第 57 节
作者:吹嘻      更新:2021-11-05 20:37      字数:9322
  The general verdict received my assent。  I had never met those
  delightful people; but was always expecting to meet them。  Hitherto
  they had been conspicuous by their absence。  According to my
  experience in Spain; France; and Germany; such dinners had been
  dreary or noisy and vapid。  If the guests were English; they were
  chillingly silent; or surlily monosyllabic: to their neighbors they
  were frigid; amongst each other they spoke in low undertones。  And
  if the guests were foreigners; they were noisy; clattering; and
  chattering; foolish for the most part; and vivaciously commonplace。
  I don't know which made me feel most dreary。  The predominance of
  my countrymen gave the dinner the gayety of a funeral; the
  predominance of the Mossoo gave it the fatigue of got…up
  enthusiasm; of trivial expansiveness。  To hear strangers imparting
  the scraps of erudition and connoisseurship which they had that
  morning gathered from their valets de place and guide…books; or
  describing the sights they had just seen; to you; who either saw
  them yesterday; or would see them to…morrow; could not be
  permanently attractive。  My mind refuses to pasture on such food
  with gusto。  I cannot be made to care what the Herr Baron's
  sentiments about Albert Durer or Lucas Cranach may be。  I can
  digest my rindfleisch without the aid of the commis voyageur's
  criticisms on Gothic architecture。  This may be my misfortune。  In
  spite of the Italian blood which I inherit; I am a shy manshy as
  the purest Briton。  But; like other shy men; I make up in obstinacy
  what may be deficient in expansiveness。  I can be frightened into
  silence; but I won't be dictated to。  You might as well attempt the
  persuasive effect of your eloquence upon a snail who has withdrawn
  into his shell at your approach; and will not emerge till his
  confidence is restored。  To be told that I MUST see this; and ought
  to go there; because my casual neighbor was charme; has never
  presented itself to me as an adequate motive。
  From this you readily gather that I am severely taciturn at a table
  d'hote。  I refrain from joining in the 〃delightful conversation〃
  which flies across the table; and know that my reticence is
  attributed to 〃insular pride。〃  It is really and truly nothing but
  impatience of commonplace。  I thoroughly enjoy good talk; but; ask
  yourself; what are the probabilities of hearing that rare thing in
  the casual assemblage of forty or fifty people; not brought
  together by any natural affinities or interests; but thrown
  together by the accident of being in the same district; and in the
  same hotel?  They are not 〃forty feeding like one;〃 but like forty。
  They have no community; except the community of commonplace。  No;
  tables d'hote are not delightful; and do not gather interesting
  people together。
  Such has been my extensive experience。  But this at Nuremberg is a
  conspicuous exception。  At that table there was one guest who; on
  various grounds; personal and incidental; remains the most
  memorable man I ever met。  From the first he riveted my attention
  in an unusual degree。  He had not; as yet; induced me to emerge
  from my habitual reserve; for in truth; although he riveted my
  attention; he inspired me with a strange feeling of repulsion。  I
  could scarcely keep my eyes from him; yet; except the formal bow on
  sitting down and rising from the table; I had interchanged no sign
  of fellowship with him。  He was a young Russian; named Bourgonef;
  as I at once learned; rather handsome; and peculiarly arresting to
  the eye; partly from an air of settled melancholy; especially in
  his smile; the amiability of which seemed breaking from under
  clouds of grief; and still more so from the mute appeal to sympathy
  in the empty sleeve of his right arm; which was looped to the
  breast…button of his coat。  His eyes were large and soft。  He had
  no beard or whisker; and only delicate moustaches。  The sorrow;
  quiet but profound; the amiable smile and the lost arm; were
  appealing details which at once arrested attention and excited
  sympathy。  But to me this sympathy was mingled with a vague
  repulsion; occasioned by a certain falseness in the amiable smile;
  and a furtiveness in the eyes; which I sawor fanciedand which;
  with an inexplicable reserve; forming as it were the impregnable
  citadel in the center of his outwardly polite and engaging manner;
  gave me something of that vague impression which we express by the
  words 〃instinctive antipathy。〃
  It was; when calmly considered; eminently absurd。  To see one so
  young; and by his conversation so highly cultured and intelligent;
  condemned to early helplessness; his food cut up for him by a
  servant; as if he were a child; naturally engaged pity; and; on the
  first day; I cudgeled my brains during the greater part of dinner
  in the effort to account for his lost arm。  He was obviously not a
  military man; the unmistakable look and stoop of a student told
  that plainly enough。  Nor was the loss one dating from early life:
  he used his left arm too awkwardly for the event not to have had a
  recent date。  Had it anything to do with his melancholy?  Here was
  a topic for my vagabond imagination; and endless were the romances
  woven by it during my silent dinner。  For the reader must be told
  of one peculiarity in me; because to it much of the strange
  complications of my story are due; complications into which a mind
  less active in weaving imaginary hypotheses to interpret casual and
  trifling facts would never have been drawn。  From my childhood I
  have been the victim of my constructive imagination; which has led
  me into many mistakes and some scrapes; because; instead of
  contenting myself with plain; obvious evidence; I have allowed
  myself to frame hypothetical interpretations; which; to acts simple
  in themselves; and explicable on ordinary motives; render the
  simple…seeming acts portentous。  With bitter pangs of self…reproach
  I have at times discovered that a long and plausible history
  constructed by me; relating to personal friends; has crumpled into
  a ruin of absurdity; by the disclosure of the primary misconception
  on which the whole history was based。  I have gone; let us say; on
  the supposition that two people were secretly lovers; on this
  supposition my imagination has constructed a whole scheme to
  explain certain acts; and one fine day I have discovered
  indubitably that the supposed lovers were not lovers; but
  confidants of their passions in other directions; and; of course;
  all my conjectures have been utterly false。  The secret flush of
  shame at failure has not; however; prevented my falling into
  similar mistakes immediately after。
  When; therefore; I hereafter speak of my 〃constructive
  imagination;〃 the reader will know to what I am alluding。  It was
  already busy with Bourgonef。  To it must be added that vague
  repulsion; previously mentioned。  This feeling abated on the second
  day; but; although lessened; it remained powerful enough to prevent
  my speaking to him。  Whether it would have continued to abate until
  it disappeared; as such antipathies often disappear; under the
  familiarities of prolonged intercourse; without any immediate
  appeal to my amour propre; I know not; but every reflective mind;
  conscious of being accessible to antipathies; will remember that
  one certain method of stifling them is for the object to make some
  appeal to our interest or our vanity: in the engagement of these
  more powerful feelings; the antipathy is quickly strangled。  At any
  rate it is so in my case; and was so now。
  On the third day; the conversation at table happening to turn; as
  it often turned; upon St。 Sebald's Church; a young Frenchman; who
  was criticising its architecture with fluent dogmatism; drew
  Bourgonef into the discussion; and thereby elicited such a display
  of accurate and extensive knowledge; no less than delicacy of
  appreciation; that we were all listening spellbound。  In the midst
  of this triumphant exposition the irritated vanity of the Frenchman
  could do nothing to regain his position but oppose a flat denial to
  a historical statement made by Bourgonef; backing his denial by the
  confident assertion that 〃all the competent authorities〃 held with
  him。  At this point Bourgonef appealed to me; and in that tone of
  deference so exquisitely flattering from one we already know to be
  superior he requested my decision; observing that; from the manner
  in which he had seen me examine the details of the architecture; he
  could not be mistaken in his confidence that I was a connoisseur。
  All eyes were turned upon me。  As a shy man; this made me blush; as
  a vain man; the blush was accompanied with delight。  It might
  easily have happened that such an appeal; acting at once upon
  shyness and ignorance; would have inflamed my wrath; but the appeal
  happening to be directed on a point which I had recently
  investigated and thoroughly mastered; I was flattered at the
  opportunity of a victorious