down　the　dust　curtains　from　the　shelves　of　dry　goods；　clean　and　fill　the　lamps；　then　station　outside　the　dummies　in　their　raiment。　All　day　he　would　serve　customers；　snatching　a　hasty　lunch　of　crackers　and　cheese　behind　the　grocery　counter。　And　at　night；　instead　of　twice　watching　The　Hazards　of　Hortense；　he　must　still　unreasonably　serve　late　customers　until　the　second　unwinding　of　those　delectable　reels。
  He　suddenly　sickened　of　it　all。　Was　he　not　sufficiently　versed　in　the　art　he　had　chosen　to　practise？　And　old　Gashwiler　every　day　getting　harder　to　bear！　His　resolve　stiffened。　He　would　not　wait　much　longeronly　until　the　savings　hidden　out　under　the　grocery　counter　had　grown　a　bit。　He　made　ready　for　bed；　taking；　after　he　had　undressed；　some　dumb…bell　exercises　that　would　make　his　shoulders　a　trifle　ire　like　Harold　Parmalee's。　This　rite　concluded；　he　knelt　by　his　narrow　cot　and　prayed　briefly。
  〃Oh；　God；　make　me　a　good　movie　actor！　Make　me　one　of　the　best！　For　Jesus'sake；　amen！〃
  CHAPTER　III
  WESTERN　STUFF
  Saturday　proved　all　that　his　black　forebodings　had　pictured　ita　day　of　sordid；　harassing　toil；　toil；　moreover；　for　which　Gashwiler；　the　beneficiary；　showed　but　the　scantest　appreciation。　Indeed；　the　day　opened　with　a　disagreement　between　the　forward…looking　clerk　and　his　hide…bound　reactionary。　Gashwiler　had　reached　the　store　at　his　accustomed　hour　of　8：30　to　find　Merton　embellishing　the　bulletin　board　in　front　with　legends　setting　forth　especial　bargains　of　the　day　to　be　had　within。
  Chalk　in　hand；　he　had　neatly　written；　〃See　our　new　importation　of　taffetas；　2。59　the　yard。〃　Below　this　he　was　in　the　act　of　putting　down；　〃Try　our　choice　Honey…dew　spinach；　20　cts。　the　can。〃　〃Try　our　Preferred　Chipped　Beef；　58　cts。　the　pound。〃
  He　was　especially　liking　that　use　of　〃the。〃　It　sounded　modern。　Yet　along　came　Gashwiler；　as　if　seeking　an　early　excuse　to　nag；　and　criticized　this。
  〃Why　don't　you　say　'a　yard；'　'a　can；'　'a　pound'？〃　he　demanded　harshly。　〃What's　the　sense　of　that　there　'the'　stuff？　Looks　to　me　like　just　putting　on　a　few　airs。　You　keep　to　plain　language　and　our　patrons'll　like　it　a　lot　better。〃　Viciously　Merton　Gill　rubbed　out　the　modern　〃the〃　and　substituted　the　desired　〃a。〃
  〃Very　well；〃　he　assented；　〃if　you'd　rather　stick　to　the　old…　fashioned　way；　but　I　can　tell　you　that's　the　way　city　stores　do　it。　I　thought　you　might　want　to　be　up　to　date；　but　I　see　I　made　a　great　mistake。〃
  〃Humph！〃　said　Gashwiler；　unbitten　by　this　irony。　〃I　guess　the　old　way's　good　enough；　long's　our　prices　are　always　right。　Don't　forget　to　put　on　that　canned　salmon。　I　had　that　in　stock　for　nearly　a　year　nowand　say　it's　twenty　cents　'a'　can；　not　'the'　can。　Also　say　it's　a　grand　reduction　from　thirty…five　cents。〃
  That　was　always　the　way。　You　never　could　please　the　old　grouch。　And　so　began　the　labour　that　lasted　until　nine　that　night。　Merton　must　count　out　eggs　and　weigh　butter　that　was　brought　in。　He　must　do　up　sugar　and　grind　coffee　and　measure　dress　goods　and　match　silks；　he　must　with　the　suavest　gentility　ask　if　there　would　not　be　something　else　to…day；　and　he　must　see　that　babies　hazardously　left　on　counters　did　not　roll　off。
  He　lived　in　a　vortex　of　mental　confusion；　performing　his　tasks　mechanically。　When　drawing　a　gallon　of　kerosene　or　refolding　the　shown　dress　goods；　or　at　any　task　not　requiring　him　to　be　genially　talkative；　he　would　be　saying　to　Miss　Augusta　Blivens　in　far…off　Hollywood；　〃Yes；　my　wife　is　more　than　a　wife。　She　is　my　best　pal；　and；　I　may　also　add；　my　severest　critic。〃
  There　was　but　one　break　in　the　dreary　monotony；　and　that　was　when　Lowell　Hardy；　Simsbury's　highly　artistic　photographer；　came　in　to　leave　an　order　for　groceries。　Lowell　wore　a　soft　hat　with　rakish　brim；　and　affected　low　collars　and　flowing　cravats；　the　artistic　effect　of　these　being　heightened　in　his　studio　work　by　a　purple　velvet　jacket。　Even　in　Gashwiler's　he　stood　out　as　an　artist。　Merton　received　his　order；　and　noting　that　Gashwiler　was　beyond　earshot　bespoke　his　services　for　the　following　afternoon。
  〃Say；　Lowell；　be　on　the　lot　at　two　sharp　to…morrow；　will　you？　I　want　to　shoot　some　Western　stuffsome　stills。〃
  Merton　thrilled　as　he　used　these　highly　technical　phrases。　He　had　not　read　his　magazines　for　nothing。
  Lowell　Hardy　considered；　then　consented。　He　believed　that　he；　too；　might　some　day　be　called　to　Hollywood　after　they　had　seen　the　sort　of　work　he　could　turn　out。　He　always　finished　his　art　studies　of　Merton　with　great　care；　and　took　pains　to　have　the　artist's　signature　entirely　legible。　〃All　right；　Mert；　I'll　be　there。　I　got　some　new　patent　paper　I'll　try　out　on　these。〃
  〃On　the　lot　at　two　sharp　to　shoot　Western　stuff；〃　repeated　Merton　with　relish。
  〃Righto！〃　assented　Lowell；　and　returned　to　more　prosaic　studio　art。
  The　day　wore　itself　to　a　glad　end。　The　last　exigent　customer　had　gone；　the　curtains　were　up；　the　lights　were　out；　and　at　five　minutes　past　nine　the　released　slave；　meeting　Tessie　Kearns　at　her　front　door；　escorted　her　with　a　high　heart　to　the　second　show　at　the　Bijou　Palace。　They　debated　staying　out　until　after　the　wretched　comedy　had　been　run；　but　later　agreed　that　they　should　see　this；　as　Tessie　keenly　wished　to　know　why　people　laughed　at　such　things。　The　antics　of　the　painfully　cross…eyed　man　distressed　them　both；　though　the　mental　inferiors　by　whom　they　were　surrounded　laughed　noisily。　Merton　wondered　how　any　producer　could　bring　himself　to　debase　so　great　an　art；　and　Tessie　wondered　if　she　hadn't；　in　a　way；　been　aiming　over　the　public's　head　with　her　scenarios。　After　all；　you　had　to　give　the　public　what　it　wanted。　She　began　to　devise　comedy　elements　for　her　next　drama。
  But　The　Hazards　of　Hortense　came　mercifully　to　soothe　their　annoyance。　The　slim　little　girl　with　a　wistful　smile　underwent　a　rich　variety　of　hazards；　each　threatening　a　terrible　death。　Through　them　all　she　came　unscathed；　leaving　behind　her　a　trail　of　infuriated　scoundrels　whom　she　had　thwarted。　She　escaped　from　an　underworld　den　in　a　Chicago　slum　just　in　the　nick　of　time；　cleverly　concealing　herself　in　the　branches　of　the　great　eucalyptus　tree　that　grew　hard　by；　while　her　maddened　pursuers　scattered　in　their　search　for　the　prize。　Again　she　was　captured；　this　time　to　be　conveyed　by　aeroplane；　a　helpless　prisoner　and　subject　to　the　most　fiendish　insults　by　Black　Steve；　to　the　frozen　North。　But　in　the　far　Alaskan　wilds　she　eluded　the　fiends　and　drove　swiftly　over　the　frozen　wastes　with　their　only　dog　team。　Having　left　her　pursuers　far　behind；　she　decided　to　rest　for　the　night　in　a　deserted　cabin　along　the　way。　Here　a　blizzard　drove　snow　through　the　chinks　between　the　logs；　and　a　pack　of　fierce　wolves　besieged　her。　She　tried　to　bar　the　door；　but　the　bar　was　gone。　At　that　moment　she　heard　a　call。　Could　it　be　Black　Steve　again？　No；　thank　heaven！　The　door　was　pushed　open　and　there　stood　Ralph　Murdock；　her　fiance。　There　was　a　quick　embrace　and　words　of　cheer　from　Ralph。　They　must　go　on。
  But　no；　the　wind　cut　like　a　knife；　and　the　wolves　still　prowled。　The　film　here　showed　a　running　insert　of　cruel　wolves　exposing　all　their　fangs。　Ralph　had　lost　his　rifle。　He　went　now　to　put　his　arm　through　the　iron　loops　in　place　of　the　missing　bar。　The　wolves　sought　to　push　open　the　door；　but　Ralph's　arm　foiled　them。
  Then　the　outside　of　the　cabin　was　shown；　with　Black　Steve　and　his　three　ugly　companions　furtively　approaching。　The　wolves　had　gone；　but　human　wolves；　ten　thousand　times　more　cruel；　had　come　in　their　place。　Back　in　the　cabin　Ralph　and　Hortense　discovered　that　the　wolves　had　gone。　It　had　an　ugly　look。　Why　should　the　wolves　go？　Ralph　opened　the　door　and　they　both　peered　out。　There　in　the　shadow　of　a　eucalyptus　tree　stood　Black　Steve　and　his　dastardly　crew。　They　were　about　to　storm　the　cabin。　All　was　undoubtedly　lost。
  Not　until　the　following　week　would　the　world　learn　how　Hortense　and　her　manly　fiance　had　escaped　this　trap。　Again　had　Beulah　Baxter　striven　and　suffered　to　give　the　public　something　better　and　finer。
  〃A　wonder　girl；〃　declared　Merton　when　they　were　again　in　the　open。　〃That's　what　I　call　hera　wonder　girl。　And　she　owes　it　all　to　hard；　unceasing　struggle　and　work　and　pains　and　being　careful。　You　ought　to　read　that　new　interview　with　her　in　this　month's　Silver　Screenings。〃
  〃Yes；　yes；　she's　wonderful；〃　assented　Tessie　as　they　strolled　to　the　door　of　her　shop。　〃But　I've　been　thinking　about　comedy。　You　know　my　new　one　I'm　writingof　course　it's　a　big；　vital　theme；　all　about　a　heartless　wife　with　her　mind　wholly　on　society　and　bridge　clubs　and　dancing　and　that　sort　of　dissipation；　and　her　husband　is　Hubert　Glendenning；　a　studious　young　lawyer　who　doesn't　like　to　go　out　evenings　but　would　rather　play　with　the　kiddies　a　bit　after　their　mother　has　gone　to　a　party；　or　read　over　some　legal　documents　in　the　library；　which　is　very　beautifully　furnished；　and　her　old　school　friend；　Corona　Bartlett；　comes　to　stay　at　the　house；　a　very　voluptuous　type；　high　coloured；　with　black　hair　and　lots　of　turquoise　jewellery；　and　she's　a　bad　woman　through　and　through；　and　been　divorced　and　everything　by　a　man　whose　heart　she　broke；　and　she's　become　a　mere　adventuress　with　a　secret　viceshe　takes　perfume　in　her　tea；　like　I　saw　that　one　didand　all　her