第 20 节
作者:老是不进球      更新:2024-04-07 11:52      字数:9322
  pleasant hours with him than with any living person。〃
  He rose and came forward to examine her copy of Andrea del Sarto's
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  portrait。
  〃Yours   is   better   than   mine;〃   he   said;   critically;   〃in   fact;   mine   is   a
  failure。   I   think   I   shall   only   get   a   small   price   for   mine;   indeed;   I   doubt
  whether I shall get sufficient to pay for my funeral。〃
  〃You speak dismally;〃 she answered; smiling。
  〃I missed you yesterday;〃 he continued; half dreamily。 〃I left my work;
  and   I   wandered   through   the   rooms;   and   I   did   not   even   read   Lucretius。
  Something seemed to have gone from my life。 At first I thought it must be
  my favourite Raphael; or the Murillo; but it was neither the one nor the
  other;   it   was   you。   That   was   strange;   wasn't   it?   But   you   know   we   get
  accustomed   to   anything;   and   perhaps   I   should   have   missed   you   less   the
  second day; and by the end of a week I should not have missed you at all。
  Mercifully; we have in us the power of forgetting。〃
  〃I do not wish to plead for myself;〃 she said; 〃but I do not believe that
  you or any one could really forget。 That which outsiders call forgetfulness
  might be called by the better name of resignation。〃
  〃I don't care about talking any more now;〃 he said; suddenly; and he
  went   to   his   easel   and   worked   silently   at   his   picture;   and   Helen   Stanley
  glanced at him; and thought she had never seen her old companion look so
  forlorn and desolate as he did to…day。 He looked as if no gentle hand had
  ever been placed on him in kindliness and affection; and that seemed to
  her    a  terrible   thing;   for  she   was    one   of   those   prehistorically     minded
  persons who persist in believing that affection is as needful to human life
  as rain to   flower life。 When   first she   came   to work   at   the gallerysome
  twelve months agoshe had noticed this old man; and had wished for his
  companionship;         she    was   herself    lonely    and   sorrowful;     and;    although
  young;   had   to   fight   her   own   battles;   and   had   learned   something   of   the
  difficulties of fighting;  and this had   given her an   experience beyond   her
  years。   She   was   not   more   than   twenty…four   years   of   age;   but   she   looked
  rather   older;   and;   though   she   had   beautiful   eyes;   full   of   meaning   and
  kindness; her features were decidedly plain as well as unattractive。 There
  were some in the gallery who said among themselves that; as Mr。 Lindall
  had waited so many years before talking to any one; he might have chosen
  some one better worth the waiting for! But they soon became accustomed
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  to seeing   Helen   Stanley  and   Mr。  Lindall   together;   and they  laughed   less
  than    before;    and   meanwhile       the  acquaintance       ripened    into  a   sort  of
  friendship; half sulky on his part and wholly kind on her part。 He told her
  nothing about himself; and he asked nothing about herself; for weeks he
  never even knew her name。 Sometimes he did not speak at all; and the two
  friends would work silently side by side until it was time to go; and then
  he    waited    until  she   was   ready;   and   walked     with   her   across   Trafalgar
  Square; where they parted and went their own ways。
  But   occasionally;   when   she   least   expected   it;   he   would   speak   with
  glowing enthusiasm on art; then his eyes seemed to become bright; and his
  bent figure more erect; and his whole bearing proud and dignified。 There
  were times; too; when he would speak on other subjects: on the morality
  of   free   thoughton   Bruno;   of   blessed   memory;   on   him;   and   scores   of
  others   too。   He   would   speak   of   the   different   schools   of   philosophy;   he
  would laugh at himself; and at all who; having given time and thought to
  the study of life's complicated problems; had not reached one step further
  than the Old…World thinkers。 Perhaps he would quote one of his favourite
  philosophers;      and    then   suddenly     relapse   into   silence;   returning    to  his
  wonted      abstraction    and   to  his   indifference    to  his   surroundings。     Helen
  Stanley   had   learned   to   understand   his   ways   and   to   appreciate   his   mind;
  and; without intruding on him in any manner; had put herself gently into
  his life as his quiet champion and his friend。 No one in her presence dared
  speak   slightingly   of   the   old   man;   or   to   make   fun   of   his   tumble…down
  appearance; or of his worn…out silk hat with a crack in the side; or of his
  rag   of   a   black   tie;   which;   together   with   his   overcoat;   had   〃seen   better
  days。〃 Once she brought her needle and thread; and darned the torn sleeve
  during her lunch…time; and; though he never knew it; it was a satisfaction
  to her to have helped him。
  To…day she noticed that he was painting badly; and that he seemed to
  take no interest in his work; but she went on busily with her own picture;
  and   was   so   engrossed   in   it   that   she   did   not   at   first   observe   that   he   had
  packed up his brushes and was preparing to go home。
  〃Three   more   strokes;〃   he   said;   quietly;   〃and   you   will   have   finished
  your picture。 I shall never finish mine; perhaps you will be good enough to
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  set it right for me。 I am not coming here again。 I don't seem to have caught
  the true expression; what do you think? But I am not going to let it worry
  me; for I am sure you will promise to do your best for me。 See; I will hand
  over these colours and these brushes to you; and no doubt you will accept
  the palette as well。 I have no further use for it。〃
  Helen   Stanley   took   the   palette   which   he   held   out   toward   her;   and
  looked at him as though she would wish to question him。
  〃It is very hot here;〃 he continued; 〃and I am going out。 I am tired of
  work。〃
  He hesitated; and then added; 〃I should like you to come with me; if
  you can spare the time。〃
  She packed up her things at once; and the two friends moved slowly
  away; he gazing absently at the pictures; and she wondering in her mind as
  to the meaning of his strange mood。
  When they were on the steps inside the building; he turned to Helen
  Stanley and said:
  〃I should like to go back to the pictures once more。 I feel as if I must
  stand among them just a little longer。 They have been my companions for
  so long that they are almost part of myself。 I can close my eyes and recall
  them faithfully。 But I want to take a last look at them; I want to feel once
  more the presence of the great masters; and to refresh my mind with their
  genius。 When I look at their work I think of their life; and can only wonder
  at their death。 It was so strange that they should die。〃
  They went back together; and he took her to his favourite pictures; but
  remained speechless before them; and she did not disturb his thoughts。 At
  last he said:
  〃I   am   ready   to   go。   I   have   said   farewell   to   them   all。   I   know   nothing
  more wonderful than being among a number of fine pictures。 It is almost
  overwhelming。 Once expects nature to be grand; but one does not expect
  man to be grand。〃
  〃You know we don't agree there;〃 she answered。 〃/I/ expect everything
  grand and great from man。〃
  They   went   out   of   the   gallery;   and   into   Trafalgar   Square。   It   was   a
  scorching   afternoon   in   August;   but   there   was   some   cooling   comfort   in
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  seeing   the   dancing   water   of   the   fountains   sparkling   so   brightly   in   the
  sunshine。
  〃Do you mind stopping here a few minutes?〃 he said。 〃I should like to
  sit down and watch。 There is so much to see。〃
  She   led   the   way   to  a   seat;  one  end   of  which   was   occupied    by   a
  workman;   who   was   sleeping   soundly;   and   snoring   too;   his   arms   folded
  tightly   together。   He   had   a   little   clay   pipe   in   the   corner   of   his   mouth;   it
  seemed to be tucked   in so snugly  that there was not   much danger of   its
  falling to the ground。 At last Helen spoke to her companion。
  〃What do you mean by saying that you will not be able to finish your
  picture? Per