第 17 节
作者:不是就是      更新:2021-02-27 02:46      字数:9322
  favourably。 She was tall; thin; and very pale; and looked as
  though she suffered from chronic depression and fatigue。 Yet;
  though her smile was a sad one; it was very kind; and her large;
  mournful eyes; with a slight cast in their vision; added to the
  pathos and attractiveness of her expression。 Her attitude; while
  not precisely that of a hunchback; made her whole form droop;
  while her every movement expressed languor。 Likewise; though her
  speech was deliberate; the timbre of her voice; and the manner in
  which she lisped her r's and l's; were very pleasing to the ear。
  Finally; she did not 〃ENTERTAIN〃 me。 Unfortunately; the answers
  which I returned to her questions concerning my relations seemed
  to afford her a painful interest; and to remind her of happier
  days: with the result that when; presently; her son left the
  room; she gazed at me in silence for a moment; and then burst
  into tears。 As I sat there in mute bewilderment; I could not
  conceive what I had said to bring this about。 At first I felt
  sorry for her as she sat there weeping with downcast eyes。 Next
  I began to think to myself: 〃Ought I not to try and comfort her;
  and how ought that to be done?〃 Finally; I began to feel vexed
  with her for placing me in such an awkward position。 〃Surely my
  appearance is not so moving as all that?〃 I reflected。 〃Or is she
  merely acting like this to see what I shall do under the
  circumstances?〃
  〃Yet it would not do for me to go;〃 I continued to myself; for
  that would look too much as though I were fleeing to escape her
  tears。〃 Accordingly I began fidgeting about on my seat; in order
  to remind her of my presence。
  〃Oh; how foolish of me!〃 at length she said; as she gazed at me
  for a moment and tried to smile。 〃There are days when one weeps
  for no reason whatever。〃 She felt about for her handkerchief; and
  then burst out weeping more violently than before。
  〃Oh dear! How silly of me to be for ever crying like this! Yet I
  was so fond of your mother! We were such friends! We…we〃
  At this point she found her handkerchief; and; burying her face
  in it; went on crying。 Once more I found myself in the same
  protracted dilemma。 Though vexed; I felt sorry for her; since her
  tears appeared to be genuineeven though I also had an idea that
  it was not so much for my mother that she was weeping as for the
  fact that she was unhappy; and had known happier days。 How it
  would all have ended I do not know; had not her son reappeared
  and said that his father desired to see her。 Thereupon she rose;
  and was just about to leave the room; when the General himself
  entered。 He was a small; grizzled; thick…set man; with bushy
  black eyebrows; a grey; close…cropped head; and a very stern;
  haughty expression of countenance。
  I rose and bowed to him; but the General (who was wearing three
  stars on his green frockcoat) not only made no response to my
  salutation; but scarcely even looked at me; so that all at once I
  felt as though I were not a human being at all; but only some
  negligible object such as a settee or window; or; if I were a
  human being; as though I were quite indistinguishable from such a
  negligible object。
  〃Then you have not yet written to the Countess; my dear?〃 he said
  to his wife in French; and with an imperturbable; yet determined;
  expression on his countenance。
  〃Good…bye; Monsieur Irtenieff;〃 Madame said to me; in her turn;
  as she made a proud gesture with her head and looked at my
  eyebrows just as her son had done。 I bowed to her; and again to
  her husband; but my second salutation made no more impression
  upon him than if a window had just been opened or closed。
  Nevertheless the younger Iwin accompanied me to the door; and on
  the way told me that he was to go to St。 Petersburg University;
  since his father had been appointed to a post in that city (and
  young Iwin named a very high office in the service)。
  〃Well; his Papa may do whatsoever he likes;〃 I muttered to myself
  as I climbed into the drozhki; 〃but at all events I will never
  set foot in that house again。 His wife weeps and looks at me as
  though I were the embodiment of woe; while that old pig of a
  General does not even give me a bow。 However; I will get even
  with him some day。〃 How I meant to do that I do not know; but my
  words nevertheless came true。
  Afterwards; I frequently found it necessary to remember the advice
  of my father when he said that I must cultivate the
  acquaintanceship of the Iwins; and not expect a man in the
  position of General Iwin to pay any attention to a boy like
  myself。 But I had figured in that position long enough。
  XXI
  PRINCE IVAN IVANOVITCH
  〃Now for the last callthe visit to Nikitskaia Street;〃 I said
  to Kuzma; and we started for Prince Ivan Ivanovitch's mansion。
  Towards the end; a round of calls usually brings one a certain
  amount of self…assurance: consequently I was approaching the
  Prince's abode in quite a tranquil frame of mind; when suddenly I
  remembered the Princess Kornakoff's words that I was his heir;
  and at the same moment caught sight of two carriages waiting at
  the portico。 Instantly; my former nervousness returned。
  Both the old major…domo who opened the door to me; and the
  footman who took my coat; and the two male and three female
  visitors whom I found in the drawing…room; and; most of all;
  Prince Ivan Ivanovitch himself (whom I found clad in a 〃company〃
  frockcoat and seated on a sofa) seemed to look at me as at an
  HEIR; and so to eye me with ill…will。 Yet the Prince was very
  gracious and; after kissing me (that is to say; after pressing
  his cold; dry; flabby lips to my cheek for a second); asked me
  about my plans and pursuits; jested with me; inquired whether I
  still wrote verses of the kind which I used to indite in honour
  of my grandmother's birthdays; and invited me to dine with him
  that day。 Nevertheless; in proportion as he grew the kinder; the
  more did I feel persuaded that his civility was only intended to
  conceal from me the fact that he disliked the idea of my being
  his heir。 He had a custom (due to his false teeth; of which his
  mouth possessed a complete set) of raising his upper lip a little
  as he spoke; and producing a slight whistling sound from it; and
  whenever; on the present occasion; he did so it seemed to me that
  he was saying to himself: 〃A boy; a boyI know it! And my heir;
  toomy heir!〃
  When we were children; we had been used to calling the Prince
  〃dear Uncle;〃 but now; in my capacity of heir; I could not bring
  my tongue to the phrase; while to say 〃Your Highness;〃 as did one
  of the other visitors; seemed derogatory to my self…esteem。
  Consequently; never once during that visit did I call him anything
  at all。 The personage; however; who most disturbed me was the old
  Princess who shared with me the position of prospective
  inheritor; and who lived in the Prince's house。 While seated
  beside her at dinner; I felt firmly persuaded that the reason why
  she would not speak to me was that she disliked me for being her
  co…heir; and that the Prince; for his part; paid no attention to
  our side of the table for the reason that the Princess and myself
  hoped to succeed him; and so were alike distasteful in his sight。
  〃You cannot think how I hated it all!〃 I said to Dimitrieff the
  same evening; in a desire to make a parade of disliking the
  notion of being an heir (somehow I thought it the thing to do)。
  〃You cannot think how I loathed the whole two hours that I spent
  there!Yet he is a fine…looking old fellow; and was very kind to
  me;〃 I addedwishing; among other things; to disabuse my friend
  of any possible idea that my loathing had arisen out of the fact
  that I had felt so small。 〃It is only the idea that people may be
  classing me with the Princess who lives with him; and who licks
  the dust off his boots。 He is a wonderful old man; and good and
  considerate to everybody; but it is awful to see how he treats
  the Princess。 Money is a detestable thing; and ruins all human
  relations。
  〃Do you know; I think it would be far the best thing for me to
  have an open explanation with the Prince;〃 I went on; 〃to tell
  him that I respect him as a man; but think nothing of being his
  heir; and that I desire him to leave me nothing; since that is
  the only condition on which I can; in future; visit his house。〃
  Instead of bursting out laughing when I said this; Dimitri
  pondered awhile in silence; and then answered:
  〃You are wrong。 Either you ought to refrain from supposing that
  people may be classing you with this Princess of whom you speak;
  or; if you DO suppose such a thing; you ought to suppose further
  that people are thinking what you yourself know quite well
  namely; that such thoughts are so utterly foreign to your nature
  that you despise them and would never make them a basis for
  action。 Suppose; however; that people DO suppose you to suppose
  such a thingWell; to sum up;〃 he added