but　the　stage　sailor　is　a　good　and　kindly　man；　and　we　feel　convinced
  he　would　not　recommend　the　exercise　if　it　were　not　conducive　to　piety
  and　health。
  The　stage　sailor　is　good　to　his　mother　and　dances　the　hornpipe
  beautifully。　　We　have　never　found　a　real　sailor　who　could　dance　a
  hornpipe；　though　we　have　made　extensive　inquiries　throughout　the
  profession。　　We　were　introduced　to　a　ship's　steward　who　offered　to　do
  us　a　cellar…flap　for　a　pot　of　four…half；　but　that　was　not　what　we
  wanted。
  The　stage　sailor　is　gay　and　rollicking：　the　real　sailors　we　have　met
  have　been；　some　of　them；　the　most　worthy　and　single…minded　of　men；　but
  they　have　appeared　sedate　rather　than　gay；　and　they　haven't　rollicked
  much。
  The　stage　sailor　seems　to　have　an　easy　time　of　it　when　at　sea。　　The
  hardest　work　we　have　ever　seen　him　do　then　has　been　folding　up　a　rope
  or　dusting　the　sides　of　the　ship。
  But　it　is　only　in　his　very　busy　moments　that　he　has　to　work　to　this
  extent；　most　of　his　time　is　occupied　in　chatting　with　the　captain。
  By　the　way；　speaking　of　the　sea；　few　things　are　more　remarkable　in
  their　behavior　than　a　stage　sea。　　It　must　be　difficult　to　navigate　in
  a　stage　sea；　the　currents　are　so　confusing。
  As　for　the　waves；　there　is　no　knowing　how　to　steer　for　them；　they　are
  so　tricky。　　At　one　moment　they　are　all　on　the　larboard；　the　sea　on　the
  other　side　of　the　vessel　being　perfectly　calm；　and　the　next　instant
  they　have　crossed　over　and　are　all　on　the　starboard；　and　before　the
  captain　can　think　how　to　meet　this　new　dodge；　the　whole　ocean　has　slid
  round　and　got　itself　into　a　heap　at　the　back　of　him。
  Seamanship　is　useless　against　such　very　unprofessional　conduct　as
  this；　and　the　vessel　is　wrecked。
  A　wreck　at　（stage）　sea　is　a　truly　awful　sight。　　The　thunder　and
  lightning　never　leave　off　for　an　instant；　the　crew　run　round　and　round
  the　mast　and　scream；　the　heroine；　carrying　the　stage　child　in　her　arms
  and　with　her　back　hair　down；　rushes　about　and　gets　in　everybody's　way。
  The　comic　man　alone　is　calm！
  The　next　instant　the　bulwarks　fall　down　flat　on　the　deck　and　the　mast
  goes　straight　up　into　the　sky　and　disappears；　then　the　water　reaches
  the　powder　magazine　and　there　is　a　terrific　explosion。
  This　is　followed　by　a　sound　as　of　linen　sheets　being　ripped　up；　and
  the　passengers　and　crew　hurry　downstairs　into　the　cabin；　evidently
  with　the　idea　of　getting　out　of　the　way　of　the　sea；　which　has　climbed
  up　and　is　now　level　with　the　deck。
  The　next　moment　the　vessel　separates　in　the　middle　and　goes　off　R。
  and　L。；　so　as　to　make　room　for　a　small　boat　containing　the　heroine；
  the　child；　the　comic　man；　and　one　sailor。
  The　way　small　boats　are　managed　at　（stage）　sea　is　even　more　wonderful
  than　the　way　in　which　ships　are　sailed。
  To　begin　with；　everybody　sits　sideways　along　the　middle　of　the　boat；
  all　facing　the　starboard。　　They　do　not　attempt　to　row。　　One　man　does
  all　the　work　with　one　scull。　　This　scull　he　puts　down　through　the
  water　till　it　touches　the　bed　of　the　ocean；　and　then　he　shoves。
  〃Deep…sea　punting〃　would　be　the　technical　term　for　the　method；　we
  presume。
  In　this　way　do　they　toilor　rather；　to　speak　correct｛y；　does　the　one
  man　toilthrough　the　awful　night；　until　with　joy　they　see　before　them
  the　light…house　rocks。
  The　light…house　keeper　comes　out　with　a　lantern。　　The　boat　is　run　in
  among　the　breakers　and　all　are　saved。
  And　then　the　band　plays。
  THE　END。