第 7 节
作者:冬儿      更新:2022-04-05 13:37      字数:9322
  There are; it is true; a few classes that have escaped this contagion; shepherds living in the hills; drovers; sailors; fishermen and such like。 I remember the first time I went into the English country…side being struck with the clean; honest look in the people's faces。 I realised exactly where they got it: they had never seen any Americans。 I remember speaking to an aged peasant down in Somerset。 〃Have you ever seen any Americans?〃 〃Nah;〃 he said; 〃uz eeard a mowt o' 'em; zir; but uz zeen nowt o' 'em。〃 It was clear that the noble fellow was quite undamaged by American contact。
  Now the odd thing about this corruption is that exactly the same idea is held on the other side of the water。 It is a known fact that if a young English Lord comes to an American town he puts it to the bad in one week。 Socially the whole place goes to pieces。  Girls whose parents are in the hardware business and who used to call their father 〃pop〃 begin to talk of precedence and whether a Duchess Dowager goes in to dinner ahead of or behind a countess scavenger。 After the young Lord has attended two dances and one tea…social in the Methodist Church Sunday School Building (Adults 25 cents; children 10 centsall welcome。) there is nothing for the young men of the town to do except to drive him out or go further west。
  One can hardly wonder then that this general corruption has extended even to the policemen who guard the Houses of Parliament。 On the other hand this vein of corruption has not extended to English politics。 Unlike ours; English politics;one hears it on every hand;are pure。 Ours unfortunately are known to be not so。 The difference seems to be that our politicians will do anything for money and the English politicians won't; they just take the money and won't do a thing for it。
  Somehow there always seems to be a peculiar interest about English political questions that we don't find elsewhere。 At home in Canada our politics turn on such things as how much money the Canadian National Railways lose as compared with how much they could lose if they really tried; on whether the Grain Growers of Manitoba should be allowed to import ploughs without paying a duty or to pay a duty without importing the ploughs。 Our members at Ottawa discuss such things as highway subsidies; dry farming; the Bank Act; and the tariff on hardware。 These things leave me absolutely cold。 To be quite candid there is something terribly plebeian about them。 In short; our politics are what we call in French 〃peuple。〃
  But when one turns to England; what a striking difference! The English; with the whole huge British Empire to fish in and the European system to draw upon; can always dig up some kind of political topic of discussion that has a real charm about it。 One month you find English politics turning on the Oasis of Merv and the next on the hinterland of Albania; or a member rises in the Commons with a little bit of paper in his hand and desires to ask the foreign secretary if he is aware that the Ahkoond of Swat is dead。 The foreign secretary states that the government have no information other than that the Ahkoond was dead a month ago。 There is a distinct sensation in the House at the realisation that the Ahkoond has been dead a month without the House having known that he was alive。 The sensation is conveyed to the Press and the afternoon papers appear with large headings; THE AHKOOND OF SWAT IS DEAD。 The public who have never heard of the Ahkoond bare their heads in a moment in a pause to pray for the Ahkoond's soul。 Then the cables take up the refrain and word is flashed all over the world; The Ahkoond of Swat is Dead。
  There was a Canadian journalist and poet once who was so impressed with the news that the Ahkoond was dead; so bowed down with regret that he had never known the Ahkoond while alive; that he forthwith wrote a poem in memory of The Ahkoond of Swat。 I have always thought that the reason of the wide admiration that Lannigan's verses received was not merely because of the brilliant wit that is in them but because in a wider sense they typify so beautifully the scope of English politics。 The death of the Ahkoond of Swat; and whether Great Britain should support as his successor Mustalpha El Djin or Kamu Flaj;there is something worth talking of over an afternoon tea table。 But suppose that the whole of the Manitoba Grain Growers were to die。 What could one say about it? They'd be dead; that's all。
  So it is that people all over the world turn to English politics with interest。 What more delightful than to open an atlas; find out where the new kingdom of Hejaz is; and then violently support the British claim to a protectorate over it。 Over in America we don't understand this sort of thing。 There is naturally little chance to do so and we don't know how to use it when it comes。 I remember that when a chance did come in connection with the great Venezuela dispute over the ownership of the jungles and mud…flats of British Guiana; the American papers at once inserted headings; WHERE IS THE ESSIQUIBO RIVER? That spoiled the whole thing。 If you admit that you don't know where a place is; then the bottom is knocked out of all discussion。 But if you pretend that you do; then you are all right。 Mr。 Lloyd George is said to have caused great amusement at the Versailles Conference by admitting that he hadn't known where Teschen was。 So at least it was reported in the papers; and for all I know it might even have been true。 But the fun that he raised was not really half what could have been raised。 I have it on good authority that two of the American delegates hadn't known where Austria Proper was and thought that Unredeemed Italy was on the East side of New York; while the Chinese Delegate thought that the Cameroons were part of Scotland。 But it is these little geographic niceties that lend a charm to European politics that ours lack forever。
  I don't mean to say the English politics always turn on romantic places or on small questions。 They don't。 They often include questions of the largest order。 But when the English introduce a really large question as the basis of their politics they like to select one that is insoluble。 This guarantees that it will last。 Take for example the rights of the Crown as against the people。 That lasted for one hundred years;all the seventeenth century。 In Oklahoma or in Alberta they would have called a convention on the question; settled it in two weeks and spoiled it for further use。 In the same way the Protestant Reformation was used for a hundred years and the Reform Bill for a generation。
  At the present time the genius of the English for politics has selected as their insoluble political question the topic of the German indemnity。 The essence of the problem as I understand it may be stated as follows:
  It was definitely settled by the Conference at Versailles that Germany is to pay the Allies 3;912;486;782;421 marks。 I think that is the correct figure; though of course I am speaking only from memory。 At any rate; the correct figure is within a hundred billion marks of the above。
  The sum to be paid was not reached without a great deal of discussion。 Monsieur Briand; the French Minister; is reported to have thrown out the figure 4;281;390;687;471。 But Mr。 Lloyd George would not pick it up。 Nor do I blame him unless he had a basket to pick it up with。
  Lloyd George's point of view was that the Germans could very properly pay a limited amount such as 3;912;486;782;421 marks; but it was not feasible to put on them a burden of 4;281;390;687;471 marks。
  By the way; if any one at this point doubts the accuracy of the figures just given; all he has to do is to take the amount of the indemnity as stated in gold marks and then multiply it by the present value of the mark and he will find to his chagrin that the figures are correct。 If he is still not satisfied I refer him to a book of Logarithms。 If he is not satisfied with that I refer him to any work on conic sections and if not convinced even then I refer him so far that he will never come back。
  The indemnity being thus fixed; the next question is as to the method of collecting it。 In the first place there is no intention of allowing the Germans to pay in actual cash。 If they do this they will merely inflate the English beyond what is bearable。 England has been inflated now for eight years and has had enough of it。
  In the second place; it is understood that it will not do to allow the Germans to offer 4;218; 390;687;471 marks' worth of coal。 It is more than the country needs。
  What is more; if the English want coal they propose to buy it in an ordinary decent way from a Christian coal…dealer in their own country。 They do not purpose to ruin their own coal industry for the sake of building up the prosperity of the German nation。
  What I say of coal is applied with equal force to any offers of food; grain; oil; petroleum; gas; or any other natural product。  Payment in any of these will be sternly refused。 Even now it is all the British farmers can do to live and for some it is more。  Many of them are having to sell off their motors and pianos and to send their sons to college to work。 At the same time; the German producer by depressing the mark further and further is