第 72 节
作者:绝对601      更新:2022-04-16 12:12      字数:9210
  Impertinence        I  trust;  by  considering      me   as  speaking     only   for
  another;   and   speaking   by   Necessity;—and   the   Admiral   is   a   Man
  who can never be thought Impertinent by one who knows him as
  you do—。 His Intentions are always the kindest & the Best;—and
  you    will   perceive    that   he   is  actuated    by   none    other;    in  the
  application   which   I   am   now   with—with   very   peculiar   feelings—
  obliged   to   make。’—He   stopped—but   merely   to   recover   breath;—
  not seeming to expect any  answer。—Anne listened; as   if  her  Life
  depended       on   the   issue  of  his   Speech。—He        proceeded;     with   a
  forced      alacrity。—‘The       Admiral;     Madam;       was     this   morning
  confidently informed that you were—upon my word I am quite at
  a loss; ashamed—(breathing & speaking quick)—the awkwardness
  of giving Information of this sort to one of the Parties—You can be
  at no loss to understand me—It was very confidently said that Mr
  Elliot—that      everything     was   settled   in  the   family   for  an   Union
  between Mr Elliot—& yourself。 It was added that you were to live
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  at Kellynch—that Kellynch was to be given up。 This; the Admiral
  knew could not be correct—But it occurred to him that it might be
  the wish of the Parties—And my commission from him Madam; is
  to say; that if the Family wish is such; his Lease of Kellynch shall
  be    cancel’d;    &   he   &   my    sister   will  provide     themselves      with
  another home; without imagining themselves to be doing anything
  which under similar circumstances would not be done for them。—
  This   is   all   Madam。—A   very   few   words   in   reply   from   you   will   be
  sufficient。—That  I       should     be  the   person    commissioned        on   this
  subject   is   extraordinary!—and   believe   me           Madam;      it   is  no   less
  painful。—A        very   few   words     however      will  put    an   end   to   the
  awkwardness   &   distress   we   may  both  be   feeling。’   Anne   spoke   a
  word or two; but they were un…intelligible—And before she could
  command herself; he added;—‘If you only tell me that the Admiral
  may   address   a   Line   to   Sir   Walter;   it   will   be   enough。   Pronounce
  only the words; he may。—I shall immediately follow him with your
  message。—’ This was spoken; as with a fortitude which seemed to
  meet the message。—‘No Sir—said Anne—There   is no  message。—
  You   are   misin—the   Admiral   is   misinformed。—I   do   justice   to   the
  kindness   of  his   Intentions;   but   he   is   quite   mistaken。   There   is   no
  Truth in any such report。’—He was a moment silent。—She turned
  her   eyes   towards   him   for   the   first   time   since   his   re…entering   the
  room。   His   colour   was   varying—&   he   was   looking   at   her   with   all
  the Power & Keenness; which she believed no other eyes than his;
  possessed。 ‘No Truth in any such report!—he repeated。—No Truth
  in   any part   of  it?’—‘None。’—He   had   been   standing   by   a   chair—
  enjoying the relief of leaning on it—or of playing with it;—he now
  sat    down—drew         it  a  little  nearer   to   her—&      looked;    with    an
  expression       which    had    something      more    than   penetration      in  it;
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  something  softer;—Her  Countenance   did not  discourage。—It  was
  a silent; but a very powerful Dialogue;—on his side; Supplication;
  on her’s acceptance。—Still; a little nearer—and a hand taken and
  pressed—and   ‘Anne;   my   own   dear   Anne!’—bursting   forth   in   the
  fullness of exquisite feeling—and all Suspense & Indecision were
  over。—They   were   re…united。   They   were   restored   to   all   that   had
  been     lost。  They    were    carried    back   to   the  past;   with    only   an
  increase     of  attachment   &      confidence;     &   only   such   a  flutter   of
  present Delight as made them little fit for the interruption of Mrs
  Croft; when she joined   them  not  long  afterwards。—She  probably;
  in   the   observations     of   the  next   ten  minutes;   saw   something   to
  suspect—&         tho’  it  was    hardly    possible    for   a  woman      of   her
  description to wish the Mantuamaker had imprisoned her longer;
  she might be very likely wishing for some excuse to run about the
  house; some storm to break the windows above; or a summons to
  the    Admiral’s     Shoemaker        below。—Fortune         favoured     them     all
  however in another way—in a gentle; steady rain—just happily set
  in as the Admiral returned & Anne rose to go。—She was earnestly
  invited to stay dinner;—a note was dispatched to Camden Place—
  and   she   staid;—staid   till   10   at   night。   And   during   that   time;   the
  Husband   &   wife;   either   by   the   wife’s   contrivance;   or   by   simply
  going     on  in  their   usual   way;    were   frequently     out   of  the  room
  together—gone   up   stairs   to  hear a noise;   or  down  stairs   to   settle
  their accounts; or upon the Landing place to trim the Lamp。—And
  these   precious   moments  were   turned   to  so  good   an   account   that
  all   the   most   anxious   feelings   of   the   past   were   gone   through。—
  Before they parted at night; Anne had the felicity of being assured
  in the first place that—(so far from being altered for the worse!)—
  she had gained inexpressibly in personal Loveliness; & that as to
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  Character—her’s was now fixed on his Mind as Perfection itself—
  maintaining the just Medium of Fortitude & Gentleness;—that he
  had never ceased to love & prefer her; though it had been only at
  Uppercross that he had learn’t to do her Justice—& only at Lyme
  that   he   had   begun     to  understand      his  own    sensations;—that   at
  Lyme      he   had   received     Lessons     of  more    than    one   kind;—the
  passing admiration   of  Mr  Elliot  had at   least roused  him;   and   the
  scenes      on   the    Cobb     &   at   Capt。    Harville’s     had    fixed    her
  superiority。—In his preceding attempts to attach himself to Louisa
  Musgrove; (the attempts of Anger & Pique)—he protested that he
  had   continually   felt   the   impossibility   of   really   caring   for   Louisa;
  though till that day; till the leisure for reflection which followed it;
  he   had   not   understood   the   perfect   excellence   of   the   Mind;   with
  which Louisa’s could so ill bear a comparison; or the perfect; the
  unrivalled hold it possessed over his own。—There he had learnt to
  distinguish between the steadiness of Principle & the Obstinacy of
  Self…will; between the Darings of  Heedlessness;   &   the   Resolution
  of a collected Mind—there he had seen everything to exalt in his
  estimation the Woman he had lost; & there begun to deplore the
  pride;   the   folly;   the   madness   of   resentment   which   had   kept   him
  from   trying   to   regain   her;   when   thrown   in   his   way。   From   that
  period to the present had his penance been the most severe。—He
  had no sooner been free from the horror & remorse attending the
  first few days of Louisa’s accident; no sooner begun to feel himself
  alive again; than he had begun to feel himself though alive; not at
  liberty。—He found that he was considered by  his   friend   Harville;
  as   an   engaged   Man。   The   Harvilles   entertained   not   a   doubt   of   a
  mutual attachment between him & Louisa—and though  this   to  a
  degree;    was    contradicted      instantly—it     yet   made     him   feel   that
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  perhaps   by  her  family;   by   everybody;   by  herself  even;   the   same
  idea might be held—and that he was not free                 in honour—though;
  if such were to be the conclusion; too free alas! in Heart。—He had
  never thought justly on this subject before—he had not sufficiently
  considered   that   his   excessive   Intimacy   at   Uppercross   must   have
  its danger of ill consequence in many ways; and