第 29 节
作者:左思右想      更新:2022-08-26 22:14      字数:9322
  if but one word; telling me whether I should write on; or write no more。  Forgive undue warmth; because my feelings in this matter cannot be cool; and believe me; sir; with deep respect;
  〃Your really humble servant; 〃P。 B。 Bronte〃
  The poetry enclosed seems to me by no means equal to parts of the letter; but; as every one likes to judge for himself; I copy the six opening stanzasabout a third of the whole; and certainly not the worst。
  So where he reigns in glory bright; Above those starry skies of night; Amid his Paradise of light Oh; why may I not be?
  Oft when awake on Christmas morn; In sleepless twilight laid forlorn; Strange thoughts have o'er my mind been borne; How he has died for me。
  And oft within my chamber lying; Have I awaked myself with crying From dreams; where I beheld Him dying Upon the accursed Tree。
  And often has my mother said; While on her lap I laid my head; She feared for time I was not made; But for Eternity。
  So 〃I can read my title clear; To mansions in the skies; And let me bid farewell to fear; And wipe my weeping eyes。〃
  I'll lay me down on this marble stone; And set the world aside; To see upon her ebon throne The Moon in glory ride。
  Soon after Charlotte returned to Dewsbury Moor; she was distressed by hearing that her friend 〃E。〃 was likely to leave the neighbourhood for a considerable length of time。
  〃Feb。 20th。
  〃What shall I do without you?  How long are we likely to be separated?  Why are we to be denied each other's society?  It is an inscrutable fatality。  I long to be with you; because it seems as if two or three days; or weeks; spent in your company would beyond measure strengthen me in the enjoyment of those feelings which I have so lately begun to cherish。  You first pointed out to me that way in which I am so feebly endeavouring to travel; and now I cannot keep you by my side; I must proceed sorrowfully alone。  Why are we to be divided?  Surely; it must be because we are in danger of loving each other too wellof losing sight of the CREATOR in idolatry of the CREATURE。  At first; I could not say 'Thy will be done!'  I felt rebellious; but I knew it was wrong to feel so。  Being left a moment alone this morning; I prayed fervently to be enabled to resign myself to EVERY decree of God's will; though it should be dealt forth by a far severer hand than the present disappointment; since then I have felt calmer and humbler; and consequently happier。  Last Sunday I took up my Bible in a gloomy state of mind:  I began to reada feeling stole over me such as I have not known for many long yearsa sweet; placid sensation; like those; I remember; which used to visit me when I was a little child; and; on Sunday evenings in summer; stood by the open window reading the life of a certain French nobleman; who attained a purer and higher degree of sanctity than has been known since the days of the early martyrs。〃
  〃E。's〃 residence was equally within a walk from Dewsbury Moor as it had been from Roe Head; and on Saturday afternoons both 〃Mary〃 and she used to call upon Charlotte; and often endeavoured to persuade her to return with them; and be the guest of one of them till Monday morning; but this was comparatively seldom。  Mary says:… 〃She visited us twice or thrice when she was at Miss W…'s。 We used to dispute about politics and religion。  She; a Tory and clergyman's daughter; was always in a minority of one in our house of violent Dissent and Radicalism。  She used to hear over again; delivered WITH AUTHORITY; all the lectures I had been used to give her at school on despotic aristocracy; mercenary priesthood; &c。 She had not energy to defend herself; sometimes she owned to a LITTLE truth in it; but generally said nothing。  Her feeble health gave her her yielding manner; for she could never oppose any one without gathering up all her strength for the struggle。  Thus she would let me advise and patronise most imperiously; sometimes picking out any grain of sense there might be in what I said; but never allowing any one materially to interfere with her independence of thought and action。  Though her silence sometimes left one under the impression that she agreed when she did not; she never gave a flattering opinion; and thus her words were golden; whether for praise or blame。〃
  〃Mary's〃 father was a man of remarkable intelligence; but of strong; not to say violent prejudices; all running in favour of Republicanism and Dissent。  No other county but Yorkshire could have produced such a man。  His brother had been a DETENU in France; and had afterwards voluntarily taken up his residence there。  Mr。 T。 himself had been much abroad; both on business and to see the great continental galleries of paintings。  He spoke French perfectly; I have been told; when need was; but delighted usually in talking the broadest Yorkshire。  He bought splendid engravings of the pictures which he particularly admired; and his house was full of works of art and of books; but he rather liked to present his rough side to any stranger or new…comer; he would speak his broadest; bring out his opinions on Church and State in their most startling forms; and; by and by; if he found his hearer could stand the shock; he would involuntarily show his warm kind heart; and his true taste; and real refinement。  His family of four sons and two daughters were brought up on Republican principles; independence of thought and action was encouraged; no 〃shams〃 tolerated。  They are scattered far and wide:  Martha; the younger daughter; sleeps in the Protestant cemetery at Brussels; Mary is in New Zealand; Mr。 T。 is dead。  And so life and death have dispersed the circle of 〃violent Radicals and Dissenters〃 into which; twenty years ago; the little; quiet; resolute clergyman's daughter was received; and by whom she was truly loved and honoured。
  January and February of 1837 had passed away; and still there was no reply from Southey。  Probably she had lost expectation and almost hope when at length; in the beginning of March; she received the letter inserted in Mr。 C。 C。 Southey's life of his Father; vol。 iv。 p。 327。
  After accounting for his delay in replying to hers by the fact of a long absence from home; during which his letters had accumulated; whence 〃it has lain unanswered till the last of a numerous file; not from disrespect or indifference to its contents; but because in truth it is not an easy task to answer it; nor a pleasant one to cast a damp over the high spirits and the generous desires of youth;〃 he goes on to say:  〃What you are I can only infer from your letter; which appears to be written in sincerity; though I may suspect that you have used a fictitious signature。  Be that as it may; the letter and the verses bear the same stamp; and I can well understand the state of mind they indicate。
  * * *
  〃It is not my advice that you have asked as to the direction of your talents; but my opinion of them; and yet the opinion may be worth little; and the advice much。  You evidently possess; and in no inconsiderable degree; what Wordsworth calls the 'faculty of verse。'  I am not depreciating it when I say that in these times it is not rare。  Many volumes of poems are now published every year without attracting public attention; any one of which if it had appeared half a century ago; would have obtained a high reputation for its author。  Whoever; therefore; is ambitious of distinction in this way ought to be prepared for disappointment。
  〃But it is not with a view to distinction that you should cultivate this talent; if you consult your own happiness。  I; who have made literature my profession; and devoted my life to it; and have never for a moment repented of the deliberate choice; think myself; nevertheless; bound in duty to caution every young man who applies as an aspirant to me for encouragement and advice; against taking so perilous a course。  You will say that a woman has no need of such a caution; there can be no peril in it for her。  In a certain sense this is true; but there is a danger of which I would; with all kindness and all earnestness; warn you。  The day dreams in which you habitually indulge are likely to induce a distempered state of mind; and in proportion as all the ordinary uses of the world seem to you flat and unprofitable; you will be unfitted for them without becoming fitted for anything else。 Literature cannot be the business of a woman's life; and it ought not to be。  The more she is engaged in her proper duties; the less leisure will she have for it; even as an accomplishment and a recreation。  To those duties you have not yet been called; and when you are you will be less eager for celebrity。  You will not seek in imagination for excitement; of which the vicissitudes of this life; and the anxieties from which you must not hope to be exempted; be your state what it may; will bring with them but too much。
  〃But do not suppose that I disparage the gift which you possess; nor that I would discourage you from exercising it。  I only exhort you so to think of it; and so to use it; as to render it conducive to your own permanent good。  Write poetry for its own sake; not in a spirit of emulation; and not with a view to celebrity; the less you aim at that the more likely you will be to deserv