第 33 节
作者:猫王      更新:2021-02-27 00:40      字数:9322
  her face。〃
  It gave me a sudden wrench of the heart…strings。               I could have killed
  Strickland then; and I knew that my voice was trembling when I bade the
  nurse goodbye。
  I found Dirk waiting for me on the steps。             He seemed to see nothing;
  and   did   not   notice   that   I   had   joined   him   till   I   touched   him   on   the   arm。
  We   walked   along   in   silence。    I   tried   to   imagine   what   had   happened   to
  drive the poor creature to that dreadful step。             I presumed that Strickland
  knew what had happened; for someone must have been to see him from
  the police; and he must have made his statement。                 I did not know where
  he was。      I supposed he had gone back to the shabby attic which served
  him   as   a   studio。  It   was   curious   that   she   should   not   wish   to   see   him。
  Perhaps   she   refused   to   have   him   sent   for   because   she   knew   he   would
  refuse   to   come。    I   wondered   what   an   abyss   of   cruelty   she   must   have
  looked into that in horror she refused to live。
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  Chapter XXXVI
  The    next  week     was   dreadful。    Stroeve     went    twice   a  day   to  the
  hospital to enquire after his wife; who still declined to see him; and came
  away at first relieved and hopeful because he was told that she seemed to
  be growing better; and then in despair because; the complication which the
  doctor   had   feared   having   ensued;   recovery  was   impossible。         The   nurse
  was pitiful to his distress; but she had little to say that could console him。
  The poor woman lay quite still; refusing to speak; with her eyes intent; as
  though   she   watched   for   the   coming   of   death。   It   could   now   be   only   the
  question of a day or two; and when; late one evening; Stroeve came to see
  me I knew it was to tell me she was dead。              He was absolutely exhausted。
  His volubility had left him at last; and he sank down wearily on my sofa。
  I felt that no words of condolence availed; and I let him lie there quietly。
  I   feared   he   would   think   it   heartless   if   I   read;   so   I   sat   by   the   window;
  smoking a pipe; till he felt inclined to speak。
  〃You've been very kind to me;〃 he said at last。            〃Everyone's been very
  kind。〃
  〃Nonsense;〃 I said; a little embarrassed。
  〃At the hospital they told me I might wait。            They gave me a chair; and
  I sat outside the door。        When she became unconscious they said I might
  go in。    Her mouth and chin were all burnt by the acid。                 It was awful to
  see her lovely skin all wounded。           She died very peacefully; so that I didn't
  know she was dead till the sister told me。〃
  He was too tired to weep。           He lay on his back limply; as though all
  the   strength   had   gone   out   of   his   limbs;   and   presently   I   saw   that   he   had
  fallen    asleep。   It   was   the   first  natural  sleep   he  had   had    for  a  week。
  Nature;   sometimes   so   cruel;   is   sometimes   merciful。      I   covered   him   and
  turned down the light。         In the morning when I awoke he was still asleep。
  He had not moved。         His gold…rimmed spectacles were still on his nose。
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  The Moon and Sixpence
  Chapter XXXVII
  The circumstances of Blanche Stroeve's death necessitated all manner
  of dreadful formalities; but at last we were allowed to bury her。                Dirk and
  I alone followed the hearse to the cemetery。 We went at a foot…pace; but on
  the way back we trotted; and there was something to my mind singularly
  horrible   in   the   way   the   driver   of   the   hearse   whipped   up   his   horses。   It
  seemed to dismiss the dead with a shrug of the shoulders。 Now and then I
  caught sight of the swaying hearse in front of us; and our own driver urged
  his   pair   so   that   we   might   not   remain   behind。 I   felt   in   myself;   too;   the
  desire   to   get   the   whole   thing   out   of   my   mind。 I   was   beginning   to   be
  bored   with   a   tragedy   that   did   not   really   concern   me;   and   pretending   to
  myself that I spoke in order to distract Stroeve; I turned with relief to other
  subjects。
  〃Don't you think you'd better go away for a bit?〃 I said。 〃There can be
  no object in your staying in Paris now。〃
  He did not answer; but I went on ruthlessly:
  〃Have you made any plans for the immediate future?〃
  〃No。〃
  〃You must try and gather together the threads again。 Why don't you go
  down to Italy and start working?〃
  Again   he   made   no   reply;   but   the   driver   of   our   carriage   came   to   my
  rescue。     Slackening his pace for a moment; he leaned over and spoke。                    I
  could   not   hear   what   he   said;   so   I   put   my   head   out   of   the   window。 he
  wanted to know where we wished to be set down。                     I told him to wait a
  minute。
  〃You'd better come and have lunch with me;〃 I said to Dirk。 〃I'll tell
  him to drop us in the Place Pigalle。〃
  〃I'd rather not。     I want to go to the studio。〃
  I hesitated a moment。
  〃Would you like me to come with you?〃 I asked then。
  〃No; I should prefer to be alone。〃
  〃All right。〃
  I  gave   the  driver the  necessary  direction;  and  in   renewed   silence   we
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  drove on。      Dirk had not been to the studio since the wretched morning on
  which they had taken Blanche to the hospital。 I was glad he did not want
  me to accompany him; and when I left him at the door I walked away with
  relief。   I   took   a   new   pleasure   in   the   streets   of   Paris;   and   I   looked   with
  smiling eyes at the people who hurried to and fro。                The day was fine and
  sunny; and I felt in myself a more acute delight in life。             I could not help it;
  I put Stroeve and his sorrows out of my mind。               I wanted to enjoy。
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  The Moon and Sixpence
  Chapter XXXVIII
  I did not see him again for nearly a week。            Then he fetched me soon
  after seven one evening and took me out to dinner。 He was dressed in the
  deepest   mourning;   and on   his bowler   was   a   broad   black   band。        He   had
  even a black border to his handkerchief。 His garb of woe suggested that he
  had   lost   in   one   catastrophe   every   relation   he   had   in   the   world;   even   to
  cousins     by  marriage     twice   removed。      His    plumpness     and   his  red;   fat
  cheeks made his mourning not a little incongruous。                 It was cruel that his
  extreme unhappiness should have in it something of buffoonery。
  He told me he had made up his mind to go away; though not to Italy; as
  I had suggested; but to Holland。
  〃I'm starting to…morrow。         This is perhaps the last time we shall ever
  meet。〃
  I made an appropriate rejoinder; and he smiled wanly。
  〃I   haven't   been   home   for   five   years。  I   think   I'd   forgotten   it   all;   I
  seemed to have come so far away from my father's house that I was shy at
  the idea of revisiting it; but now I feel it's my only refuge。〃
  He was sore and bruised; and his thoughts went back to the tenderness
  of his mother's love。        The ridicule he had endured for years seemed now
  to weigh him down; and the final blow of Blanche's treachery had robbed
  him of the resiliency which had made him take it so gaily。                  He could no
  longer   laugh   with   those   who   laughed   at   him。    He   was   an   outcast。   He
  told   me   of   his   childhood   in   the   tidy   brick   house;   and   of   his   mother's
  passionate   orderliness。      Her   kitchen   was   a   miracle   of   clean   brightness。
  Everything was always in its place; and no where could you see a speck of
  dust。    Cleanliness; indeed; was a mania with her。              I saw a neat little old
  woman;   with   cheeks   like   apples;   toiling   away   from   morning   to   night;
  through the long years; to keep her house trim and spruce。                His father was
  a spare old man; his hands gnarled after the work of a lifetime; silent and
  upright;    in  the   evening    he   read   the  paper   aloud;    whil