第 75 节
作者:不受约束      更新:2021-05-04 17:23      字数:9235
  thoughtful frown; upon the Doctor; or his wife; or both。
  The Doctor was very fond of music。 Agnes sang with great
  sweetness and expression; and so did Mrs。 Strong。 They sang
  together; and played duets together; and we had quite a little
  concert。 But I remarked two things: first; that though Annie soon
  recovered her composure; and was quite herself; there was a blank
  between her and Mr。 Wickfield which separated them wholly from
  each other; secondly; that Mr。 Wickfield seemed to dislike the
  intimacy between her and Agnes; and to watch it with uneasiness。
  And now; I must confess; the recollection of what I had seen on
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  David Copperfield
  that night when Mr。 Maldon went away; first began to return upon
  me with a meaning it had never had; and to trouble me。 The
  innocent beauty of her face was not as innocent to me as it had
  been; I mistrusted the natural grace and charm of her manner;
  and when I looked at Agnes by her side; and thought how good
  and true Agnes was; suspicions arose within me that it was an ill…
  assorted friendship。
  She was so happy in it herself; however; and the other was so
  happy too; that they made the evening fly away as if it were but an
  hour。 It closed in an incident which I well remember。 They were
  taking leave of each other; and Agnes was going to embrace her
  and kiss her; when Mr。 Wickfield stepped between them; as if by
  accident; and drew Agnes quickly away。 Then I saw; as though all
  the intervening time had been cancelled; and I were still standing
  in the doorway on the night of the departure; the expression of
  that night in the face of Mrs。 Strong; as it confronted his。
  I cannot say what an impression this made upon me; or how
  impossible I found it; when I thought of her afterwards; to
  separate her from this look; and remember her face in its innocent
  loveliness again。 It haunted me when I got home。 I seemed to have
  left the Doctor’s roof with a dark cloud lowering on it。 The
  reverence that I had for his grey head; was mingled with
  commiseration for his faith in those who were treacherous to him;
  and with resentment against those who injured him。 The
  impending shadow of a great affliction; and a great disgrace that
  had no distinct form in it yet; fell like a stain upon the quiet place
  where I had worked and played as a boy; and did it a cruel wrong。
  I had no pleasure in thinking; any more; of the grave old broad…
  leaved aloe…trees; which remained shut up in themselves a
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  hundred years together; and of the trim smooth grass…plot; and the
  stone urns; and the Doctor’s walk; and the congenial sound of the
  Cathedral bell hovering above them all。 It was as if the tranquil
  sanctuary of my boyhood had been sacked before my face; and its
  peace and honour given to the winds。
  But morning brought with it my parting from the old house;
  which Agnes had filled with her influence; and that occupied my
  mind sufficiently。 I should be there again soon; no doubt; I might
  sleep again—perhaps often—in my old room; but the days of my
  inhabiting there were gone; and the old time was past。 I was
  heavier at heart when I packed up such of my books and clothes as
  still remained there to be sent to Dover; than I cared to show to
  Uriah Heep; who was so officious to help me; that I uncharitably
  thought him mighty glad that I was going。
  I got away from Agnes and her father; somehow; with an
  indifferent show of being very manly; and took my seat upon the
  box of the London coach。 I was so softened and forgiving; going
  through the town; that I had half a mind to nod to my old enemy
  the butcher; and throw him five shillings to drink。 But he looked
  such a very obdurate butcher as he stood scraping the great block
  in the shop; and moreover; his appearance was so little improved
  by the loss of a front tooth which I had knocked out; that I thought
  it best to make no advances。
  The main object on my mind; I remember; when we got fairly
  on the road; was to appear as old as possible to the coachman; and
  to speak extremely gruff。 The latter point I achieved at great
  personal inconvenience; but I stuck to it; because I felt it was a
  grown…up sort of thing。
  ‘You are going through; sir?’ said the coachman。
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  David Copperfield
  ‘Yes; William;’ I said; condescendingly (I knew him); ‘I am going
  to London。 I shall go down into Suffolk afterwards。’
  ‘Shooting; sir?’ said the coachman。
  He knew as well as I did that it was just as likely; at that time of
  year; I was going down there whaling; but I felt complimented;
  too。
  ‘I don’t know;’ I said; pretending to be undecided; ‘whether I
  shall take a shot or not。’
  ‘Birds is got wery shy; I’m told;’ said William。
  ‘So I understand;’ said I。
  ‘Is Suffolk your county; sir?’ asked William。
  ‘Yes;’ I said; with some importance。 ‘Suffolk’s my county。’
  ‘I’m told the dumplings is uncommon fine down there;’ said
  William。
  I was not aware of it myself; but I felt it necessary to uphold the
  institutions of my county; and to evince a familiarity with them; so
  I shook my head; as much as to say; ‘I believe you!’
  ‘And the Punches;’ said William。 ‘There’s cattle! A Suffolk
  Punch; when he’s a good un; is worth his weight in gold。 Did you
  ever breed any Suffolk Punches yourself; sir?’
  ‘N…no;’ I said; ‘not exactly。’
  ‘Here’s a gen’lm’n behind me; I’ll pound it;’ said William; ‘as has
  bred ’em by wholesale。’
  The gentleman spoken of was a gentleman with a very
  unpromising squint; and a prominent chin; who had a tall white
  hat on with a narrow flat brim; and whose close…fitting drab
  trousers seemed to button all the way up outside his legs from his
  boots to his hips。 His chin was cocked over the coachman’s
  shoulder; so near to me; that his breath quite tickled the back of
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  my head; and as I looked at him; he leered at the leaders with the
  eye with which he didn’t squint; in a very knowing manner。
  ‘Ain’t you?’ asked William。
  ‘Ain’t I what?’ said the gentleman behind。
  ‘Bred them Suffolk Punches by wholesale?’
  ‘I should think so;’ said the gentleman。 ‘There ain’t no sort of
  orse that I ain’t bred; and no sort of dorg。 Orses and dorgs is some
  men’s fancy。 They’re wittles and drink to me—lodging; wife; and
  children—reading; writing; and ’rithmetic—snuff; tobacker; and
  sleep。’
  ‘That ain’t a sort of man to see sitting behind a coach…box; is it
  though?’ said William in my ear; as he handled the reins。
  I construed this remark into an indication of a wish that he
  should have my place; so I blushingly offered to resign it。
  ‘Well; if you don’t mind; sir;’ said William; ‘I think it would be
  more correct。’
  I have always considered this as the first fall I had in life。 When
  I booked my place at the coach office I had had ‘Box Seat’ written
  against the entry; and had given the book…keeper half…a…crown。 I
  was got up in a special great…coat and shawl; expressly to do
  honour to that distinguished eminence; had glorified myself upon
  it a good deal; and had felt that I was a credit to the coach。 And
  here; in the very first stage; I was supplanted by a shabby man
  with a squint; who had no other merit than smelling like a livery…
  stables; and being able to walk across me; more like a fly than a
  human being; while the horses were at a canter!
  A distrust of myself; which has often beset me in life on small
  occasions; when it would have been better away; was assuredly
  not stopped in its growth by this little incident outside the
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  Canterbury coach。 It was in vain to take refuge in gruffness of
  speech。 I spoke from the pit of my stomach for the rest of the
  journey; but I felt completely extinguished; and dreadfully young。
  It was curious and interesting; nevertheless; to be sitting up
  there behind four horses: well educated; well dressed; and with
  plenty of money in my pocket; and to look out for the places where
  I had slept on my weary journey。 I had abundant occupation for
  my thoughts; in every conspicuous landmark on the road。 When I
  looked down at the trampers whom we passed; and saw that well…
  remembered style of face turned up; I felt as if the tinker’s
  blackened hand were in the bosom of my shirt again。 When we
  clattered through the narrow street of Chatham; and I caught a
  glimpse; in passing; of the lane where the old monster lived who
  had bought my jacket; I stretched my neck eagerly to look for the
  place where I had sat; in the sun and in the shade; waiting for my
  money。 When we came; at last; within a stage of London; and
  passed the veritable Salem House where Mr。 Creakle had laid
  about him with a heavy hand; I would have given all I had; for
  lawful permission to get down and thrash him; and let all the boys
  out like so many caged sparrows。
  We went to the Golden