door；　my　hand　in　hers　（would　that　they　could　have　grown　together！）　she　was　dressed　in　a　loose　morning…gown；　her　hair　curled　beautifully；　she　stood　with　her　profile　to　me；　and　looked　down　the　whole　time。　　No　expression　was　ever　more　soft　or　perfect。　　Her　whole　attitude；　her　whole　form；　was　dignity　and　bewitching　grace。　　I　said　to　her；　〃You　look　like　a　queen；　my　love；　adorned　with　your　own　graces！〃　　I　grew　idolatrous；　and　would　have　kneeled　to　her。　　She　made　a　movement；　as　if　she　was　displeased。　　I　tried　to　draw　her　towards　me。　　She　wouldn't。　　I　then　got　up；　and　offered　to　kiss　her　at　parting。　　I　found　she　obstinately　refused。　　This　stung　me　to　the　quick。　　It　was　the　first　time　in　her　life　she　had　ever　done　so。　　There　must　be　some　new　bar　between　us　to　produce　these　continued　denials；　and　she　had　not　even　esteem　enough　left　to　tell　me　so。　　I　followed　her　half…way　down…stairs；　but　to　no　purpose；　and　returned　into　my　room；　confirmed　in　my　most　dreadful　surmises。　　I　could　bear　it　no　longer。　　I　gave　way　to　all　the　fury　of　disappointed　hope　and　jealous　passion。　　I　was　made　the　dupe　of　trick　and　cunning；　killed　with　cold；　sullen　scorn；　and；　after　all　the　agony　I　had　suffered；　could　obtain　no　explanation　why　I　was　subjected　to　it。　　I　was　still　to　be　tantalized；　tortured；　made　the　cruel　sport　of　one；　for　whom　I　would　have　sacrificed　all。　　I　tore　the　locket　which　contained　her　hair　（and　which　I　used　to　wear　continually　in　my　bosom；　as　the　precious　token　of　her　dear　regard）　from　my　neck；　and　trampled　it　in　pieces。　　I　then　dashed　the　little　Buonaparte　on　the　ground；　and　stamped　upon　it；　as　one　of　her　instruments　of　mockery。　　I　could　not　stay　in　the　room；　I　could　not　leave　it；　my　rage；　my　despair　were　uncontroulable。　　I　shrieked　curses　on　her　name；　and　on　her　false　love；　and　the　scream　I　uttered　（so　pitiful　and　so　piercing　was　it；　that　the　sound　of　it　terrified　me）　instantly　brought　the　whole　house；　father；　mother；　lodgers　and　all；　into　the　room。　　They　thought　I　was　destroying　her　and　myself。　　I　had　gone　into　the　bedroom；　merely　to　hide　away　from　myself；　and　as　I　came　out　of　it；　raging…mad　with　the　new　sense　of　present　shame　and　lasting　misery；　Mrs。　　F　said；　〃She's　in　there！　　He　has　got　her　in　there！〃　thinking　the　cries　had　proceeded　from　her；　and　that　I　had　been　offering　her　violence。　　〃Oh！　no；〃　I　said；　〃She's　in　no　danger　from　me；　I　am　not　the　person；〃　and　tried　to　burst　from　this　scene　of　degradation。　　The　mother　endeavoured　to　stop　me；　and　said；　〃For　God's　sake；　don't　go　out；　Mr。　…！　for　God's　sake；　don't！〃　　Her　father；　who　was　not；　I　believe；　in　the　secret；　and　was　therefore　justly　scandalised　at　such　outrageous　conduct；　said　angrily；　〃Let　him　go！　　Why　should　he　stay？〃　I　however　sprang　down　stairs；　and　as　they　called　out　to　me；　〃What　is　it？What　has　she　done　to　you？〃　I　answered；　〃She　has　murdered　me！She　has　destroyed　me　for　ever！She　has　doomed　my　soul　to　perdition！〃　　I　rushed　out　of　the　house；　thinking　to　quit　it　forever；　but　I　was　no　sooner　in　the　street；　than　the　desolation　and　the　darkness　became　greater；　more　intolerable；　and　the　eddying　violence　of　my　passion　drove　me　back　to　the　source；　from　whence　it　sprung。　　This　unexpected　explosion；　with　the　conjectures　to　which　it　would　give　rise；　could　not　be　very　agreeable　to　the　precieuse　or　her　family；　and　when　I　went　back；　the　father　was　waiting　at　the　door；　as　if　anticipating　this　sudden　turn　of　my　feelings；　with　no　friendly　aspect。　　I　said；　〃I　have　to　beg　pardon；　Sir；　but　my　mad　fit　is　over；　and　I　wish　to　say　a　few　words　to　you　in　private。〃　　He　seemed　to　hesitate；　but　some　uneasy　forebodings　on　his　own　account；　probably；　prevailed　over　his　resentment；　or；　perhaps　（as　philosophers　have　a　desire　to　know　the　cause　of　thunder）　it　was　a　natural　curiosity　to　know　what　circumstances　of　provocation　had　given　rise　to　such　an　extraordinary　scene　of　confusion。　　When　we　reached　my　room；　I　requested　him　to　be　seated。　　I　said；　〃It　is　true；　Sir；　I　have　lost　my　peace　of　mind　for　ever；　but　at　present　I　am　quite　calm　and　collected；　and　I　wish　to　explain　to　you　why　I　have　behaved　in　so　extravagant　a　way；　and　to　ask　for　your　advice　and　intercession。〃　　He　appeared　satisfied；　and　I　went　on。　　I　had　no　chance　either　of　exculpating　myself；　or　of　probing　the　question　to　the　bottom；　but　by　stating　the　naked　truth；　and　therefore　I　said　at　once；　〃Sarah　told　me；　Sir　（and　I　never　shall　forget　the　way　in　which　she　told　me；　fixing　her　dove's　eyes　upon　me；　and　looking　a　thousand　tender　reproaches　for　the　loss　of　that　good　opinion；　which　she　held　dearer　than　all　the　world）　she　told　me；　Sir；　that　as　you　one　day　passed　the　door；　which　stood　a…jar；　you　saw　her　in　an　attitude　which　a　good　deal　startled　you；　I　mean　sitting　in　my　lap；　with　her　arms　round　my　neck；　and　mine　twined　round　her　in　the　fondest　manner。　　What　I　wished　to　ask　was；　whether　this　was　actually　the　case；　or　whether　it　was　a　mere　invention　of　her　own；　to　enhance　the　sense　of　my　obligations　to　her；　for　I　begin　to　doubt　everything？〃〃Indeed；　it　was　so；　and　very　much　surprised　and　hurt　I　was　to　see　it。〃　　〃Well　then；　Sir；　I　can　only　say；　that　as　you　saw　her　sitting　then；　so　she　had　been　sitting　for　the　last　year　and　a　half；　almost　every　day　of　her　life；　by　the　hour　together；　and　you　may　judge　yourself；　knowing　what　a　nice　modest…looking　girl　she　is；　whether；　after　having　been　admitted　to　such　intimacy　with　so　sweet　a　creature；　and　for　so　long　a　time；　it　is　not　enough　to　make　any　one　frantic　to　be　received　by　her　as　I　have　been　since　my　return；　without　any　provocation　given　or　cause　assigned　for　it。〃　　The　old　man　answered　very　seriously；　and；　as　I　think；　sincerely；　〃What　you　now　tell　me；　Sir；　mortifies　and　shocks　me　as　much　as　it　can　do　yourself。　　I　had　no　idea　such　a　thing　was　possible。　　I　was　much　pained　at　what　I　saw；　but　I　thought　it　an　accident；　and　that　it　would　never　happen　again。〃〃It　was　a　constant　habit；　it　has　happened　a　hundred　times　since；　and　a　thousand　before。　　I　lived　on　her　caresses　as　my　daily　food；　nor　can　I　live　without　them。〃　　So　I　told　him　the　whole　story；　〃what　conjurations；　and　what　mighty　magic　I　won　his　daughter　with；〃　to　be　anything　but　MINE　FOR　LIFE。　　Nothing　could　well　exceed　his　astonishment　and　apparent　mortification。　　〃What　I　had　said；〃　he　owned；　〃had　left　a　weight　upon　his　mind　that　he　should　not　easily　get　rid　of。〃　　I　told　him；　〃For　myself；　I　never　could　recover　the　blow　I　had　received。　　I　thought；　however；　for　her　own　sake；　she　ought　to　alter　her　present　behaviour。　　Her　marked　neglect　and　dislike；　so　far　from　justifying；　left　her　former　intimacies　without　excuse；　for　nothing　could　reconcile　them　to　propriety；　or　even　a　pretence　to　common　decency；　but　either　love；　or　friendship　so　strong　and　pure　that　it　could　put　on　the　guise　of　love。　　She　was　certainly　a　singular　girl。　　Did　she　think　it　right　and　becoming　to　be　free　with　strangers；　and　strange　to　old　friends？〃　　I　frankly　declared；　〃I　did　not　see　how　it　was　in　human　nature　for　any　one　who　was　not　rendered　callous　to　such　familiarities　by　bestowing　them　indiscriminately　on　every　one；　to　grant　the　extreme　and　continued　indulgences　she　had　done　to　me；　without　either　liking　the　man　at　first；　or　coming　to　like　him　in　the　end；　in　spite　of　herself。　　When　my　addresses　had　nothing；　and　could　have　nothing　honourable　in　them；　she　gave　them　every　encouragement；　when　I　wished　to　make　them　honourable；　she　treated　them　with　the　utmost　contempt。　　The　terms　we　had　been　all　along　on　were　such　as　if　she　had　been　to　be　my　bride　next　day。　　It　was　only　when　I　wished　her　actually　to　become　so；　to　ensure　her　own　character　and　my　happiness；　that　she　shrunk　back　with　precipitation　and　panic…fear。　　There　seemed　to　me　something　wrong　in　all　this；　a　want　both　of　common　propriety；　and　I　might　say；　of　natural　feeling；　yet；　with　all　her　faults；　I　loved　her；　and　ever　should；　beyond　any　other　human　being。　　I　had　drank　in　the　poison　of　her　sweetness　too　long　ever　to　be　cured　of　it；　and　though　I　might　find　it　to　be　poison　in　the　end；　it　was　still　in　my　veins。　　My　only　ambition　was　to　be　permitted　to　live　with　her；　and　to　die　in　her　arms。　　Be　she　what　she　would；　treat　me　how　she　would；　I　felt　that　my　soul　was　wedded　to　hers；　and　were　she　a　mere　lost　creature；　I　would　try　to　snatch　her　from　perdition；　and　marry　her　to…morrow　if　she　would　have　me。　　That　was　the　question〃Would　she　have　me；　or　would　she　not？〃　　He　said　he　could　not　tell；　but　should　not　attempt　to　put　any　constraint　upon　her　inclinations；　one　way　or　other。　　I　acquiesced；　and　added；　that　〃I　had　brought　all　this　upon　myself；　by　acting　contrary　to　the　suggestions　of　my　friend；　Mr。　…；　who　had　desired　me　to　take　no　notice　whether　she　came　near　me　or　kept　away；　whether　she　smiled　or　frowned；　was　kind　or　contemptuousall　you　have　to　do；　is　to　wait　patiently　for　a　month　till　you　are　your　own　man；　as　you　will　be　in　all　probability；　then　make　her　an　offer　of　your　hand；　and　if　she　refuses；　there's　an　end　of　the　matter。〃　　Mr。　L。　said；　〃Well；　Sir；　and　I　don't　think　you　can　follow　a　better　advice！〃　　I　took　this　as　at　least　a　sort　of　negative　encouragement；　and　so　we　parted。
  TO　THE　SAME
  （In　continuation）
  My　dear　Friend；　The　next　day　I　felt　almost　as　sailors　must　do　after　a　violent　storm　over…night；　that　has　subsided　towards　daybreak。　　The　morning　was　a　dull　and