第 16 节
作者:莫再讲      更新:2021-05-04 17:53      字数:9322
  would have been too plebeian for you since they had to lead; to
  suffer with; to understand the commonest humanity。  No; you are
  merely of the topmost layer; disdainful and superior; the mere pure
  froth and bubble on the inscrutable depths which some day will toss
  you out of existence。  But you are you!  You are you!  You are the
  eternal love itself … only; O Divinity; it isn't your body; it is
  your soul that is made of foam。〃
  She listened as if in a dream。  He had succeeded so well in his
  effort to drive back the flood of his passion that his life itself
  seemed to run with it out of his body。  At that moment he felt as
  one dead speaking。  But the headlong wave returning with tenfold
  force flung him on her suddenly; with open arms and blazing eyes。
  She found herself like a feather in his grasp; helpless; unable to
  struggle; with her feet off the ground。  But this contact with her;
  maddening like too much felicity; destroyed its own end。  Fire ran
  through his veins; turned his passion to ashes; burnt him out and
  left him empty; without force … almost without desire。  He let her
  go before she could cry out。  And she was so used to the forms of
  repression enveloping; softening the crude impulses of old humanity
  that she no longer believed in their existence as if it were an
  exploded legend。  She did not recognise what had happened to her。
  She came safe out of his arms; without a struggle; not even having
  felt afraid。
  〃What's the meaning of this?〃 she said; outraged but calm in a
  scornful way。
  He got down on his knees in silence; bent low to her very feet;
  while she looked down at him; a little surprised; without
  animosity; as if merely curious to see what he would do。  Then;
  while he remained bowed to the ground pressing the hem of her skirt
  to his lips; she made a slight movement。  He got up。
  〃No;〃 he said。  〃Were you ever so much mine what could I do with
  you without your consent?  No。  You don't conquer a wraith; cold
  mist; stuff of dreams; illusion。  It must come to you and cling to
  your breast。  And then!  Oh!  And then!〃
  All ecstasy; all expression went out of his face。
  〃Mr。 Renouard;〃 she said; 〃though you can have no claim on my
  consideration after having decoyed me here for the vile purpose;
  apparently; of gloating over me as your possible prey; I will tell
  you that I am not perhaps the extraordinary being you think I am。
  You may believe me。  Here I stand for truth itself。〃
  〃What's that to me what you are?〃 he answered。  〃At a sign from you
  I would climb up to the seventh heaven to bring you down to earth
  for my own … and if I saw you steeped to the lips in vice; in
  crime; in mud; I would go after you; take you to my arms … wear you
  for an incomparable jewel on my breast。  And that's love … true
  love … the gift and the curse of the gods。  There is no other。〃
  The truth vibrating in his voice made her recoil slightly; for she
  was not fit to hear it … not even a little … not even one single
  time in her life。  It was revolting to her; and in her trouble;
  perhaps prompted by the suggestion of his name or to soften the
  harshness of expression; for she was obscurely moved; she spoke to
  him in French。
  〃ASSEZ!  J'AI HORREUR DE TOUT CELA;〃 she said。
  He was white to his very lips; but he was trembling no more。  The
  dice had been cast; and not even violence could alter the throw。
  She passed by him unbendingly; and he followed her down the path。
  After a time she heard him saying:
  〃And your dream is to influence a human destiny?〃
  〃Yes!〃 she answered curtly; unabashed; with a woman's complete
  assurance。
  〃Then you may rest content。  You have done it。〃
  She shrugged her shoulders slightly。  But just before reaching the
  end of the path she relented; stopped; and went back to him。
  〃I don't suppose you are very anxious for people to know how near
  you came to absolute turpitude。  You may rest easy on that point。
  I shall speak to my father; of course; and we will agree to say
  that he has died … nothing more。〃
  〃Yes;〃 said Renouard in a lifeless voice。  〃He is dead。  His very
  ghost shall be done with presently。〃
  She went on; but he remained standing stock still in the dusk。  She
  had already reached the three palms when she heard behind her a
  loud peal of laughter; cynical and joyless; such as is heard in
  smoking…rooms at the end of a scandalous story。  It made her feel
  positively faint for a moment。
  CHAPTER XI
  Slowly a complete darkness enveloped Geoffrey Renouard。  His
  resolution had failed him。  Instead of following Felicia into the
  house; he had stopped under the three palms; and leaning against a
  smooth trunk had abandoned himself to a sense of an immense
  deception and the feeling of extreme fatigue。  This walk up the
  hill and down again was like the supreme effort of an explorer
  trying to penetrate the interior of an unknown country; the secret
  of which is too well defended by its cruel and barren nature。
  Decoyed by a mirage; he had gone too far … so far that there was no
  going back。  His strength was at an end。  For the first time in his
  life he had to give up; and with a sort of despairing self…
  possession he tried to understand the cause of the defeat。  He did
  not ascribe it to that absurd dead man。
  The hesitating shadow of Luiz approached him unnoticed till it
  spoke timidly。  Renouard started。
  〃Eh?  What?  Dinner waiting?  You must say I beg to be excused。  I
  can't come。  But I shall see them to…morrow morning; at the landing
  place。  Take your orders from the professor as to the sailing of
  the schooner。  Go now。〃
  Luiz; dumbfounded; retreated into the darkness。  Renouard did not
  move; but hours afterwards; like the bitter fruit of his
  immobility; the words:  〃I had nothing to offer to her vanity;〃
  came from his lips in the silence of the island。  And it was then
  only that he stirred; only to wear the night out in restless
  tramping up and down the various paths of the plantation。  Luiz;
  whose sleep was made light by the consciousness of some impending
  change; heard footsteps passing by his hut; the firm tread of the
  master; and turning on his mats emitted a faint Tse! Tse! Tse! of
  deep concern。
  Lights had been burning in the bungalow almost all through the
  night; and with the first sign of day began the bustle of
  departure。  House boys walked processionally carrying suit…cases
  and dressing…bags down to the schooner's boat; which came to the
  landing place at the bottom of the garden。  Just as the rising sun
  threw its golden nimbus around the purple shape of the headland;
  the Planter of Malata was perceived pacing bare…headed the curve of
  the little bay。  He exchanged a few words with the sailing…master
  of the schooner; then remained by the boat; standing very upright;
  his eyes on the ground; waiting。
  He had not long to wait。  Into the cool; overshadowed garden the
  professor descended first; and came jauntily down the path in a
  lively cracking of small shells。  With his closed parasol hooked on
  his forearm; and a book in his hand; he resembled a banal tourist
  more than was permissible to a man of his unique distinction。  He
  waved the disengaged arm from a distance; but at close quarters;
  arrested before Renouard's immobility; he made no offer to shake
  hands。  He seemed to appraise the aspect of the man with a sharp
  glance; and made up his mind。
  〃We are going back by Suez;〃 he began almost boisterously。  〃I have
  been looking up the sailing lists。  If the zephirs of your Pacific
  are only moderately propitious I think we are sure to catch the
  mail boat due in Marseilles on the 18th of March。  This will suit
  me excellently。 。 。 。〃  He lowered his tone。  〃My dear young
  friend; I'm deeply grateful to you。〃
  Renouard's set lips moved。
  〃Why are you grateful to me?〃
  〃Ah!  Why?  In the first place you might have made us miss the next
  boat; mightn't you? 。 。 。 I don't thank you for your hospitality。
  You can't be angry with me for saying that I am truly thankful to
  escape from it。  But I am grateful to you for what you have done;
  and … for being what you are。〃
  It was difficult to define the flavour of that speech; but Renouard
  received it with an austerely equivocal smile。  The professor
  stepping into the boat opened his parasol and sat down in the
  stern…sheets waiting for the ladies。  No sound of human voice broke
  the fresh silence of the morning while they walked the broad path;
  Miss Moorsom a little in advance of her aunt。
  When she came abreast of him Renouard rai