I　had　got　master　of　my　SECRET　just　in　time　to　turn　these　honors　to
  some　little　account；　otherwise；　as　is　commonly　the　case；　I　should
  have　dined　or　supped　a　single　time　or　two　round；　and　then　by
  TRANSLATING　French　looks　and　attitudes　into　plain　English；　I　should
  presently　have　seen　that　I　had　got　hold　of　the　couvert*　of　some
  more　entertaining　guest；　and　in　course　of　time　should　have　resigned
  all　my　places　one　after　another；　merely　upon　the　principle　that　I
  could　not　keep　them。　　As　it　was；　things　did　not　go　much　amiss。
  *　Plate；　napkin；　knife；　fork；　and　spoon。
  I　had　the　honor　of　being　introduced　to　the　old　Marquis　de　B。
  In　days　of　yore　he　had　signalized　himself　by　some　small　feats　of
  chivalry　in　the　Cour　d'Amour；　and　had　dressed　himself　out　to　the
  idea　of　tilts　and　tournaments　ever　since。　　The　Marquis　de　B
  wished　to　have　it　thought　the　affair　was　somewhere　else　than　in　his
  brain。　　〃He　could　like　to　take　a　trip　to　England；〃　and　asked　much
  of　the　English　ladies。　　〃Stay　where　you　are；　I　beseech　you；
  Monsieur　le　Marquis；〃　said　I。　　〃Les　Messieurs　Anglais　can　scarce
  get　a　kind　look　from　them　as　it　is。〃　　The　marquis　invited　me　to
  supper。
  M。　P；　the　farmer…general；　was　just　as　inquisitive　about　our
  taxes。　　They　were　very　considerable；　he　heard。　　〃If　we　knew　but　how
  to　collect　them；〃　said　I；　making　him　a　low　bow。
  I　could　never　have　been　invited　to　M。　P's　concerts　upon　any
  other　terms。
  I　had　been　misrepresented　to　Mme。　de　Q　as　an　espritMme。　de　Q
  was　an　esprit　herself；　she　burned　with　impatience　to　see　me　and
  hear　me　talk。　　I　had　not　taken　my　seat　before　I　saw　she　did　not
  care　a　sou　whether　I　had　any　wit　or　no。　　I　was　let　in　to　be
  convinced　she　had。　　I　call　Heaven　to　witness　I　never　once　opened
  the　door　of　my　lips。
  Mme。　de　V　vowed　to　every　creature　she　met；　〃She　had　never　had　a
  more　improving　conversation　with　a　man　in　her　life。〃
  There　are　three　epochs　in　the　empire　of　a　Frenchwomanshe　is
  coquette；　then　deist；　then　devote。　　The　empire　during　these　is
  never　lostshe　only　changes　her　subjects。　　When　thirty…five　years
  and　more　have　unpeopled　her　dominion　of　the　slaves　of　love　she
  repeoples　it　with　slaves　of　infidelity；　and；　then　with　the　slaves
  of　the　church。
  Mme。　de　V　was　vibrating　between　the　first　of　these　epochs；　the
  color　of　the　rose　was　fading　fast　away；　she　ought　to　have　been　a
  deist　five　years　before　the　time　I　had　the　honor　to　pay　my　first
  visit。
  She　placed　me　upon　the　same　sofa　with　her　for　the　sake　of　disputing
  the　point　of　religion　more　closely。　　In　short；　Mme。　de　V　told
  me　she　believed　nothing。
  I　told　Mme。　de　V　it　might　be　her　principle；　but　I　was　sure　it
  could　not　be　her　interest；　to　level　the　outworks；　without　which　I
  could　not　conceive　how　such　a　citadel　as　hers　could　be　defended；
  that　there　was　not　a　more　dangerous　thing　in　the　world　than　for　a
  beauty　to　be　a　deist；　that　it　was　a　debt　I　owed　my　creed　not　to
  conceal　it　from　her；　that　I　had　not　been　five　minutes　upon　the　sofa
  beside　her　before　I　had　begun　to　form　designs；　and　what　is　it　but
  the　sentiments　of　religion；　and　the　persuasion　they　had　existed　in
  her　breast；　which　could　have　checked　them　as　they　rose　up？
  〃We　are　not　adamant；〃　said　I；　taking　hold　of　her　hand；　〃and　there
  is　need　of　all　restraints　till　age　in　her　own　time　steals　in　and
  lays　them　on　us；　but；　my　dear　lady；〃　said　I；　kissing　her　hand；　〃it
  is　tootoo　soon。〃
  I　declare　I　had　the　credit　all　over　Paris　of　unperverting　Mme。　de
  V。　　She　affirmed　to　M。　D　and　the　Abbe　M　that　in　one
  half　hour　I　had　said　more　for　revealed　religion　than　all　their
  encyclopaedia　had　said　against　it。　　I　was　listed　directly　into　Mme。
  de　Vo's　coterie；　and　she　put　off　the　epoch　of　deism　for　two
  years。
  I　remember　it　was　in　this　coterie；　in　the　middle　of　a　discourse；　in
  which　I　was　showing　the　necessity　of　a　first　cause；　that　the　young
  Count　de　Faineant　took　me　by　the　hand　to　the　farthest　corner　of　the
  room；　to　tell　me　that　my　solitaire　was　pinned　too　strait　about　my
  neck。　　〃It　should　be　plus　badinant；〃　said　the　count；　looking　down
  upon　his　own；　〃but　a　word；　M。　Yorick；　to　the　wise〃
  〃And　from　the　wise；　M。　le　Comte；〃　replied　I；　making　him　a　bow；　〃is
  enough。〃
  The　Count　de　Faineant　embraced　me　with　more　ardor　than　ever　I　was
  embraced　by　mortal　man。
  For　three　weeks　together　I　was　of　every　man's　opinion　I　met。
  〃Pardi！　ce　M。　Yorick　a　autant　d'esprit　que　nous　autres。〃
  〃Il　raisonne　bien；〃　said　another。
  〃C'est　un　bon　enfant；〃　said　a　third。
  And　at　this　price　I　could　have　eaten　and　drunk　and　been　merry　all
  the　days　of　my　life　at　Paris；　but　it　was　a　dishonest　reckoning。　　I
  grew　ashamed　of　it；　it　was　the　gain　of　a　slave；　every　sentiment　of
  honor　revolted　against　it；　the　higher　I　got；　the　more　was　I　forced
  upon　my　beggarly　system；　the　better　the　coterie；　the　more　children
  of　Art；　I　languished　for　those　of　Nature。　　And　one　night；　after　a
  most　vile　prostitution　of　myself　to　half　a　dozen　different　people；
  I　grew　sick；　went　to　bed；　and　ordered　horses　in　the　morning　to　set
  out　for　Italy。
  CONTRAST
  A　shoe　coming　loose　from　the　forefoot　of　the　thill　horse　at　the
  beginning　of　the　ascent　of　Mount　Taurira；　the　postilion　dismounted；
  twisted　the　shoe　off；　and　put　it　in　his　pocket；　as　the　ascent　was
  of　five　or　six　miles；　and　that　horse　our　main　dependence　I　made　a
  point　of　having　the　shoe　fastened　on　again　as　well　as　we　could；　but
  the　postilion　had　thrown　away　the　nails；　and　the　hammer　in　the
  chaise　box　being　of　no　great　use　without　them；　I　submitted　to　go
  on。
  He　had　not　mounted　half　a　mile　higher　when；　coming　to　a　flinty
  piece　of　road；　the　poor　devil　lost　a　second　shoe；　and　from　off　his
  other　forefoot。　　I　then　got　out　of　the　chaise　in　good　earnest；　and
  seeing　a　house　about　a　quarter　of　a　mile　to　the　left　hand；　with　a
  great　deal　to　do　I　prevailed　upon　the　postilion　to　turn　up　to　it。
  The　look　of　the　house；　and　of　everything　about　it；　as　we　drew
  nearer；　soon　reconciled　me　to　the　disaster。　　It　was　a　little
  farmhouse　surrounded　with　about　twenty　acres　of　vineyard；　about　as
  much　corn；　and　close　to　the　house　on　one　side　was　a　potagerie　of　an
  acre　and　a　half；　full　of　everything　which　could　make　plenty　in　a
  French　peasant's　house；　and　on　the　other　side　was　a　little　wood
  which　furnished　wherewithal　to　dress　it。　　It　was　about　eight　in　the
  evening　when　I　got　to　the　house；　so　I　left　the　postilion　to　manage
  his　point　as　he　could；　and　for　mine　I　walked　directly　into　the
  house。
  The　family　consisted　of　an　old　gray…headed　man　and　his　wife；　with
  five　or　six　sons　and　sons…in…laws；　and　their　several　wives；　and　a
  joyous　genealogy　out　of　them。
  They　were　all　sitting　down　together　to　their　lentil　soup。　　A　large
  wheaten　loaf　was　in　the　middle　of　the　table；　and　a　flagon　of　wine
  at　each　end　of　it　promised　joy　through　the　stages　of　the　repast
  'twas　a　feast　of　love。
  The　old　man　rose　up　to　meet　me；　and　with　a　respectful　cordiality
  would　have　me　sit　down　at　the　table。　　My　heart　was　sat　down　the
  moment　I　entered　the　room；　so　I　sat　down　at　once　like　a　son　of　the
  family；　and　to　invest　myself　in　the　character　as　speedily　as　I
  could；　I　instantly　borrowed　the　old　man's　knife；　and　taking　up　the
  loaf　cut　myself　a　hearty　luncheon；　and；　as　I　did　it；　I　saw　a
  testimony　in　every　eye；　not　only　of　an　honest　welcome；　but　of　a
  welcome　mixed　with　thanks　that　I　had　not　seemed　to　doubt　it。
  Was　it　this；　or　tell　me；　Nature；　what　else　it　was　that　made　this
  morsel　so　sweet；　and　to　what　magic　I　owe　it　that　the　draught　I　took
  of　their　flagon　was　so　delicious　with　it　that　they　remain　upon　my
  palate　to　this　hour？
  If　the　supper　was　to　my　taste；　the　grace　which　followed　it　was　much
  more　so。
  When　supper　was　over；　the　old　man　gave　a　knock　upon　the　table　with
  the　haft　of　his　knife　to　bid　them　prepare　for　the　dance。　　The
  moment　the　signal　was　given；　the　women　and　girls　ran　all　together
  into　a　back　apartment　to　tie　up　their　hair；　and　the　young　men　to
  the　door　to　wash　their　faces　and　change　their　sabots；　and　in　three
  minutes　every　soul　was　ready　upon　a　little　esplanade　before　the
  house　to　begin。　　The　old　man　and　his　wife　came　out　last；　and；
  placing　me　betwixt　them；　sat　down　upon　a　sofa　of　turf　by　the　door。
  The　old　man　had　some　fifty　years　ago　been　no　mean　performer　upon
  the　vielle；*　and　at　the　age　he　was　then　of；　touched　well　enough　for
  the　purpose。　　His　wife　sung　now　and　then　a　little　to　the　tune；　then
  intermitted；　and　joined　her　old　man　again；　as　their　children　and
  grandchildren　danced　before　them。
  *　A　small　violin；　such　as　was　used　by　the　wandering　jongleurs　of
  the　Middle　Ages。EDITOR。
  It　was　not　till　the　middle　of　the　second　dance　when；　from　some
  pauses　in　the　movement　wherein　they　all　seemed　to　look　up；　I
  fancied　I　could　distinguish　an　elevation　of　spirit　different　from
  that　which　is　the　cause　or　the　effect　of　simple　jollity。　　In　a
  word；　I　thought　I　beheld