第 5 节
作者:童舟      更新:2022-05-26 20:34      字数:9321
  her cheek and thinking how hard it was to be practical and keep remote
  benefits in mind when she was so beautiful and so tempting and so trustful。
  He said aloud:       ‘‘I am impatient; soul's delight!          Is it strange?''    And he
  bowed like a stage courtier to a stage queen and left her。
  She   joined   Sophie   and   Heilig   and   walked   along   in   silence;   Sophie
  between Otto and her。           He caught glimpses of her face; and it made his
  heart ache and his courage faint to see the love…light in her eyesand she
  as   far   away   from   him   as   Heaven   from   hell;   far   away   in   a   world   from
  which   he   was   excluded。      He   and   Sophie   left   her   at   her   father's   and   he
  took Sophie home。
  Sophie felt that she had done a fair evening's worknot progress; but
  progress in sight。       ‘‘At least;'' she reflected; ‘‘he's seeing that he isn't in it
  with Hilda and never can be。            I must hurry her on and get her married to
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  that fool。    A pair of fools!''
  Heilig     found    his  mother     waiting    up   for   him。    As    she   saw    his
  expression; anxiety left her face; but cast a deeper shadow over her heart。
  She felt his sorrow as keenly as heshe who would have laid down her life
  for him gladly。
  ‘‘Don't lose heart; my big boy;'' she said; patting him on the shoulder
  as he bent to kiss her。
  At   this   he   dropped   down   beside   her   and   hid   his   face   in   her   lap   and
  cried   like   the   boy…man   that   he   was。     ‘‘Ach;   Gott;   mother;   I   love   her
  SO!'' he sobbed。
  Her   tears   fell   on   the   back   of   his   head。 Her   boywho   had   gone   so
  bravely to work when the father was killed at his machine; leaving them
  penniless; her boy who had laughed and sung and whistled and diffused
  hope and courage and made her feel that the burden was not a burden but a
  joy for his strong; young shoulders。
  ‘‘Courage; beloved!'' she said。          ‘‘Hilda is a good girl。      All will yet be
  well。''   And she felt itGod would not be God if He could let this heart of
  gold be crushed to powder。
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  CHAPTER III
  FORTUNE FAVORS THE IMPUDENT
  Like all people who lead useful lives and neither have nor pretend to
  have acquired tastes for fine…drawn emotion; Otto and Hilda indulged in
  little  mooning。      They    put   aside  their   burdenshers    of  dread;   his   of
  despairand went about the work that had to be done and that healthfully
  filled   almost   all   their   waking   moments;   and   when   bed…time   came   their
  tired bodies refused either to sit up with their brains or to let their brains
  stay awake。      But it was gray and rainy for Hilda and black night for Otto。
  On Sunday morning he rose at half…past three; instead of at four; his
  week…day   rising   time。    Many   of   his   hard…working   customers   were   astir
  betimes on Sunday to have the longer holiday。             As they would spend the
  daylight   hours   in   the   country   and   would   not   reach   home   until   after   the
  shop had closed; they bought the supplies for a cold or warmed…up supper
  before starting。     Otto looked so sadusually he was in high spiritsthat
  most of these early customers spoke to him or to Joe Schwartz about his
  health。    There were few of them who did not know what was troubling
  him。    Among those friendly and unpretending and well…acquainted people
  any one's affairs were every one's affairswhy make a secret of what was;
  after   all;   only   the   routine   of   human   life   the   world   over   and   the   ages
  through?      Thus   Otto   had   the   lively   but   tactful   sympathy   of   the   whole
  community。
  He     became    less  gloomy     under   the   warmth    of  this  succession    of
  friendly   faces   and   friendly   inquiries。   But    as  trade  slackened;    toward
  noon; he had more leisure to think; and the throbbing ache returned to his
  heavy heart。      All the time pictures of her were passing before his eyes。
  He had known her so long and she had become such an intimate part of his
  daily life; so interwoven with it; that he could not look at present; past or
  future without seeing her。
  Why; he had known her since she was a baby。               Did he not remember
  the day when he; a small boy on his way to school; had seen her toddle
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  across the sidewalk in front of him?            Could he ever forget how she had
  reached with great effort into a snowbank; had dug out with her small; red…
  mittened hands a chunk of snow; and; lifting it high above her head; had
  thrown it weakly at him with such force that she had fallen headlong upon
  the sidewalk?       He had seen her every day since thenevery day!
  He most clearly of all recalled her as a          school…girl。     Those were the
  days    of   the  German     bands    of  six   and   seven   and   even    eight   pieces;
  wandering   as   the   hand…organs   do   now。      And   always   with   them   came   a
  swarm of little girls who danced when the band played; and of little boys
  who listened and watched。           He had often followed her as she followed a
  band; all day on a Saturday。          And he had never wearied of watching her
  long;    slim   legs  twinkling    tirelessly   to  the  music。     She    invented    new
  figures   and   variations   on   steps   which   the   other   girls   adopted。 She   and
  her   especial   friends   became   famous   among   the   children   throughout   the
  East    Side;   even    grown    people    noted    the  grace    and   originality   of   a
  particular    group    of  girls;  led  by   a  black…haired;    slim…legged     one   who
  danced with all there was of her。           And how their mothers did whip them
  when they returned from a day of this forbidden joy!                 But they were off
  again the next Saturdaywho would not pass a bad five minutes for the
  sake of hours on hours of delight?
  And Hilda was gone from his life; was sailing away on his shipwas it
  not   his   ship?   was   not   its   cargo   his   hopes   and   dreams   and   plans?was
  sailing away with another man at the helm!                And he could do nothing
  must sit dumb upon the shore。
  At   half…past   twelve   he   closed   the   shop   and;   after   the   midday   dinner
  with his mother; went down to Brauner's。              Hilda was in the room back of
  the shop; alone; and so agitated with her own affairs that she forgot to be
  cold and contemptuous to Otto。             He bowed to her; then stood staring at
  the framed picture of Die Wacht am Rhein as if he had never before seen
  the wonderful lady in red and gold seated under a tree and gazing out over
  the riverall the verses were underneath。             When he could stare at it no
  longer   he   turned   to   the   other   wall   where   hung   the   target   bearing   the
  marks of Paul Brauner's best shots in the prize contest he had won。                   But
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  he saw neither the lady watching the Rhine nor the target with its bullet
  holes all in the bull's…eye ring; and its pendent festoon of medals。              He was
  longing to pour out his love for her; to say to her the thousand things he
  could say to the image of her in his mind when she was not near。                   But he
  could only stand; an awkward figure; at which she would have smiled if
  she had seen it at all。
  She went out into the shop。          While he was still trying to lay hold of
  an end of the spinning tangle of his thoughts and draw it forth in the hope
  that   all   would   follow;   she   returned;   fright   in   her   eyes。 She   clasped   her
  hands     nervously     and    her  cheeks     blanched。      ‘‘Mr。    Feuerstein!''    she
  exclaimed。      ‘‘And he's coming here!          What SHALL I do?''
  ‘‘What is the matter?'' he asked。
  She   turned    upon    him   angrilyhe    was   the  convenient     vent   for  her
  nervousness。       ‘‘It's all your fault!'' she exclaimed。       ‘‘They want to force
  me to marry you。        And I dare not bring here the man I love。''
  ‘‘My fault?'' he muttered; dazed。         ‘‘I'm not to blame。''
  ‘‘Stupid!     You're always in the wayno wonder I HATE you!''                  She
  was