第 25 节
作者:浮游云中      更新:2021-02-24 23:06      字数:9321
  she stood still; then closed the door softly。
  〃Lise;〃 she said。
  〃What?〃
  Janet sat down on the bed; putting out her hand。  Unconsciously she began to
  stroke Lise's hand; and presently it turned and tightened on her own。
  〃Lise;〃 she said; 〃I understand why you〃 she could not bring herself to
  pronounce the words 〃got drunk;〃〃I understand why you did it。  I oughtn't to
  have talked to you that way。  But it was terrible to wake up and see you。〃
  For awhile Lise did not reply。  Then she raised herself; feeling her hair with
  an involuntary gesture; regarding her sister with a bewildered look; her face
  puckered。  Her eyes burned; and under them were black shadows。
  〃How do you meanyou understand?〃  she asked slowly。  〃You never hit the
  booze。〃
  Even Lise's language; which ordinarily offended her; failed to change her
  sudden impassioned and repentant mood。  She was astonished at herself for this
  sudden softening; since she did not really love Lise; and all day she had hated
  her; wished never to see her again。
  〃No; but I can understand how it would be to want to;〃 Janet said。  〃Lise; I
  guess we're searchingboth of us for something we'll never find。〃
  Lise stared at her with a contracted; puzzled expression; as of a person
  awaking from sleep; all of whose faculties are being strained toward
  comprehension。
  〃What do you mean?〃 she demanded。  〃You and me?  You're all rightyou've got
  no kick coming。〃
  〃Life is hard; it's hard on girls like uswe want things we can't have。〃
  Janet was at a loss to express herself。
  〃Well; it ain't any pipe dream;〃 Lise agreed。  Her glance turned involuntarily
  toward the picture of the Olympian dinner party pinned on the wall。  〃Swells
  have a good time;〃 she added。
  〃Maybe they pay for it; too;〃 said Janet。
  〃I wouldn't holler about payingit's paying and not getting the goods;〃
  declared Lise。
  〃You'll pay; and you won't get it。  That kind of life ishell;〃 Janet cried。
  Self…centered as Lise was; absorbed in her own trouble and present physical
  discomfort; this unaccustomed word from her sister and the vehemence with which
  it was spoken surprised and frightened her; brought home to her some hint of
  the terror in Janet's soul。
  〃Me for the water wagon;〃 she said。
  Janet was not convinced。  She had hoped to discover the identity of the man who
  had taken Lise to Gruber's; but she did not attempt to continue the
  conversation。  She rose and took off her hat。
  〃Why don't you go to bed?〃  she asked。  〃I'll tell mother you have a headache
  and bring in your supper。〃
  〃Well; I don't care if I do;〃 replied Lise; gratefully。
  Perhaps the most disconcerting characteristic of that complex affair; the human
  organism; is the lack of continuity of its moods。  The soul; so called; is as
  sensitive to physical conditions as a barometer: affected by lack of sleep; by
  smells and sounds; by food; by the weatherwhether a day be sapphire or
  obsidian。  And the resolutions arising from one mood are thwarted by the
  actions of the next。  Janet had observed this phenomenon; and sometimes; when
  it troubled her; she thought herself the most inconsistent and vacillating of
  creatures。  She had resolved; far instance; before she fell asleep; to leave
  the Chippering Mill; to banish Ditmar from her life; to get a position in Boston;
  whence she could send some of her wages home: and in the morning; as she made her
  way to the office; the determination gave her a sense of peace and unity。  But the
  northwest wind was blowing。  It had chased away the mist and the clouds; the smoke
  from Canada。  The sun shone with a high brilliancy; the elms of the Common cast
  sharp; black shadow…patterns on the pavements; and when she reached the office
  and looked out of his window she saw the blue river covered with quicksilver
  waves chasing one another across the current。  Ditmar had not yet returned to
  Hampton。  About ten o'clock; as she was copying out some figures for Mr。 Price;
  young Mr。 Caldwell approached her。  He had a Boston newspaper in his hand。
  〃Have you seen this article about Mr。 Ditmar?〃 he asked。
  〃About Mr。 Ditmar?  No。〃
  〃It's quite a send…off for the Colonel;〃 said Caldwell; who was wont at times
  to use the title facetiously。  〃Listen; ‘One of the most notable figures in the
  Textile industry of the United States; Claude Ditmar; Agent of the Chippering
  Mill。'〃 Caldwell spread out the page and pointed to a picture。  〃There he is;
  as large as life。〃
  A little larger than life; Janet thought。  Ditmar was one of those men who; as
  the expression goes; 〃take〃 well; a valuable asset in semi…public careers; and
  as he stood in the sunlight on the steps of the building where they had 〃snap…
  shotted〃 him he appeared even more massive; forceful; and preponderant than she
  had known him。  Beholding him thus set forth and praised in a public print; he
  seemed suddenly to have been distantly removed from her; to have reacquired at
  a bound the dizzy importance he had possessed for her before she became his
  stenographer。  She found it impossible to realize that this was the Ditmar who
  had pursued and desired her; at times supplicating; apologetic; abject; and
  again revealed by the light in his eyes and the trembling of his hand as the
  sinister and ruthless predatory male from whomsince the revelation in her
  sister Lise she had determined to flee; and whom she had persuaded herself she
  despised。  He was a bigger man than she had thought; and as she read rapidly
  down the column the fascination that crept over her was mingled with
  disquieting doubt of her own powers: it was now difficult to believe she had
  dominated or could ever dominate this self…sufficient; successful person; the
  list of whose achievements and qualities was so alluringly set forth by an
  interviewer who himself had fallen a victim。
  The article carried the implication that the modern; practical; American
  business man was the highest type as yet evolved by civilization: and Ditmar;
  referred to as 〃a wizard of the textile industry;〃 was emphatically one who had
  earned the gratitude of the grand old Commonwealth。  By the efforts of such
  sons she continued to maintain her commanding position among her sister states。
  Prominent among the qualities contributing to his success was openmindedness;
  〃a willingness to be shown;〃 to scrap machinery when his competitors still
  clung to older methods。  The Chippering Mill had never had a serious strike;
  indication of an ability to deal with labour; and Mr。 Ditmar's views on labour
  followed: if his people had a grievance; let them come to him; and settle it
  between them。  No unions。  He had consistently refused to recognize them。
  There was mention of the Bradlaugh order as being the largest commission ever
  given to a single mill; a reference to the excitement and speculation it had
  aroused in trade circles。  Claude Ditmar's ability to put it through was
  unquestioned; one had only to look at him;tenacity; forcefulness;
  executiveness were written all over him。。。。  In addition; the article contained
  much material of an autobiographical nature that mustJanet thoughthave been
  supplied by Ditmar himself; whose modesty had evidently shrunk from the cruder
  self…eulogy of an interview。  But she recognized several characteristic
  phrases。
  Caldwell; watching her as she read; was suddenly fascinated。  During a trip
  abroad; while still an undergraduate; he had once seen the face of an actress;
  a really good Parisian actress; light up in that way; and it had revealed to
  him; in a flash; the meaning of enthusiasm。  Now Janet became vivid for him。
  There must be something unusual in a person whose feelings could be so intense;
  whose emotions rang so true。  He was not unsophisticated。  He had sometimes
  wondered why Ditmar had promoted her; though acknowledging her ability。  He
  admired Ditmar; but had no illusions about him。  Harvard; and birth in a social
  stratum where emphasis is superfluous; enabled him to smile at the reporter's
  exuberance; and he was the more drawn toward her to see on Janet's flushed face
  the hint of a smile as she looked up at him when she had finished。
  〃The Colonel hypnotized that reporter;〃 he said; as he took the paper; and her
  laugh; despite its little tremor; betrayed in her an unsuspected; humorous
  sense of proportion。  〃Well; I'll take off my hat to him;〃 Caldwell went on。
  〃He is a wonder; he's got the mill right up to capacity in a week。  He's agreed
  to deliver those goods to the Bradlaughs by the first of April; you know; and
  Holster; of the Clarendon; swears it can't be done; he says Ditmar's crazy。
  Well; I stand to lose twenty…five dollars on him。〃
  This loyalty pleased Janet; it had the strange effect of reviving loyalty in
  her。  She liked this evidence of Dick Caldwell's confidence。  He was a self…
  contained and industrious young man; with crisp curly hair; cordial and
  friendly yet never intimate with the other employer; liked by thembut it was
  tacitly understood his footing differed from theirs。  He was a cousin of the
  Chipperings; and destined for rapid promotion。  He went away every Saturday; it
  was known that he spent Sundays and holidays in delightful places; to return
  reddened and tanned; and