第 64 节
作者:寻找山吹      更新:2021-02-27 02:13      字数:9322
  Much as we might deplore the political system that had grown up; we had
  to acknowledge; if we were consistent; that it was the base on which our
  prosperity was built。  I was rather proud of having evolved this
  argument; it fortified my own peace of mind; which had been disturbed by
  Tom's attitude。  I began to pity him。  He had not been very successful in
  life; and with the little he earned; added to Susan's income; I knew that
  a certain ingenuity was required to make both ends meet。  He sat
  listening with a troubled look。  A passing phase of feeling clouded for a
  brief moment my confidence when there arose in my mind an unbidden memory
  of my youth; of my father。  He; too; had mistrusted my ingenuity。  I
  recalled how I had out…manoeuvred him and gone to college; I remembered
  the March day so long ago; when Tom and I had stood on the corner
  debating how to deceive him; and it was I who had suggested the nice
  distinction between a boat and a raft。  Well; my father's illogical
  attitude towards boyhood nature; towards human nature; had forced me into
  that lie; just as the senseless attitude of the public to…day forced
  business into a position of hypocrisy。
  〃Well; that's clever;〃 he said; slowly and perplexedly; when I had
  finished。  〃It's damned clever; but somehow it looks to me all wrong。  I
  can't pick it to pieces。〃  He got up rather heavily。  〃II guess I ought
  to be going。  Susan doesn't know where I am。〃
  I was exasperated。  It was clear; though he did not say so; that he
  thought me dishonest。  The pain in his eyes had deepened。
  〃If you feel that way〃 I said。
  〃Oh; God; I don't know how I feel!〃 he cried。  〃You're the oldest friend
  I have; Hugh;I can't forget that。  We'll say nothing more about it。〃
  He picked up his hat and a moment later I heard the front door close
  behind him。  I stood for a while stock…still; and then went into the
  livingroom; where Maude was sewing。
  〃Why; where's Tom?〃 she inquired; looking up。
  〃Oh; he went home。  He said Susan didn't know where he was。〃
  〃How queer!  Hugh; was there anything the matter?  Is he in trouble?〃 she
  asked anxiously。
  I stood toying with a book…mark; reflecting。  She must inevitably come to
  suspect that something had happened; and it would be as well to fortify
  her。
  〃The trouble is;〃 I said after a moment; 〃that Perry and Tom would like
  to run modern business on the principle of a charitable institution。
  Unfortunately; it is not practical。  They're upset because I have been
  retained by a syndicate whose object is to develop some land out beyond
  Maplewood Avenue。  They've bought the land; and we are asking the city to
  give us a right to build a line out Maplewood Avenue; which is the
  obvious way to go。  Perry says it will spoil the avenue。  That's
  nonsense; in the first place。  The avenue is wide; and the tracks will be
  in a grass plot in the centre。  For the sake of keeping tracks off that
  avenue he would deprive people of attractive homes at a small cost; of
  the good air they can get beyond the heights; he would stunt the city's
  development。〃
  〃That does seem a little unreasonable;〃 Maude admitted。  〃Is that all he
  objects to?〃
  〃No; he thinks it an outrage because; in order to get the franchise; we
  have to deal with the city politicians。  Well; it so happens; and always
  has happened; that politics have been controlled by leaders; whom Perry
  calls ‘bosses;' and they are not particularly attractive men。  You
  wouldn't care to associate with them。  My father once refused to be mayor
  of the city for this reason。  But they are necessities。  If the people
  didn't want them; they'd take enough interest in elections to throw them
  out。  But since the people do want them; and they are there; every time a
  new street…car line or something of that sort needs to be built they have
  to be consulted; because; without their influence nothing could be done。
  On the other hand; these politicians cannot afford to ignore men of local
  importance like Leonard Dickinson and Adolf Scherer and Miller Gorse who
  represent financial substance and' responsibility。  If a new street…
  railroad is to be built; these are the logical ones to build it。  You
  have just the same situation in Elkington; on a smaller scale。
  Your family; the Hutchinses; own the mills and the street…railroads; and
  any new enterprise that presents itself is done with their money; because
  they are reliable and sound。〃
  〃It isn't pleasant to think that there are such people as the
  politicians; is it?〃 said Maude; slowly。
  〃Unquestionably not;〃 I agreed。  〃It isn't pleasant to think of some
  other crude forces in the world。  But they exist; and they have to be
  dealt with。  Suppose the United States should refuse to trade with Russia
  because; from our republican point of view; we regarded her government as
  tyrannical and oppressive? or to cooperate with England in some
  undertaking for the world's benefit because we contended that she ruled
  India with an iron hand?  In such a case; our President and Senate would
  be scoundrels for making and ratifying a treaty。  Yet here are Perry and
  Tom; and no doubt Susan and Lucia; accusing me; a lifetime friend; of
  dishonesty because I happen to be counsel for a syndicate that wishes to
  build a street…railroad for the convenience of the people of the city。〃
  〃Oh; no; not of dishonesty!〃 she exclaimed。  〃I can'tI won't believe
  they would do that。〃
  〃Pretty near it;〃 I said。  〃If I listened to them; I should have to give
  up the law altogether。〃
  〃Sometimes;〃 she answered in a low voice; 〃sometimes I wish you would。〃
  〃I might have expected that you would take their point of view。〃
  As I was turning away she got up quickly and put her hand on my shoulder。
  〃Hugh; please don't say such thingsyou've no right to say them。〃
  〃And you?〃 I asked。
  〃Don't you see;〃 she continued pleadingly; 〃don't you see that we are
  growing apart?  That's the only reason I said what I did。  It isn't that
  I don't trust you; that I don't want you to have your work; that I demand
  all of you。  I know a woman can't ask that;can't have it。  But if you
  would only give megive the children just a little; if I could feel that
  we meant something to you and that this other wasn't gradually becoming
  everything; wasn't absorbing you more and more; killing the best part of
  you。  It's poisoning our marriage; it's poisoning all your
  relationships。〃
  In that appeal the real Maude; the Maude of the early days of our
  marriage flashed forth again so vividly that I was taken aback。  I
  understood that she had had herself under control; had worn a maska
  mask I had forced on her; and the revelation of the continued existence
  of that other Maude was profoundly disturbing。  Was it true; as she said;
  that my absorption in the great game of modern business; in the modern
  American philosophy it implied was poisoning my marriage? or was it that
  my marriage had failed to satisfy and absorb me?  I was touchedbut
  sentimentally touched: I felt that this was a situation that ought to
  touch me; I didn't wish to face it; as usual: I couldn't acknowledge to
  myself that anything was really wrong。。。  I patted her on the shoulder; I
  bent over and kissed her。
  〃A man in my position can't altogether choose just how busy he will be;〃
  I said smiling。  〃Matters are thrust upon me which I have to accept; and
  I can't help thinking about some of them when I come home。  But we'll go
  off for a real vacation soon; Maude; to Europeand take the children。〃
  〃Oh; I hope so;〃 she said。
  From this time on; as may be supposed; our intercourse with both the
  Blackwoods began to grow less frequent; although Maude continued to see a
  great deal of Lucia; and when we did dine in their company; or they with
  us; it was quite noticeable that their former raillery was suppressed。
  Even Tom had ceased to refer to me as the young Napoleon of the Law: he
  clung to me; but he too kept silent on the subject of business。  Maude of
  course must have noticed this; must have sensed the change of atmosphere;
  have known that the Blackwoods; at least; were maintaining appearances
  for her sake。  She did not speak to me of the change; nor I to her; but
  when I thought of her silence; it was to suspect that she was weighing
  the question which had led up to the difference between Perry and me; and
  I had a suspicion that the fact that I was her husband would not affect
  her ultimate decision。  This faculty of hers of thinking things out
  instead of accepting my views and decisions was; as the saying goes;
  getting a little 〃on my nerves〃: that she of all women should have
  developed it was a recurring and unpleasant surprise。  I began at times
  to pity myself a little; to feel the need of sympathetic companionship
  feminine companionship。。。。
  I shall not go into the details of the procurement of what became known
  as the Riverside Franchise。  In spite of the Maplewood residents; of the
  City Improvement League and individual protests; we obtained it with
  absurd ease。  Indeed Perry Blackwood himself appeared before the Public
  Utilities Committee of the Board。  of Aldermen; anal vas listened to with
  deference and gravity while he discoursed on the defacement of a
  beautiful bou