第 4 节
作者:津鸿一瞥      更新:2021-11-05 20:37      字数:9322
  he continued; so low that I had to strain my hearing near
  as we were to each other; shoulder touching shoulder almost。
  〃So I asked to speak to the old man。  He always seemed
  very sick when he came to see meas if he could not look
  me in the face。  You know; that foresail saved the ship。
  She was too deep to have run long under bare poles。
  And it was I that managed to set it for him。  Anyway; he came。
  When I had him in my cabinhe stood by the door looking
  at me as if I had the halter round my neck already
  I asked him right away to leave my cabin door unlocked
  at night while the ship was going through Sunda Straits。
  There would be the Java coast within two or three miles;
  off Angier Point。  I wanted nothing more。  I've had a prize
  for swimming my second year in the Conway。〃
  〃I can believe it;〃 I breathed out。
  〃God only knows why they locked me in every night。
  To see some of their faces you'd have thought they
  were afraid I'd go about at night strangling people。
  Am I a murdering brute?  Do I look it?  By Jove!  If I had been
  he wouldn't have trusted himself like that into my room。
  You'll say I might have chucked him aside and bolted out;
  there and thenit was dark already。  Well; no。  And for
  the same reason I wouldn't think of trying to smash the door。
  There would have been a rush to stop me at the noise;
  and I did not mean to get into a confounded scrimmage。
  Somebody else might have got killedfor I would not have
  broken out only to get chucked back; and I did not want any
  more of that work。  He refused; looking more sick than ever。
  He was afraid of the men; and also of that old second mate of his
  who had been sailing with him for yearsa gray…headed old humbug;
  and his steward; too; had been with him devil knows how long
  seventeen years or morea dogmatic sort of loafer who hated
  me like poison; just because I was the chief mate。  No chief
  mate ever made more than one voyage in the Sephora; you know。
  Those two old chaps ran the ship。  Devil only knows what the skipper
  wasn't afraid of (all his nerve went to pieces altogether
  in that hellish spell of bad weather we had)of what the law
  would do to himof his wife; perhaps。  Oh; yes! she's on board。
  Though I don't think she would have meddled。  She would have
  been only too glad to have me out of the ship in any way。
  The ‘brand of Cain' business; don't you see。  That's all right。
  I was ready enough to go off wandering on the face of the earth
  and that was price enough to pay for an Abel of that sort。
  Anyhow; he wouldn't listen to me。  'This thing must take its course。
  I represent the law here。'  He was shaking like a leaf。
  ‘So you won't?' ‘No!' 'Then I hope you will be able to sleep on that;'
  I said; and turned my back on him。  ‘I wonder that you can;'
  cries he; and locks the door。
  〃Well after that; I couldn't。 Not very well。
  That was three weeks ago。  We have had a slow passage
  through the Java Sea; drifted about Carimata for ten days。
  When we anchored here they thought; I suppose; it was all right。
  The nearest land (and that's five miles) is the ship's destination;
  the consul would soon set about catching me; and there would
  have been no object in bolding to these islets there。
  I don't suppose there's a drop of water on them。  I don't know
  how it was; but tonight that steward; after bringing me my supper;
  went out to let me eat it; and left the door unlocked。
  And I ate itall there was; too。  After I had finished I strolled
  out on the quarter…deck。 I don't know that I meant to do anything。
  A breath of fresh air was all I wanted; I believe。
  Then a sudden temptation came over me。  I kicked off my slippers
  and was in the water before I had made up my mind fairly。
  Somebody heard the splash and they raised an awful hullabaloo。
  ‘He's gone!  Lower the boats!  He's committed suicide!
  No; he's swimming。'  Certainly I was swimming。  It's not
  so easy for a swimmer like me to commit suicide by drowning。
  I landed on the nearest islet before the boat left the ship's side。
  I heard them pulling about in the dark; hailing; and so on; but after
  a bit they gave up。  Everything quieted down and the anchorage
  became still as death。  I sat down on a stone and began to think。
  I felt certain they would start searching for me at daylight。
  There was no place to hide on those stony things
  and if there had been; what would have been the good?
  But now I was clear of that ship; I was not going back。
  So after a while I took off all my clothes; tied them up in a
  bundle with a stone inside; and dropped them in the deep water
  on the outer side of that islet。  That was suicide enough for me。
  Let them think what they liked; but I didn't mean to drown myself。
  I meant to swim till I sankbut that's not the same thing。
  I struck out for another of these little islands; and it
  was from that one that I first saw your riding light。
  Something to swim for。  I went on easily; and on the way I came
  upon a flat rock a foot or two above water。  In the daytime;
  I dare say; you might make it out with a glass from your poop。
  I scrambled up on it and rested myself for a bit。
  Then I made another start。  That last spell must have been
  over a mile。〃
  His whisper was getting fainter and fainter; and all the time
  he stared straight out through the porthole; in which there
  was not even a star to be seen。  I had not interrupted him。
  There was something that made comment impossible in his narrative;
  or perhaps in himself; a sort of feeling; a quality; which I can't find
  a name for。  And when he ceased; all I found was a futile whisper:
  〃So you swam for our light?〃
  〃Yesstraight for it。  It was something to swim for。
  I couldn't see any stars low down because the coast was in the way;
  and I couldn't see the land; either。  The water was like glass。
  One might have been swimming in a confounded thousand…feet deep
  cistern with no place for scrambling out anywhere; but what I didn't
  like was the notion of swimming round and round like a crazed
  bullock before I gave out; and as I didn't mean to go back。
  。 。 No。 Do you see me being hauled back; stark naked;
  off one of these little islands by the scruff of the neck
  and fighting like a wild beast?  Somebody would have got killed
  for certain; and I did not want any of that。  So I went on。
  Then your ladder〃
  〃Why didn't you hail the ship?〃  I asked; a little louder。
  He touched my shoulder lightly。  Lazy footsteps came right over our heads
  and stopped。  The second mate had crossed from the other side of the poop
  and might have been hanging over the rail for all we knew。
  〃He couldn't hear us talkingcould he?〃  My double breathed
  into my very ear; anxiously。
  His anxiety was in answer; a sufficient answer; to the question
  I had put to him。  An answer containing all the difficulty
  of that situation。  I closed the porthole quietly; to make sure。
  A louder word might have been overheard。
  〃Who's that?〃 he whispered then。
  〃My second mate。  But I don't know much more of the fellow than you do。〃
  And I told him a little about myself。  I had been appointed to take
  charge while I least expected anything of the sort; not quite
  a fortnight ago。  I didn't know either the ship or the people。
  Hadn't had the time in port to look about me or size anybody up。
  And as to the crew; all they knew was that I was appointed to take
  the ship home。  For the rest; I was almost as much of a stranger on
  board as himself; I said。  And at the moment I felt it most acutely。
  I felt that it would take very little to make me a suspect person
  in the eyes of the ship's company。
  He had turned about meantime; and we; the two strangers in the ship;
  faced each other in identical attitudes。
  〃Your ladder〃 he murmured; after a silence。  〃Who'd have thought
  of finding a ladder hanging over at night in a ship anchored out here!
  I felt just then a very unpleasant faintness。  After the life I've
  been leading for nine weeks; anybody would have got out of condition。
  I wasn't capable of swimming round as far as your rudder chains。
  And; lo and behold! there was a ladder to get hold of。
  After I gripped it I said to myself; ‘What's the good?'
  When I saw a man's head looking over I thought I would swim away
  presently and leave him shoutingin whatever language it was。
  I didn't mind being looked at。  II liked it。  And then you speaking to me
  so quietlyas if you had expected memade me hold on a little longer。
  It had been a confounded lonely timeI don't mean while swimming。
  I was glad to talk a little to somebody that didn't belong to the Sephora。
  As to asking for the captain; that was a mere impulse。  It could
  have been no use; with all the ship knowing about me and the other
  people pretty certain to be round here in the morning。  I don't know
  I wanted to be seen; to talk with somebody; before I went on。
  I don't know what I would have said。  。 。 。 ‘Fine night; isn't it?'
  or something of the sort