第 34 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9231
  time   so   many  midsummers   ago;   when   she   had   told   Thias   where
  this linen lay; that he might be sure and reach it out for her when
  she died; for she was the elder of the two。 Then there had been the
  work of cleansing to the strictest purity every object in the sacred
  chamber;   and   of   removing   from   it   every   trace   of   common   daily
  occupation。 The small window; which had hitherto freely let in the
  frosty   moonlight   or   the    warm    summer   sunrise      on  the   working
  man’s slumber; must now be darkened with a fair white sheet; for
  this was the sleep which is as sacred under the bare rafters as in
  ceiled    houses。   Lisbeth    had   even   mended      a  long…neglected     and
  unnoticeable      rent   in  the  checkered      bit  of  bed…curtain;    for  the
  moments were few and precious now in which she would be able
  to  do  the   smallest  office   of  respect  or   love   for   the   still   corpse;   to
  which in all her thoughts she attributed some consciousness。 Our
  dead are never dead to us until we have forgotten them: they can
  be    injured   by   us;  they   can    be  wounded;      they   know     all  our
  George Eliot                                                      ElecBook Classics
  … Page 138…
  Adam Bede                                      138
  penitence;   all   our   aching   sense   that   their   place   is   empty;   all   the
  kisses we bestow on the smallest relic of their  presence。 And   the
  aged     peasant     woman      most    of  all  believes    that   her    dead    are
  conscious。   Decent  burial   was   what   Lisbeth   had   been   thinking   of
  for  herself   through   years   of   thrift;   with   an   indistinct   expectation
  that    she    should     know     when     she   was    being     carried    to   the
  churchyard; followed by her husband and her sons; and now she
  felt as if the greatest work of her life were to be done in seeing that
  Thias     was   buried    decently   before     her—under        the  white    thorn;
  where once; in a dream; she had thought she lay in the coffin; yet
  all the while saw the sunshine above and smelt the white blossoms
  that   were   so   thick   upon   the   thorn   the   Sunday   she      went   to   be
  churched after Adam was born。
  But now she had done everything that could be done to…day in
  the chamber of death—had done it all herself; with some aid from
  her sons in lifting; for she would let no one be fetched to help her
  from   the   village;   not   being   fond   of   female   neighbours   generally;
  and her favourite Dolly; the old housekeeper at Mr。 Burge’s; who
  had come to condole with her in the morning as soon as she heard
  of Thias’s death; was too dim…sighted to be of much use。 She had
  locked the door; and now held the key in her hand; as she threw
  herself wearily into a chair that stood out of its place in the middle
  of the house floor; where in ordinary times she would never have
  consented   to  sit。   The   kitchen   had   had none   of  her  attention   that
  day; it was soiled with the tread of muddy shoes and untidy with
  clothes   and   other  objects   out   of   place。   But   what   at   another   time
  would      have   been    intolerable     to  Lisbeth’s     habits   of  order    and
  cleanliness   seemed   to   her   now   just   what   should   be:   it   was   right
  that things should look strange and disordered and wretched; now
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
  … Page 139…
  Adam Bede                                       139
  the   old   man   had   come   to   his   end   in   that   sad   way;   the   kitchen
  ought   not   to   look   as   if   nothing   had   happened。   Adam;   overcome
  with the agitations and exertions of the day after his night of hard
  work; had fallen asleep on a bench in the workshop; and Seth was
  in   the   back   kitchen making a   fire   of  sticks   that  he might   get   the
  kettle   to   boil;   and   persuade   his   mother   to   have   a   cup   of   tea;   an
  indulgence which she rarely allowed herself。
  There   was   no   one   in   the   kitchen   when   Lisbeth   entered   and
  threw herself into the chair。 She looked round with blank eyes at
  the dirt and confusion on which the bright afternoon’s sun shone
  dismally; it was all of a piece with the sad confusion of her mind—
  that confusion which belongs to the first hours of a sudden sorrow;
  when   the   poor   human   soul   is   like   one   who   has   been   deposited
  sleeping  among   the   ruins   of   a   vast   city;   and   wakes   up   in   dreary
  amazement;   not  knowing   whether   it   is   the   growing   or   the   dying
  day—not knowing why and whence came this illimitable scene of
  desolation; or why he too finds himself desolate in the midst of it。
  At    another     time    Lisbeth’s     first  thought     would     have     been;
  “Where       is  Adam?”      but   the  sudden      death    of  her   husband      had
  restored   him   in   these   hours   to   that   first   place   in   her   affections
  which he had held six…and…twenty years ago。 She had forgotten his
  faults   as   we   forget   the   sorrows   of   our   departed   childhood;   and
  thought of nothing but the young husband’s kindness and the old
  man’s patience。 Her eyes continued to wander blankly until Seth
  came   in   and   began   to   remove   some   of   the   scattered   things;   and
  clear the small round deal table that he might set out his mother’s
  tea upon it。
  “What art goin’ to do?” she said; rather peevishly。
  “I   want   thee   to   have   a   cup   of   tea;   Mother;”   answered   Seth;
  George Eliot                                                           ElecBook Classics
  … Page 140…
  Adam Bede                                       140
  tenderly。   “It’ll   do   thee   good;   and   I’ll   put   two   or   three   of   these
  things away; and make the house look more comfortable。”
  “Comfortable! How canst talk o’ ma’in’ things comfortable? Let
  a…be; let a…be。 There’s no comfort  for  me   no  more;” she   went  on;
  the    tears   coming      when     she   began     to   speak;    “now     thy   poor
  feyther’s gone; as I’n washed for and mended; an’ got’s victual for
  him for thirty ’ear; an’ him allays so pleased wi’ iverything I done
  for him; an’ used to be so handy an’ do the jobs for me when I war
  ill an’ cumbered wi’ th’ babby; an’ made me the posset an’ brought
  it upstairs as proud as could be; an’ carried the lad as war as heavy
  as   two   children   for   five   mile   an’   ne’er   grumbled;   all   the   way   to
  Warson Wake; ’cause I wanted to go an’ see my sister; as war dead
  an’   gone   the   very   next   Christmas   as   e’er   come。   An’      him    to   be
  drownded in the brook as we passed o’er the day we war married
  an’ come home together; an’ he’d made them lots o’ shelves for me
  to   put   my   plates   an’   things   on;   an’   showed   ’em   me   as   proud   as
  could be; ’cause he know’d I should be pleased。 An’ he war to die
  an’ me not to know; but to be a…sleepin’ i’ my bed; as if I caredna
  nought about it。 Eh! An’ me to live to see that! An’ us as war young
  folks once; an’ thought we should do rarely when we war married。
  Let a…be; lad; let a…be! I wonna ha’ no tay。 I carena if I ne’er ate nor
  drink no more。 When one end o’ th’ bridge tumbles down; where’s
  th’   use   o’   th’   other   stannin’?   I   may   ’s   well   die;   an’   foller   my   old
  man。 There’s no knowin’ but he’ll want me。”
  Here   Lisbeth   broke   from   words   into   moans;   swaying   herself
  backwards   and   forwards   on   her   chair。   Seth;   always   timid   in   his
  behaviour   towards         his   mother;    from   the   sense    that  he   had   no
  influence   over   her;   felt   it   was   useless   to   attempt   to   persuade   or
  soothe her till this passion was past; so he contented himself with
  George Eliot                                                          ElecBook Classics
  … Page 141…
  Adam Bede                                       141
  tending  the   back kitchen   fire   and   folding   up   his   father’s   clothes;
  which had been hanging out to dry since morning—afraid to move
  about   in   the   room   where   his   mother   was;   lest   he   should   irritate
  her further。
  But   after   Lisbeth   had   been   rocking   herself   and   moaning   for
  some minutes; she suddenly paused and said aloud to herself; “I’ll
  go an’ see arter Adam; for I canna think where he’s