had   just   as   many   charms。   She   thought   of   all   the   dear
  people   whom   she   had   learned   to   care   for   among   these   peaceful
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  fields;     and    who     would      now     have    a   place     in   her    loving
  remembrance          for   ever。   She   thought     of  the   struggles     and    the
  weariness       that   might   lie  before    them    in  the   rest  of  their   life’s
  journey; when she would be away from them; and know nothing of
  what   was   befalling   them;   and   the   pressure   of   this   thought   soon
  became   too  strong  for   her   to   enjoy   the   unresponding   stillness   of
  the   moonlit  fields。   She closed   her  eyes;   that  she   might  feel   more
  intensely the presence of a Love and Sympathy deeper and more
  tender than was breathed from the earth and sky。 That was often
  Dinah’s mode of praying in solitude。 Simply to close her eyes and
  to feel herself enclosed by the Divine Presence; then gradually her
  fears;    her   yearning     anxieties    for   others;   melted     away    like  ice…
  crystals   in a   warm   ocean。   She   had   sat   in   this   way   perfectly   still;
  with her hands crossed on her lap and the pale light resting on her
  calm face; for at least ten minutes when she was startled by a loud
  sound; apparently of something falling in Hetty’s room。 But like all
  sounds   that   fall   on   our   ears   in   a   state   of   abstraction;   it   had   no
  distinct  character;   but  was  simply  loud and   startling;   so   that  she
  felt uncertain whether she had interpreted it rightly。 She rose and
  listened; but all was quiet afterwards; and she reflected that Hetty
  might merely have   knocked   something  down   in   getting  into  bed。
  She began slowly to undress; but now; owing to the suggestions of
  this    sound;    her   thoughts     became      concentrated       on   Hetty—that
  sweet     young     thing;   with    life  and   all  its  trials  before    her—the
  solemn      daily   duties   of  the   wife   and   mother—and         her   mind    so
  unprepared        for   them    all;  bent   merely     on   little  foolish;   selfish
  pleasures; like a child hugging its toys in the beginning of a long
  toilsome journey in which it will have to bear hunger and cold and
  unsheltered darkness。 Dinah felt a double care for Hetty; because
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  she shared Seth’s anxious interest in his brother’s lot; and she had
  not   come   to   the   conclusion   that   Hetty   did   not   love     Adam      well
  enough   to   marry   him。       She   saw   too   clearly   the   absence   of   any
  warm; self…devoting love in Hetty’s nature to  regard   the   coldness
  of her behaviour towards Adam as any indication that he was not
  the man she would like to have for a husband。 And this blank   in
  Hetty’s   nature;   instead   of   exciting   Dinah’s   dislike;   only   touched
  her   with   a   deeper   pity:   the   lovely   face   and   form   affected   her   as
  beauty   always   affects   a   pure   and   tender   mind;   free   from   selfish
  jealousies。     It  was   an   excellent     divine   gift;  that   gave   a   deeper
  pathos to the need; the sin; the sorrow with which it was mingled;
  as the canker in a lily…white bud is more grievous to behold than in
  a common pot…herb。
  By the time Dinah had undressed and   put  on   her night…gown;
  this    feeling   about    Hetty    had    gathered     a  painful    intensity;    her
  imagination   had   created   a   thorny   thicket   of   sin   and   sorrow;   in
  which      she   saw    the   poor    thing    struggling     torn   and    bleeding;
  looking with tears for rescue and finding none。 It was in this way
  that     Dinah’s     imagination       and    sympathy       acted     and    reacted
  habitually; each heightening the other。 She felt a deep longing to
  go now and pour into Hetty’s ear all the words of tender warning
  and   appeal   that   rushed   into   her   mind。   But   perhaps         Hetty   was
  already asleep。 Dinah put her ear  to  the   partition and   heard  still
  some slight noises; which convinced her that Hetty was not yet in
  bed。    Still  she   hesitated;    she   was    not   quite   certain    of  a  divine
  direction; the voice that told her to go to Hetty