第 33 节
作者:管他三七二十一      更新:2021-12-07 09:25      字数:9322
  balance of conversation established。  Lady Cicely Treherne was
  always invited; and always managed to come; for she said; 〃They
  were the most agweeable little paaties in London; and the host and
  hostess both so intewesting。〃  In the autumn; Staines worked double
  tides with the pen; and found a vehicle for medical narratives in a
  weekly magazine that did not profess medicine。
  This new vein put him in heart。  His fees; towards the end of the
  year; were less than last year; because there was no hundred…guinea
  fee; but there was a marked increase in the small fees; and the
  unflagging pen had actually earned him two hundred pounds; or
  nearly。  So he was in good spirits。
  Not so Mrs。 Staines; for some time she had been uneasy; fretful;
  and like a person with a weight on her mind。
  One Sunday she said to him; 〃Oh; dear; I do feel so dull。  Nobody
  to go to church with; nor yet to the Zoo。〃
  〃I'll go with you;〃 said Staines。
  〃You will!  To which?〃
  〃To both; in for a penny; in for a pound。〃
  So to church they went; and Staines; whose motto was 〃Hoc age;〃
  minded his book。  Rosa had intervals of attention to the words; but
  found plenty of time to study the costumes。
  During the Litany in bustled Clara; the housemaid; with a white
  jacket on so like her mistress's; that Rosa clutched her own
  convulsively; to see whether she had not been skinned of it by some
  devilish sleight…of…hand。
  No; it was on her back; but Clara's was identical。
  In her excitement; Rosa pinched Staines; and with her nose; that
  went like a water…wagtail; pointed out the malefactor。  Then she
  whispered; 〃Look!  How dare she?  My very jacket!  Earrings too;
  and brooches; and dresses her hair like mine。〃
  〃Well; never mind;〃 whispered Staines。  〃Sunday is her day。  We
  have got all the week to shine。  There; don't look at her'From
  all evil speaking; lying; and slandering'〃
  〃I can't keep my eyes off her。〃
  〃Attend to the Litany。  Do you know; this is really a beautiful
  composition?〃
  〃I'd rather do the work fifty times over myself。〃
  〃Hush! people will hear you。〃
  When they walked home after church; Staines tried to divert her
  from the consideration of her wrongs; but noall other topics were
  too flat by comparison。
  She mourned the hard fate of mistressesunfortunate creatures that
  could not do without servants。
  〃Is not that a confession that servants are good; useful creatures;
  with all their faults?  Then as to the mania for dress; why; that
  is not confined to them。  It is the mania of the sex。  Are you free
  from it?〃
  〃No; of course not。  But I am a lady; if you please。〃
  〃Then she is your intellectual inferior; and more excusable。
  Anyway; it is wise to connive at a thing we can't help。〃
  〃What keep her; after this? no; never。〃
  〃My dear; pray do not send her away; for she is tidy in the house;
  and quick; and better than any one we have had this last six
  months; and you know you have tried a great number。〃
  〃To hear you speak; one would think it was my fault that we have so
  many bad servants。〃
  〃I never said it was your fault; but I THINK; dearest; a little
  more forbearance in trifles〃
  〃Trifles! triflesfor a mistress and maid to be seen dressed alike
  in the same church?  You take the servants' part against me; that
  you do。〃
  〃You should not say that; even in jest。  Come now; do you really
  think a jacket like yours can make the servant look like you; or
  detract from your grace and beauty?  There is a very simple way;
  put your jacket by for a future occasion; and wear something else
  in its stead at church。〃
  〃A nice thing; indeed; to give in to these creatures。  I won't do
  it。〃
  〃Why won't you; this once?〃
  〃Because I won'tthere!〃
  〃That is unanswerable;〃 said he。
  Mrs。 Staines said that; but when it came to acting; she deferred to
  her husband's wish; she resigned her intention of sending for Clara
  and giving her warning。  On the contrary; when Clara let her in;
  and the white jackets rubbed together in the narrow passage; she
  actually said nothing; but stalked to her own room; and tore her
  jacket off; and flung it on the floor。
  Unfortunately; she was so long dressing for the Zoo; that Clara
  came in to arrange the room。  She picks up the white jacket; takes
  it in both hands; gives it a flap; and proceeds to hang it up in
  the wardrobe。
  Then the great feminine heart burst its bounds。
  〃You can leave that alone。  I shall not wear that again。〃
  Thereupon ensued an uneven encounter; Clara being one of those of
  whom the Scripture says; 〃The poison of asps is under their
  tongues。〃
  〃La; ma'am;〃 said she; 〃why; 'tain't so very dirty。〃
  〃No; but it is too common。〃
  〃Oh; because I've got one like it。  Ay。  Missises can't abide a
  good…looking servant; nor to see 'em dressed becoming。〃
  〃Mistresses do not like servants to forget their place; nor wear
  what does not become their situation。〃
  〃My situation!  Why; I can pay my way; go where I will。  I don't
  tremble at the tradesmen's knock; as some do。〃
  〃Leave the room!  Leave it this moment。〃
  〃Leave the room; yesand I'll leave the house too; and tell all
  the neighbors what I know about it。〃
  She flounced out and slammed the door; and Rosa sat down;
  trembling。
  Clara rushed to the kitchen; and there told the cook and Andrew
  Pearman how she had given it to the mistress; and every word she
  had said to her; with a good many more she had not。
  The cook laughed and encouraged her。
  But Andrew Pearman was wroth; and said; 〃You to affront our
  mistress like that!  Why; if I had heard you; I'd have twisted your
  neck for ye。〃
  〃It would take a better man than you to do that。  You mind your own
  business。  Stick to your one…horse chay。〃
  〃Well; I'm not above my place; for that matter。  But you gals must
  always be aping your betters。〃
  〃I have got a proper pride; that is all; and you haven't。  You
  ought to be ashamed of yourself to do two men's work; drive a
  brougham and wait on a horse; and then come in and wait at table;
  You are a tea…kettle groom; that is what you are。  Why; my brother
  was coachman to Lord Fitz…James; and gave his lordship notice the
  first time he had to drive the children。  Says he; 'I don't object
  to the children; my lord; but with her ladyship in the carriage。'
  It's such servants as you as spoil places。  No servant as knows
  what's due to a servant ought to know you。  They'd scorn your
  'quaintance; as I do; Mr。 Pearman。〃
  〃You are a stuck…up hussy; and a soldier's jade;〃 roared Andrew。
  〃And you are a low tea…kettle groom。〃
  This expression wounded the great equestrian soul to the quick; the
  rest of Sunday he pondered on it; the next morning he drove the
  doctor; as usual; but with a heavy heart。
  Meantime; the cook made haste and told the baker Pearman had 〃got
  it hot〃 from the housemaid; and she had called him a tea…kettle
  groom; and in less than half an hour after that it was in every
  stable in the mews。  Why; as Pearman was taking the horse out of
  the brougham; didn't two little red…headed urchins call out; 〃Here;
  come and see the tea…kettle groom!〃 and at night some mischievous
  boy chalked on the black door of the stable a large white tea…
  kettle; and next morning a drunken; idle fellow; with a clay pipe
  in his mouth; and a dirty pair of corduroy trousers; no coat; but a
  shirt very open at the chest; showing inflamed skin; the effect of
  drink; inspected that work of art with blinking eyes and
  vacillating toes; and said; 〃This comes of a chap doing too much。
  A few more like you; and work would be scarce。  A fine thing for
  gentlefolks to make one man fill two places! but it ain't the
  gentlefolks' fault; it's the man as humors 'em。〃
  Pearman was a peaceable man; and made no reply; but went on with
  his work; only during the day he told his master that he should be
  obliged to him if he would fill his situation as soon as
  convenient。
  The master inquired the cause; and the man told him; and said the
  mews was too hot for him。
  The doctor offered him five pounds a year more; knowing he had a
  treasure; but Pearman said; with sadness and firmness; that he had
  made up his mind to go; and go he would。
  The doctor's heart fairly sank at the prospect of losing the one
  creature he could depend upon。
  Next Sunday evening Clara was out; and fell in with friends; to
  whom she exaggerated her grievance。
  Then they worked her up to fury; after the manner of servants'
  FRIENDS。  She came home; packed her box; brought it down; and then
  flounced into the room to Doctor and Mrs。 Staines; and said; 〃I
  shan't sleep another night in this house。〃
  Rosa was about to speak; but Dr。 Staines forbade her: he said; 〃You
  had better think twice of that。  You are a good servant; though for
  once you have been betrayed into speaking disrespectfully。  Why
  forfeit your character; and three weeks' wages?〃
  〃I don't care for my wages。  I won't stay in such a house as this。〃
  〃Come; you must not be impertinent。〃
  〃I don't mean to; sir;〃 said she; lowering her voice suddenly;
  then; raising it as suddenly; 〃There are my keys; ma'am; and you
  can search my box。〃
  〃Mrs。 Staines will not search your box; and you will retire at once
  to your own part of the