第 66 节
作者:绝对601      更新:2022-04-16 12:12      字数:9276
  to every domestic forbearance; so long as—if I may be allowed the
  expression; so long as you have an object。 I mean while the woman
  you  love   lives;   and   lives   for   you。   All   the   privilege   I   claim   for   my
  own sex (it is not a very enviable one; you need not covet it) is that
  of loving longest; when existence or when hope is gone。”
  She could not immediately have uttered another sentence; her
  heart was too full; her breath too much oppressed。
  “You are a good soul;” cried Captain Harville; putting his hand
  on    her   arm;   quite   affectionately。    “There     is  no  quarreling     with
  you。—And when I think of Benwick; my tongue is tied。”
  Their attention was called towards the others。—Mrs。 Croft was
  taking leave。
  “Here; Frederick; you and I part company; I believe;” said she。
  “I   am    going    home;     and   you    have   an   engagement        with   your
  friend。—To…night we may have the pleasure of all meeting again at
  your     party;”    (turning    to   Anne)。    “We     had   your    sister’s   card
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  yesterday; and I understood Frederick had a card too; though I did
  not see it—and you are disengaged; Frederick; are you not; as well
  as ourselves?”
  Captain Wentworth was folding up a letter in great haste; and
  either could not or would not answer fully。
  “Yes;” said he; “very true; here we separate; but Harville and I
  shall soon be after you; that is; Harville; if you are ready; I am in
  half a minute。 I know you will not be sorry to be off。 I shall be at
  your service in half a minute。”
  Mrs。 Croft left them; and Captain Wentworth; having sealed his
  letter   with    great   rapidity;   was   indeed     ready;   and    had   even   a
  hurried; agitated air; which shewed impatience to  be   gone。 Anne
  knew      not  how    to   understand      it。  She   had   the   kindest    “Good
  morning; God bless you!” from Captain Harville; but from him not
  a word; nor a look! He had passed out of the room without a look!
  She had only time; however; to move closer to the table where
  he   had   been   writing;   when   footsteps   were   heard   returning;   the
  door opened; it was himself。 He begged their pardon; but he had
  forgotten his gloves; and instantly crossing the room to the writing
  table; he drew out a letter from under the scattered paper; placed
  it   before   Anne   with   eyes   of   glowing   entreaty   fixed   on   her   for   a
  time; and hastily collecting his gloves; was again out of the room;
  almost   before   Mrs。   Musgrove   was   aware   of   his   being   in   it—the
  work of an instant!
  The    revolution     which    one   instant    had   made     in  Anne;    was
  almost     beyond     expression。     The   letter;  with    a  direction    hardly
  legible; to “Miss A。 E。—;” was evidently the one which he had been
  folding   so   hastily。   While   supposed   to   be   writing   only   to   Captain
  Benwick; he had been also addressing her! On the contents of that
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  letter   depended   all   which   this   world   could   do   for   her。   Anything
  was possible; anything might be defied rather than suspense。 Mrs。
  Musgrove had little arrangements of her own at her own table; to
  their protection she   must  trust;   and sinking  into  the   chair  which
  he had occupied; succeeding to the very spot where he had leaned
  and written; her eyes devoured the following words:
  “I can listen no longer in silence。 I must speak to you by such
  means   as   are   within       my   reach。    You   pierce   my   soul。   I    am    half
  agony; half hope。 Tell me not that I am too late; that such precious
  feelings are gone for ever。 I offer myself to you again with a heart
  even   more   your  own   than   when   you   almost  broke   it;   eight   years
  and a half ago。 Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman;
  that   his   love   has   an   earlier   death。     I  have   loved   none   but   you。
  Unjust   I   may   have      been;    weak   and     resentful     I  have   been;   but
  never   inconstant。   You   alone   have   brought   me   to   Bath。   For   you
  alone; I think and plan。—Have you not seen this? Can you fail to
  have   understood   my   wishes?—I   had   not   waited   even   these   ten
  days;   could   I   have   read   your   feelings;   as   I   think   you   must   have
  penetrated   mine。   I   can   hardly   write。   I   am   every   instant   hearing
  something  which  overpowers   me。   You  sink   your  voice;   but   I   can
  distinguish   the   tones   of   that   voice   when   they   would   be   lost   on
  others。—Too         good;    too    excellent     creature!     You    do   us   justice;
  indeed。      You     do    believe    that    there     is  true    attachment        and
  constancy        among      men。     Believe     it  to   be   most     fervent;    most
  undeviating; in
  F。 W。
  “I   must   go;   uncertain   of   my   fate;   but   I   shall   return   hither;   or
  follow   your   party;   as     soon   as   possible。   A    word;    a  look;   will   be
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  enough to decide whether I enter your father’s house this evening
  or never。”
  Such a letter was not to be soon recovered from。 Half an hour’s
  solitude   and   reflection   might   have   tranquillized   her;   but   the   ten
  minutes only which now passed before she was interrupted; with
  all   the   restraints    of   her   situation;    could    do   nothing     towards
  tranquillity。 Every moment rather brought fresh agitation。   It  was
  overpowering        happiness。      And    before    she   was   beyond     the   first
  stage of full sensation; Charles; Mary; and Henrietta all came in。
  The absolute necessity of seeming like herself produced then an
  immediate struggle; but after a   while   she   could   do  no more。   She
  began   not   to   understand   a   word   they   said;   and   was   obliged   to
  plead   indisposition and   excuse   herself。   They   could   then   see   that
  she looked very ill—were shocked and concerned—and would not
  stir without her for the world。 This was dreadful! Would they only
  have gone away; and left her in the quiet possession of that room it
  would      have   been    her   cure;   but   to  have    them    all  standing     or
  waiting  around   her  was distracting;   and   in   desperation;   she   said
  she would go home。
  “By    all  means;     my    dear;”    cried   Mrs。   Musgrove;       “go   home
  directly;   and   take   care   of   yourself;   that   you   may   be    fit   for   the
  evening。 I wish Sarah was here to doctor you; but I am no doctor
  myself。 Charles; ring and order a chair。 She must not walk。”
  But    the   chair   would    never    do。  Worse     than    all!  To  lose   the
  possibility   of   speaking   two   words   to   Captain   Wentworth   in   the
  course   of   her   quiet;   solitary   progress   up   the   town   (and   she   felt
  almost certain of meeting him) could not be borne。 The chair was
  earnestly protested against; and Mrs。 Musgrove; who thought only
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  of   one   sort   of   illness;   having   assured   herself   with   some   anxiety;
  that there had been no fall in the case; that Anne had not at any
  time lately slipped down; and got a blow on her head; that she was
  perfectly   convinced        of  having     had   no   fall;  could   part   with   her
  cheerfully; and depend on finding her better at night。
  Anxious   to   omit   no   possible   precaution;   Anne   struggled;   and
  said;
  “I am afraid; ma’am; that it is not perfectly understood。 Pray be
  so good as to mention to the other gentlemen that we hope to see
  your  whole   party  this   evening。   I   am   afraid   there   had   been   some
  mistake;   and   I   wish   you   particularly   to   assure   Captain   Harville
  and Captain Wentworth; that we hope to see them both。”
  “Oh!     my   dear;    it  is  quite  understood;       I  give  you    my