第 25 节
作者:人生几何      更新:2022-07-08 12:26      字数:9322
  that we were destined to stand together; I; as the Queen; and thou;
  perchance; Harmachis; as one of the chief pillars of my throne; and
  thus to work each other's weal。〃
  〃Or maybe each other's woe;〃 I answered; looking up; for her sweet
  speeches stung my ears and brought more colour to my face than I loved
  that she should see there。
  〃Nay; never talk of woe。 Be seated here by me; Harmachis; and let us
  talk; not as Queen and subject; but as friend to friend。 Thou wast
  angered with me at the feast to…night because I mocked thee with
  yonder wreathwas it not so? Nay; it was but a jest。 Didst thou know
  how heavy is the task of monarchs and how wearisome are their hours;
  thou wouldst not be wroth because I lit my dulness with a jest。 Oh;
  they weary me; those princes and those nobles; and those stiff…necked
  pompous Romans。 To my face they vow themselves my slaves; and behind
  my back they mock me and proclaim me the servant of their Triumvirate;
  or their Empire; or their Republic; as the wheel of Fortune turns; and
  each rises on its round! There is never a man among themnothing but
  fools; parasites; and puppetsnever a man since with their coward
  daggers they slew that C?sar whom all the world in arms was not strong
  enough to tame。 And I must play off one against the other; if maybe;
  by so doing; I can keep Egypt from their grip。 And for reward; what?
  Why; this is my rewardthat all men speak ill of meand; I know it;
  my subjects hate me! Yes; I believe that; woman though I am; they
  would murder me could they find a means!〃
  She paused; covering her eyes with her hand; and it was well; for her
  words pierced me so that I shrank upon the seat beside her。
  〃They think ill of me; I know it; and call me wanton; who have never
  stepped aside save once; when I loved the greatest man of all the
  world; and at the touch of love my passion flamed indeed; but burnt a
  hallowed flame。 These ribald Alexandrians swear that I poisoned
  Ptolemy; my brotherwhom the Roman Senate would; most unnaturally;
  have forced on me; his sister; as a husband! But it is false: he
  sickened and died of fever。 And even so they say that I would slay
  Arsino?; my sisterwho; indeed; would slay me!but that; too; is
  false! Though she will have none of me; I love my sister。 Yes; they
  all think ill of me without a cause; even thou dost think ill of me;
  Harmachis。
  〃O Harmachis; before thou judgest; remember what a thing is envy!
  that foul sickness of the mind which makes the jaundiced eye of
  pettiness to see all things distraughtto read Evil written on the
  open face of Good; and find impurity in the whitest virgin's soul!
  Think what a thing it is; Harmachis; to be set on high above the
  gaping crowd of knaves who hate thee for thy fortune and thy wit; who
  gnash their teeth and shoot the arrows of their lies from the cover of
  their own obscureness; whence they have no wings to soar; and whose
  hearts' quest it is to drag down thy nobility to the level of the
  groundling and the fool!
  〃Be not; then; swift to think evil of the Great; whose every word and
  act is searched for error by a million angry eyes; and whose most tiny
  fault is trumpeted by a thousand throats; till the world shakes with
  echoes of their sin! Say not: 'It is thus; 'tis certainly thus'say;
  rather: 'May it not be otherwise? Have we heard aright? Did she this
  thing of her own will?' Judge gently; Harmachis; as wert thou I thou
  wouldst be judged。 Remember that a Queen is never free。 She is;
  indeed; but the point and instrument of those forces politic with
  which the iron books of history are graved。 O Harmachis! be thou my
  friendmy friend and counsellor!my friend whom I can trust indeed!
  for here; in this crowded Court; I am more utterly alone than any
  soul that breathes about its corridors。 But /thee/ I trust; there is
  faith written in those quiet eyes; and I am minded to lift thee high;
  Harmachis。 I can no longer bear my solitude of mindI must find one
  with whom I may commune and speak that which lies within my heart。 I
  have faults; I know it; but I am not all unworthy of thy faith; for
  there is good grain among the evil seed。 Say; Harmachis; wilt thou
  take pity on my loneliness and befriend me; who have lovers;
  courtiers; slaves; dependents; more thick than I can count; but never
  one single /friend/?〃 and she leant towards me; touching me lightly;
  and gazed on me with her wonderful blue eyes。
  I was overcome; thinking of the morrow night; shame and sorrow smote
  me。 /I/; her friend!/I/; whose assassin dagger lay against my
  breast! I bent my head; and a sob or a groan; I know not which; burst
  from the agony of my heart。
  But Cleopatra; thinking only that I was moved beyond myself by the
  surprise of her graciousness; smiled sweetly; and said:
  〃It grows late; to…morrow night when thou bringest the auguries we
  will speak again; O my friend Harmachis; and thou shalt answer me。〃
  And she gave me her hand to kiss。 Scarce knowing what I did; I kissed
  it; and in another moment she was gone。
  But I stood in the chamber; gazing after her like one asleep。
  CHAPTER VI
  OF THE WORDS AND JEALOUSY OF CHARMION; OF THE LAUGHTER OF
  HARMACHIS; OF THE MAKING READY FOR THE DEED OF BLOOD; AND OF THE
  I stood still; plunged in thought。 Then by hazard as it were I took up
  the wreath of roses and looked on it。 How long I stood so I know not;
  but when next I lifted up my eyes they fell upon the form of Charmion;
  whom; indeed; I had altogether forgotten。 And though at the moment I
  thought but little of it; I noted vaguely that she was flushed as
  though with anger; and beat her foot upon the floor。
  〃Oh; it is thou; Charmion!〃 I said。 〃What ails thee? Art thou cramped
  with standing so long in thy hiding…place? Why didst not thou slip
  hence when Cleopatra led me to the balcony?〃
  〃Where is my kerchief?〃 she asked; shooting an angry glance at me。 〃I
  let fall my broidered kerchief。〃
  〃Thy kerchief!why; didst thou not see? Cleopatra twitted me about
  it; and I flung it from the balcony。〃
  〃Yes; I saw;〃 answered the girl; 〃I saw but too well。 Thou didst fling
  away my kerchief; but the wreath of rosesthat thou wouldst not fling
  away。 It was 'a Queen's gift;' forsooth; and therefore the royal
  Harmachis; the Priest of Isis; the chosen of the Gods; the crowned
  Pharaoh wed to the weal of Khem; cherished it and saved it。 But my
  kerchief; stung by the laughter of that light Queen; he cast away!〃
  〃What meanest thou?〃 I asked; astonished at her bitter tone。 〃I cannot
  read thy riddles。〃
  〃What mean I?〃 she answered; tossing up her head and showing the white
  curves of her throat。 〃Nay; I mean naught; or all; take it as thou
  wilt。 Wouldst know what I mean; Harmachis; my cousin and my Lord?〃 she
  went on in a hard; low voice。 〃Then I will tell theethou art in
  danger of the great offence。 This Cleopatra has cast her fatal wiles
  about thee; and thou goest near to loving her; Harmachisto loving
  her whom to…morrow thou must slay! Ay; stand and stare at that wreath
  in thy handthe wreath thou couldst not send to join my kerchief
  sure Cleopatra wore it but to…night! The perfume of the hair of
  C?sar's mistressC?sar's and others'yet mingles with the odour of
  its roses! Now; prithee; Harmachis; how far didst thou carry the
  matter on yonder balcony? for in that hole where I lay hid I could not
  hear or see。 'Tis a sweet spot for lovers; is it not?ay; and a sweet
  hour; too? Venus surely rules the stars to…night?〃
  All of this she said so quietly and in so soft and modest a way;
  though her words were not modest; and yet so bitterly; that every
  syllable cut me to the heart; and angered me till I could find no
  speech。
  〃Of a truth thou hast a wise economy;〃 she went on; seeing her
  advantage: 〃to…night thou dost kiss the lips that to…morrow thou shalt
  still for ever! It is frugal dealing with the occasion of the moment;
  ay; worthy and honourable dealing!〃
  Then at last I broke forth。 〃Girl;〃 I cried; 〃how darest thou speak
  thus to me? Mindest thou who and what I am that thou loosest thy
  peevish gibes upon me?〃
  〃I mind what it behoves thee to be;〃 she answered quick。 〃What thou
  art; that I mind not now。 Surely thou knowest alonethou and
  Cleopatra!〃
  〃What meanest thou?〃 I said。 〃Am I to blame if the Queen〃
  〃The Queen! What have we here? Pharaoh owns a Queen!〃
  〃If Cleopatra wills to come hither of a night and talk〃
  〃Of stars; Harmachissurely of stars and roses; and naught beside!〃
  After that I know not what I said; for; troubled as I was; the girl's
  bitter tongue and quiet way drove me wellnigh to madness。 But this I
  know: I spoke so fiercely that she cowered before me as she had
  cowered before my uncle Sepa when he rated her because of her Grecian
  garb。 And as she wept then; so she wept now; only more passionately
  and with great sobs。
  At length I ceased; half…shamed but still angry