herself；　of　forgetting　her　life；　in　the　continual　intoxication　of
  varied　and　very　brief　occupations。
  〃Thus　we　lived　in　a　perpetual　fog；　in　which　we　did　not
  distinguish　our　condition。　　We　were　like　two　galley…slaves
  fastened　to　the　same　ball；　cursing　each　other；　poisoning　each
  other's　existence；　and　trying　to　shake　each　other　off。　　I　was
  still　unaware　that　ninety…nine　families　out　of　every　hundred　live
  in　the　same　hell；　and　that　it　cannot　be　otherwise。　　I　had　not
  learned　this　fact　from　others　or　from　myself。　　The　coincidences
  that　are　met　in　regular；　and　even　in　irregular　life；　are
  surprising。　　At　the　very　period　when　the　life　of　parents　becomes
  impossible；　it　becomes　indispensable　that　they　go　to　the　city　to
  live；　in　order　to　educate　their　children。　　That　is　what　we　did。〃
  Posdnicheff　became　silent；　and　twice　there　escaped　him；　in　the
  half…darkness；　sighs；　which　at　that　moment　seemed　to　me　like
  suppressed　sobs。　Then　he　continued。
  CHAPTER　XVIII。
  〃So　we　lived　in　the　city。　　In　the　city　the　wretched　feel　less
  sad。　　One　can　live　there　a　hundred　years　without　being　noticed；
  and　be　dead　a　long　time　before　anybody　will　notice　it。　　People
  have　no　time　to　inquire　into　your　life。　All　are　absorbed。
  Business；　social　relations；　art；　the　health　of　children；　their
  education。　　And　there　are　visits　that　must　be　received　and　made；
  it　is　necessary　to　see　this　one；　it　is　necessary　to　hear　that　one
  or　the　other　one。　　In　the　city　there　are　always　one；　two；　or
  three　celebrities　that　it　is　indispensable　that　one　should　visit。
  Now　one　must　care　for　himself；　or　care　for　such　or　such　a　little
  one；　now　it　is　the　professor；　the　private　tutor；　the　governesses；
  。　。　。　and　life　is　absolutely　empty。　　In　this　activity　we　were
  less　conscious　of　the　sufferings　of　our　cohabitation。　　Moreover；
  in　the　first　of　it；　we　had　a　superb　occupation；the　arrangement
  of　the　new　dwelling；　and　then；　too；　the　moving　from　the　city　to
  the　country；　and　from　the　country　to　the　city。
  〃Thus　we　spent　a　winter。　　The　following　winter　an　incident
  happened　to　us　which　passed　unnoticed；　but　which　was　the
  fundamental　cause　of　all　that　happened　later。　　My　wife　was
  suffering；　and　the　rascals　（the　doctors）　would　not　permit　her　to
  conceive　a　child；　and　taught　her　how　to　avoid　it。　　I　was
  profoundly　disgusted。　　I　struggled　vainly　against　it；　but　she
  insisted　frivolously　and　obstinately；　and　I　surrendered。　　The
  last　justification　of　our　life　as　wretches　was　thereby
  suppressed；　and　life　became　baser　than　ever。
  〃The　peasant　and　the　workingman　need　children；　and　hence　their
  conjugal　relations　have　a　justification。　　But　we；　when　we　have　a
  few　children；　have　no　need　of　any　more。　　They　make　a　superfluous
  confusion　of　expenses　and　joint　heirs；　and　are　an　embarrassment。
  Consequently　we　have　no　excuses　for　our　existence　as　wretches；
  but　we　are　so　deeply　degraded　that　we　do　not　see　the　necessity　of
  a　justification。　　The　majority　of　people　in　contemporary　society
  give　themselves　up　to　this　debauchery　without　the　slightest
  remorse。　　We　have　no　conscience　left；　except；　so　to　speak；　the
  conscience　of　public　opinion　and　of　the　criminal　code。　　But　in
  this　matter　neither　of　these　consciences　is　struck。　　There　is　not
  a　being　in　society　who　blushes　at　it。　Each　one　practices　it；X；
  Y；　Z；　etc。　　What　is　the　use　of　multiplying　beggars；　and　depriving
  ourselves　of　the　joys　of　social　life？　　There　is　no　necessity　of
  having　conscience　before　the　criminal　code；　or　of　fearing　it：
  low　girls；　soldiers'　wives　who　throw　their　children　into　ponds　or
  wells；　these　certainly　must　be　put　in　prison。　　But　with　us　the
  suppression　is　effected　opportunely　and　properly。
  〃Thus　we　passed　two　years　more。　　The　method　prescribed　by　the
  rascals　had　evidently　succeeded。　　My　wife　had　grown　stouter　and
  handsomer。　　It　was　the　beauty　of　the　end　of　summer。　　She　felt　it；
  and　paid　much　attention　to　her　person。　　She　had　acquired　that
  provoking　beauty　that　stirs　men。　　She　was　in　all　the　brilliancy
  of　the　wife　of　thirty　years；　who　conceives　no　children；　eats
  heartily；　and　is　excited。　　The　very　sight　of　her　was　enough　to
  frighten　one。　She　was　like　a　spirited　carriage…horse　that　has
  long　been　idle；　and　suddenly　finds　itself　without　a　bridle。　　As
  for　my　wife；　she　had　no　bridle；　as　for　that　matter；　ninety…nine
  hundredths　of　our　women　have　none。〃
  CHAPTER　XIX。
  Posdnicheff's　face　had　become　transformed；　his　eyes　were
  pitiable；　their　expression　seemed　strange；　like　that　of　another
  being　than　himself；　his　moustache　and　beard　turned　up　toward　the
  top　of　his　face；　his　nose　was　diminished；　and　his　mouth　enlarged；
  immense；　frightful。
  〃Yes；〃　he　resumed　〃she　had　grown　stouter　since　ceasing　to
  conceive；　and　her　anxieties　about　her　children　began　to
  disappear。　　Not　even　to　disappear。　　One　would　have　said　that　she
  was　waking　from　a　long　intoxication；　that　on　coming　to　herself
  she　had　perceived　the　entire　universe　with　its　joys；　a　whole
  world　in　which　she　had　not　learned　to　live；　and　which　she　did　not
  understand。
  〃'If　only　this　world　shall　not　vanish！　　When　time　is　past；　when
  old　age　comes；　one　cannot　recover　it。'　　Thus；　I　believe；　she
  thought；　or　rather　felt。　　Moreover；　she　could　neither　think　nor
  feel　otherwise。　　She　had　been　brought　up　in　this　idea　that　there
  is　in　the　world　but　one　thing　worthy　of　attention；love。　　In
  marrying；　she　had　known　something　of　this　love；　but　very　far　from
  everything　that　she　had　understood　as　promised　her；　everything
  that　she　expected。　　How　many　disillusions！　　How　much　suffering！
  And　an　unexpected　torture；the　children！　　This　torture　had　told
  upon　her；　and　then；　thanks　to　the　obliging　doctor；　she　had
  learned　that　it　is　possible　to　avoid　having　children。　　That　had
  made　her　glad。　　She　had　tried；　and　she　was　now　revived　for　the
  only　thing　that　she　knew；for　love。　　But　love　with　a　husband
  polluted　by　jealousy　and　ill…nature　was　no　longer　her　ideal。　　She
  began　to　think　of　some　other　tenderness；　at　least；　that　is　what　I
  thought。　　She　looked　about　her　as　if　expecting　some　event　or　some
  being。　　I　noticed　it；　and　I　could　not　help　being　anxious。
  〃Always；　now；　it　happened　that；　in　talking　with　me　through　a
  third　party　（that　is；　in　talking　with　others；　but　with　the
  intention　that　I　should　hear）；　she　boldly　expressed；not
  thinking　that　an　hour　before　she　had　said　the　opposite；half
  joking；　half　seriously；　this　idea　that　maternal　anxieties　are　a
  delusion；　that　it　is　not　worth　while　to　sacrifice　one's　life　to
  children。　　When　one　is　young；　it　is　necessary　to　enjoy　life。　　So
  she　occupied　herself　less　with　the　children；　not　with　the　same
  intensity　as　formerly；　and　paid　more　and　more　attention　to
  herself；　to　her　face；although　she　concealed　it；to　her
  pleasures；　and　even　to　her　perfection　from　the　worldly　point　of
  view。　　She　began　to　devote　herself　passionately　to　the　piano；
  which　had　formerly　stood　forgotten　in　the　corner。　　There；　at　the
  piano；　began　the　adventure。
  〃The　MAN　appeared。〃
  Posdnicheff　seemed　embarrassed；　and　twice　again　there　escaped　him
  that　nasal　sound　of　which　I　spoke　above。　　I　thought　that　it　gave
  him　pain　to　refer　to　the　MAN；　and　to　remember　him。　　He　made　an
  effort；　as　if　to　break　down　the　obstacle　that　embarrassed　him；
  and　continued　with　determination。
  〃He　was　a　bad　man　in　my　eyes；　and　not　because　he　has　played　such
  an　important　role　in　my　life；　but　because　he　was　really　such。
  For　the　rest；　from　the　fact　that　he　was　bad；　we　must　conclude
  that　he　was　irresponsible。　　He　was　a　musician；　a　violinist。　　Not
  a　professional　musician；　but　half　man　of　the　world；　half　artist。
  His　father；　a　country　proprietor；　was　a　neighbor　of　my　father's。
  The　father　had　become　ruined；　and　the　children；　three　boys；　were
  all　sent　away。　　Our　man；　the　youngest；　was　sent　to　his　godmother
  at　Paris。　　There　they　placed　him　in　the　Conservatory；　for　he
  showed　a　taste　for　music。　　He　came　out　a　violinist；　and　played　in
  concerts。〃
  On　the　point　of　speaking　evil　of　the　other；　Posdnicheff　checked
  himself；　stopped；　and　said　suddenly：
  〃In　truth；　I　know　not　how　he　lived。　　I　only　know　that　that　year
  he　came　to　Russia；　and　came　to　see　me。　　Moist　eyes　of　almond
  shape；　smiling　red　lips；　a　little　moustache　well　waxed；　hair
  brushed　in　the　latest　fashion；　a　vulgarly　pretty　face；what　the
  women　call　'not　bad；'feebly　built　physically；　but　with　no
  deformity；　with　hips　as　broad　as　a　woman's；　correct；　and
  insinuating　himself　into　the　familiarity　of　people　as　far　as
  possible；　but　having　that　keen　sense　that　quickly　detects　a　false
  step　and　retires　in　reason；a　man；　in　short；　observant　of　the
  external　rules　of　dignity；　with　that　special　Parisianism　that　is
  revealed　in　buttoned　boots；　a　gaudy　cravat；　and　that　something
  which　foreigners　pick　up　in　Paris；　and　which；　in　its　peculiarity
  and　novelty；　always　has　an　influence　on　our　women。　　In　his
  manners　an　external　and　artificial　gayety；　a　way；　you　know；　of
  refer