第 5 节
作者:
童舟 更新:2022-05-26 20:34 字数:9321
her cheek and thinking how hard it was to be practical and keep remote
benefits in mind when she was so beautiful and so tempting and so trustful。
He said aloud: ‘‘I am impatient; soul's delight! Is it strange?'' And he
bowed like a stage courtier to a stage queen and left her。
She joined Sophie and Heilig and walked along in silence; Sophie
between Otto and her。 He caught glimpses of her face; and it made his
heart ache and his courage faint to see the love…light in her eyesand she
as far away from him as Heaven from hell; far away in a world from
which he was excluded。 He and Sophie left her at her father's and he
took Sophie home。
Sophie felt that she had done a fair evening's worknot progress; but
progress in sight。 ‘‘At least;'' she reflected; ‘‘he's seeing that he isn't in it
with Hilda and never can be。 I must hurry her on and get her married to
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that fool。 A pair of fools!''
Heilig found his mother waiting up for him。 As she saw his
expression; anxiety left her face; but cast a deeper shadow over her heart。
She felt his sorrow as keenly as heshe who would have laid down her life
for him gladly。
‘‘Don't lose heart; my big boy;'' she said; patting him on the shoulder
as he bent to kiss her。
At this he dropped down beside her and hid his face in her lap and
cried like the boy…man that he was。 ‘‘Ach; Gott; mother; I love her
SO!'' he sobbed。
Her tears fell on the back of his head。 Her boywho had gone so
bravely to work when the father was killed at his machine; leaving them
penniless; her boy who had laughed and sung and whistled and diffused
hope and courage and made her feel that the burden was not a burden but a
joy for his strong; young shoulders。
‘‘Courage; beloved!'' she said。 ‘‘Hilda is a good girl。 All will yet be
well。'' And she felt itGod would not be God if He could let this heart of
gold be crushed to powder。
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CHAPTER III
FORTUNE FAVORS THE IMPUDENT
Like all people who lead useful lives and neither have nor pretend to
have acquired tastes for fine…drawn emotion; Otto and Hilda indulged in
little mooning。 They put aside their burdenshers of dread; his of
despairand went about the work that had to be done and that healthfully
filled almost all their waking moments; and when bed…time came their
tired bodies refused either to sit up with their brains or to let their brains
stay awake。 But it was gray and rainy for Hilda and black night for Otto。
On Sunday morning he rose at half…past three; instead of at four; his
week…day rising time。 Many of his hard…working customers were astir
betimes on Sunday to have the longer holiday。 As they would spend the
daylight hours in the country and would not reach home until after the
shop had closed; they bought the supplies for a cold or warmed…up supper
before starting。 Otto looked so sadusually he was in high spiritsthat
most of these early customers spoke to him or to Joe Schwartz about his
health。 There were few of them who did not know what was troubling
him。 Among those friendly and unpretending and well…acquainted people
any one's affairs were every one's affairswhy make a secret of what was;
after all; only the routine of human life the world over and the ages
through? Thus Otto had the lively but tactful sympathy of the whole
community。
He became less gloomy under the warmth of this succession of
friendly faces and friendly inquiries。 But as trade slackened; toward
noon; he had more leisure to think; and the throbbing ache returned to his
heavy heart。 All the time pictures of her were passing before his eyes。
He had known her so long and she had become such an intimate part of his
daily life; so interwoven with it; that he could not look at present; past or
future without seeing her。
Why; he had known her since she was a baby。 Did he not remember
the day when he; a small boy on his way to school; had seen her toddle
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across the sidewalk in front of him? Could he ever forget how she had
reached with great effort into a snowbank; had dug out with her small; red…
mittened hands a chunk of snow; and; lifting it high above her head; had
thrown it weakly at him with such force that she had fallen headlong upon
the sidewalk? He had seen her every day since thenevery day!
He most clearly of all recalled her as a school…girl。 Those were the
days of the German bands of six and seven and even eight pieces;
wandering as the hand…organs do now。 And always with them came a
swarm of little girls who danced when the band played; and of little boys
who listened and watched。 He had often followed her as she followed a
band; all day on a Saturday。 And he had never wearied of watching her
long; slim legs twinkling tirelessly to the music。 She invented new
figures and variations on steps which the other girls adopted。 She and
her especial friends became famous among the children throughout the
East Side; even grown people noted the grace and originality of a
particular group of girls; led by a black…haired; slim…legged one who
danced with all there was of her。 And how their mothers did whip them
when they returned from a day of this forbidden joy! But they were off
again the next Saturdaywho would not pass a bad five minutes for the
sake of hours on hours of delight?
And Hilda was gone from his life; was sailing away on his shipwas it
not his ship? was not its cargo his hopes and dreams and plans?was
sailing away with another man at the helm! And he could do nothing
must sit dumb upon the shore。
At half…past twelve he closed the shop and; after the midday dinner
with his mother; went down to Brauner's。 Hilda was in the room back of
the shop; alone; and so agitated with her own affairs that she forgot to be
cold and contemptuous to Otto。 He bowed to her; then stood staring at
the framed picture of Die Wacht am Rhein as if he had never before seen
the wonderful lady in red and gold seated under a tree and gazing out over
the riverall the verses were underneath。 When he could stare at it no
longer he turned to the other wall where hung the target bearing the
marks of Paul Brauner's best shots in the prize contest he had won。 But
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he saw neither the lady watching the Rhine nor the target with its bullet
holes all in the bull's…eye ring; and its pendent festoon of medals。 He was
longing to pour out his love for her; to say to her the thousand things he
could say to the image of her in his mind when she was not near。 But he
could only stand; an awkward figure; at which she would have smiled if
she had seen it at all。
She went out into the shop。 While he was still trying to lay hold of
an end of the spinning tangle of his thoughts and draw it forth in the hope
that all would follow; she returned; fright in her eyes。 She clasped her
hands nervously and her cheeks blanched。 ‘‘Mr。 Feuerstein!'' she
exclaimed。 ‘‘And he's coming here! What SHALL I do?''
‘‘What is the matter?'' he asked。
She turned upon him angrilyhe was the convenient vent for her
nervousness。 ‘‘It's all your fault!'' she exclaimed。 ‘‘They want to force
me to marry you。 And I dare not bring here the man I love。''
‘‘My fault?'' he muttered; dazed。 ‘‘I'm not to blame。''
‘‘Stupid! You're always in the wayno wonder I HATE you!'' She
was