第 70 节
作者:小秋      更新:2021-03-11 17:57      字数:9322
  I expressed a wish to see what revelation of a depraved nature
  the entries in the diary might present; and my curiosity was
  gratified。 At a fitter time; I may find an opportunity of
  alluding to the impression produced on me by the diary。 In the
  meanwhile; the event of Philip's return claims notice in the
  first place。
  The poor fellow was so glad to see me that he shook hands as
  heartily as if we had known each other from the time when he was
  a boy。
  〃Do you remember how kindly you spoke to me when I called on you
  in London?〃 he asked。 〃If I have repeated those words oncebut
  perhaps you don't remember them? You said: 'If I was as young as
  you are; I should not despair。' Well! I have said that to myself
  over and over again; for a hundred times at least。 Eunice will
  listen to you; sir; when she will listen to nobody else。 This is
  the first happy moment I have had for weeks past。〃
  I suppose I must have looked glad to hear that。 Anyway; Philip
  shook hands with me again。
  Miss Jillgall was present。 The gentle…hearted old maid was so
  touched by our meeting that she abandoned herself to the genial
  impulse of the moment; and gave Philip a kiss。 The outraged
  claims of propriety instantly seized on her。 She blushed as if
  the long…lost days of her girlhood had been found again; and ran
  out of the room。
  〃Now; Mr。 Philip;〃 I said; 〃I have been waiting; at Miss
  Jillgall's suggestion; to get my information from you。 There is
  something wrong between Eunice and yourself。 What is it? And who
  is to blame?〃
  〃Her vile sister is to blame;〃 he answered。 〃That reptile was
  determined to sting us。 And she has done it!〃 he cried; starting
  to his feet; and walking up and down the room; urged into action
  by his own unendurable sense of wrong。 〃I say; she has done it;
  after Eunice has saved medone it; when Eunice was ready to be
  my wife。〃
  〃How has she done it?〃
  Between grief and indignation his reply was involved in a
  confusion of vehemently…spoken words; which I shall not attempt
  to reproduce。 Eunice had reminded him that her sister had been
  publicly convicted of an infamous crime; and publicly punished
  for it by imprisonment。 〃If I consent to marry you;〃 she said; 〃I
  stain you with my disgrace; that shall never be。〃 With this
  resolution; she had left him。 〃I have tried to convince her;〃
  Philip said; 〃that she will not be associated with her sister's
  disgrace when she bears my name; I have promised to take her far
  away from England; among people who have never even heard of her
  sister。 Miss Jillgall has used her influence to help me。 All in
  vain! There is no hope for us but in you。 I am not thinking
  selfishly only of myself。 She tries to conceal itbut; oh; she
  is broken…hearted! Ask the farmer's wife; if you don't believe
  me。 Judge for yourself; sir。 Gofor God's sake; go to the farm。〃
  I made him sit down and compose himself。
  〃You may depend on my going to the farm;〃 I answered。 〃I shall
  write to Eunice to…day; and follow my letter to…morrow。〃 He tried
  to thank me; but I would not allow it。 〃Before I consent to
  accept the expression of your gratitude;〃 I said; 〃I must know a
  little more of you than I know now。 This is only the second
  occasion on which we have met。 Let us look back a little; Mr。
  Philip Dunboyne。 You were Eunice's affianced husband; and you
  broke faith with her。 That was a rascally action。 How do you
  defend it?〃
  His head sank。 〃I am ashamed to defend it;〃 he answered。
  I pressed him without mercy。 〃You own yourself;〃 I said; 〃that it
  was a rascally action?〃
  〃Use stronger language against me; even than that; sirI deserve
  it。〃
  〃In plain words;〃 I went on; 〃you can find no excuse for your
  conduct?〃
  〃In the past time;〃 he said; 〃I might have found excuses。〃
  〃But you can't find them now?〃
  〃I must not even look for them now。〃
  〃Why not?〃
  〃I owe it to Eunice to leave my conduct at its worst; with
  nothing saidby meto defend it。〃
  〃What has Eunice done to have such a claim on you as that?〃
  〃Eunice has forgiven me。〃
  It was gratefully and delicately said。 Ought I to have allowed
  this circumstance to weigh with me? I ask; in return; had _I_
  never committed any faults? As a fellow…mortal and fellow…sinner;
  had I any right to harden my heart against an expression of
  penitence which I felt to be sincere in its motive?
  But I was bound to think of Eunice。 I did think of her; before I
  ventured to accept the positionthe critical position; as I
  shall presently showof Philip's friend。
  After more than an hour of questions put without reserve; and of
  answers given without prevarication; I had traveled over the
  whole ground laid out by the narratives which appear in these
  pages; and had arrived at my conclusionso far as Philip
  Dunboyne was concerned。
  I found him to be a man with nothing absolutely wicked in
  himbut with a nature so perilously weak; in many respects; that
  it might drift into wickedness unless a stronger nature was at
  hand to bold it back。 Married to a wife without force of
  character; the probabilities would point to him as likely to
  yield to examples which might make him a bad husband。 Married to
  a wife with a will of her own; and with true love to sustain
  hera wife who would know when to take the command and how to
  take the commanda wife who; finding him tempted to commit
  actions unworthy of his better self; would be far…sighted enough
  to perceive that her husband's sense of honor might sometimes
  lose its balance; without being on that account hopelessly
  depravedthen; and; in these cases only; the probabilities would
  point to Philip as a man likely to be the better and the happier
  for his situation; when the bonds of wedlock had got him。
  But the serious question was not answered yet。
  Could I feel justified in placing Eunice in the position toward
  Philip which I have just endeavored to describe? I dared not
  allow my mind to dwell on the generosity which had so nobly
  pardoned him; or on the force of character which had bravely
  endured the bitterest disappointment; the cruelest humiliation。
  The one consideration which I was bound to face; was the sacred
  consideration of her happiness in her life to come。
  Leaving Philip; with a few words of sympathy which might help him
  to bear his suspense; I went to my room to think。
  The time passedand I could arrive at no positive conclusion。
  Either waywith or without Philipthe contemplation of Eunice's
  future harassed me with doubt。 Even if I had conquered my own
  indecision; and had made up my mind to sanction the union of the
  two young people; the difficulties that now beset me would not
  have been dispersed。 Knowing what I alone knew; I could certainly
  remove Eunice's one objection to the marriage。 In other words; I
  had only to relate what had happened on the day when the Chaplain
  brought the Minister to the prison; and the obstacle of their
  union would be removed。 But; without considering Philip; it was
  simply out of the question to do this; in mercy to Eunice
  herself。 What was Helena's disgrace; compared with the infamy
  which stained the name of the poor girl's mother! The other
  alternative of telling her part of the truth only was before me;
  if I could persuade myself to adopt it。 I failed to persuade
  myself; my morbid anxiety for her welfare made me hesitate again。
  Human patience could endure no more。 Rashness prevailed and
  prudence yieldedI left my decision to be influenced by the
  coming interview with Eunice。
  The next day I drove to the farm。 Philip's entreaties persuaded
  me to let him be my companion; on one conditionthat he waited
  in the carriage while I went into the house。
  I had carefully arranged my ideas; and had decided on proceeding
  with the greatest caution; before I ventured on saying the
  all…important words which; once spoken; were not to be recalled。
  The worst of those anxieties; under which the delicate health of
  Mr。 Gracedieu had broken down; was my anxiety now。 Could I
  reconcile it to my conscience to permit a man; innocent of all
  knowledge of the truth; to marry the daughter of a condemned
  murderess; without honestly telling him what he was about to do?
  Did I deserve to be pitied? did I deserve to be blamed?my mind
  was still undecided when I entered the house。
  She ran to meet me as if she had been my daughter; she kissed me
  as if she had been my daughter; she fondly looked up at me as if
  she had been my daughter。 At the sight of that sweet young face;
  so sorrowful; and so patiently enduring sorrow; all my doubts and
  hesitations; everything artificial about me with which I had
  entered the room; vanished in an instant。
  After she had thanked me for coming to see her; I saw her tremble
  a little。 The uppermost interest in her heart was forcing its way
  outward to expression; try as she might to keep it back。 〃Have
  you seen Philip?〃 she asked。 The tone in which she put that
  question decided meI was resolved to let her marry him。
  Impulse! Yes; impulse; asserting itself inexcusably in a man at
  the end of his life。 I ought to have known better than to have
  given way。 Very likely。 But am I the only mortal who ought to
  have known betterand did not?
  When Eunice asked if I had seen Philip; I owned th