第 1 节
作者:吹嘻      更新:2021-02-27 02:37      字数:9322
  A FAIR PENITENT
  A FAIR PENITENT
  by WILKIE COLLINS
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  A FAIR PENITENT
  Charles Pineau Duclos was a French writer of biographies and novels;
  who lived and worked during the first half of the eighteenth century。                        He
  prospered sufficiently well; as a literary man; to be made secretary to the
  French Academy;   and   to   be   allowed   to   succeed Voltaire   in   the   office   of
  historiographer of   France。          He has   left   behind   him;  in   his own   country;
  the   reputation   of   a   lively   writer   of   the   second   class;   who   addressed   the
  public   of   his   day   with   fair   success;   and   who;   since   his   death;   has   not
  troubled posterity to take any particular notice of him。
  Among the papers left by Duclos; two manuscripts were found; which
  he   probably  intended   to   turn   to   some   literary  account。        The   first   was   a
  brief     Memoir;       written      by    himself;      of   a    Frenchwoman;          named
  Mademoiselle Gautier; who began life as an actress and who ended it as a
  Carmelite nun。         The second manuscript was the lady's own account of the
  process   of   her   conversion;   and   of   the   circumstances   which   attended   her
  moral passage from the state of a sinner to the state of a saint。                   There are
  certain national peculiarities in the character of Mademoiselle Gautier and
  in the narrative of her conversion; which are perhaps interesting enough to
  be reproduced with some chance of pleasing the present day。
  It    appears;     from     the    account     given     of    her    by   Duclos;      that
  Mademoiselle   Gautier   made   her   appearance   on   the   stage   of   the   Theatre
  Francois in the year seventeen hundred and sixteen。                   She is described as a
  handsome        woman;      with    a   fine   figure;   a   fresh   complexion;       a   lively
  disposition;      and   a  violent    temper。     Besides      possessing     capacity     as  an
  actress;   she   could   write   very   good   verses;   she   was   clever   at   painting   in
  miniature;      and;   most    remarkable      quality    of  all;  she   was    possessed     of
  prodigious   muscular   strength。          It   is   recorded   of   Mademoiselle;   that   she
  could   roll   up   a  silver   plate   with   her  hands;   and that   she  covered   herself
  with distinction in a trial of strength with no less a person than the famous
  soldier; Marshal Saxe。
  Nobody       who     is  at  all  acquainted      with    the   social   history    of   the
  eighteenth century in France; need be told that Mademoiselle Gautier had
  a   long    list   of  lovers;for   the  most   part;    persons   of   quality;    marshals;
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  A FAIR PENITENT
  counts; and so forth。         The only man; however; who really attached her to
  him;   was   an   actor   at   the   Theatre   Francois;   a   famous   player   in   his   day;
  named   Quinault   Dufresne。          Mademoiselle   Gautier   seems   to   have   loved
  him with all the ardour of her naturally passionate disposition。                      At first;
  he returned her affection; but; as soon as she ventured to test the sincerity
  of    his   attachment      by   speaking     of   marriage;     he   cooled     towards     her
  immediately; and the connection between them was broken off。                        In all her
  former     love…affairs;     she   had   been    noted   for   the  high    tone   which     she
  adopted   towards   her   admirers;   and   for   the   despotic   authority   which   she
  exercised over them even in her gayest moments。                      But the severance of
  her   connection   with   Quinault   Dufresne   wounded   her   to   her   heart。          She
  had loved the   man   so   dearly;  had made   so   many  sacrifices for   him;  had
  counted so fondly on the devotion of her whole future life to him; that the
  first discovery of his coldness towards her broke her spirit at once and for
  ever。    She fell into a condition of hopeless melancholy; looked back with
  remorse   and   horror   at   her   past   life;   and   abandoned   the   stage   and   the
  society in which she had lived; to end her days repentantly in the character
  of a Carmelite nun。
  So far;  her history  is the history of   hundreds of  other women   before
  her time and after it。       The prominent interest of her life; for the student of
  human nature; lies in the story of her conversion; as told by herself。                     The
  greater     part   of   the   narrativeevery      page    of   which     is  more    or   less
  characteristic      of  the   Frenchwoman         of  the   eighteenth     centurymay       be
  given; with certain suppressions and abridgments; in her own words。                        The
  reader     will   observe;     at  the   outset;   one    curious    fact。    Mademoiselle
  Gautier does   not   so   much   as   hint   at the   influence   which   the   loss   of   her
  lover    had    in  disposing     her   mind    to  reflect   on   serious    subjects。    She
  describes her conversion as if it had taken its rise in a sudden inspiration
  from     Heaven。       Even      the   name     of   Quinault     Dufresne      is   not   once
  mentioned from one end of her narrative to the other。
  On    the   twenty…fifth     of  April;   seventeen      hundred     and   twenty…two
  (writes Mademoiselle Gautier); while I was still leading a life of pleasure
  according   to   the   pernicious   ideas   of   pleasure   which   pass   current   in   the
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  worldI happen to awake; contrary to my usual custom; between eight and
  nine o'clock in the morning。          I remember that it is my birthday; I ring for
  my people; and my maid answers the bell; alarmed by the idea that I am ill。
  I tell her to dress me that I may go to mass。                I go to the Church of the
  Cordeliers;  followed   by  my  footman;  and   taking   with   me   a   little   orphan
  whom   I   had   adopted。      The   first   part   of   the   mass   is   celebrated   without
  attracting my attention; but; at the second part the accusing voice of my
  conscience suddenly  begins   to   speak。          〃What brings   you here?〃   it   says。
  〃Do   you   come   to   reward   God   for   making   you   the   attractive   person   that
  you   are;   by   mortally   transgressing   His   laws   every   day  of   your   life?〃    I
  hear that question; and I am unspeakably overwhelmed by it。                       I quit the
  chair   on   which   I   have   hitherto   been   leaning   carelessly;   and   I   prostrate
  myself in an agony of remorse on the pavement of the church。
  The   mass   over;   I   send   home   the   footman   and   the   orphan;   remaining
  behind     myself;    plunged     in  inconceivable      perplexity。     At    last  I  rouse
  myself   on   a   sudden;   I   go   to   the   sacristy;   I   demand   a   mass   for   my   own
  proper advantage every day; I determine to attend it regularly; and; after
  three hours of agitation; I return home; resolved to enter on the path that
  leads to justification。
  Six months passed。         Every morning I went to my mass: every evening
  I spent in my customary dissipations。
  Some of my friends indulged in considerable merriment at my expense
  when   they   found   out   my   constant   attendance   at   mass。        Accordingly;   I
  disguised myself as a boy; when I went to church; to escape observation。
  My   disguise   was   found   out;   and   the   jokes   against   me   were   redoubled。
  Upon this; I began to think of the words of the Gospel; which declare the
  impossibility      of   serving    two   masters。     I   determined      to  abandon      the
  service of Mammon。
  The first vanity I gave up was the vanity of keeping a maid。                   By way
  of further accustoming myself to the retreat from the world which I now
  began to meditate; I declined all invitations to parties under the pretext of
  indisposition。      But the nearer the Easter time approached at which I had
  settled in my own mind definitely to turn my back on worldly temptations
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  and pleasures; the more violent became my internal struggles with myself。
  My health suffered under them to such an extent that I